Love and Let Live
I've heard it said that the greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return. So far the statement has proven false to me. I've loved, so much that it hurt like a physical ailment, but it hasn't been the greatest lesson. I wasted countless hours loving him, I shouldn't love him. He's the enemy. Further, he will never love me. I'm the filthy mudblood he was bred to hate. I shook my head trying to clear it of him.
I was studying in the Hogwarts library, or trying to, but thoughts of him kept forcing themselves into my head. So rather than studying like I should have been, I was sitting like a pathetic love sick school girl with my head resting against my hand and probably a far off look in my eyes.
"Fantasizing about Weasel-bee Granger?" A drawling voice came from behind me. I spun in my chair to face the object of my wildest fantasies. Draco Malfoy with his slim features and blonde hair stood before me. His usual sneer in place, but for a moment I saw something else in his eyes, something that looked akin to the look I saw in myself all too often. Before I could get a better look it was gone and what was left was the usual loathing.
"What or what I do not fantasize about is none of your business Malfoy." I replied starting to turn around but his next remark caught me off guard.
"Not even if they were about me?" I snorted.
"Especially if they were about you," I said, "Not that they are."
He smirked and moved closer. "Really? Because it seems you would have been less defensive if they weren't." I glared at him. "That and the fact that you're blushing."
I knew that already, my cheeks were aflame and I could feel the heat radiating off of them. I started to say something in reply, but he cut me off with his lips. I was momentarily shocked, before I reciprocated. My arms slipped around his neck pulling myself closer to him. Then he pulled away and I involuntarily pouted.
"Well, if you didn't fantasize about me before, you certainly will now." With a final smirk he walked, or more like strutted, off. I huffed and crossed my arms childishly.
See Hermione you shouldn't even give him a second thought. He's just a player. And you're just a mudblood to him. Get over him, he'll never love you. My eyes filled with tears, I knew it was true. He could never want me. I angrily wiped my tears away and gathered my things before heading to the Gryffindor common room. It was empty when I got there; everyone was already at the quidditch match I surmised. So I slid into my favorite chair in front of the fire and started to read, pushing every other thought out. When Gryffindors started flooding into the common room they were clearly ready to celebrate. Harry and Ron were carried in on the rest of the team's shoulders. Upon seeing me they were put down and the both of them came over to sit by me.
"How come you weren't at the match 'Mione?" Ron asked with a clearly accomplished look on his face.
"I was trying to get some studying in." I replied, "How did the match go? I can see you won."
"You study too much Hermione, the match was great though. We beat Hufflepuff 410 to 200." Harry replied enthusiastically. I smiled and gave him an enthusiastic answer before they headed off to celebrate their latest victory. I sat and watched for a while, envious of their simple lives while mine was so complicated. I had to be the confused one, of course. I supposed the universe just thought that I could handle it because I was so organized; perhaps it thought that if anyone else was given the feelings I was having they would implode or something. I sighed for what must have been the millionth time today and stood to go to bed. Unfortunately though, I couldn't sleep. I was too preoccupied with the memory of Malfoy's lips against mine.
In the next few weeks I managed to get him off of my mind at least long enough to get studying and such done, but at night he was the only thing on my mind. I couldn't make it stop unless I took a dreamless sleep potion, which I was strongly opposed to, so I dealt with it. My earlier theory about him just wanting to mess with me seemed to be invalid, as he avoided me at all costs. Or that was how it seemed anyway, I hardly saw him at all and when I did, he appeared to have been staring at me. That was probably just my imagination going haywire though, he wasn't looking at me.
"Hermione, why is Draco Malfoy staring at you?" Ginny asked from across the table one morning at breakfast. I turned around to find him indeed staring at me. He didn't look away this time; his grey eyes lingered on mine from across the room before I dropped his gaze.
"I have no idea." I said turning back to her. She cocked an eyebrow obviously disbelieving, but I shook my head and she dropped the issue.
Later that same day I was down by the lake when I heard footsteps approaching. I didn't look up; I didn't have to, to know it was him. He didn't say anything upon reaching me so we just sat in silence staring over the lake.
"You know, this coy little game you're playing is getting old." I said to him finally.
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"You know exactly what I'm talking about. First you kissed me and walked away like nothing happened, then you started avoiding me, and now I find you staring at me all the time." He looked at me then. He wasn't condescending like he usually was, just kind of confused looking. He sat down next to me with a grin. I looked at him with a raised eyebrow.
"So maybe I am playing a game." His grin widened.
"Want to tell me why?" I asked looking away from him now.
"No."
"Why not?"
"That would ruin it"
"Some things are meant to be ruined."
"But this one is too much fun to be ruined." I rolled my eyes.
"So that's it then? You are just trying to get into my head!" I told him angrily.
"What? No that's not it at all!"
"Then what is it Malfoy?"
"I… I'm in love with you." I sat back flabbergasted.
"What did you say?"
"Hermione, I love you." I shook my head disbelieving.
"You can't love me. I'm nothing, just a mudblood." He looked at me like I was crazy and shook his head.
"You're absolutely perfect Hermione Granger. I don't care what kind of blood you have or what house you're from or what people would think about us. All I know is I love you." I bit my lip doubtfully. "You obviously don't feel the same, I'll just go."
I grabbed his sleeve before he could get away. He sat back down staring into my eyes.
"I'm sorry; I was shocked that someone like you could love someone like me." He started to say something but I cut him off. "I love you too Draco." His smile was wide as he leaned in and kissed me for the second time. I smiled against his lips and kissed back. My hands moved of their own accord to grip his collar with no intention of ever letting go. His arms closed around my waist as we parted for air before diving back in.
"I knew you fantasized about me." He smirked setting my face aflame. His hand came up to cup my face, I leaned into it. "You're beautiful." I couldn't help but smile at him and think that for now my life was absolutely perfect. It didn't matter that people would object to our relationship, things would be hard but if it wasn't worth fighting for, it was worth having.
I've heard it said that the greatest thing you'll learn in life is to just love and be loved in return. Just a few weeks ago I believed that statement to be false, but now I realize just how true it is.