Author's Note: Hi guys! This is just a short one shot, intended to be funny. I hope you have as much fun reading it as I did coming up with the concept of it. It has been inspired by a really weird Reddit thread I was part of.
Disclaimer: I own no part of the Potterverse, nor am I making any money from this story
"Potter!" Snape snarled. "Five points from Gryffindor."
Harry glared at the potions professor over his steaming cauldron.
"For what?" he snapped.
"That attitude," Snape replied, simply.
Harry looked around to Ron, to see that he was as bewildered as himself.
"I've been getting on with my work!"
It was true. The potion they were working on was a particularly difficult brew, and the last thing Harry wanted was to mess it up and give Snape an excuse to give him detention. He now felt that he needn't have bothered.
"Are you answering back, Potter?" Snape's lip curled.
"No!" Harry responded quickly.
"That's another five points from Gryffindor. Be grateful that it isn't more."
With that, Snape carried on perusing the other students' cauldrons. Harry's eyes were burning a hole in the back of the professor's head, when he noticed Malfoy and his cronies giggling together at Harry's plight.
The anger boiling inside of him was unlike anything he'd felt before. He knew Snape hated him, even if he didn't know why. He'd accepted that before the end of his first week at Hogwarts, and tried his best to not give him an excuse to pay him any attention. It never worked out that way, of course. But to humiliate him in front of the Slytherins took the biscuit.
When class ended, Harry stormed out of the dungeons, with Ron and Hermione practically jogging to keep up.
In the Gryffindor common room, Harry paced up and down, ranting.
"Where does that greasy git get off, taking points for nothing?!"
"Are you sure you didn't say anything to provoke him earlier in the class?" Hermione asked, diplomatically.
"Why would I?" Harry snapped. "Why would I want to give him an excuse to give me detention?"
Hermione knew better than to point out that that had never been a consideration before.
Harry still felt anger bubbling under the surface at dinner that evening. He'd glanced up at the staff table on the way in to the Great Hall, and seeing Snape smirking almost set him off into another rant.
"What's got his wand in a knot?" Fred asked Ron as they took their seats.
Ron relayed the story, as Harry looked as though he wanted to murder the beef joint in front of him.
"Slimy git," Fred said, staring daggers at the potions master.
"Want us to drop a Nosebleed Nougat in his pumpkin juice?" George offered.
Harry and Ron laughed for the first time since before the earlier potions lesson, whilst Hermione gasped and told them in no uncertain terms that she could not condone that kind of behaviour.
As the trio and the twins left the Great Hall, they ran into Malfoy and his cronies, Crabbe and Goyle, in the Entrance Hall,.
"Lost any more points for Gryffindor yet, Potter?" he jeered.
Harry made to go after the Slytherin, but Ron and Hermione held him back, whilst Crabbe and Goyle stepped in front of their ring leader.
The evening in the Common Room went much more pleasantly, as Ron and Harry took on the twins at Exploding Snap, whilst Hermione read a book on Miranda Goshawk, the author of The Standard Book of Spells.
Before heading up to bed, George handed a folded piece of paper to Harry, whispering "Next time Malfoy gives you grief, use this on him."
Harry unfolded the parchment, with a spell he'd never heard of scrawled onto it.
"What does it do?" Harry asked.
"Wait and see when you use it," Fred replied.
Harry felt a little apprehensive using a spell he didn't know the outcome to, but stuffed the parchment in his pocket nonetheless.
The next few weeks passed without incident, and the parchment on which George's spell was written lay forgotten on Harry's night stand, crumpled from being in his pocket for several days. The apprehension he initially felt on being handed the spell had faded into burning curiosity.
The opportunity to use the spell presented itself one dull Friday afternoon, in the corridor outside the potions classroom.
Harry had forgotten about the incident from a few weeks ago, and feeling somewhat relaxed as it was the last lesson of the term before Christmas, even if it was Potions with his least favourite professor.
Strolling to the classroom, as they had made good time from their previous Charms class, Harry and Ron were sharing a joke about dragon taming. Harry didn't notice Malfoy lolling against the wall of the corridor. He didn't notice the smirk on Malfoy's face. And he certainly didn't notice the extended leg placed in his path.
Malfoy spluttered as laughter rang out from the other Slytherins in the corridor. Harry lay on the ground feeling humiliated and anger coursed through him, almost apoplectic with rage as he quickly got back to his feet, ignoring the pain in his left knee, ignoring the grazes on his hands.
"Stupefy!" he yelled at Malfoy, who lazily blocked it before attempting to disarm Harry.
Harry had been ready for a spell coming back though, and also used Protego.
"Oh Potter, you're not very good at this duelling business are you?" Malfoy drawled.
Suddenly Harry remembered the spell the twins had given him a few weeks prior.
"Pectus Engorgio!"
Taken aback by the spell he'd never heard before, Malfoy didn't have time to cast a block and ducked out of the way just as Professor Snape rounded the corner.
The effects of the spell happened almost instantly, as Snape's chest began swelling into a pair of large breasts.
However, it seemed the curse had no limit. The anger on Snape's face was worse than Harry had ever seen; whilst other students in the corridor couldn't control their laughter, Harry wished the floor would swallow him up.
Snape bared down on Harry, grabbing the back of his neck, as his breasts threatened to burst out of his teaching robes, the seams being stretched to breaking point.
"Counter curse. Now!" he barked at Harry.
When no answer was forthcoming, the professor dragged Harry away.
"No one is to leave this corridor until I return; anyone who does will be subject to detention for the rest of their school career," he commanded as he climbed the stairs back out of the dungeon, Harry still in his grip.
Harry assumed they were going to see the school nurse, Madam Pomfrey, so was surprised when they stopped outside Professor Dumbledore's office.
When they entered the headmaster's office, Dumbledore was reading a very old looking tome. Snape's breasts had by now popped the seams on his teaching robes, and undershirt. Dumbledore only glanced up when Snape cleared his throat. The headmaster could not suppress a laugh.
"Oh, Severus, you didn't tell me you were planning surgery," he remarked through his mirth. "You should've said, I know a wonderful magical surgeon at St. Mungo's."
Snape's grip on the back of Harry's neck tightened, and his lips were thinner than Harry had ever seen them.
"I need a counter curse, Headmaster. And this little swine to be expelled." Snape uttered through clenched teeth.
"Expelled? Whatever for?" Dumbledore queried, innocently as Snape started to become weighed down by his evergrowing bosom.
By this point, Harry allowed himself to laugh at Snape's predicament. It seemed as though the only person who wasn't seeing the funny side was Snape himself, and he figured if the headmaster found it funny, he was unlikely to get into too much trouble.
"Headmaster," Snape growled.
"Oh ok," Dumbledore sighed resignedly. He waved his wand and the giant boobs began shrinking again. "If only I could conjure a sense of humour for you too. Let the boy go."
A/N I hope you enjoyed the story. I'm working on a more serious fic at the moment, and I hope to get that started on here in the next few weeks.
Also, I'm on social media:
/jgallowaywriter
Twitter: jgallowaywriter
Let me know what you think.