herp a derp first ToS fanfic. Oh wow i hope i got that whole "HURGH EMO DADDY" feel.
Kratos Aurion was not a happy being. This could be said as a general statement; it was not as if this particular moment made him any more emotional. The auburn-haired man was never really fond of much anything; so he was never excited. He indeed had a quick temper, but had learned to control it years ago. Yet while he was with Lloyd and the young man's allies, he couldn't help but feel a certain happiness. Lloyd was his only son, yes, this was certain to make him happy. But Kratos had first-handedly seen what Lloyd had accomplished before he had even turned twenty years of age. He was proud; more than one man should ever be allowed to be. This feeling never went away over the years, for Lloyd just seemed to come up with new ways to save a village, or rescue Collette from an untimely demise, or even just helping Genis growing up. Kratos was impresses with his son.
Lloyd seemed to bring an onslaught of emotions that only Anna had brought the past. It was a mixture of fatherly love and hope for Lloyd, hope for the future of the new world. This was what made Kratos happy now. Before, it had been the slightest hope that Anna and the infant Lloyd had been alive. And even before that, hope that he would succeed as an angel, bringing peace where his higher ups did not. Why, he did not know, but hope kept popping up wherever he traveled. In rebuilding cities, with pregnant mothers, with children on the streets, hoping to achieve their dreams.
While Kratos did not dream any longer, he often did have to pretend to. When he closed his eyes to pretend a moment's rest, he imagined his dreams. He tried creating his own. Yet Kratos's dreams had grown weary. The same dreams over and over again - Kratos, having to slay his own wife. This terrible memory haunted him and forever would. How he wished that for just one night, be could close his eyes and not see the face of Anna in terror, hear her screaming voice. He wanted to conjure images of her laughing and running through sand on the beach. He wanted to see her face glowing with pride when she saw her newborn for the first time. But all he could ever see was that terrible nightmare.
Overall, general feelings were not really easy for Kratos. Yet he often felt traces of pride, hope and love - all human emotions other angels claimed they missed dearly. Why was he the only one that was lucky enough to feel these emotions? And why, oh why was he only one tortured enough to feel guilt, hatred and loss as well?