A/N: I had intended this to be the start of a series of smut filled fantasy based chapters, but I feel like this is where this one ends. Not sure if I will pursue the fantasy thing, it's not my intention to do so right now, not anymore, but maybe I will change my mind in the future. Apologies if either fantasy mentioned makes you uncomfortable.
Sweaty they peel their bodies from one another. Panting Olivia lays on her back arms outstretched, one landing over Rafael's chest feeling the quick pace of his heartbeat as it fought to slow down.
Turning his head Rafael takes in Olivia's appearance, smiling he takes her hand from his chest and lifts it to his lips. He rolls to his side and props his upper body up, resting on his elbow, playing with her fingers he asks, "will you tell me what you fantasize about?"
Finally Liv's breathing evens out and she throws a confused glance his way, "you baby, I fantasize about you."
"That's not what I mean - well I mean - yes that is what I mean, it's just." Frustrated he pulls a hand down his face. "What do are we doing in your fantasies?" She raises an eyebrow, he rolls his eyes, "tell me something you've always fantasized about and never asked anyone for."
Smiling widely Olivia scoots her body so she is slotted into him, "ooh you trying to get kinky with me?"
A rumbling laugh rolls through his chest, "I don't know, are your fantasies kinky?"
Liv bites her lip, hesitant. Her silence isn't worrisome to him but he wants to assuage any anxiety she might have with sharing something like this. They may be married but sexual desires, especially ones that have stayed inside for so long, can take a big leap to tell someone.
"Would it help if we switched off, you tell me one of yours and I tell you one of mine?" Raf asks her softly.
Still biting her lip Liv nods, then blowing out a puff of a breath she looks him in the eye, "well, I guess one thing I've always wondered about is," she bites down on her lip hard before nodding once, "I never had the courage to admit to anyone that I did actually want to try having anal sex, I've always wondered what it would feel like. I had some men ask me for it but… I wasn't comfortable with them."
By the time she finishes speaking Olivia's eyes are lowered but she peeks at Rafael through her lashes. Rafael isn't moving much, though, his heart rate has increased once again and the hand the has been caressing Liv's back starts to move after a few moments.
Groaning Rafael glides his hand down her spine to her backside and he palms the smooth skin there, "fuck Liv, is that, do you," he huffs, "I'm perfectly happy to help you fulfill this with you."
Pressing her face into his chest she laughs then looks back at him, "oh how very kind of you to do me such a favor, I hope it won't be too much of a hardship for you."
Rafael brings his hand to Olivia's cheek and his eyes soften, "thank you for being honest with me Liv, and if it makes you feel any better I never had the guts to ask any woman I slept with to try, so I guess there's a first time for everything." His eyebrows quirk as he finishes.
Putting a hand to his chest Liv rests her chin on top of it, "alright mister, I believe we made a deal," she pokes his side to alleviate the last of the tension she feels in herself.
Rafael on the other hand feels some tension grip his muscles, "okay, I have never wanted to do this, never even thought about it before I met you," it's Rafael's turn to bite his lip and look at her through his lashes, "I want you to…" he trails off.
Liv runs the hand the isn't under her chin into his hair and strokes through it, allowing the brown and silver strands to tinkle her fingers, "go on tell me." Her voice is low and soothing.
"Promise not to think I'm a perv?" Raf seems almost bashful in his approach.
Grinning out of one side of her mouth Olivia leans into him and kisses Raf slowly, before hooking a pinky with his, "I promise Rafa."
Before he loses his courage Rafael says, "I want you to sit on my face while I eat you out."
Liv pushes her pelvis into the side of his hip involuntarily, moaning out loud, "god Raf if I weren't so legless from my last orgasm I would push you down and do that right now."
Hearing that Rafael pulls Liv into a ferocious kiss, nipping and sucking at her bottom lip before pushing his tongue into her mouth. "You're the perfect woman for me Olivia." The heat in his gaze is nothing new to Liv but she certainly isn't tired of seeing him so attracted to her.
"And you're the perfect man for me Rafael," she kisses him over and over until they are both breathless.
Pulling back Raf rests his forehead on Liv's, "I want to do everything I can to please you completely."
Olivia knows Rafael can get insecure sometimes, he gets worried that she doesn't know how much he loves her, that he was somehow not enough. She doesn't think anything could be further from the truth.
Placing her hands at either side of his head Olivia moves Rafael away from her so she can get a good look at him, "look at me Rafa," he listens, "you completely please me I promise you that. And I don't just mean in the bedroom. You are an amazing man, husband, and father. I love you so much, more than I have ever loved anyone, please don't think that just because I haven't shared all my deepest darkest desires with you doesn't mean I'm not in this all the way. There's nothing of mine that you can't have okay?" Her thumbs run along the top curve of his ears.
He sees the sincerity in her eyes but can't help but retreat at the feelings that consume him when it comes to her sometimes, "so does that mean you have other deep dark desires you're not telling me about?" There is a shit eating grin on his face now.
Frowning Liv shakes her head, "don't do that Rafael, don't hide from me." They are so close to one another she is almost cross eyed looking at him but Olivia won't let Rafael break eye contact with her.
Sighing Rafael maintains the eye contact he knows she wants from him, "I'm sorry, some of these feelings are just so big that I'm afraid you're going to be afraid of them. There's nothing of mine that isn't yours either. That especially includes my heart. I love you. I love you so much it frightens me, but even more than that it fills me with this amazing energy, this whole new outlook that I didn't have until I found you. I never want to lose that, to lose you. So sometimes I hold back thinking that's the right thing to do to keep you. Forgive me?" His eyebrows are pinched together as he begs her forgiveness.
Her teeth lightly graze the tip of his nose, "always." Liv presses a chaste kiss beside his nose, "and for the record Rafa, you don't scare me. Neither do your feelings. I haven't ever felt like this before either, but I need you to know that just because you don't always voice what you're feeling or thinking, I know, I feel it.
"I never want to lose you either, and if takes me telling you that and reminding you how much I love you until one of is dead then that's exactly what I'll do. You're too important to me for you not to know what you mean to me."
Olivia pushes her hands flat to Rafael's shoulders and pulls his weight on top of her own, wrapping her legs around him and pressing her lips to his ears, "I love you Rafael Barba, I don't want to lose you." She makes a mantra of saying this in his ear.
Rafael laughs and takes her thighs in hand, "I love you too you crazy woman, now can we get some sleep, I do believe one of us has to drive our son to school in the morning."
Though she is sleepy Olivia still has some playfulness left in her, "you say the sexiest things Mr. Barba."
"Only for you Mrs. Barba." Rafael untangles his wife from around his body and settles her on her side so he can curl up behind her, "I love you Liv."
Her eyes have closed already and she is somehow near sleep in the moments it has taken Raf to find a comfortable position, "I love you too Rafa," she mumbles.
A/N: I was so tempted to have Raf say "I was afraid that you'd be afraid [if I told you that I was afraid of intimacy!]" ('Therapy' from Tick Tick Boom a show Raul was in.) but I resisted. My mind is basically a collection of quotes and references and almost nothing else. Like I said, I think this is a good place to end this.
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