Fearless, a ncis fanfic

Hi everyone, this is my first NCIS fic. I am hoping that my characters aren't out of character. Warning I am not that great at English so please forgive my errors, it is also mostly written is Ziva's POV but sometimes Tony's.

This fanfic is called Fearless as I feel Taylor Swifts definition of Fearless is fantastic for anyone to live by.

"To me FEARLESS is not the absence of fear. It's not being completely unafraid. To me, FEARLESS is having doubts. Lots of them. To me FEARLESS is living in spite of those things that scare you to death. FEARLESS is falling madly in love again, even though you have been hurt before. FEARLESS is walking into your freshmen year of high school at fifteen. FEARLESS is getting back up and fighting for what you want over and over again...even though everytime you've tried before, you've lost. It's FEARLESS to have faith that someday things will change. FEARLESS is having the courage to say goodbye to someone who only hurts you, even though you can't breathe without them. I think it is FEARLESS to fall for your best friend even though he is in love with someone else. And when someone apoligizes to you enough times for things they'll never stop doing, I think it's FEARLESS to stop believing them. It's FEARLESS to say 'you're not sorry', and walk away. I think loving someone despite what people think is FEARLESS. I think allowing yourself to cry on the bathroom floor is FEARLESS. Letting go is FEARLESS. Then moving on and being alright...That's FEARLESS too. But no matter what love throws at you, you have to believe in it. You have to believe in love stories and prince charmings and happily ever after...Because I think love is FEARLESS" (Taylor Swift)

Most of my chapters will be names after country songs as that is my favourite genre of music and I like a lot of the meaning behind it. Anyway please review and try to be nice. I hope I got it right.

Don't Make Me

Ziva POV

Cold cases, yuck this is the only thing I hate about my job as it is the most boring part, at least Gibbs is on a coffee run allowing my mind wander to something else. This something else is the person sitting on the opposite side of the bull pen to me, Anthony Dinozzo, or Tony as we call him. I would not say I am a shy person, actually I am very confident, but when I think about or see Tony I get a strange feeling in my stomach. It is not a bad feeling though, just a feeling that I have never had before and I have brought it down to one emotion. Love.

"Zee-vah, you are staring at me" Tony suddenly speaks up

"What? No I am not" But I feel some heat in my cheeks as I say this.

"Yes you are, you are also concentrating on something. Wait you aren't planning on torturing me are you"

All I do is pick a paperclip and smirk at him. Just then Gibbs walks back into the bull pen so it is back to work.

Tony POV

As soon as Gibbs leaves the bull pen for his regular coffee run I immediately notice a change is Ziva's posture. It is scary to think we are that tuned into each I notice her every move. I mean look at her; her thick wavy curls that cascade down her back and her chocolate eyes that can display her thoughts. I just love those eyes, but it is personality that I love the most. Wait!!! I just used love twice in one sentence, what is happening to me. She would never go out with someone like me, let alone have a serious relationship with. As I look up at her I see her staring at me with a look of contemplation on her face, which is kind of scary.

"Zee-vah" I stretch out her name like I normally do "Your staring at me"

"What? No I am not"

But I see her start to blush. Wait did I see our tough ninja girl blush, that must be a mistake. So I try to dig a bit deeper.

"Yes you are, you are also concentrating on something. Wait you aren't planning on torturing me are you" I was actually scared about her answer to this as I see her pick a paperclip and point it at me. As usually Gibbs has the best timing as he marches back into the bull pen.

Later that Day

Ziva POV

I had been having an internal battle all day, seeing as today was Ari's birthday he was meant to be 35 today and tonight I didn't want to be alone. Tonight was the night I was going to do three different things; firstly I was going to invite Tony for dinner which is not uncommon, secondly I was going to tell him the truth about Ari, because the Ari they knew was different to the one I knew and thirdly I was going to tell him my feeling.

It was three o'clock and Gibbs had given us permission to leave as Abby was hanging around his desk bored. McGee was doing well whatever he does with his computer while Tony and I immediately packed up. Thank god it was Friday, without a case running we actually had the weekend off which was a rarity in itself. As we were waiting by the lift I decided now was the perfect time for my invitation.

"You doing anything interesting tonight" I ask Tony

He spins to me "No, unless you wanted to do something" he replies

"How about you come over I will cook dinner, you bring a movie yes"

"Sounds good to me"

We both exit the lift and are about to separate to our cars

"What time?" he asks

"19:00" I reply "Oh and sweats will be fine"

"Sure thing, see you soon sweet cheeks"

"yes my hairy butt"

19:00 that night

As I am cooking I am thinking of ways to tell my co worker how Ari was actually my brother then depending on his reaction my feelings for him. As I am thinking of different ways to tell my partner my MOAS I hear somebody behind me in the kitchen. As I go to grab the knife I was cutting the veggies with the person speaks and I instantly relax.

"I know you may sometimes want to kill me, but I am lovable most of the time right?"

"Tony you know perfectly well not to sneak up on me like that"

"Hey but it is fun, I actually got to sneak up on our ninja girl."

All I can do is sigh, as I serve up the dinner I decide just before the movie I will tell him about Ari and go from there.

After I washed up our dinner plates I walked in to Tony putting on the DVD and grabbing the remote getting ready to start.

As he sits on the couch I sit down next to him and grab the remote off him. He is just about to question me but doesn't end up speaking because he notices my nervous express.

"Tony I had a reason why I invited you over tonight, specifically tonight and please don't interrupt while I tell the whole story."

"Ok" he replies giving me a look that makes my stomach swirl

"Ok, as you know I had a sister who died in a suicide bombing while we were young yes. What I didn't tell you is that I also had a brother, well half brother he had a different mum to us but he did live with us most of my child hood."

I pause to look at Tony before I continue

"My brother was the closest family I had after my sister died as my father was busy with Mossad and my mother had died a year earlier. When I joined Mossad my father knew my brother would watch my back and would keep me safe so we were partners. Five years after I joined Mossad officially, my brother had to go undercover, you see his mother was Arabic so he was to join a Hamas terrorist cell in America. Most people saw my brother as a professional in his work, but to me he was the one who cried when Tali died, he was the one I went to when I had my first boyfriend. He came to every dance recital, my father never saw one. He was my best friend and I really loved him. That was until we has intelligence that he had turned rogue on Mossad and was supporting Hamas in his heart. I was his control officer."

I could see that Tony was starting to put two and three together.

"Tony my brother, the only family member I has left who I truly loved" by this time I had tears rolling down my face.

"Tony my brother was Ari Haswari and it wasn't Gibbs who killed him that night. It was me" I was actually sobbing now.

Tony just sat there silently and you could see his mind going 100 miles an hour with his thoughts. Next thing I knew he placed his arms around me and allowed me to sob into his shoulder.

"Its ok Zi you aren't responsible for your brothers actions he was and he hurt you by what actions you had to take."

"So you don't hate me? Even though he killed Kate"

"No I don't, now come on lets watch his movie. At least it is a comedy to cheer you up."

After watching Hot Fuzz with Tony, I decided that it had the worst police force ever I mean who has ever seen that many mistakes in their life. Anyway it is just a movie as Tony reminded me. We were sitting there as the credits rolled in when Tony picked the remote off the coffee table, the remote was sitting on a book.

"What is this?" he asked after switching off the TV

I reached to grab for it, when he opened it but he held it out of my reach.

"May I?" he questioned

So we sat there flipping through my childhood memories. On the first page is a photo of three kids sitting on the stairs of a mansion and one with a boy carrying his younger sister bridal style across the backyard laughing, when my eyes started to water and I quickly wiped them before he could see.

"The first is Tali, Ari and I on the front steps of home on my 10th birthday so Ari was 18 and Tali was 6." I told Tony before he could ask. "The second is when Ari was 20 and I was 12, this was taken after I managed to sneak up on him and through a bucket of water on him. He was then carrying me over to the pool to through me in. This is the Ari I like to remember. My older caring brother who would threaten anyone who attempted to hurt me and cared for me my entire childhood. He was my best friend."

I actually started sobbing this time and instead of being yelled at for showing weakness, Tony just put his arms around me till I cried myself to sleep.

After a while I woke when I felt a set of strong arms placing me in my bed and the bed dip beside me as Tony hopped in as well. When he was in I felt his lips on my cheek.

"Love you" Tony whispered to me as he saw my eyes close again

"Me too" I whispered back

Don't Make Me by Blake Shelton

Girl when I look at you
You look through me
Like I'm not even there
I try not to give up, to be strong but
I'm afraid to say I'm scared
I can't find the place
Your heart is hiding
I'm no quitter but I'm tired of fighting

Baby I love you
Don't want to lose you
Don't make me let you go
Took such a long time
For me to find you
Don't make me let you go
Baby I'm begging please
And I'm down here on my knees
I don't want to have to set you free
Don't make me

What if when I'm long gone
It dawns on you
You just might want me back
Let me make myself clear
if I leave here
It's done; I'm gone, that's that
You carry my love around
Like it's a heavy burden
Well I'm about to take it back
Are you sure it's worth it

(Don't make me)

Baby I'm begging please
And I'm down here on my knees
I don't want to have to set you free
Don't make me

Baby I love you
Don't want to lose you
Don't make me let you go

Don't make me
Stop loving you

(Don't make me)

Stop needing you

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