Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. Stephanie Meyer owns them :0)

R&R!!

Diary of a secret crush: Unrequited Love

At first sight

Diary one: Forks, Washington

Day one

I ate at the far end of the cafeteria eating by myself. Nobody seems to like me in this school, but who cares, its fine by me. I've been here since the morning, but all I keep getting were whispers and curious looks being directed at me.

Obviously the students of Forks High were all away when the teachers talked about subtlety. "That's her over there" I heard a hush whisper coming from another table. I bit my sandwich, feeling a little bit self conscious.

This is what you get if your father just happens to be a chief in a small town in the middle of no where. Everybody knows your name, and everybody seems to think that you are their business.

It was odd for me. All my life I've been studying in an all girls school, so I was use to seeing girls. But boys on the other hand…

I took another bite from my salad sandwich and slowly sank down my chair. Did they have to stare like that? I thought to myself. All of the pointed looks that people kept throwing my way was really starting to annoy.

Their probably wondering why I'm not trying to make friends with anyone. It's not my fault I'm an introvert. If you've been caged up in a school filled with girls, then obviously seeing people who mingles with the opposite sex will be quiet odd.

I watched from a far as a blonde cheerleader jumps on her boyfriend and tries to give him a wet kiss on the cheek but fails miserably. The footballer boyfriend just shrugged her off and said something rude to her which caused an uproar in the jocks table, earning him a high five and an angry punch on the shoulder from his girlfriend.

"Tyler! You are such a jerk!" she gave him one last punch and stalked off towards her table where all her friends either looked disgusted, or were giving her sympathetic looks.

See, that's what I don't get. I noticed that the girls in this small town all fell for these der brained jocks. I don't understand how they can just stand there and let their boyfriends treat them like shit in front of everyone.

I'm guessing it's because of the popularity, because let me tell you, Tyler was no looker. He had short cropped hair, and a face that was set on smirking mode all the time. Despite the fact that he had a good body, he had a nasty personality.

I've experienced it first hand this morning. I was walking to English when I felt the hair from behind my neck prickle, and I knew someone was right behind me. I kept walking, but I couldn't help noticing all of the smirks, and all of the laughing faces surrounding me. Then I realized who they were laughing at.

Me.

I turned around to find Tyler behind me doing obscene gestures which includes him getting sexual with my back. I just looked down and blushed fiercely. I kept walking to class, pass the people who just doesn't know when to shut up.

Nope, I don't like him at all.

I started to shred my napkin to pieces, trying to ignore everybody when I heard shuffling next to me, then a really pretty girl sat down.

She had black hair that spiked out in different directions. She sat there playing with her mobile phone, not realizing that the table was occupied by a loner. I just stared at her with wide eyes.

Then as if she just figured out my existence she gave me a side ways look, as if assessing me. I blushed furiously. I felt my self go red as a tomato, then she smiled.

"Sorry, hope you don't mind me sitting here" she said in a musical voice.

"Nah.. it's okay" I replied. She kept looking at me with the same mischievous smile, and I kept turning a deep red color.

"Aww you are soo cute! I like you already!" she squealed. I just sort of bowed my head. After all, how do I answer that?

"I'm Alice Cullen, your new aren't you? What's your name?" she said in that same soprano voice. But the thing is, she sounded genuinely excited.

So I blushed even more and tried to look her in the eyes, "I'm Bella Swan" oh boy, awkward much?

Alice just giggled and started talking. She was just so nice, I don't get how anyone can be so nice. Then she started asking me all of these questions about which school I came from, and whether I like Forks or not.

We were in the middle of chatting, and I was starting to warm up to Alice when I heard the cafeteria door opened. My breathe caught. Any minute I could just suffocate because of the sight in front of me.

Without warning, without as much as a thunder from the sky, there he was, like a meteor he crashed right in to my life. As soon as I saw that face, I knew that my life was never going to be the same again.

From where I sat with Alice he was the personification of perfect. His hair shone bronze from the little natural light that was coming out of the cafeteria window was in conflict, as if each and every strands are fighting each other, yet none would lay flat, his lean body held perfectly so he walked with a certain strut, but still looked graceful.

I felt my mouth start to water, so I quickly shut it before I made a complete ass of myself. As a diversion to stop myself from drooling, I busied myself by looking towards the other two guys who came in with them.

One of them was gigantic, with dark brown hair. His muscles showed with every move he took, I looked as he flexed his muscle towards the table of freshmen girls, I swear they looked like they were about to faint from embarrassment. I looked at the other guy, he was pretty tasty too.

He was leaner, but still well muscled, with a mop of blonde hair. The boy looked at the bigger one and just shook his head, as if to say 'what an idiot'.

"Show off" I heard Alice say. She rolled her eyes while I continued to ogle these weirdly beautiful batch of hunks.

Then as if he could sense my gaze, the blonde one turned towards me, giving me a rather blank look. He just stood there looking at me, and I kept looking back, because I couldn't get myself to look away.

The big one noticed that his friend's attention was no longer on him, so he followed his friends gaze then his eyes locked on mine.

Oh joy…

I looked down in a way hiding away from their gazes. "Oh shit…Alice.. Is it just me or are they looking at me?" I asked with a bit of panic in my voice. Alice just shrugged and grinned. "I think it's just you being paranoid, relax Bella!" she chuckled.

So I looked up, but then my eyes clashed with bronze haired boy's green ones. I felt like I was drowning, screaming for air. Then I quickly looked down.

I poked Alice on the side. "What?! I just wanted to see your reaction" she giggled.

I tried to hide my bright red face with my hair. I could still feel the heat of their gaze on me.

I think today is officially 'pick on Bella' day.

"Alice? Are they still looking?" I couldn't help my voice from turning high pitched.

"No, no, no they've gone already" she said shrugging. So I lifted my head up, but my eyes clashed with the big guy's gaze.

Oh crap, he started laughing. Then I looked at the bronze haired boy's face, I felt my mental string break; there he was looking beautiful looking at me like I'm some sort of a parasite who just crawled in his line of vision. He turned to sit with the rest of the jocks.

Go figure. Someone as beautiful as him could probably get away with treating a girl like shit, he was probably a dickhead anyway. oh what the heck, He was a drop dead gorgeous dickhead.

I sighed, a little too lost in my own little fantasies that I didn't notice that I actually sighed loudly. Loud enough for Alice to hear.

She turned sharply towards me, then she turned towards where Edward sat with all of his friends. As if understanding dawn on her, she started to shake her head.

"Unbelievable…you too? What is the world coming to?" she shook her head. I blushed but looked her in the eyes and said "Are you blind? I mean he is like a god!" which was pretty much the whole truth.

She just sort of looked at me as if to ask 'are you on crack?' but I ignored her pointed look.

"Sickening, I don't get the deal with all of you girls, I mean why HIM?" she asked disbelievingly. I thought about that for quiet a bit, thinking whether I should tell her the truth or lie. The truth seemed to win.

"Well come on, your saying that because it probably really easy for you. I mean if you wanted someone like Edward you could probably get him just like that!" I said snapping my fingers to make a point.

Alice was looking at me like I was on drugs again.

"what? It's true, I mean have you seen yourself in the mirror lately? Your hot! While you look at me, I'm plain, boring…I look like a librarian for god's sake!" which was totally true. I've never been so conscious of my hair and my pale skin which was far too ordinary. Compared to Alice, she would be Daphne from Scooby Doo, while I'm Velma. The geeky nerd with the glasses.

I sighed for the second time. I looked at Alice's face. It held a really odd look which I wasn't expecting, then she cracked up laughing, causing everybody to look at us, including the jock's table.

"Okay, okay Bella! Firstly, ewww! Never going to happen, secondly, ewwww, so don't even think about it!" by that time Alice already had tears in her eyes.

I frowned at her. She held up her hands as if to surrender. "alright alright, he's a hottie super bomb! Can we please get past that? Eww, because Edward is my brother" she said it so slowly. Then just to patronize me she spelt it one by one. "I get the idea!" I said huffily. But after a while, I started laughing too. "That would be pretty gross" I said between fits of giggles.

"What is?" Alice asked between fits of hysterical laughter.

"You and your brother!" then we both cracked up laughing. Then suddenly we both stopped laughing in unison and looked at each other.

"Ewww!"

After a while, we both came back down from fairy land. "Look Bella, I don't get it because everybody seems to fall in love with him. And to me, he's just this jerk that seems to change girlfriends the same way he changes his under wear. In other words, he's a grade A jerk. I mean don't get me wrong, as a brother he's awesome. He's always there to look after me and stuff, but I don't like the way he treats other girls.

"So my only advice would probably be to stay as far away from him. He eats girls like you for breakfast" she said sounding genuine.

In a way I sort of saw that coming, someone like him can't be any different from all of the other guys.

Anyway, I don't even know why I'm bothering. There's no way he can like somebody like me. I mean, my own parents didn't even want me around, that would explain why they got divorced and shifted me off to a boarding school.

I smiled to myself bitterly…That would be a different story. After all, I did leave behind a pretty angry teen somewhere in the boarding school. I came to Forks with the intention of starting all over again.

"So Bella, what class have you got next?" Alice asked, not noticing the sudden change in me. I snapped back to reality. "umm, theatre I guess" I mumbled. Alice just nodded.

I heard the bell go. I headed straight to my locker, but somebody was leaning on it. He was one of the people sitting on the jocks table. I noticed him before, since he was in my English class.

I stood there for a bit, waiting for him to move. But he was oblivious to my presence. So I coughed really loudly. He jumped slightly, then turned sharply towards me, his blonde hair styled oddly like the bronze haired boy.

He stood there smirking at me. "Ok Einstein, move, your standing right in front of my locker" I drawled lazily.

Usually I was intimidated by jocks, for some reason this guy just didn't impress or scare me.

"Say please!" he said mockingly.

I stared at him through narrowed eyes.

So I started nodding, having a fake smile on my face. "Can you PLEASE get the fuck off my locker?" I said my voice filled with sarcasm.

"Or what? You're going to attack me with your little smurf powers?" he said smirking. Just then my locker neighbor Jessica Stanley came, gave me a fake smile then wrapped her arms around the blonde guy's neck.

"Mikey are you flirting with that thing?" she said pointedly, flipping her hair out of her face.

I swear, people like these two deserve to be in the bottom of the deepest ocean, preferably somewhere where there's a lot of sea monsters.

When he finally got off my locker, I was undoubtedly late for theatre class. I walked through the hall way, still self conscious about all the stares I was getting. I opened the auditorium where we were to have our theatre class every week.

I was late, I hated to be late. I opened the door and was greeted by more curious looks and whispers. I bowed my head and headed straight to Ms. Culling and handed in a form that she needed to sign.

"Welcome to Forks High Miss Swan, please take the empty seat right next to Mr. Cullen" right like I really knew who Mr. Cullen was.

I gave her a blank look. Then she pointed towards the back where the bronze haired boy sat staring at nothing in particular.

This is going to be a long lesson.

"Ok class, before we can do anything else, we have to do a couple of exercises to gain each others trusts, so please pair up with whoever your sitting with" Ms. Culling said loudly, her voice echoing through out the auditorium.

Of course I blushed, right next to me was some one who was very much Edward-shaped.

Day 7

It has been such a long week. In between trying to get rid of Alice whenever she gets her shopping urges and drag me to Port Angeles, and trying not to look like an idiot in front of her brother. So far I'm not succeeding at all.

During that first day in theatre class I managed to drop him during the trust exercise, and trip over on the random flute lying on the ground.

Note to self: Find the moron who left the stupid flute on the ground and hunt him down.

Not only that, I'm pretty sure that Edward has already got me down as a mute. Which is just brilliant. Accident prone and a retard, what a beautiful trait huh?

But over all, I think this week has been alright, I mean it has been sufficiently awkward for most parts, but I am over everyone staring at me.

My home life wasn't any better. If Charlie wasn't at work, his eyes would be glued to the TV watching sports. I haven't exchanged any words with him what so ever.

This is going to sound weird but I somehow liked it when people kept looking at me. Embarrassing, I know. But I am so sick of being ignored that I just want to be noticed for once.

Anyway, I'm going down to the Cullen's today. Alice wanted me to come over to help her with her homework.

Day 7 (Later)

Alice is as good as dead! She told me to come over to help her with her homework, but it was just part of her insane plan to give me an extreme make over. Urgh! I'm too pissed to talk right now.

My hands are seriously shaking. This has got to be the most embarrassing day in the history of my personal little universe!

Hey guys, hope you like this…I wanted to give this a crack, you know having everyone as human, with normal human emotions lol. This is based on Twilight if you guys haven't noticed, based on Bella's first day and so on!!