The Secret Lives of Birds

We all live in a cage. And that cage is made out of white wire. No, really. We do. Well, us birds anyway. Pairings revealed by time.

"animals talking"

"humans talking"

Real quick, just wanted to say, the "home" they live in is… Big with white wire walls, has bird food and water. And when I say big, I mean big. A lot of birds live in it anyway. Like zoo-approved big.

Warnings: Lots and lots of feathers. Dissing of us humans. Weird…ness…

A Scarlet Tanager sat, brilliant red feathers catching the light, with its black wings fluttering in annoyance. It cocked its head to the side, black eyes gleaming with a slight intimidating look. Nearby, a few fake branches over to be exact; a Purple Martin gave a shake—looking almost like a shiver. It seemed that these two simple yet exotic, 'dim-witted' birds…knew each other.

Which was true. They did. And though the Purple bird was several months in age ahead of the Tanager that did not stop the bundle of red from looking down at others. Him, being a male, was named by his caretaker. And this caretaker had named him Gaara. On the outside, Gaara looked like an ordinary Scarlet Tanager, but on the inside… Let's just say it ain't so pretty.

Oh, and the Purple Martin's name was Kankuro. Just so you know.

Now there were more birds in this small-enclosed area. One, also nearby, was a Yellow Warbler. She was named Temari; the reasons unknown like all the others. And she, sitting close to Kankuro, was indeed intimidated by the little red bird. The yellow and dark purple birds watched with anxious eyes as Gaara began fluttering his pitch wings again and twitching his black tail.

But despite this very tense situation, not all the birds were having an uneasy early morning. Close, and yet so far away, sat a little yellow canary. It happened to be a male as well, second in age to Gaara. This ones name was Naruto. Where this caretaker got these names, no one knew. Not even the name-holders themselves, though that should be impossible, shouldn't it?

A shriek went off somewhere in the giant white wire cage and some could have sworn to see black feathers go flying. And some could have also sworn to hear a few "giggle-ish" chirps from far off. Naruto caught a black feather in his beak and shook it with hateful fury. Gaara only watched, impassive. When the commotion had died down, a Black Swift, looking quite upset, hopped into range with the sunlight filtering through the small white wire bars.

Another one, it seems. This was a male named Sasuke, who has a brother named Itachi. At the moment, Itachi had been taken out of the jail to spend some quality time with the caretaker, who would have dubbed Itachi his personal favorite, had he thought the other birds cared. Unbeknownst to their dear caretaker, Itachi had caused the death of more then half his family, excluding Sasuke. That aside, the Black Swift's eyes were a deep, rich black color, and its wings also black, with a hint of gray. Itachi's own eyes were red like a Black Rail's eyes, but for what reason, he can't say.

"He's so fast!" A female Red-throated Pipit (whom we shall just call a Pipit) chirped loudly to another female, this one also a yellow canary. The Pipit, a bright pink color, was named Sakura, and the other Ino. Happily, the two beat their soft-feathered wings in hot pursuit of Sasuke.

A pale olive-colored Western Wood seemed to sigh in contempt, small eyelids half shut. Named Shikamaru or, Shika, for short, this bird liked to sleep a lot. Beside him was a very plump Vireo, with its head hidden deep within the food bowl. His name was Choji. Hopping back and forth annoyingly from fake branch to fake branch was a hyper little Song Sparrow, but don't be fooled by the name. He, Kiba, actually doesn't like to sing very much.

Perched not too far away were two reserved and sophisticated birds of the same kin. They are Storm-Petrel's, their feathers gray and white. Both of them had forked tails, and they ruffled their shining feathers in the daylight. To the left, Neji, a male. And on the right, Hinata, a female.

Gaara's narrowed eyes spotted a little bug, wavering an inch or so away from the bars to his jail-home. In the blink of the human eye, he jumped forward and caught it in his mouth. Kankuro and Temari chirped softly, as though trying to tell him what a good job he did at catching the bug in which he was…swallowing now. But Gaara only twitched his silky black tail-feather at them and turned away into the shadows of a corner.

Meanwhile, the small canary Naruto, absently stood watching everyone. Somewhere past those fluffy yellow breast-feathers his heart was aching for attention. To soothe this ache, Naruto hopped over to Neji and plucked a brilliantly dull gray feather from his side and ran off. The reaction that was meant with his antic was the one he had hoped for. Neji shrieked furiously and took off after him. Hinata just sat there, her little mind wandering aimlessly.

Temari sighed in her own little way. "That guy can be such a beak in the backbone sometimes…" Kankuro, having just flashed a weak grin at Gaara as he had begun to chirp softly to himself, nodded curtly in agreement. The two sat in companionable silence, before again agreeing on leaving to go get a drink of water.

The cage door opened with a creak, and a blur of black flapped in. Sasuke shook his head erratically as the Black Swift with red wine eyes flew up to him. "We meet again."

"And Lord help us," the younger black-feathered bird said tonelessly, earning a tilted look from his kin.

"Not happy to see your own brother?" Itachi asked, mock hurt flashing through those hell-burning eyes of his.

"Hmm. I wonder." Just then the entrance to their domain was opened again, and a hand reached in. On instinct, all the smart birds hopped away. But one, Naruto (who, might I add, still had Neji chasing him) fell captive to the human hand. He chirped helplessly as he was pulled out of the cage. A little boy, with a weird hat on, grinned a toothy grin down at the canary.

"I wan' t'is one, mammy!" The boy, known far and wide as Konohomaru, said to an older woman.

"Sorry, dear. They're your grandfather's. You can't keep them." She smiled gently, but the boy still pouted with teary eyes. Letting the bright yellow bird escape back into its jail, Konohomaru sighed.

"A'right. Can I ask 'im for one?" He said sweetly.

"I don't think he'd be willing to. It took him quite a while to collect so many of them." Konohomaru began pouting again as the mother and son walked out of the room.

"Amen and goodbye." Itachi said with while cocking his head sharply to the side with a look of annoyance. "Stupid meat eaters." Gaara looked over at that precise moment; probably thinking 'I like meat...' Another note, Itachi is a vegetarian.

Ino, who had just recently appeared from her hunt, agreed loudly. "They are so cruel to us!" Though she was undoubtedly right, no one commented.

The little Tanager had revealed himself to the world's harsh eyes again, eyes narrowed and beak lowered dangerously. "Damn you all to the darkest depths of hell and damn them all along with you." Many were a bit taken back by this statement, but Temari and Kankuro were very much used to his morbid words.

Itachi just made a nearly inaudible sound and journeyed to the food, something he deprived himself of irregularly. "Pfft. So negative." Sasuke scowled angrily. Bird-killer… Bird-killer… Cursed bird-killer Itachi…

"Naruto. Drop the feather. Now." Neji's smooth voice drawled. The yellow bird obeyed, and the gray object fluttered to the ground. Hinata chuckled ever so softly.

"So…" The Song Sparrow said, breaking the somewhat serious staring contest he had been having with Shika. "What now?"

"I say we all break out of here and kill the entire human population. What do you think?" The small and now gray feather-less-by-one bird offered with a twinkle in his eyes. Most of the others just scoffed and/or chuckled.

"Oh, yeah. They so do not have guns and knives and teeth and thumbs and—"

"We get it." Shikamaru cut into Kiba's line of reasons. "Well…we could always hop around being idiots." Neji immediately left the circle of multicolored birds. "Uh-huuuuh…" The olive little creature seemed at a loss of an idea.

Sakura jumped up and down on her branch, chirping. "I know, I know! Let's sing a song!"

"Er. How about no."

"EW! FEMALENESS!"

"I'd rather not..."

"Over my feather-plucked and dead, rotting carcass of bones."

Stare. Uh…moving on… So the group had decided against singing and agreed upon escaping the cage to sneak around the large house in which they all confided in. Itachi picked at the lock and at last prevailed, shoving it open and dropping to the ground in a bundle of black. He jerked his head to the side, signaling for the rest to follow.

Gaara came next, landing neatly with his head held high. Kankuro and Temari, much like his personal security guards (though mainly to protect him from himself), were just behind. Then Naruto, twitching with excitement, then Neji, feeling unwary, and then the rest. Details withheld for finger-hurting reasons.

Sasuke was last, we shall inform you, begrudgingly taking lead along side his so called brother. "Onward, scouts!" The older of the duo said loudly and pointedly over his shoulder.

"Say that again and I'll rip you apart, intestine by intestine."

Yeah, the rest were getting used to his morbid remarks, slowly yet surely. Naruto's little nails clicked along the tile as he tried to get ahead of Itachi. The Swift let him, though eyed the Canary with a slight anger filled look. Sasuke just shook his head, sighing.

And in the end, the little birdies came face to face with little Konohomaru, whom attempted to shove one of them into the deep, dark depths of his pants pocket. Ino sank her sharp beat into his hand, and the boy yelped, in the process releasing her. They fled, some half-flying (their winds being clipped) some running, under the protection of the kitchen table. "He. Must. Perish." Ino said through heavy breaths.

"Whatever."

"Totally!"

"I know."

"You deserved it, puny female."

Ino glared in the little red bird's direction, clearly upset with his use of words. "Well I never." She puffed up her chest in obvious disapproval.

"Oh put a cap on it, Ino." Itachi hissed, peeking out between two folds of the blue and white-checkered tablecloth. Choji shuttered, eyes automatically scanning the area for any sign of edible food. Since the cloth reached nearly to the floor, it was hard to find anything, minus a few pieces of lint.

'Food…' His stomach seemed to chant endlessly. Suddenly, he caught whiff of a mouth-watering smell. "THANK THE LORDS!" Choji said loudly while hurrying out from under the table.

"NO! CHOJI, WAIT!" Everyone begged, though of course not Gaara, to the little bird as he darted out into the open. And just after this, a large black cat started forward with glee.

"Yum, a little dessert." It, 'Orochimaru' read the yellow collar, pounced.

"EEK!" Itachi rushed forward, ignoring Sakura's squeak, to save the fellow bird. And the two broke into semi-combat, claws and talons poised.

"Stupid fur ball."

"Feather-covered insect."

"Those are so weak," Gaara muttered from the sidelines, earning a worried glance from Temari and Kankuro.

Ignoring this little interjection, the bird and feline were battling it out gruesomely. Though Orochimaru had much more of an advantage, being a cat, Itachi had, quote, "caused the death of half his family." A line of deep scarlet blood traced the cheekbone of the cat, and several feathers had been torn from Itachi's side by this time.

"Orochimaru! Oh, dear! Leave the little birdies alone!" The boy's mother shrieked as she kicked the cat away from Itachi just as he was about to strike again. Since everyone's wide eyes were on the giant breathing human, no one noticed a small, red and black bird slip away.

The cat went sailing five feet across the expanse of the room while letting out a shrill meow. "Aha! In your face, you stupid dog!" Naruto chirped happily, hoping that maybe, just maybe the cat would die on its journey across the room.

"It's a cat…"

"Yeah, I know but…" The yellow canary said while shrugging. If birds can shrug…

"Hey, anyone know where Gaara went?" Everyone only shrugged off the question with no's. Kankuro sighed and shook his head sharply before turning to Temari. "We should look for him—"

"AAAHHH! BIRD! GET IT AWAY!" A high-pitched voice squeaked.

"…I guess there's no need to," Itachi chuckled and darted off in the direction of the voice. They all followed with a hint of remorse. Why save Gaara? It'd be more interesting to see him eaten as a chicken than save his morbid hide. But then again, he scared away other unknown birds when they all had no idea what to do, so he was helpful sometimes. Also, he ate the bugs in the cage when it became overcrowded. That counted for something, right?

Ino wasn't in a very good mood. She kept twitching and flitting her wings to catch up to Sakura, whom was hurrying without reason. And right now the little yellow bird had a bad headache that threatened to cause trouble. Beside her, Shikamaru chirped a complaint yet again. "For the love of god, stop complaining!" He only droned on about how he had the right to complain, because Itachi was a slave driver.

Sasuke meanwhile was trying with difficulty to talk his brother out of saving Gaara. He himself had taken no liking to the red Tanager. It seemed that only Kankuro and Temari had a somewhat small soft spot for him, but how that was possible he didn't know. And why did Itachi want to look for him anyway? Probably because it was another way to get everyone to follow his orders and do as he bids. It was annoying how the older bird loved to order others around, but sometimes, in Shika's case, they needed it.

"Found 'im!" Naruto said loudly while half peering around a large corner in the hallway. You'd think someone would have stepped on them by now. The woman from before should've told their owner by now, right? They all hurried to the canary and looked around the corner as well. He said right. Not too far away sat a teenage girl with honey hair and crystal eyes, staring in horror at the red bird that had jumped up onto her desk. She seemed to have been writing something, but no longer.

Each of them was prepared to rush forward and drag Gaara back home to lock him in the cage, but Itachi sharply told them to stay quiet. Gaara cocked his head to the side and watched the girl, eyes gleaming viciously.

"I'm afraid of what could happen…" Kankuro commented. "I hope he doesn't dig her eyes out for pure entertainment with his nails." Now such criticism really bugged the Tanager, because despite his constant scariness, he couldn't really scratch someone's eyes out. But I don't think anyone knew that. So Gaara turned his head to Kankuro and began to argue. This would have been achieved, had the teen girl not grabbed him in her fist. She stared down at him, more with curiosity than anger at his sudden appearance. He bit into the skin of her thumb, but she wasn't fazed.

I bet you're wondering just where the hell all these people came from. Well technically the place that all these strange birds live in is a type of hotel. The cage is located on the bottommost floor, along with several occupied hotel rooms. The manager of this large company is also the owner and caretaker of the birds in which he takes great pride in. Now, he also lives at his hotel, just not on the first floor. Oh yeah, there are twelve floors in total, and the manager lives at the top, where it would take a pretty long time to go and get him and bring him back to round them all up. Especially if they split up to hide, like they planned on doing in an emergency.

If that didn't make any sense, that's okay, 'cause I don't expect it to.

All their wings are clipped, so it's pretty difficult for them to just jump up and fly out the window. If they could, believe me, they would have already.

Gaara shrieked and bit into her finger again, drawing Kankuro and Temari forward to protect their little 'friend.' Itachi hopped onto the chair that the girl had vacated to grab hold of Gaara, and he easily jumped onto her shoulder. When his sharp talons touched her clothed shoulder blade, she immediately screamed and dropped Gaara, who upon reaching ground, darted away. Itachi got hold of a stand of her luscious hair and twisted his head to yank hard. She screamed and swatted him off of her.

A loud shout was heard from somewhere out in the hall the parade of feathered creatures had just left, and Itachi, now screeching from his spot on the floor, became increasingly antsy. Time to scatter, most likely. He shouted orders at everyone, and they all split up, each darting in different directions.

"THEY GOT OUT AGAIN, GRANDPA!" The blond yelled ear piercingly loud as she barreled after Naruto and Kiba, both having partnered up with each other, not wanting to get lost.

"I'll kill them. I'll kill them. I'll kill them all. I swear I will. I'll kill them—"

"This is no time for voodoo! Gaara get your ass over here! You'll be stepped on!" Temari got a hold of his sleek, black left wing and dragged him off, Kankuro not far behind. Two different pairs of feet came running by, the whole hotel seeming to spring alive at the sound of the yells and chirps. Shikamaru was pulled along with Ino and Sakura, both of which were hyped up on the excitement. The olive bird only muttered more complaints, earning a glare from the two females.

Neji hurried off with Hinata, the two seeking shelter, seeing as they seemed to become trapped within a flurry of human feet the easiest. Sasuke was at Itachi's heels, and the two black-feathered birds had the upper hand, both being extremely good with speed and time. Naruto and Kiba were the best at hiding, though how, no one knew.

The two, canary and sparrow, somehow found themselves rushing through the lobby and in the direction of their jail. Now, Kiba and Naruto both despised that white wire home, but there really was nowhere else for the two to escape to. So they darted under chairs, and sofas, and desks, to reach the cage. Naruto flapped his clipped wings erratically once, earning a boost and hopping up onto the couch cushions. The little old lady who had seated herself just a few inches away dropped the knitting she had begun, and squeaked loudly. Yes, you heard me, squeaked. Naruto ignored her and hurried over her lap to get to the other side.

They were the first to reach home plate, pecking at the locked door, and wiggling through. Dropping onto the mulch-covered ground, they breathed normally for once since the little adventure had begun.

Itachi and Sasuke reached it next, both seeming more pissed off than scared. Someone had nearly stepped on them, and Itachi was grabbed at more than once. Sasuke was pissed off mainly because he knew this wouldn't have even happened, had Gaara stayed out of trouble.

Sakura, Ino, and Shika tumbled in soon after. Shikamaru muttered heatedly under his breath and jumped over to the water bowl. Ino and Sakura simply retired to a lone branch to talk. After that, Neji and Hinata hurried in, both shrieking about how unfair humans were. Choji had gotten there after the pair, not having been bothered by anyone, and gulped down food like it was his last lifeline. Sasuke glared at him. It was also Choji's fault the cat had attacked.

A rough twenty minutes later, Gaara and crew climbed up to the door, and thrust it open. "I'll fucking KILL them all. You know I will. I will, I will. I'll murder them and—"

Temari shook her head sympathetically and hurriedly beckoned him to go find a bug or something to bother. He twitched noticeably, but did as told. Sasuke, unbeknownst to everyone, slinked after the red bird.

And later, when everyone was peacefully listening to their owner scold them, Itachi realized his only brother was missing from the group. Scanning the area quickly with one sweep, he hopped down from a branch and began searching the cage. When he finally found him, he expected to see Gaara in a bloody mess on the ground. Actually, Sasuke being the one dead seemed more accurate, seeing as Gaara could be very violent when he wished. But he found neither one of them not not breathing, and that confused him.

Gaara was sitting near the big, wide window, with Sasuke next to him, and both didn't seem to mind each other. They just kind of sat there, staring at the setting sun, thinking of something completely different than the other. Itachi was disturbed by the prospect of the two getting along, but plainly this proved they were not upset with each other. The black bird lingered for a moment, debating whether it would be fun to scare the crap out of his kin by poking him. An image flashed in his mind of Sasuke gaining Gaara's friendship, and the two teaming up on him, a goal in mind to rip his pretty red eyes clear out of their sockets.

It'd be best to just leave him.

Itachi huffily left, still confused on the matter of Gaara actually having a real friend, Sasuke no less. When he got back to the spot he had vacated before, Kankuro was giving him the eye.

"You seem upset," he observed.

"Oh wouldn't you be surprised," Itachi muttered darkly. The purple bird instantly became interested in what could have irked Itachi so. Ignoring the plans that had started to form in his head, mostly being connected with an idea of how to get Itachi to speak, Kankuro wandered away to find Temari.

Everyone felt happy and exhausted from the days doings by the time their owner left to finish some paperwork. They each picked a spot in the humongous cage, curling up to get some sleep. Sasuke stayed near Gaara, the two suddenly the best of friends, which confused everyone to no end.

When the lot of them fell into a peaceful sleep, someone crept into the hotel, right by the cage, and into the lobby itself. Two others followed close behind, all like shadows covered in the darkness. When the three strangers stopped, the manager of the place flipped the switch on the wall, revealing them each in a bright light. They were teenagers, each about sixteen years old. One had bright yellow hair, one pink, and one black-blue. They stood there, the blond grinning like a fool.

"Ah, Naruto-kun. Nice to see you again. I was hoping you'd visit soon. What took you so long?" The old man grinned a little; skin folding with age, but the shine in his eyes was unmistakable.

"School's killing me…" he complained loudly, the pink-haired high school girl having to shush him. "And Sasuke here just had to reveal his real self so suddenly. You coulda warned me." Naruto narrowed his eyes, but Sasuke only smiled apologetically, though no words were offered. He was a silent kind of person. The girl chuckled softly to herself.

"Too bad, so sad. To think my years chasing after him would end up being worthless…" She shook her head, hair rolling over her shoulders.

Sasuke smirked. The blond picked up from before, "Hey, Gramps. Can you believe it? This sexy beast of a guy right here is gay." The old man only laughed heartily, but still keeping quiet, not wanting to wake the occupants of the hotel.

"Everyone is different, Naruto. You got your girl in the end, didn't you though?" He smiled, eyes shut, at the youths and the boy blushed a pale pink color.

Sasuke stayed quiet, brooding over the fact that his boyfriend couldn't come on the late night visit with them all. He turned away slowly as his friends struck up a whispered conversation, eyes scanning the lobby. His black eyes landed on the birdcage, and with curiosity, he walked toward it. Reaching it, Sasuke looped his pale fingers around the white wire and peered in. It was indeed occupied by birds of many colors, but he couldn't really see them all in the dull light. A bright red color shone through the dark, and he squinted his eyes to see better.

When he was finally able to make out what it was, a ghost of a smile touched his lips. The little red bird was fast asleep, soft chest rising and falling in a slow rhythm. The black wings matched oh-so-perfectly with the bird on his right, the bird who was asleep beside him. Sasuke felt something tug at his heartfor the two birds, but he pushed it down, and wandered back into the lobby to his friends. When Naruto had finished his little visit, they left happily.

Sasuke would be sure to visit again some time soon, if only to see that red little bird. And maybe next time he'd bring Gaara along with him.

Fin

Aha, I bet you get the twist now, eh? Like it? Review! Flames accepted, just don't go out of your way to make me feel bad. I'll probably just flame you right back. And besides, why flame when you can just not read the story in the first place?

I bet you all will never look at a bird the same again.

Holy damn I'm insane...