Title: Right
Author: Rinne
Pairings: John/OFC
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Het
Spoilers: General series spoilers
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, not being paid.
A/N: Written for the LJ spnhetlove challenge of "Favourite Things". This is the first time I've written a pairing, so any constructive criticism is appreciated. Thank you to starrylizard for talking through with me various drafts and daisycm83 for reassuring my nerves.
Summary: While this might not be right, it's what she needs.
"This isn't right."
The words are whispered and she pulls him closer, wraps herself around him, telling him her answer by her actions. She kisses him, hard and urgent, feeling the scrape of his beard against her cheeks.
"I'm still in love with Mary."
She acknowledges the words with her mouth, scrapes her nails down his side, listens for his hiss. She kisses along the side of his neck, splays a hand along his jaw. She loves his beard, loves the way it feels, loves the way it makes him look: rugged, strong. Hers, not Mary's.
"You deserve more than this. This, this isn't right."
She tells him this is what she need, tells him the only way she can so that he'll come back to her, not leave her alone here. She tells him that he deserves more than her, what she can give; that he doesn't deserve this life. She cries that she doesn't deserve this life either.
They lay together, quiet, her hand on his chest.
"I can't stay."
She raises her hand to his face, feeling who he is, what he is. She wouldn't change him, as much as she wishes she could; as much as she wishes she could give him his old life back. "I know."
They never can stay.