I want to thank Scorpia11 from the bottom of my heart while fighting the Flu of 2019 to look this over giving those extra eyes and wonderful suggestions. Thank you for all your help. Hope you enjoy this newest version. I only asked her to look it over once so any mistakes are now all on me. I like the idea of Scorpius Malfoy and Lily Luna Potter as a couple. I think that a comedic romance between Harry's only daughter and Draco's son is great Karma for their childhood opposition with one another. Please let me know what you think, good, bad, or indifferent. I only grow when I know…

A Proper Lady

Harry and Ginny Potter sat visiting with their longtime friends. Ron and Pansy Weasley, who connected shortly after the war when Pansy came into the joke shop to buy a gag gift for Draco Malfoy's birthday. Ron thought it would be great fun to help take the piss out of Malfoy while he helped her with her purchases. He asked her to dinner before she left the shop that day and they have been together ever since. Their twins, Hugo Arthur and Emily Astra, were in their final year at Hogwarts. The other couple sitting on a tiny loveseat was Draco and Hermione Malfoy. Hermione reconnected with Draco when she aided with a charity event being held by Draco and his late wife, Astoria Malfoy, nee Greengrass. Draco and Astoria had one son together, Scorpius Hyperion. Astoria passed away when Scorpius was two. Hermione had grown close to Astoria and her young son during the younger witch's sickness; Hermione did her best to help both Malfoy men through the devastating loss. Three years later Draco and Hermione, after much denial about their feelings, married. They had one child, a daughter, Lyra Rose, who was currently the top student among fifth years at Hogwarts.

Ginny was telling a story from when she played Quidittch for the Harpies when the floo alerted everyone to the arrival of her youngest daughter, Lily Luna. Lily burst through as all eyes locked on the young red headed girl as she rushed toward the stairs which caused her mother to yell, "Hey! What's your hurry?"

Lily paused momentarily to wickedly acknowledge her mother, "Oi, sorry… hello everyone. I have to run as there's a bloody snake after me. If he catches up let's just say my death will be by his hands and immediate; seeing as death by wand would be considered merciful."

Lily turned to flee but before she placed one toe on a step the floo activated once more, surprising everyone as Scorpius Malfoy not Albus Potter came through still yelling at her, "and another thing you little red headed Leprechaun stop terrorizing my house elf!"

Lily turned bright red as she rounded on the git, "Leprechaun? Do I look lucky to you?"

Stepping closer he folded his arms over his broad chest stating, "No, you're far from being lucky, but on the other hand, you're well versed in trickery. You seem to think you can just come into my home whenever you wish, unannounced no less, transfigure my furniture, shrink my bed, hide my clothes, and terrorize my elf all without consequence!"

"Lily Luna, you didn't?" Harry asked incredulously.

Pansy gleefully stated, "This is why we hang out at your house. Something interesting is always going on over here."

Without missing a beat Lily answered her father proudly, "Of course I did, but it's his fault. Him and that precious little creature he calls a house elf deserved everything I did." Lily turned back toward Scorpius as she waved her hands. "Really, a few spice labels and pepper for Godric's sake, you can't handle pepper you over priced dressed son-of- a-Slytherin-snake?! No offense, Mr. Malfoy." She stated sweetly as she smiled at Draco.

"How can I possibly take offense to that comment? He is the son-of-a-Slytherin-snake; two actually." Draco shook his head when he glanced to Harry as if to ask if he understood what was going on between their children. Harry looked just as confused.

Scorpius stalked over to Lily calmly as he could before stating, "I can handle anything you dish out, princess. How's your kitchen catching fire mine or Dizzy's fault?"

At the mention of fire all the adults spoke at once. Harry jumped to his feet, "What fire?"

Ginny screamed, "Are you okay?"

Ron's voice dipped in concern, "When did this happen?"

Hermione and Pansy both exclaimed, "What?"

Draco sided with Lily, "Scorpius, what did you do?"

Lily ignored their questions before she stepped into Scorpius' personal space, "You, Malfoy, are nothing but a little whiney baby! One would think that a wizard of twenty-three could just wave a wand and undo all the harmless shite I did."

He closed the distance between them speaking to her through gritted teeth, "Call me little one more time, you miniature fire fairy. I assure you if you're talking of my height; I'm damn near a foot taller than you. If you're referencing any other region of my body, don't knock the quality of the wood until you've ridden the broomstick!"

"Oi, wait what? She most certainly will not be doing that" Harry exclaimed as Ginny shook her head and patted her husband's back lovingly.

"Bloody hell, I've not seen this much tension between two people since Hermione and Draco." Ron commented and all the other adults agreed, minus Harry.

Lily rolled her bright green eyes at him as she explained, "I don't have time for a search and rescue mission, Malfoy. If you hadn't sent that bleeding creature feature to my home and I quote 'to teaches you hows to be a proper lady'." She closed her eyes tightly in an attempt to calm her temper and missed his confused expression. After a minute she looked up at him and asked, "What does that even mean? Is that what you really think?" Shaking her head in disbelief she continued, "Anyway, I wouldn't have been distracted from what I was working on. My kitchen wouldn't have caught fire. I most certainly wouldn't have had to listen to that pint size troll dropping tell me my lack of concentration and mismanagement of time would be better served to something more 'lady like'! When in the hell am I not a bloody lady, you fork tongued Jackhole?!"

As soon as the words fell from her lips Harry covered his mouth, Ginny buried her face in his shoulder while Ron and Pansy laughed straight out. Hermione tried not to react but spit her tea out and slapped Draco's shoulder as he murmured, "A lady embodied as always, I see."

Scorpius stared at Lily's inquisitive expression with his hands resting on his hips. When he didn't respond she snapped, "Are you going to answer me?"

Scorpius raised his eyebrows while he choked, "Oh, Gods, that was a real question? Did you even hear the way you asked me that?"

Lily stomped her foot as she shoved him with all her strength. When he didn't budge, she tried a second time, growling when he didn't move. On her third attempt he grabbed her wrists, pulled her flush against him, "I am not James or Al. I will not cower to you."

Harry stood to help his daughter when Ginny grabbed his arm and shook her head then made him to sit back down just as Lily ripped her wrists free as she abruptly slapped Scorpius across his face, leaving a bright red print the size of her palm. Her eyes, along with everyone else, grew wide with surprise at her actions. She watched as he shook with anger, restraint evident in his piercing eyes. However, like Scorpius, she refused to back down. "Fuck you, Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy! Fuck you and your idea of a 'proper lady'!" With that she took the small opportunity to pass by him heading to the floo before shouting, "Malfoy London Estate!"

Scorpius blanched yelling, "Oh, hell no not fucking again!" He turned on his heel headed toward the floo only to feel two sets of hands on him, his father and Harry Potter.

Calmly Harry suggested, "Give her time to cool off. She'll come around."

Draco guided his son into the room fully where everyone else was seated. Pansy asked her nephew, "What in the name of Merlin was that all about?"

Scorpius felt his stepmum rubbing tiny circles on his back like she had when he was younger. He took a moment to let the calm wash over him. "I've honestly no idea. I came home early today to find Dizzy crying her eyes out saying how she failed me and wanted to iron her ears, but she knew I have told her to never ever harm herself. My living room furniture had been reconfigured, my bed was made pocket travel size, and Lily was in my kitchen magically adding pepper to everything cooking on the stove while she relabeled all the spices in my pantry. When I asked her what was going on she explained, while smiling no less, that she was repaying me for her kitchen burning down and setting that pointed-ear Lucius Malfoy of an elf on her."

Pansy shrugged saying, "You know how to fix this right? Close your bloody floo to her."

"I could, Aunt Pansy, except I think that would get my chestnuts roasted faster than whatever this mess is. I just for the life of me have no—Fuck!" Scorpius stood and began to pace.

"Scorpius," Hermione said in a voice that reminded him of when he was little and in trouble, "what did you do and could Albus be involved as well?"

Scorpius looked to his father, "This, this is YOUR fault! You went and hired her for your Gala next week."

Draco turned toward his son with a perplexed expression and narrowed gaze, "I suggest you CAREFULLY explain how this is my entire fault after you and I'm certain your best mate managed to piss off my favorite Potter."

"I don't have time. I have to go Aveda your third favorite Potter!" Scorpius replied in a rush as he made for the floo and disappeared in the roar of green flames.

Ginny looked at Draco after the flames died and asked, "You have my family numbered as favorites?"

"Of course, I do. Lily is my favorite" he began ticking them off his fingers as he spoke, "then you Ginerva, Albus, after him Harry and finally, my least favorite...James. No, I'm not ashamed to admit it as I can't endure being in the same room as your oldest for more than ten minutes."

While at Albus Potter's flat…

Albus Potter was leaning back in his recliner reading over a few new client contracts when he heard his floo burst to life a second before he saw Scorpius rush out and a millisecond before he felt Scorpius' fist connect with his jaw, "You raven-hair cock sucker! She's fucking with my life so you're going to get off your sorry ass and come with me to fix this."

"First off, fuck that hurt. Secondly, what does my being gay have to do with whatever crazy bint of a witch you've hooked up with?" Al demanded as he stood rubbing his jaw, working it from the left to right to make sure it wasn't broken.

"I'm talking about your sister. Dizzy heard our conversation where we were talking about two different witches and thought we were talking about Lily. So, my ever-helpful elf went to Lily's flat to make your sister a proper lady!"

Al doubled over laughing, "How are you and Dizzy still alive?"

Scorpius grabbed Albus by the collar and dragged toward the floo saying, "Fix this Potter or I swear I will find that Godric forsaken picture you showed me when you had a gag ball in your mouth, with a rubber dick stuck in your ass as your freak of a boyfriend wanked off to you. It will be my holiday card to your parents."

"Do it! I'll send your father that picture of you checking out his wife!" Albus countered.

"I was thirteen and she was in a thong bikini so go ahead and show the old man! Now get your bloody shoes on and come with me to fix your sister while I still have a home to return to."

Albus shook his head violently as Scorpius grabbed him to apparate, "No, the witch is bloody scary!"

"Fix her!" Scorpius yelled as they landed in his living room. Albus took the room in and noticed that all of the sleek modern furniture now resembled something out of a 1950's beach movie his sister loved …wicker with brightly colored cushions and unceremoniously scattered across the room.

"I have to say, I really don't like what you've done with the place, Scorp. It isn't your style."

"Fuck you, Potter!" Scorpius spat at his friend.

"I offered years ago, you claimed I was the wrong Potter." He wiggled his eyebrows before he turned and headed out of the room to locate his sister. It didn't take long before he found her in Scorpius' spacious kitchen.

She had spelled the dishes to clean themselves and sat atop the counter as a dozen or so spice bottles circled around her. He noticed her silent tears as they ran down her face. He was never one to stand by while his baby sister cried. He closed the distance quick to wrap her in a tight embrace.

"Oh, Lily, don't cry. This is a big misunderstanding. Why are you so extreme, princess?" Albus asked.

"What do you know about any of this? It isn't as if any of this is your fault. It was him and his evil little cockroach of a house elf."

Al pulled her from the counter and sat her on the floor with him. He laced his fingers with hers and leaned his head on her shoulder. "It kind of is my fault too. Scorp told me his dad hired you for the Gala, but when he said Lily and Gala, I heard Layla. The only Layla I know is Skeeter's sister. She's about as much a lady as her Grandmother. Anyway we were having two different conversations in two different rooms. I said something to the effect that maybe he should send Dizzy over to give her a lesson on how to be a proper witch in order for her not to embarrass his dad. He made a comment, I'm sure was sarcastic, that may have given the little elf the idea it was what Scorpius wanted."

Lily sniffled, "What comment sent that elf to me?"

Albus looked at his sister with huge puppy dog eyes and said, "He may have said something that sounded like, 'I'll do that'. Lily, Scorpius thinks the world of you. You're the Malfoy men's favorite Potter; both Malfoys. I swear if it wasn't for Aunt Hermione, Draco would pursue you. Only like two percent would be to put the mickey to Dad. Now fix his shite, apologize and for Godric sake, shag the rich bastard."

Laughing at her brother, "Which Malfoy should I shag" she asked innocently before giving her brother a pointed look. Sighing she bit her lip and asked, "Look, if he turned you down what chance will I have? I'm not nearly as beautiful as you."

"I thought it was Dad that had the shite eyesight. I might be beautiful but you my precious baby sister have all the right equipment to make my mate one happy man. Just go in there, apologize and fix his damn house. It was a mistake."

They sat on Scorpius' kitchen floor a few more minutes before they noticed the man leaning in the doorway. "Am I allowed in my own kitchen?"

Al stood saying, "I've done all I can with this crazy witch. You're up to bat, time to man up Malfoy." Al left his best friend and baby sister alone to work things out as he headed home.

Lily stood from the floor and flicked her wand to send the spice bottles back to their rightful home. "I fixed the labels and remade your dinner…it's in the oven warmer whenever you want it. The dishes are almost done but I still have to fix your living room, your bed, although I did put your clothes back in your closet." She stated flatly before she attempted to exit. Scorpius moved to block her as she neared the threshold.

He stared down at her, "This isn't about Dizzy or your kitchen fire. Talk to me Lily." Without warning Scorpius picked her up and placed her onto the counter to look at her better as they talked. He brushed some hair that had fallen into her face behind her ear but she refused to look at him in the eyes. "Lily, talk to me. I don't care what you say as long as you're honest with me. Please…"

She looked up at his blue grey eyes and melted like she had from the time she was fourteen after he had picked her up off the ground when she had fallen from her broom. She swallowed hard and in a small voice, "I'm sorry, I got so mad. I mean here is your elf telling me that you didn't think I was a proper lady. We both grew up in the limelight of our parents. The same circles, the same parties for the Ministry families and we were friends and allies after Aunt Hermione and your dad married. You knew I was so shy that the rules of society were like a Bible for me."

"I know, why do you think I drag you to all those stuffy dinners I go to?"

"Al's too flamboyant for public and dances like shite?" She brushed a bit of dust from his shoulder.

"Yes, there's that but… no… I enjoyed taking you with me because you're beautiful, funny, smart, honest, and poised. You chug fire whiskey with me and Al at the pub as easily as you curtsy or speak with the Minister of Magic on issues that affect the children in this community without hesitation or shame."

Lily nodded, "I also don't make wild and crazy demands on your cock for the next Malfoy heir."

Blushing slightly, he moved closer to place his hands on her thighs pulling her to him, "I wouldn't complain or deny you."

She took a deep breath, "Why are we doing this to each other?"

He didn't even pretend not to know what she was talking about, "We do this because you and I do what is expected of us from our parents. They raised us to follow our hearts just so long as our hearts didn't lead us to each other. I mean a Malfoy and a Potter in love; never." He wrapped his arms around her as she rested her own upon his shoulders.

Finally, she said, "I hate your house elf; she's rude and counterproductive to my creative energy."

"She hates you too, love. She hates that I like your biscuits more than hers" he said with a chuckle as he kissed the tip of her nose.

"I guess there's only one thing left to do after I finish righting this house."

Growling into her neck he asked, "What would that be, my proper Lady Malfoy?"

"We need to give everyone a right shock by telling them we were married last week" she said with a wild grin although before she could capture his lips with her own he smirked, "Only if I get to tell Harry that you've definitely tested the broomstick!"