Sociopaths Can't Love You

Prologue

Authoress Note: I have to many stories but my creativity sensors won't shut up so here is another one! Oh a note for the future don't run up to your mother right after church and say 'how do you spell sociopath' people look at you like 0.0 ~!!!!! My friend Collette is helping me out. She wrote Collette's part MY LORD! ROCKET SCIENCE. Ahahhah sorry. SO please review. Also we know we are messed up so don't comment on how these to people need help and yes we think like this. Both ways. Lachen ist eine Luge.

Alex

All adolescents profile as sociopaths.

It's true did you know that?

I apologize let me start again

My name is Alex I am 14

My best friend Collette is a year younger than me

Can I tell my story?

Can I make it a poem?

Can I make it rhyme?

Do I have the skill to keep it in time?

Again, distracted

I apologize

I am a Girl

I like to read

I have no emotions

I can barely sing on key

Tokio Hotel is my favorite band

I used to love Bill

That was my plan

Then I lost all emotion

They all slid away

Like water down a drain

That's not true

I still feel pain

But I don't care

That's the difference

The absence of good

Left only with bad

And not caring

Hm, my story seems so sad

Oh well, to bad

It's all I have

That's not true either

I have a family and a home

A place where I don't belong

"Friends" I spend time with

People I am forced to see

One person used to matter

His name Was Bill Kaulitz

It was pathetic

But then pathetic is me

Then I think I lost that

He is still here in my mind

Haunting me

Never letting go

I still feel the need

But love, I think it's beyond me

I used to be vibrant

I used to care

Now I wonder if it was ever there

I let go of happiness

I let go of smiles

To get rid of the pain

It helped for a while

Now I'm glad its gone

Never would want it back

Happiness is so easily turned black

Then there's Collette

My closest friend

We share nothing

But a brain, a mind set

Completely Alone

Our minds are almost mirrors

Almost identical

Closer than twins

Better than sisters

Bound by emptiness

The Knowledge that we are nothing

And nothing is all we'll ever be

I call her my best friend

This term is perhaps misleading

I feel nothing for her

She feels nothing for me

We used to perhaps

Before our humanity slipped away

Shoved away like a broken toy

Forgotten like us

The world for got they knew us

And we let them believe

We were human

Though if you look close

It's quite easy to see that lie

There is nothing

Nothing but darkness on the inside

Collette

My name happens to Collette be. I am not sorry if jumbled this account of my life appears, but one might understand first that my brain works in this same way, and I feel not like exerting much today effort. Actually, I feel not like much anything any day. Like in seasons of snow and ice, all emotions of mine are frozen and trapped like in ice for eternity—longer than life (yes, for all you affected by retardation, eternity longer is than life).

Perhaps it would serve to explain. I put away emotion ages long ago, and not with intentions much. I am sad not—it is hard to sad be when one is not allowed so to be—I am happy to have put away my "humanity," or as close to happy as one such as I can be.

Long ago, I had a longing for one human. One human's name was Tom, although preferred by I was to call him Tommi. To me, was it cuter. This be may one of things only that I miss about feeling. I can no longer recall what it like was to cling onto the now-absent hopes of one day perhaps to meet this boy so we could, like an ending fairy tale, slip away to be in love. But now the love is gone, it has fled. Was it ever there really? Probably not. It is all illusionary now. Or so it seems to be.

But time slowly now passes, the seconds drip away into sands never recovered to be, like blood slowly drains from the body of one who has stabbed been, the seconds precious of life drain away to leave a shell, an empty shell forever to be devoid of feelings all. Slowly, everything that normally would snap a human in parts two become only pinpricks on my skin. I do notice not anymore.

Much better it is that way. People now leave alone my thoughts and me. They find it not fulfilling to talk to one who responds not in the places that one classified as normal would laugh or cry or gasp. Desensitized I have become, and everything means to me nothing in the present days. I perhaps grew tired of falsifying love, pretending to care for the humankind. A person with their feelings is like a seashell—they are too easily broken and crushed, blown away into the beach of broken shells, broken dreams.

No longer will I make believe to laugh. No more laughter. The laughter is a lie.

Bill

After a while even fame becomes hard to manage. You dream of it for so long. Then like so many other things once it's yours you realize it's not quite what you wanted. I never thought when I started my journey toward fame all those years ago that one day I would be The Bill Kaulitz. That I would be unable to leave my house alone, that I wouldn't be able to find a girl who loved me heart and soul not the Kaulitz fortune. I didn't think that having millions of fans meant having no one to hold at night. Well no one that truly connected with you. I could never be like my brother and give myself away to every passing whore with a good rack. It's not that I don't notice girls or even that I don't want them. It's simply that I want something deeper. I never thought I would have to find a girl incapable of loving to find love.

Tom

I still can't see why my brother is so dissatisfied with fame and fortune. An endless supply of girls with no commitment necessary it is perfect for me. I never believed that there is a soul mate for each person. That you could be with one person forever seemed a myth. I enjoy my time with the girls I find. My brother can say what he likes it is fun. I never thought that he would be right. That there would be one girl for me, sort of. I never thought that I would find one girl I could live with for ever. I also never thought that when I found this girl she would be incapable of loving me or caring about me making our relationship commitment free all about the bedroom and not about the heart.