Authors Note: This is a short story set in the Heart and Soul Universe. Jack and Ianto have settled down to a quiet life as members of a colony in very safe part of the universe. They live on their own small island as do all the families here. The inhabitants live in complete harmony with each other and the planet they have settled.
The Joys of Father Hood!
Striding forward with linked arms, Jack and Ianto, holding a baby carrier each, walked into the home they had built with their own hands. They glanced at each other, and both felt a deep sense of utter contentment as they now made their way to their bedroom.
For now the babies were going to remain in their room. Awaiting the babies was double crib made for them by one of the colonists. It was a gift and was a prefect representation of why they loved living here. It was a beautiful object, practical but with an elegant style. With great care they placed the carriers on the floor and releasing the straps took a baby each. Delicately they laid each baby side by side, pulled up the light blanket and stood back.
Via the bond they shared, linked by the rings on their respective left thumbs, both felt the other fill with an overwhelming feeling of completion and joy as they turned and kissed each other. Pulling back they turned their attention back to the sleeping babies.
"Essie and Rod," Ianto said already shorting their names from Sarah Esme and Jonathon Rodderick. Just think three days ago they were still in your tummy," Ianto said as Jack put his arm around him.
"It's hard to believe we made this happen, they are so perfect," Jack said in agreement with a deep sigh of happiness.
"Are we clever or what?" Ianto added as he let his own sigh.
"Yeah," Jack said as one of the babies stretched throwing a foot out. Jack moved forward, covering it over with the thin blanket.
"Thank you for giving me two beautiful children," Ianto said getting all misty.
"I didn't do it alone Ianto, I never thought I could be ever be this happy," Jack told him as he yawned.
"Right, Mister," Ianto said fighting to pull his gaze away from the sleeping infants. "Bed for you." Ianto turned and pulled back the bed covers as Jack stripped.
The birthing centre had given them both clear after care instructions. Jack had had a caesarean and regardless of medical advances it still represented abdominal surgery. He was to get as much rest as possible keeping in mind they were taking home twins. Ianto had been curious about this comment, he was not sure what other parents did but he was fully prepared. He had read every book he could lay his hands on. The problem was they were all full of competing advise so he had brought it down to: feeding, changing, enough sleep, should not be left to cry, so should be soothed. The basics were: after feeding babies became sleepy, you changed them; put them down to sleep, until they were hungry again, so it was full tummies, dry bums, cuddles, and sleep.
He felt reasonably confident he could cope, how difficult could it be? True he had never held or even looked after an infant and it was with some trepidation he had held them in his arms that first time making sure their head were supported. They were so tiny; he had never seen such exquisite miniature fingers and toes. His heart had swelled as each baby in turn had curled a hand around one of his fingers. He had never been so proud, or in love. Life was perfect, living here, being with Jack and now two beautiful children. He had always wanted a family and children were cute but he was sure no children could match a shine to his and Jack's. They were stunners and he was pleased see that Rod was well stacked, well he took after both his daddies in that respect.
Their time at the centre was busy and he had gained confidence and even managed to feed and change both babies at least once. Jack had been exhausted and slept a lot and Ianto had taken over care of both babies, standing alongside watching the staff, and Jack had got all the cuddles with the babies he needed.
Ianto went over the schedule he had worked out in his mind. He knew that with a strict time table he could manage both babies and let Jack get the much needed rest he deserved. The last few weeks had been hard on him. Male bodies were not designed for babies and they had struggled to keep his blood pressure under control. Ianto looked across as Jack stripped, his tummy still look swollen with a slight scar well on its way to being healed. He knew it would take time for the pregnancy organ to shrink back into place the size of a plumb.
Yawning, Ianto stretched. It had been a busy three days, starting with to a race to the centre via the on call ambulance service, holding Jack's hand who had looked genuinely scared. Preparation for surgery, watching the babies being born, then the elation as they held them for the first time...truth is told he hadn't had much sleep, not with being torn between looking after Jack and baby watching. He couldn't tear his gaze away, hours he had watched, just observing them breathe. He checked them one more time as he stripped and heard them snuffle. He joined Jack for a nap.
Hearing a soft cry, Ianto's eyes flew open. He looked across at the small clock; he had slept about an hour. Jack was still fast asleep so moving quickly so he did not disturb him he saw Esme was starting to wake up. Picking her up with extreme care and cradling her he moved to the kitchen.
Looking around the kitchen Ianto pulled forward the feeding instructions as Esme now became distressed. He took a breath then took a bottle out of the steriliser. Standing it on the counter and opening the fridge he took out the formula the centre had prepared just for her.
The crying now increased to a new level and Ianto noticed her face was bright red as she now opened her mouth fully and bellowed. He tried to read the list with her name on it: '300mls'. With Esme crying full force, he tried to pour an exact measure. He was momentarily distracted as she wiggled and he knocked the bottle over. Cursing he started again. Finally he placed it in the warmer and did his best to comfort her because she inconsolably sucking her fingers. The warmer dinged and pulling out the bottle he fumbled with the top screwing it on. Suddenly he realised he hadn't washed his hands. 'Shit' he thought 'Should he start all over again?' Esme answered the question for him now exploding with misery. Checking the temperature, he placed the teat into her mouth, and was rewarded with silence. Ianto breathed a sigh of relief as, with loud sucking noises she drank with great gusto.
He was amazed at the speed she could drink. In what seemed like seconds the bottle was empty. He looked at it impressed. 'Well she was half Welsh,' he thought. He felt a moment of satisfaction then he saw her face crease and opening her mouth she started to cry again. Not sure what was wrong, cradling her close Ianto moved her towards the nursery. 'Yes,' he recalled, she needed changing she was wet through. Placing her down on the changing table he now removed her nappy. As the nappy was removed she pulled her legs up as she bawled. He couldn't understand it by rights feeding her should have calmed her down, she should now get sleepy. He would change her, put her back to bed, and she should sleep a minimum of two hours. Which he figured was great because it gave him time to look after Rod when he woke up.
Reaching up he attempted to bring down a nappy from the caddy but it was stuck. He gave a sharp jerk, to the one in his hand and several nappies came out in one go and fell to the floor. Ignoring them he concentrated on the one he had in his hand as he tried to figure out how it went on. It was all so simple at the centre, there was a nurse instructing him how to do it, and he had done it. He pulled open the tabs, spread it out, and placed her bum under the nappy when a cry caught his attention, for a second it stopped him dead. He hesitated not sure what he should do. He couldn't leave Esme. His breathing hitched. Working as quickly as he could he threw the nappy on fumbling with the tabs, as he picked her up it fell off. Cursing he put her back down, as he heard Rod start to really cry as no one attended to him. 'Important rule for newborns,' he recalled, 'don't leave them to cry.' So he picked up speed not sure what the hell he was going to with both of them awake because his plans had only dealt with each baby, one at a time. Maybe now Esme was full and once changed she would settle down.
With that in mind he picked up the fallen nappy and he saw he had put it on backwards. Moving as fast as he could he put it back on then gently picked her up and moved to the bedroom. Much to his consternation Jack was up and had pulled on a tee-shirt and shorts and had picked up Rod holding him close to his chest making soothing noises.
"I'm just putting her down. So let me do that and I'll take Rod and you can get back to bed," he said.
Jack looked at Ianto for a moment and nodded. He did feel horrible, sore and tired but as he watched the drama unfold it was clear Esme was not going settle as Ianto picked her back up.
"Need a hand?" Jack asked.
"Yeah," Ianto admitted defeat.
"Ok what do I do," Jack asked as they reached the kitchen. Ianto pulled out the list prepared for Rod and indicated the supplies. Moving around the kitchen Jack prepared a bottle then placed the teat into Rod's mouth who sucked once, coughed and milk flowed out his mouth. He tried again.
"He's not drinking," Jack said concerned after the fourth go as he tried to figure out what was wrong as he saw Ianto trying to calm Esme down. He was momentarily distracted because he had never seen Ianto move quite like this before, it was a sway come sort of jiggle all in one. He was not sure what he was doing but it wasn't working, because she was screaming her lungs out. He turned his attention back to Rod and tried to again, and he looked up in frustration not sure what he was doing wrong. He calmed himself. It should be easy put the teat in baby's mouth they suck, how difficult could this be? The formula was specially prepared prefect for each baby based on their dietary needs. Rod became more agitated, his whole body now quivering.
"It's not working," Jack said as he kept trying.
"Let me," Ianto offered as they swapped babies. As he handed Esme to Jack she was tilted up right as she did she let out a huge belch and at least a third of her bottle hit Jack's tee-shirt and then splashed onto the floor with splatter hitting his feet.
Torn between helping Jack, Ianto's attention was pulled back to Rod who was now showing the same level of distress Esme had just before she was fed, so he put the teat in his mouth, to see him start to suck then as his mouth filled with milk. He cried in distress, gurgled and then milk spilt down the sides of his face.
"What should we do?" Jack asked as Esme began to cry again as he now found himself adopting the same sway jiggle Ianto had, hoping this would calm her down.
"He just won't eat," Ianto said his voice tinged with desperation.
"Ianto help me, she won't stop crying what do I do?" Jack asked him.
Ianto glanced up at him and gave him Jack the Look. "Alright, I should have paid more attention but you were doing enough reading for the both of us and when the time came I knew you would show me the ropes, you're so organised, you always know what to do," Jack told him.
"Fine time to tell me that now?" Ianto retorted as he let out a deep breath.
"So what do I do?" Jack asked again.
"I don't know give her some more?" Ianto said as he went back to trying to figure out why Rod wouldn't eat when he was so obviously hungry. He looked at the bottle, and checked it, it all felt and looked right. He tried again gently trying to coax him and was rewarded with a couple of swallows.
"How much should I give her?" Jack asked urgently as he struggled to soothe Esme who had started to cry with more force and was so distressed her lower lip was trembling.
One more swallow as Rod sucked at the nipple and as his mouth filled with milk he started to cry again. Not sure what to do Ianto desperately reached for the information sheet, throwing his eyes down it he searched for any information that might help but all there was a list of how much to feed each baby per feed.
"God, she can eat," Jack said as Esme drank down her bottle with extreme gusto. Again she was soothed for an instant then started crying. Leaning from the early incident he titled her upright and two things happened at once, she belched and stopped crying.
Letting out a deep breath, Ianto returned to focus on Rod who was only slightly placated as. He tried to feed him again only to feel him stiffen in preparation for the next outburst.
"What am I doing wrong?" Ianto said in desperation, "It's the right temperature? It's his formula, why won't he drink it?" he added as he tried to feed Rod again but was met with the same response.
"Let me put Esme down and I'll come back and help," Jack offered smugly at being able to get Esme quiet, as he headed to their bedroom feeling incredibly pleased with himself at managing to overcome at least one crisis.
Laying Esme down, Jack took a deep breath. 'First feed it was always going to be the most difficult ,one down, one to go,' he thought as he heard a whimper and the smiled dropped off his face as he looked down as Esme started to cry. He tried patting her on the back but this was no help. He picked up again and she stopped crying. Laying her down again she became even more distressed. Picking her up he headed back to the kitchen to see Ianto still struggling to feed Rod.
Ianto was not sure how much he had taken because most of it appeared to have been spat up. He looked up to see Jack return with Esme.
"Every time I put her down she cries," Jack told him as calmly as he could.
"He just won't eat Jack," Ianto said looking very worried. "I've tried everything. He's clearly hungry but every time he starts to suck he gets all frustrated and starts crying and I don't know what the hell to do."
Jack held his hand out to check the bottle. Everything looked okay. He looked the size of the teat he pulled out the bottle supplies and checked. He took out the teats and examined each one in turn. He chose one that looked the smallest so he replaced the teat and handed the bottle back to Ianto.
"It's cold," Ianto told him as Jack put the bottle into the warmer and with a ding handed it back to Ianto.
To both their reliefs Rod now gently began to suck with extreme slowness. They stood looking at each as they noticed the devastation in the kitchen.
Formula was split all over the counter, two cartons of milk were standing in the sink, and the fridge door was still open. The steriliser was pulled over, as one of them had tried to grab a bottle. Teats were scattered over another part of the bench. Seeing the fridge door was open Jack single handed placed one then the other carton back and closed it. Jack was covered in regurgitated formula of which some was still on the floor and Ianto was in his boxers.
Jack was jiggling Esme in an effort to keep her from crying. His efforts were sort of working as she only started to get really upset when he stopped. He paused as she let out a huge belch and spat up again. This time it was partially pre-digested and added to the mess on Jack's tee-shirt and started crying again. Jack felt her and she was soaked.
"I'll go change her," Jack said as he headed for the nursery
twtwtwtwtwtwtwtwtw
Putting the empty bottle down Ianto moved Rod carefully upright and he burped. He put the bottle down as Ianto's stomach rumbled as he looked at the kitchen clock.
'An hour and half, ' he said to himself and it had been incredibly hard work. He was at least quiet, but Rod was covered in formula and hadn't been changed. He was not sure how Rod felt but Ianto was all sticky and according to his understanding, he needed feeding every three hours. Not three hours from when he finished three hours from when he began, that meant starting all over again in 90 minutes. The one good thing was the smug git look was gone form Jack's face, which had appeared when he had managed to stop Esme crying the first time. And from the sounds coming from the other room, nothing was going to stop her.
Jack entered looking shattered. "Let's swap," he pleaded. "Let me take him and get him changed and cleaned up. See if you can calm Esme down, nothing works I've tried everything. I even tried to singing," he told Ianto.
"I heard, Jack," Ianto told him, a sarcastic edge to his voice. "If she was a foghorn baby it might have worked," he snapped.
"Well it was worth a try," Jack retorted a little too loudly as both babies reacted and Rod, who had been quiet started to cry and Esme changed pitch.
"Great!" Ianto retorted. As he stomach gave a huge growl and they both looked at the clock. It was almost three in the afternoon. They had both missed lunch, neither had eaten much breakfast due to the excitement of coming home and he was starving.
"Swap!" they both agreed.
twtwtwtwtwtwtwtwtwtwtw
Rod to his shoulder, hand firmly to his back Jack walked back towards the lounge. He had just finished a marathon feeding session. Rod was fussy, if the milk was not just the right temperature or the teat hole was not exactly the right size for that moment , he fussed. When he did settle it took him hours to finish his bottle. Regardless Jack was feeling reasonably pleased because he had finally managed to give Rod a quick wash. He couldn't face all the bath paraphernalia and so he had just filled the sink in the bath room with warm water, squirted in some baby wash and given him quick lick with a wash cloth, then changed his clothes. It was the hottest time of year so basically they didn't need much to wear. He had closed his eyes as he had passed the utilities room in an effort to ignore the ever growing pile of dirty nappies, cloths both he and Ianto now wore over their shoulders, along with ruined tee shirts.
Entering the lounge he could see Ianto was laid out on the sofa on his back still in his boxers from the day before. One leg ran along the back and the other was bent at the knee, foot on the floor, eyes closed, his head was supported the arm of the couch Esme was being held firmly in the centre of his chest by his arms as he rocked her side to side gently in a constant motion. Whilst he moved she was quiet, well almost, but as soon as the motions stopped she would start to gear herself up. As Jack got closer he heard a kind of low deep mumbling.
What's that noise you're making?" Jack asked curiously as he lent over closer to Ianto's lips in an effort to hear.
"Shut up, it works," Ianto told him not opening his eyes. Jack picked up the empty bottle form the small table.
"What did the centre say?" Ianto asked not opening his eyes.
"Normal," he stated as Ianto opened his eyes in shock.
"Normal! How can this be normal, Jack, one won't eat, the other gobs her feed down so fast she gives herself massive wind which causes her to bring most of it back up," he said in exasperation.
"They suggested we try her with a slower teat," He told him.
"We've tried that, it's fast or not it all," Ianto replied. "And what about the constant crying, what do we do? Ianto said looking hopeful.
"Colic, said it effects some babies, and others just need more physical contact," Jack explained.
Esme started to grumble and he realised he had stopped moving so he went back to her rocking again in earnest as he groaned.
"What about time between feeds? On the list it says 300mls every three hours, but it's like its every two hours for her, and soon as you finish with Rod it's time to start all over again," Ianto asked desperation.
"They said the list was an approximate guide which said 'about'..." Jack started to explain.
"About? It's not even close," he interrupted exhaustion slurring his words.
"And we should give them as much as they need," Jack finished his sentence.
"How do we know they're getting enough then?" Ianto asked anxiously looking up.
"Wet nappies, what goes in, must come out," Jack told him as Ianto raised an eyebrow.
Patting Rod's back he gently burped. Jack looked down at Ianto who looked completely wasted. Jack had been lucky he had slept at the centre but he knew Ianto had been not, his whole being had been focused on Jack and the babies. Right now he was the prefect picture of misery, but he did look an incredibly cute picture of prefect misery. Fatherhood suited him, he admitted to himself, with Esme curled up on his bare chest , her face buried in his soft chest hair as he held her close keeping her steady. Jack lent down and kissed Ianto on the forehead, "I love you," he said.
"Fine mess that got us into," Ianto retorted.
"I'll get us something to eat," Jack offered. As he turned towards the kitchen Ianto started to speak.
"I've come up with an invention," Ianto said as Jack went to leave. " It should be handed out with every baby. It's a dial with a needle you can put on a baby's head, and the needle will indicate exactly what the matter is," he said as he yawned. "Two bottles still hungry, wind, wet bum, cuddle required, bad mood, for example. Every parent will want one, we could make a fortune."
"Food!" Jack repeated.
Rod now settled in the crib for the first time Jack put together a plate full of sandwiches and two mug of coffee on a tray, then headed back and placed it on the small table to find both Esme and Ianto were fast asleep.
He glanced around the lounge and sank down in an arm chair. It looked like a mini tornado had swept through. One thing was sure: the normal tidy state of their lives had been shattered. 'How was it possible,' he pondered, 'that two small beings each less than twelve inches in length could be responsible for so much chaos disorder and disruption?' He looked at the clock, well they had made it through their first 48 hours. He felt his feet ache, as he took a deep breath taking a long sip of coffee. Tomorrow was a new day and you never knew, either he or Ianto might actually make it into the shower.