I do not own Pokémon or any of the other real life things mentioned here.

Leave Eevee alone!

Danmit it happened again!
Every single freakin' time I go out for a walk one of those trainers try to catch me.
I mean its bad enough being a Pokémon as rare as an Eevee, but seriously a shiny Eevee?
Come on!
You may as well put a giant, luminous sign over my head that says "catch me now because you'll most likely never see another shiny again".

Uhhhh.
I just want a quiet, peaceful life in which trainers won't try to catch me every time I go outside!
I honestly ask you.
Is that really, truly, too much for an Eevee to ask?
And above all that I have to deal with my colour.
I may have had a much better life if my colour scheme didn't make me look like someone who had just magically stepped out of a silent film.

My dad was a shiny.
My mom says that I inherited my shininess from him.
She used to tell me stories about him.
About how a trainer caught him when I was still an egg.
About how they met when their two clans battled over whose turn it was to use the natural hot springs.
And of course how much of a jackass he was to ground types.
You'd think that a Jolteon would have more sense than to constantly taunt something that could quite easily beat the living crap out of him.
Then again mom says he never was the brightest light bulb in the power plant.
If her stories are true then in their first three years as a couple he was convinced that Mewtwo was a popular music group.

I just wish that there was a world with no humans that I could go and live in and be free of the constant fear of being captured.
A world where Pokémon for teams of crime fighting adventurers that go on mystical quests for magical treasures.
And where there's a town filled with wacky characters that own stores and give you missions.
But come to think of it that's too weird an idea to even be made into a child's video game.
Hmmm that's not a bad idea.
I would call it… destroy all humans.
Because there are no humans in it.

Well I guess I'd better go now, I think I hear a trainer coming this way.
But before I go however.
I do have one simple, little question.
Why the hell am I talking to myself.

-sigh-
I really need a girlfriend.