"Oh, uh, demon, you...shouldn't have."
These were the words that left Laxus Dreyar's mouth as he stood there, out in the backyard of the old Strauss household, where he was being present with his Winter Festival gift. Everyone was there, watching, and well, fuck.
Mira had really put him on the spot.
Without meaning to, of course.
And by everyone, Laxus didn't mean the whole stinking guildhall.
No, rather, he meant his everyone.
Mira was there, of course, with their very cute and very excited by what he'd gotten for his Winter Festival gifts, two year old in her arms. Then there was Gramps, who hadn't been well recently, but certainly wasn't going to miss time with his family, bundled up in a blanket over his already rather heavy coat (it made him look even more frail, honestly) in a chair on the porch, while clutching a mug of hot chocolate.
Rounding out his family were the rest of them. Elfman and Ever, of course, because they were the ones currently owning the old Strauss family home, Lisanna and Bickslow because they had to invite them too (Mira insisted for some reason...something about family, Laxus chose to pretend he couldn't recall), and then Freed too, who had been the one to roll out Laxus' gift from the shed back there.
"You like it?" Mira was struggling, at the moment, with their wiggly toddler, who did not want to be held at the moment, but rather let go so he could run around in the snow and, with a sigh, Mira released him to do that as she went to go stand with her husband as he looked over his gift. "I know you wanted to take your time and decide on a new one all on your own, but I just couldn't help myself."
The big reveal wasn't as interesting to anyone else, it seemed. Makarov was drinking his coco, Ever and Elfman were over at the porch as well, arguing about just who was going to have to clean up all the wrapping paper their nephew had left behind when he unwrapped all his gifts (which was kind of pointless, as Mira would definitely be doing it), while Bickslow and Lisanna were using the time to do what they did with all their time; play.
She'd gotten him a new visor as a gift and the seith was running around, with his babies, rolling in the snow and testing out visibility with the way the bars were in front of his eyes. Mostly though, he was just straight up screwing around, with Lisanna tossing snowballs at him frequently, also under the pretense of training, but mostly just playing.
Which was super entertaining to Laxus' son.
A stark contrast to his father, who was staring darkly at his present.
"Yeah, Mira," he swallowed. "A new motorcycle. I...love it."
See, for many years, since he was a teenager, Laxus had had a love affair with motorbikes. Just the concept of them, the thrill, the freedom, the wild were all encompassing of what Laxus thought of himself, when he was a teenager and into his twenties. He romanticized being able to just pick up and leave, travel, see all of Earth Land, and it brought him great joy.
Why, then, was he not always on his motorcycle? Not just out cruising the region? Instead of walking most everywhere he went?
Simple.
It gave him wicked motion sickness.
It was brutal, really, and many times kept him from even wanting to get on the damn thing. It wasn't a full effect, as he wasn't a true slayer, but it was certainly there. Perhaps worse was when he wasn't on it, but thinking about getting on it, and considering the consequences. For some reason, the idea of motion sickness was much worse than actually experiencing it. And then, after psyching yourself out by the concept of it, then you had to put up with the real thing and...well…
The effect only worsened, too, the older he got.
Not to mention Laxus met a woman. Err, rather, discovered just what had been right there all along, serving up drinks from behind the bar, kicking ass whenever said bar was threatened. He didn't need the romance of travel any longer; his romance was right at home, waiting for him to hurry and finish up his jobs.
So his bike got used less and less.
By him, anyways.
"Oh, I knew you would!" Mira was clapping her hands together then, getting the attention of the others momentarily, before she launched herself at her husband. Laxus wrapped his arms around her, of course, as she embraced him tightly, but his eyes were locked in a glare over at Freed who Laxus no doubt knew had helped Mira pick out a bike.
The man helped Mira was everything.
Originally, this had been a job the slayer had given to his most faithful follower. When he was out, Laxus no longer wished for bodyguards. Rather, typically, he wished for someone to stick around Magnolia. Not to...protect Mirajane. No, Laxus knew his demon could handle herself.
In fact, it's one of the things that he enjoyed bragging about so much.
Rather, Freed, originally, was supposed to just keep Mira...occupied.
It wasn't like Laxus was possessive or anything. No way! He didn't...own Mirajane. Especially not back when they first started seeing one another. It was more...well… Mira was very intelligent. She knew many things.
But she could also be a bit of a dunce.
And all Laxus had seen of her dating life, out of sight, out of mind was very much so how she was.
Much like him, honestly. He had dates. Not girlfriends. Mira was much the same. The thing was, however, when Laxus started to get serious about Mirajane, he just wasn't so sure that she was equally as serious about him and, well, to keep her from seeing other men when he'd go out on S-Class jobs, he'd fill her time with the one man he knew would never sleep with her.
For many reasons.
And Freed was all for whatever direction Laxus gave him, so he followed it to the fullest in the beginning. Even after Laxus and Mirajane became exclusive, the rune mage continued this measure as, well, honestly…
Freed rather liked hanging around Mirajane. They didn't have the same interests, necessarily, but both enjoyed partaking in the others. And Mira did need something to do when Laxus was gone so often. Having Freed take her out was to a play or something not only saved Laxus from hearing her bitch about how she had no one to do such a thing with, but also brought the two most important people in Laxus' life closer.
Well, two of the most important.
The other most important had been close to Mirajane since she lost her sister and needed the guidance of a wise old man to help her re-imagine herself into feeling better.
And Mirajane loved Makarov bunches too.
Even in their late thirties now, Laxus knew that Freed and Mira were still great friends. He was as much their son's uncle as Elfman or Bickslow. Definitely Mira's go-to too, as far as getting into Laxus' head in a way that she didn't, as to find the perfect gift.
So how the hell Freed, the insider, led her to a damn motorbike, Laxus had no idea.
But he wanted an explanation.
And stat.
Because there was a reason that his old motorcycle was gone.
He sold it, when Mira wasn't around, and then claimed it stolen to her and, after letting her fret over this for awhile, pretended to go off, in hunt of it, only to realize that it had been scrapped for parts by a local gang.
Who he took some retaliation out on.
Which got him praised by Mirajane and her fret turned over towards his loss, leading to a very interesting October night, with their son going to spend the night with one of his aunts.
Why, then, would Laxus go through all of this? Rather then just telling his wife that he no longer enjoyed the motorcycle, it made him feel ill, and that he wanted to sell it?
Because the woman loved it.
Honest.
Which was hot to Laxus, back in the day, but considering that he no longer wished to ride on it with her (which is what made it so hot), it was mostly worthless to him. Fine, maybe he could have just explained this to her as well, but that would seem…
Weak.
To Laxus.
And he never liked to look weak in front of his demon.
He might occasionally pretend to be so, for her benefit, claiming she was stronger than he or pretending to be fearful of her demonic affects, but ultimately, both he and Mira knew who was the man in the relationship.
Laxus took great pride in it.
Not many men could handle the woman.
But he could.
It was very important to him.
To admit that a silly, once a month motorcycle ride around the town was getting to be too much for him was not something that the man was planning on revealing to her.
How then, was it Freed's fault that the woman didn't realize any of this and had replaced a motorcycle which, seemingly to anyone else, Laxus had been devastated to lose, considering he'd had it since his youth?
Because Laxus made it very clear to Freed what he wanted bought for him for the holiday.
He was going to take up building model ships.
"Sh-Ships, Laxus?" he'd remarked when the slayer told him this.
"Yeah. Ships. I'mma put them all around my office," he said, speaking of course of the one he currently had up at the guildhall. "Need more than just pictures of the demon and the boy."
"B-But Laxus," Freed stammered, "you do realize that building model...anything takes much concentration and dedication."
"I have both of those."
"Well, yes, but patience is also-"
"You sayin' I don't got patience, Freed? Huh? Is that what you're trying to-"
"Of course not! I was just-"
"Good." The slayer even recalled nodding his head. "Tell the demon I want tons of them.'
"O-Of course, Laxus." And Freed bowed his own head in return. "I will get right on this."
Which Laxus took him at his word for. No need to hint Mira along; Freed would set her up for a slam dunk.
So why the hell was Laxus staring at a damn motorcycle then?
Huh?
"Oy, boss!" Bickslow was finished rolling in the snow apparently. "You gonna get on it or what?"
"Yeah, Laxus," Lisanna added on to her boyfriend. "The only reason we came over to Elf and Ever's for Christmas instead of you and Mira's was for this big reveal."
"Actually it's because Laxus banned the two of you from entering his home after the last time," Evergreen said as she paused her argument with Elfman (which had devolved into whether or not one of them should go start a fire in the fireplace, as they were clearly about to head back inside). "Remember?"
Bickslow snorted. "Boss loves us."
"Well, Mira loves us, at least," the woman's sister said with a shrug.
Laxus, at the moment, didn't care for any of them. At all. Because someone far more important than them all was suddenly tugging at his thick jeans.
"Vroom vroom!"
And he had to grin at him.
With a giggle, Mirajane let go of Laxus so that he could lean down and scoop the little boy into his arms. He and Mira had both held their breaths, when he started sprouting hair at seven months, to find it to be too fair to tell if it would go the standard Strauss white or the golden Dreyar.
So far, it was too light a blond to be like his father's, but not nearly so to be white enough to be his mother's.
Laxus was still banking on it either staying the way it was or getting a bit blonder, as, while a little girl with white hair like her mother would be cute, a little boy could be confused as looking too much like a certain brother-in-law of his and, well, yuck.
"Did you know Mama was getting me this, Torren?" Laxus walked closer to the bike, leaning down a bit so that his son could pat at it. "Huh?"
"Ride?" He tilted his head up to stare at the man. "Papa?"
Before he could say anything though, Mira was snatching him back. "You know you can't, silly. Besides, you have your own gifts. Remember?"
Yeah, but watching his father and mother go off on the motorcycle since he was born had always intrigued him. He'd yet been allowed to go for a ride himself, but he would just have to keep asking.
That's usually how he got everything.
In a family full of adults that, in his mind, only existed to please him, the only child, it was a pretty solid game plan for the most part.
Laxus, without the boy in his arm, only turned to Freed who, reading the look off the man's face, made a fearful one of his own. The last thing he wanted to do was disappoint Laxus.
Literally the last.
But, see, it wasn't that simple. Mirajane already had it in her head that she was getting Laxus the bike and no matter what he said, there was nothing he could do. And if the man honestly wanted...model ships, then Freed would gladly buy them! Honest!
Dissuading the she-devil, however, had proved impossible.
And honestly, he wasn't sure why Laxus looked so pissy at him. Model ships weren't that expensive. Sure, he was currently taking care of his wife, toddler, and grandfather off the income he made as guild master, but Laxus wasn't struggle.
The Thunder Legion would never allow him to!
Laxus wished then that he'd keyed the man in on just why it was so important that Mira get him some model ships or anything, honestly, other than what was currently resting in front of him, but it didn't matter.
An order was an order.
Explained or not.
And what kind of general has to explain himself anyhow?
"You," he was just beginning to growl as, just like that, Mira was reaching out with her free arm that wasn't snugging Torren to grasp his arm.
"You though, mister," she was saying, eyes alight as she stared up at him, dressed in that silly, far too big for her (mainly because it was his) sweatshirt, "should go ahead and take your first ride!"
"Yeah, boss!" Bickslow had gone back to throwing snow (not snow balls, just literally picking up snow and tossing it in Lisanna's general direction, where it would only become particles, drifting from one another), but did look over at that, pushing up his new, shiny golden visor to stare at the man across the tiny backyard. "You should ride off! We can all watch."
"I'm not a little kid," he grumbled at the rest of them with a frown. "This was a me and Mira thing, so-"
"But we all wanna watch," Lisanna complained. "Big brother Laxus-"
"I'm not your broth-"
"Actually, yeah, Master, you can go in now," Mirajane said, glancing over that way though she still held Torren in her arms and left a hand on one of Laxus'. "I thought that dragon would have some sort of big reaction-"
"Still not sure where you got that idea," Ever remarked. "But come on, Master. I'm gonna get a fire going and then we can all eat breakfast. We have to get down to the hall eventually. Or at least Mira and Laxus do."
Because she was actually hoping to skip the festivities that year and just stay at home, in her house, alone (because there was no way that Elfman was missing them; never) and take a nice warm soak in her tub.
"I thought he would be excited," Mira said with a frown. Laxus, who was shocked, but not anywhere close to pleased, only made a face over at where Ever was on the porch before looking to his wife.
"Of course I'm excited, woman." But his voice was still rather tense. "I just… There's snow all around and..."
"Oh, dragon, if you're afraid to go out on it, then don't-"
"Afraid?" His annoyance finally turned on his wife. "What would I ever have to be afraid of? I-"
"Yeah!" That was finally something that Elfman could get behind, apparently. "Laxus is a man! Men aren't afraid of death!"
"Uh, men like to stay alive so that their wife and child can continue to spend time with them, Elf, but thanks," Mira said as she only continued to stare up at Laxus. "If you're thinking about ice or something, dragon, then don't-"
"It not that," he grumbled before trying to find some way to buy some time. "I want...to take...you with me. On my first ride."
"Really?"
Why the fuck not? If he was being forced to go anyways?
There were few good cures to motion sickness, but right up there with sucking on some ginger drops was having the demon real close. It was a mental thing, he was sure, but certainly still worth mentioning.
"Ugh." Lisanna was heading over as well then, to examine the bike. She'd seen it before, but it was more to be annoying to Laxus that she was doing so anyways. "If Mirajane goes with Laxus on his ride, then who's gonna start on breakfast?"
"You are." And the slayer meant it as he made a face at her. "It's going to be your Festival gift to Mirajane."
"But me and Bickslow already gave her those super great hair ties," Lisanna complained as Bickslow nodded over at them.
"We spent, like, two whole jewels," the seith agreed. "Put a lot of thought into it. Because you wear your bangs up, Mrs. Boss."
"She hasn't done that in years!" Laxus growled at them. It was enough to evoke a giggle from Torren who loved his father's roars. "You nimrods!"
"It's true," Mira agreed, nodding her head, all of her silvery hair down, as it had been for the past five years or so. "But still totally thoughtful, guys."
"Thank-" Lisanna started, but Laxus only growled some more.
"How was it thoughtful, Mira?" he asked. "They weren't thinking at all!"
"Again," Ever spoke up from where she was helping Makarov to his feet, "I have to ask; why did you think it would turn out any differently?"
"You know what, Ever?" Laxus hadn't barked at her in awhile. It was about time. Before he did it to the demon and got sent inside without even being able to playw tih his gift.
Wait…
Before Laxus could tell Ever just what (or turn his anger back on Mira and therefore not have to ride the bike because she'd put him on punishment), Makarov spoke up.
"Hush up, boy," he grumbled as Torren forced his way out of his mother's arms again, to go chase after the man. It wasn't easy in the accumulated snow, but his gramps wasn't leaving without him anyways. "And hurry back, my dear. Eating any of these fools cooking might just be what finally puts me in the grave."
"I would take offense to that," Lisanna grumbled as Bickslow only snickered, tongue hanging from his mouth, "if that didn't get me out of making breakfast."
"Oh, like you were doing it anyways." Free of the child, Mira looked to her husband once more with a grin, though she spoke to the auspiciously silent man behind him instead. "Freed, can you get our helmets? Please? They're in the shed."
There was a time when Freed only took orders form Laxus.
This time was quickly rectified to included the man's demon in the aforementioned spying but really just keeping an eye on and entertaining said woman time period that Laxus wished to never come to light.
It was one thing, especially years out, to admit to being tamed by the she-devil; it was a complete utter to admit that he had been looking to be tamed all along.
"Of course, Mirajane." Freed didn't bow to her though, like he would Laxus. Mainly because then Mira would giggle and bow back to him and just ruin everything.
She had the propensity.
"Dragon," Mira sang as Lisanna and Bickslow went back to their play, Ever took her nephew and former Master into the house, and Elfman came over to look over the bike as well. "You ready for your new bike? I know how much you loved the old one. And I was completely devastated, just like you, for some stupid vandals to wreck it."
"Devastation is a strong-"
"Did they not know they were messing with Raijin?"
:And he knew Mira was teasing him, but Laxus only grunted a bit because, hey, if this imaginary bandits had made off with his bike, they damn sure would have realized eventually just who they'd stolen from.
"They were stealing from a man, Mirajane!" Elfman, who had been on a pretty big Laxus kick as of late (the two had their good weeks and bad weeks; but Mira always insisted that's what made them brothers), informed her. "And you're pretty dang manly too!"
"Uh, no." Laxus never cared for this compliment when it was bestowed on his very much so woman. "She's not."
"More than Evergreen," he remarked sourly then, glancing back at the house. "Who buys a man cologne for Winter Festival?"
"Someone that thinks you stink, I believe." Freed was back with the helmets and the quips, apparently. When Laxus frowned at him, just for speaking, the rune mage misread this and believed (as he still wasn't certain completely why the man was so upset with him) that he was annoyed with his commentary on his wife's brother. "I-I mean, many people do, Elfman."
"That's actually true." Mira grinned at Freed as she took her very bright pink helmet. "Elf. She might just not like the one that you use now. And an entire set? That set her back a few jewels."
"Didn't you just get her, like, a stupid little charm thing?" Lisanna, at the moment, had rushed to go hide behind the shed, to avoid the onslaught of snow Bickslow was hurling at her, but managed to ask this. "Elf?"
"I got her what she wanted," he grumbled. "A charm for her bracelet."
"That actually isn't that odd, no," Freed agreed truthfully that time. "At all."
"Bah!" Bickslow made a face over at them. "You guys are so stupid, wasting your jewels on things like that. Me and Lissy got ourselves the most important gifts of all."
The others knew what it was before they said it, because they always said it, and it was always annoying as hell.
"Each other," both Bickslow and Lisanna said at the same time.
Mirajane, however, bounced a bit, after putting her helmet on. Because she could have as many kids as she wanted, have as stable a relationship as she wished, and never put her bangs up again; she hadn't matured a day.
Not where it counted at least.
"That's so cute!" she said as Laxus, shoving his own helmet on his head with a frown, having never thought he'd have to do so again, when he sold his bike all those months ago. "You guys! You-"
"Yeah, demon, it was cute," he grumbled. "When they said it, what? Forty years ago, now, is it?"
"Dragon, you'd be sixty something if that were true."
"You get my point though."
"I don't," Elfman grumbled, as he still glared over at his younger sister and the seith. "Laxus."
"Oh," Freed sighed, more to himself as he watched Laxus climb on the hog, "we all know."
"We have to hurry, Mira," was all the man said to his wife. "Before the roads all close up for the parade."
"It is getting rather late in the morning," she agreed with a giggle as she adjusted her helmet. "Isn't it?"
"Have fun while we're starving to death," Lisanna remarked, still hidden behind the shed. "And Bickslow, you can't just keep pelting me with snowballs. You have to give me a chance to get out from back here!"
"Never!"
Laxus could see by Mira's eyes that she was enjoying listening to Bickslow and Lisanna's bickering, but he certainly wasn't. And never did, honestly. So he only cleared his throat to show he meant business and held out a hand for the keys.
It was then or never.
And never, really, had never been an option, apparently.
There was nothing like it though, of course, the feeling of Mira holding him 'round the middle as they raced down streets. Like the old days. When he was still trying to impress her and Mira was still trying to hide just how hard she had fallen for the slayer.
But the motion sickness was ever present and didn't let up in the slightest.
He wanted to die.
And in Mira's arms, it would feel pretty poetic.
But he liked the roar of the bike and the way it handled. It was snowing out, but the traction was still nice. The style wasn't necessarily his taste, but Laxus was never one about aesthetics. So long as Mira hadn't rolled out a bright pink bike, he'd have been climbing on it.
Now a dark purple would have required a very (brief) inner monologue before acceptance, but that was besides the point.
He didn't stay out long. He'd told her they wouldn't. But Mira enjoyed herself regardless. Up at the hall, they would both be busy with things that didn't involve one another and, until that time, would be spending the rest of it with their family. The only time they'd get alone for the Festival was right then and, well, he was miserable through it, but damn, it didn't matter how many years passed; he'd never hate getting some of that.
Never.
When they arrived back at the house, Bickslow and Lisanna had shifted to building an igloo in the front yard with Torren, who immediately abandoned this (he was more of a detriment to the structure, anyhow) and took to bouncing around, waiting for his parents to get off the bike and give him the attention he never once in his life since taking his first breath had demanded and craved.
Lisanna, still working on a block of snow, did glance up and say, "Hey, Laxus, I was telling Torren that after we finish the igloo, maybe we could put together a snowman. What do you think?"
She was teasing him, of course, but instead of responding with a growl or some sort of vague reference so the horrific snowman incident of X766 (Ivan made snowmen come to life with his magic and tormented Laxus because, honestly, young Laxus was as annoying as teenage Laxus; Mira had to hear the story every winter and, honestly, was glad that they managed to avoid it then), the man only held his stomach and staggered off to the house.
He was getting too old to pretend like he could handle such torture as a motorcycle ride.
Honestly.
"Leave him alone, Lisanna," Mirajane said with a frown over at the pair as she snuggled her son in her arms. Someone had given him his cute little knit hat to put on that made him even more snuggle worthy. "Dragon's going through a lot."
"Motion sickness," her sister retorted as Bickslow didn't even speak. When he was given a task, one he deemed of importance, the man would lose the childish act he and Lisanna put on and, rather, throw himself completely into his work. And building an igloo was important. Just trust him. "He has motion sickness. You used to think it was funny too, Mira."
"Yeah, I did," she said as she went over the base of the igloo that they'd gotten done so far. Setting Torren down so he could get back to work (or pretending to work, rather, while mostly sneaking eating snow). "But that all changed."
"Today?" Bickslow looked up for this because, honestly, it made no sense. "You were laughing at him just last week when we were all on the train to-"
"Wait, what did you do?" Lisanna had completely abandoned her brick asking, tilting her head up to stare at her older sister. "Mirajane?"
"I don't know what you're talking-"
"Clearly, you did something," the younger Strauss accused. "Else you wouldn't care so much about him feeling ill."
"Mrs. Boss, I'm ashamed of you." Bickslow clicked his tongue. "Did you hide his ginger candy thingies?"
"No," she hummed. "Those were one of the things that you two all ate when you broke into our house while we were out and ate all of our food. Remember? The reason that you're no longer invited back?"
"In our defense," Lisanna said, holding up a hand, "you gave us a key and said to make ourselves at home."
"Years ago. I gave you a key years ago. And to only use if you, like, were trapped in a hurricane or something and needed shelter. Or I asked you to do something for us."
"Plus," Bickslow said with a shake of his head as he and Lisanna still sat there, down on their knees, in the snow, "we didn't eat all the food.'
"All the food!" his babies cried as they circled around Torren, the toddler batting at them with giggles. "All the food!"
"We just ate all your junk food," Lisanna agreed. "None of the gross can food."
"And it was an emergency! We'd been kicked out of our apartment, you guys wouldn't loan us any jewels, and we were hungry," Bickslow said. "What would you have done, Mira? If you were in our situation?"
"I did give you jewels. And you two went out and dwindled it away, drinking."
"We were relieving stress, sis," Lisanna said with a frown. "What do you want from us?"
"Anyways," Mira said loudly then, "considering dragon did even know he'd have a motorcycle here, and therefore would have had his ginger drops anyways, no, Bickslow, I did not hide them."
Oh. Right. They were still dealing with that.
"Then what did you do? Mira?" Lisanna was tired of guessing.
After one guess, her and Bickslow were already bored.
They had an igloo to build, damn it!
But she just hummed at them before walking off, leaving Torren behind with the pair. She hardly made it into the tiny house she at one time shared with her siblings, however, before Freed was descending upon her and taking her to the side.
"Mirajane, please, tell me, do you know what it is that I have done to your husband? And if it is over the ships that he is so upset with me over, then please, assure him that I will buy him all of the models-"
"Freed, what's wrong?"
"It is Laxus." He'd pulled her into the den, where they appeared to be alone, and, keeping one hand on her arm, the rune mage said, "He has been cool towards me since the unveiling of your gift and, while I'm sure that he loves it, Mirajane, he really had his heart set on those model ships I told you about and-"
"Oh, Freed," the woman giggled, bringing a hand up to her mouth. "It's nothing you did, silly."
"Yes it is! Perhaps not to you, but to Laxus-"
"I mean, you're definitely the patsy, but-"
"The...Mirajane-"
"Laxus' bike didn't get stolen, Freed." And she wasn't giggling then. "He sold it."
"He w-what?"
"He sold it. I overheard him on a lacrima, discussing it with a guy. I didn't understand what he was doing at first, because I thought that he loved his motorcycle so much, but then when it suddenly went
'missing' I knew something was up. And for him not to immediately get another one told me that, clearly, there was a reason that Laxus got rid of the bike."
Freed was at a loss. For a multitude of reasons. Mainly though because he wasn't sure what this had to do with him being a fall guy.
"And I know," Mira was going on, "before this all happened, that he was feeling worse and worse, when he would travel or use the bike, so I bet he was just tired of me always wanting to go out on it and, instead of just telling me this, he was going to get rid of the problem. Then he could continue to pretend, to me, that he was looking at different bikes, which is what he's been telling me, and then just wait for my interest to fad and then he'd be in the clear."
That time, when she took a breath, Freed couldn't help it.
He had to say something.
"Then why," he asked, incredulous, "did you buy him a new motorcycle?"
Mira didn't even have to think about it. "Because I wanted one."
"I'm...lost. Then why did you-"
"Freed, if I said I wanted one, Laxus would give me this whole spiel about all the money I spend on clothes and jewelry and house things. Then we would have fought and I would have told him that I would just keep my own money, from the tending bar, and he could keep his money, from running the guild, and we'll just not share money anymore. Then he'd get upset and yell and I would cry and then we'd sleep together and then, weeks later, I'd be allowed to get my bike. But he'd put a price limit on me and that's just not fair!"
"Once more, Mire, what-"
"If I was pretending, Freed, to be buying him a bike, I could spend as much as I want," she said with a shrug. "Because I love him or whatever."
"M-Mirajane-"
"Plus," she went on, "all you were bringing to the table for his gift ideas were those stupid model ships and I am not letting him decorate my office that way."
"It's not your office though. It's his."
"It's mine." Mira gave him a hard look. "Just like it was basically mine back when Makarov used it. Wooden models and plastic models and all that are just gross. It would make me think of a lonely old man, like, filling his home with them, and that would depress me."
"You are not-"
"And did you really want me and dragon to have to fight, Freed? Just to end up with me getting what I want?" She gave him her biggest, saddest eyes. "Think of poor Torren. Having to listen to Papa yell at me."
Letting out a very slow, steady breath, the man said, "Why did you not tell me all of this? When we were looking at motorcycles and picking out one for him?"
"Because you'd have acted like this."
"You can't just spring these sorts of things on a man, Mira!"
"Oh, Freed, if I let you in on every single trick I pulled on dragon-"
"There's others?"
"You don't stay with someone for the rest of your life without-"
"Lying to them? Cheating them out of a gift? Manipulating their emotions?"
And Mirajane and Freed both froze. Because that didn't come from either of them. No. Those accusations came from what sounded like someone who was in the den with them.
The layout of the den had changed many times over the years. Back in the day, it served as Elf's room, as Mirajane and Lisanna got the two tiny actual bedrooms. It stayed that way until Lisanna moved out (to go bum around with Bickslow) and Elf got his own room finally. Then Mira moved out (to, contrary to Lisanna, live the high life with her S-Class boyfriend), leaving the entire place to be Elfman's manly castle.
Then Ever moved in and actually furnished it correctly. With a nice couch and loveseat table. The doorway that Freed and Mira were still standing in, were towards the back of the couch that neither had checked. Because why would they?
Apparently, so they wouldn't be overheard.
By the man they were speaking about, no less.
See, Laxus needed to lay down. Immediately. When he came in, he almost went to the guest room, but then he just sorta crashed, instead, into the couch, and hoped to be woken up for breakfast.
If he could choke down food, that is, without hurling it back up.
The could see Laxus then, sitting bolt right up on the couch, glaring over at them. Mira's cheeks turned a dark red and Freed didn't know what to do other than stammer out an apology.
"L-Laxus! Master Laxus! I did not… I knew nothing of this."
"Freed," Mira complained, turning her dark eyes on him. "Way to throw me under the bus."
"You were doing the same to me!"
"But I'm a lady. You should want to fall on your sword for me."
Actually he would do that, for Mirajane. In most situations. He cared for her greatly.
Just...not more than he did Laxus.
Obviously.
"You're free to go, Freed," was all the slayer growled as he continued to stare at his wife. "I gotta speak to my wife."
And he bowed at him, from the waist, before rushing off to go join the commotion in the kitchen where he could hear Elfman and Ever arguing over which one was going to go ahead and start on breakfast, since it was clear that Mira was just never going to get around to it, as Makarov, who seemed to have gotten into the liquor (already; and regardless of the fact that Mira told him he needed to stop drinking so much, due to some of his new meds that the doctor had him on), sang some very loud, winter themed songs.
Not that Mira or Laxus cared. At all. Or could even hear them, really, as they were so keyed into one another at the moment.
Voice deep and a slight growl in the timber, Laxus shoved up regardless of his lack of equilibrium to stalk over to the woman as he said, "Demon-"
"Dragon, I can explain."
"Oh, can you?"
"I just really liked the motorcycle. I loved it. That was our first date. Remember?" Mira was speaking fast as he continued on his way over to her. "You took me out on it and we… And it was so nice. And I loved riding it with you. Watching you work on it when something was wrong with it. It was such a big part of our life. And then you just suddenly sold it behind my back and lied to me. So you're a liar too! Manipulator. You-"
"Mira-"
"But… I wanted to buy one! But I knew how you'd act about it. And that you were just toying with me, about you actually looking for yourself a new one. And even if you weren't playing me, it wasn't fair. I like using the bike way more than you do. So why would you get to pick a new one out? Huh? How is that fair? It's not! And...and… You always yell at me about spending. Or giving money to Lisanna and Bickslow. Or helping Elf and Ever out. Or buying Torren new toys or Master something and… I wanted something for me! Not just jewelry or clothes. I should get a motorcycle if I want. And I did want. So-"
"Demon." In front of her then, Laxus' dark eyes stared deeply into hers before, slowly, he reached out to rest a hand against her cheek. "Apparently you owe me a damn Christmas gift."
"Laxus-"
"You made me ride a damn bike, Mirajane, and pretend to be excited, even though you knew that I've been having problems with-"
"I'll buy you the ships! The model ships! I'll buy you them. And I didn't know exactly that you were feeling so unwell when riding a bike. More than usual. I just sorta guessed-"
"You," he told her then, lowly, "are not the one that gets to pick my new gift, Mira."
Frowning a bit, she whispered, "Okay."
"I," he told her simply, "don't ever want you to- and I mean, this demon. I don't want you to ever, at all, not once, make me get on a damn motorcycle again."
She blinked. Then she blinked again. "That...that's what you want for Winter Festiiv-"
"Yes."
"L-Laxus-"
"My silly, stupid little demon." And he breathed a bit. "Did you really think you could pull a fast one on me? Huh?"
"W-Well, I sorta did. Then told on myself on accident. But-"
"You're so...devious." And he breathed that last one, as he left his head fall, so that he could rest his forehead against hers. "You know that?"
"Mmmm."
"I'm gonna fuck your ass so hard tonight, over this."
"Dragon."
He only let out a short breath before saying, "You shouldn't trick people, Mira. And force people to do things they don't want. I mean, why did you make me ride the bike today if you knew-"
"I had to play it off," she insisted. "Like I expected you to be excited. So that you would think that I was excited to give it to you."
"You're a horrible person."
"I know."
"Worse than Bickslow, who has somehow managed to con your sister into thinking that he can present himself as a gift for literally every gift giving holiday."
"Everyone has quirks."
"Quirks." He snorted before slowly whispering, "Demon, I don't feel well."
"I know."
"I'mma go lay back down." Nuzzling his head to hers, he whispered, "And we're going to talk about this. In full. Later."
Just not then.
Because he couldn't stand to.
Literally and figuratively.
Unfortunately for him, this would give Mira to go up to the guildhall and speak to all her friends on the subject. Namely Levy. Who would give her some very convincing arguments against Laxus as well, given that he also lied and, really, was the one that started the whole thing by doing so.
At the moment though, she only led him over to the couch before rushing off to separate Elf and Evergreen before they ripped into one another over stupid breakfast. Not to mention to take the liquor away from Makarov before he drank himself to death.
Both were equal fears she had of happening eventually.
"I take it," Freed asked as he helped Mira get started on a huge pan of scrambled eggs as well as some fried potatoes and bacon, "that you have apologized to Laxus for your transgression."
"Mmmm...nope. Not really." Mira even shrugged. "But he did say something about you needing to explain yourself-"
"Me?" Even bacon grease popping on Freed would be more upsetting than hearing this. "But clearly Laxus understood. He heard you explain to me what happened. It's proof that I did no wrong. Is it not?"
"It's not."
"B-But-"
"Because he doesn't think that you were going to tell him."
"Tell him? You mean rat you out?"
"Mmmhmm. He thinks you might be more loyal to me."
"This is not true!" And it wasn't. Freed couldn't believe that the man would say such a thing. "Mirajane, I find you to be a very great person, but Laxus-"
"Tell it to the judge."
"I must go do so immediately! I-"
"Not this minute. He's still feeling the ill effects of his motorcycle ride," the woman said with a shake of her head. "Perhaps you should do it up at the hall? Later today?"
"Y-Yes! I will do it then!"
"Great." Mira grinned at him. "That's exactly what you should do."
Had Laxus actually said any of this.
Rather, Mira needed the slayer to be distracted for the entirety of the day, so he wouldn't just hang around the bar area and make snide remarks about what a sneak she was (she hated being called a sneak).
Freed thinking that Laxus was disappointed in him? And no doubt would take his denials of this were just the man being so disappointed that he didn't even deem Freed worthy of his time?
Perfect distraction.
Man, sometimes Mira even shocked herself with just how manipulative she could be.