So here is a quick little one shot based off The Life We've Chosen. I really hated seeing Alex and Nikita angry at each other so I wrote a fic where it all works out. Now this is my first Nalex fic so it may suck a little bit... sorry if it does, and of course there's some Salex thrown in as well. ENJOY!
Sean walked in to find Alex sitting on the bed with her head in her hands. He knew she'd had a hard time since her last mission. She couldn't save Larissa and it was slowly eating away at her. He knew how she felt, there'd been more than one SEAL mission that he went on when one of his teammates didn't come back, it would consumer her if she let it.
"Alex?" He asked cautiously, stepping towards her.
Alex lifted her head to look at him. "Hey" she said gently.
"Are you okay?" Sean asked, even though he already knew the answer.
"I don't know." She choked out. "I don't know."
Sean walked over and sat beside her. "Do you want to talk about it." She was about to protest when he put his hands up in front of him. "Believe it or not it does help." He told her.
"I should've saved her. I promised her and I didn't. I wasn't fast enough." Alex said tears stinging at her eyes.
"Alex you did everything-"
"Don't say that!" Alex cut him off. "I didn't! I should've found a way to do better. I should've helped her." Alex said the tears finally spilling over.
Sean wrapped his arms around her as she cried into his chest. Alex relaxed into his strong arms as she clutched his shirt. "It's going to be okay Alex. I promise." He said.
"It's not fair." She mumbled into his chest.
"I know it's not." He said kissing her head.
After a few more minutes Alex had finally calmed down an stopped crying. Sean gently lay her sleeping form on the bed as he walked away and quietly shut the door behind him. He went straight to Ops and immediately found the person he was looking for.
"Nikita!" He called jogging over to where she and Owen were standing.
"Hey Sean. What's up?" She asked him.
"I need to talk to you, about Alex." He told her.
Owen looked between the two of them before excusing himself and leaving the two alone.
"I don't think she wants to talk to me right now." Nikita said, a hint of sadness lining her voice.
"Nikita, she's really shaken up over what happened. I've tried helping her but there's only so much I can do. She needs you. She needs her mom." Sean told her.
The few times he'd talk to Alex about Nikita she always described her as a mother figure. Even after she'd found out her real mother was still alive Sean had noticed that whenever they weren't on duty Alex almost always called Nikita 'mom' and very rarely by her first name.
Nikita studied him. She loved Alex like a daughter and everyone knew that, but after what happened in South Ossetia she didn't think she was the person Alex wanted to see. She wasn't angry at Alex, she was angry at her self for letting Ari die and she wrongfully took that anger out on Alex.
"You're always going to be her mom Nikita. What happened isn't going to change that." Sean said genuinely.
"Where is she?" She asked wanting to make sure she was okay.
"She's asleep in our room. Don't think she'll be asleep long though." Sean said mentioning the room in Division that he and Alex now shared after his death had been faked.
"I'll see you later." Sean said walking away.
Nikita stood there for a moment before heading off in the direction of Alex and Sean's room. Knocking gently on the door she pushed it open to see Alex sleeping on the bed, tears tracks still glistening on her cheeks.
"Alex?" Nikita asked sitting on her bed.
"Nikita?" She asked rubbing her eyes and sitting up. "What's wrong?" She asked when she saw her mentors face.
"Sean told me you were having a difficult time."
Alex tensed. "He shouldn't have said anything. I'm fine."
Nikita frowned. "Alex we both no that's not true. None of us are ever really fine. You know you can talk to me."
Alex looked at Nikita and she instantly let her guard down. "I should have done more to save her. She had lost everything. Her husband, her daughter. And I couldn't even help her get her own life back." Alex said sadly.
Nikita watched Alex. She seemed so defeated in her explanation. "I'm sorry I didn't help you." Nikita said meekly. "I was so focused on my own mission I forgot that you were there too." Nikita told her.
"It's okay." Alex to her.
"No. It's not. I should have been there for you. I don't want to go through what happened last year." Nikita said, knowing Alex wouldn't need any explanation as to what she was talking about.
"What's wrong?" Nikita asked when she saw Alex's face deflate.
Alex took a breathe "It's just, every time I think I get a hold on one part of my life, another one slips away. We finally take down Division and I lose Sean, I get Sean and I lose you." Alex said tears once again stinging at her again. "I can't lose you again." Alex said desperately.
Nikita smiled. "You're not going to lose me." She said wrapping her arms around Nikita.
"I love you mom." Alex whispered.
"I love you too." Nikita said holding her close.
They had disagreed on something, and chances are it wouldn't be the last time. But at least they knew they'd always have each other.
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