When we got back to the academy, I was put into the infirmary. It was supposed to be for a short check up, to check out my wrist and the bruises that covered my body. When the Doc asked about a particular bruise on my hip, I was almost embarrassed to say that it was from a door instead of from Spo- No. I couldn't say it. Still. I'd been told I could leave a while after, but I didn't. I'd locked the door, curled up in front of it, and just... sat. I'd cried so much on the way home, but it just wouldn't get out of my system. I cried about the first time he'd visited me here, in the infirmary, about the first time he'd been sent here, because of a concussion that I may or may not have caused. I cried for the time when he'd been so high on pain medicine that he'd told me he wished that unicorns were real, because they were really pretty, just like me. He said I'd be best friends with a unicorn, where it not for him and Liss. I remembered the time when I broke my wrist and he came into the room, sat on the end of my bed, and told me that I had to get better because he had no one to spar within our combat classes. The memories flowed back to me, and all the pain rushed back. I'd tortured myself with what if's, spending most of the time locked in my room. I hadn't spoken with anyone from, from there, until we'd gotten together to organize the funeral. His parents had asked me and Eddie (his two best friends and 'girlfriend') to help them, in respect to Mason. The priest would say some words (not many as he was not religious) then it was his parents turn. Last of all; me and Eddie. Going to meet his parents and the doctors was the most I'd done, the most I'd gone out, but now I had to face the crowds. No one had seen me for days; I hadn't even spoken to Dimitri. Lissa was the only contact I'd had, and I didn't really want that. I wanted him. I wanted to see him one more time, to say goodbye, to tell him I was sorry for all the times we'd fought, for leading him on, for him loving me when I couldn't return that love, because my heart began to a tall and sexy Russian that I could never be with. And most importantly; sorry I couldn't save him. "Why'd you come back?" I whimpered. "Why didn't you just get them safe?" Of course, I didn't get my answers. Looking at the mirror, I wiped away my make up, and stared at myself in the mirror. I was wearing a dress that he'd got me when we were 15, just before me and Lissa left. It was small and way too sexy for a funeral (he'd liked my legs and, uh, other parts of my body,) but I didn't care. It meant something to me, and to him. I had on blue shoes, because they were his favourite color. My door knocked, and I sensed Lissa. I met her outside, not making eye contact with Christian. Since the plane, where he'd passed out just after my thanks, I hadn't seen him. He looked better now; most of his injuries had been in the mental, magical way. He nodded at me, and I nodded back, fighting tears that threatened my eyes. We headed to the graveyard, but I had to go to the coffin room. Guardians lined the wall and I spotted Eddie. I gulped. Six of us would be carrying the coffin. Me and Eddie were leading them, and the other guardians consisted of Dimitri, Stan, Guardian Cox, and Alberta. Seeing his coffin I grabbed Eddies hand. Not in a boyfriend-girlfriend kind of way. Just to share our pain. Masons parents had taken seats outside, having already seen him. The others went first, stepping to line the walls one by one. Dimitri was in front of Eddie, who was in front of me. He said a few words in his Russian accent, and I heard my name. Then, he added something in Russian that sounded nice. Eddie stepped forwards. "Hey man." He said, letting go of my hand. "I'm sorry, I- I should have resisted the compulsion- kept my head. I don't even know the last thing I said to you." He leant forwards, right next to his ear. "I'll keep her safe man, don't worry, she'll be safe." Then he stood up straight, wiped his eyes, and stood next to Dimitri. The guardians gave him sweet looks, obviously hearing what he'd said. Normally, I'd have insisted that I could take care of myself. That I didn't need anyone's help. I was reminded of the time Mason had said he was honourable, and that saving damsels in distress was his thing. I stepped forward, my breath coming in short little gasps. "So now you've turned him too? He's become all honourable." I looked down. He looked like he normally did; cute, red haired, freckly. The only thing he'd lost was his look of...life. his adorable smile that lit up his face, the shine to his eyes. Scenes from his death replayed in my mind. Run, pale hands up, twist, crack, bang.
His body, dead on the floor, in my hands. The sword, me striking and striking the ground, leaving rugged lines.
"What am I supposed go on without you? How can I live?" My tears dripped down onto him, leaving little, wet patches on his shirt. It was his favourite, the one he'd worn to Christmas in the cabin. I pulled the little photo frame out of my pocket. "Here." I said, placing it between his still, cold, unmoving hands. I took one in my own, leaning to whisper in his ear as Eddie had done. Much like Eddie, I knew the others would hear me, but I didn't care. "I'll always love you." I said, kissing his fore head. "Bye Mase. I'll see you on the other side, if I ever get there." I whispered, pulling the dark wooden top down, wincing as it clicked closed. It was only a small sound, but it echoed, bouncing of the plain walls. I took my place on the right-front corner of the coffin, and lifted my head. The progression started. I walked to the slow tempo and gulped as all eyes turned on me. Big, badass, run-away Rose crying, a sight everyone wanted to see. I was surprised no one was videoing. Lissa grabbed my hand as I walked passed her, not saying anything through the bond. Not telling me it would be okay, not sending comforting thoughts. Just letting me feel the pain, helping me share it. I nodded and waked passed, to the front where we place the coffin on a raised table. Sniff's came from behind me, and I turned to find Mason's mother behind me. He looked a lot like her, and she took my hand as she cried. The priest stood up, blessing Mason's spirit or something like that. As I normally did at mass, I blanked most of it out. When his parents stood up, I listened in, but not as intently. Next was the closest Mason had to a mentor, the guardians that had walked with me and Eddie. Stan spoke first, explaining a lesson that I had missed while I was on 'vacation', where Mason had argued with Stan on a protective technique. I wish I'd been there, I thought. No, scratch that, I wished I'd been there every second. I wished- no. I wouldn't go into what I wished had happened, because it did no good. It just hurt. Dimitri and Albert stood up, smiling sadly at me and Eddie. Alberta told us all about another time I'd missed, only this time it was because I'd been in a different class "He was doing laps with the rest of the team, in just the first grade, and a few other guardians and I were working with them on their hitting skills. He was supposed to hit the pad, instead hitting me in the rib." I felt Eddie's hand tighten on mine. He knew what had happened. "It was surprisingly hard for a novice his age. After, he said to me; 'Sorry I hit you," she paused, smiling sadly at the memory, "And then he said; 'but it's alright. Because my mommy says guardians are tough. And you're a guardian, so you're tough. When I'm older, I'm going to be the best and toughest guardian in the world.' And then he waddled away on his bruised knee up to Eddie, and asked him if he was going to be a tough guardian." She looked down, stepping back so that Dimitri could talk.
"I first met this brave guardian when I came to the academy." He said, in his accented voice and looking at me. "I didn't train with him much, but he was dedicated and smart. I got to know this young guardian when I started mentoring Rose. This Christmas, we ate together. While we were eating, he turned to me, and asked me if he'd help me train when it came to trials. If I'd mentor him." He looked at me again, and I knew once again no one noticed. "He really was dedicated, yet like a true guardian he managed to still enjoy himself. He would have been a great guardian." He stopped talking and stepped back. He barely ever spoke that much, and he'd probably had to be convinced by Alberta and the rest of the guardian gang. "I can't." I whispered to Eddie, realising it was my turn to go up. "We have to. For him. Come on Rose, just walk up to the stand." He pulled on my hand. I passed Dimitri as I walked, and almost shook my head at his stoic warrior face. If I hadn't known him so well I might have fallen for it. But I could see the pain. He was in pain for the loss of Mason, but there was something more, that even I couldn't understand. I walked past him, and onto the podium. "Hi." I said as me and Eddie faced the silence of the audience. I looked at Eddie. He coughed. "I've known Mase for my whole life. He's my best friend, uh, was." Someone in the audience sniffed. "He... he was great. At, like, everything. He used to help m with my math homework, telling me that one day he wouldn't help and I'd get really stuck. And, when we were in 10th grade, just before he told me he was going to ask Rose out, I had to ask him for some help with our training classes, he didn't give me any hassle. He just helped me and then gut-punched me." Tears rolled down his cheeks. He was one of the only guy's I've ever seen cry. His face was twisted in pain, and as I looked out I realized so was everyone in the audiences. Even the tough looking guardians were sad, checking the shadows as well as hiding their pain. I gulped, and stepped up to the microphone, not that I needed it. As Mase liked to constantly remind me, I had a big mouth. "I came here, prepared to tell you about times with Mase before Spokane." My voice cracked, and I heard a few people in the audience gasp. Face your fears, I told myself. "But I can't. Maybe I could tell you about how brave he was, how cocky he was- in a good way. But no. I'm going to tell you about how he was in Spokane." The silence was nerve racking. "The guardians try to teach us what it's like out there." My eyes automatically looked over to where Dimitri stood. "And they do the best job they can. But it's not enough. Even when me and Liss ran away-" maybe telling them my bad past wasn't the best thing I could do, "That still didn't help. But even with the little experience with the real world, he was brave. He- he put us before himself, even when the strigoi were at their worst." I breathed a deep breath, channelled Dimitri and my mom, and looked at Eddie. "He came back for me. Stupidly, he came back. He wanted to save us all, no matter what." And then we sat down, and threw mud on his six-foot-deep coffin when the time came. It was the most I'd cried in my entire life.