I stand here, overlooking the sea, and I see it, I see his ship in the bay. I see it, just as I remembered it. It's still the same, but HE's different.
My eyes glance upon a petite woman, dressed in yellow with a slight buldge in her stomach. I can see it. I can see the ilfe within her. I know what it will be. I know it will be a weak child, much like it's mother, weak and pathetic. I know it will have problems surviving. I know he's laid in the same bed with her. I know he's touched her. I know that he has betrayed me.
I look down and touch my buldging stomach, my red curls falling down, it will be time soon enough.
My child, you will grow up never knowing who your fatherw was. But her child will. My child you will never know where you came from, who your family was. My child, I will tell you everything when the time is right. I will tell you who your father was. I will tell you how you came to be. I will tell you that Sinbad killed your father, because he did.
I can see the small long boats trying to reach shore. My child, I will not damn you the same way I was. I will not abandon you, I will give you all the love my heart has to offer. You and you alone will have it, no one else. My child I know what you will be. A girl.
I can see Dermott on HER arm. Still perching, still cursed, damned to his eternal prison. I see that he is doomed. I was to release him. But I cannot now. Perhpaps you will my child, you will free Dermott. All my powers are for you my child. Take them, absolve them, use them. Do what I could not. Do what I was meant to do.
I turn away from the sea. I do not wish to gaze upon the blue waters anymore. Blue waters, blue eyes, the eyes of my betrayer.
My child, please understand that what I do now, is out of love for you. Understand that your father is dead. Understand that you will have to grow up without his love, the same way I've endured. You will be strong. You will grow up and see...see all the things...then you will understand...
I feel the long blades of green grass brush against my clothes. My dark cloak has eveloped me, covered my body.
"Mistress! Mistress!"
I turn my head and see the boy from the village running, panting as he tries to reach me. His hair falls into his green eyes. He finally manages to catch his breath. He opens his mouth, but before he says anything, I motion my hand.
"They mean no harm. Tell the villagers that their protecter will see them in the village. Greet them, they are just passing through"
I motion for the boy to leave, he nodds obeying me and runs back to the village. I look down at my buldging stomach. My child, you will have to wait just a bit longer. I want to bring you into a world where you will be surrounded by love. Love of the purest, untainted, and unconditional.
They are here, I can feel it, I can feel him. I want to wash this feeling away, be clean of it, of him forever, but I can't. The protector they call me. I protect the village from raiders and invaders. Who would have thought that a woman would be the village's protecter? Who would have thought that she would plump up in 8 months time? I knew it was his, it had to be his.
My child, understand the things I say, the things I do. Your father no longer exists. My love no longer exists. Trapped in this void unable to break free, we are both damned here, betrayed by the same person we both trusted.
I can feel the tears forming in my eyes. I close them and pull them back. I cannot do this now. The protector has to meet the visiters. I whistle for my steed, a beautiful black steed. I climb up and we head back to the village.
My child, he has betrayed us both. I will not let him harm you ever again. I want to make him suffer, to feel what he has done to me. Force this feeling of emptiness, of anger, of utter betrayal down his throat, and hold his mouth shut so it can rot inside him.
I look down, I feel my child, she's kicking. I cannot feel this hatred and anger now, but I do. I want him to hurt, to break and bleed. I want him to feel the stabbing pain that won't stop, the piercing wound that won't heal. I want him to hurt...the same way I hurt....
My steed makes its way to the village. The people part like the seas for me. They clear the way for me, clearing a path towards them, to him. Let me borrow some magic child, only for a short while. The hood on my cloak is drawn over my face before they can see me. My bulging stomach disappears as I pull my cloak tighter around me.
"It's the protector!" the villager yells out
Yes it's the protector, yes I am here, to protect you from the evil that you cannot because you are weak and frail. Let me do all the work, let me do everything, you just sit there, while I sweat and break my back. Let me make everything easy for you, while you just saunter in with your weak and pathetic eyes and short yellow dress. Let me do everything....
"Hello" he says to me
His voice, even now, pierces me down to my soul. Damn him. But I won't falter, I won't give him that satisfaction. And in my stern voice I reply. "State your business"
"We are just passing through. My ship needs to make a few repairs. We'll be gone in a day or two. We were hoping to find a place to get a hot meal"
"Tavern's that way" I point, unmoved
"Thank you..." he waits for my name
"I am the Protector of this village, that is all you need to know" I turn my horse and start to leave.
But then I hear it. A piercing screech above. Dermott. He knows who I am. I cannot hide myself from him. He will always know where I am.
He swoops down and perches near me. I flapps his wings at me, demanding that I say something. I block him from my thoughts, and ride on. The only family I have is my child, my child, not his...nothing will ever be his again...nothing...
Dermott persued me. He wouldn't let up until I acknowledged him. I wouldn't. He flew to me, to my hood and sank his talons into it, pulling it back. I reached for it but it was too late. My red curls spilled out. I didn't turn around for he would see my face, and then it would be over. No, not today. My child, you will be protected from him. For today and forever.
Dermott squawked at me even more. I wouldn't not even look at him.
"Something's wrong with Dermott" the petite girl said
My what a quick one she is. She doesn't know anything about him, yet she orders him around like her personal pet. But no matter, this does not concern me anymore. I pull my hood back on and continue on my way
"Could it be?" I recgonize Doubar's voice
I sense that they will soon realize who I am. I tell my steed to speed up.
"MAEVE!" his voice echoed in my mind, blaring through my ears.
I didn't turn back, my steed had already known what to do. I held onto the reins and rode into the forest. My child, I know this is a bumpy ride for you. Please just hold on a bit more. It will all be over soon. I can hear the hooves of another horse behind me. I know it's him, only he would have the audacity to follow. Only he would dare such a thing.
I hear him screaming out my name. Like he did before, like the last time I heard it, when he dove in after me, and gave up. I remember the salt water claiming my lungs. I remember reaching out into the darkness, into nothing. I remember everything.
I won't let him do it again. I won't let him. My child will not suffer at his hands. My child will be everything that I failed to be.
I loved him once, and it made me weak. Weak that he destroyed the last shred of hope I had left. That left me open to any other attacks, the betrayals, the decit, the lies, to everything.
I don't look back, I don't turn and see what once was, what will never be.
We've reached the clearing, we're on open fields. I know he's still behind me. He never gives up when it comes to women. That was the greatest flaw that I failed to acknowledge, that would be the tool he would use against me.
My child, I can feel you inside me. I can feel you breathe, sleep, and move. I can feel your little heart beating. I swear I will never let him close enough to hurt you. I swear it.
I feel am arm on me. It pulls at me. I struggle, but it is too strong. He pulls me away, but the speed of my horse knocks me to the ground. He let go. The b**tard let go. Seems that's what he's good at these days. I look up and see a pair of black boots. I see black pants, rather tight, a vest, a shirt, his face. HIS FACE!
"Maeve!" he bends down to hug me
I keep him at an arms distance and I try to get up. He cannot see my buldging stomach. I pull the cloak around me tightly. I do not want to look into those eyes, the eyes of my betrayer.
"Maeve, is it you?"
I do not want to answer him. I feel this layer of filth building on my skin. It makes it crawl. His presence is making me sick.
He reaches for my hair, I'll have to cut it afterwards. His hands are trembling as he realizes that I am real and not some dream he has.
"By Allah it is you!"
I look up, damn him for making me look up, into those eyes. I feel as if I'm drowning and I can't breathe again, like the first time he betrayed me. I cannot do this now. I don't have the energy. Just leave me along and go back to your ship, to her. I turn and look away.
"Maeve...." he whispers
His face, even after all this time is still the same, he's still beautiful as he will always be. But he no longer has the face of an angel, with that boyish charm. He now has the face of a man, who's lost the child like innocence, the faith in all that is good. But his eyes, his eyes are still the same, the same piercing ones that penetrate deep into my soul. That break down every barrier that I put up. Damn him for that.
I want this to end, but I can't stop it.
"Maeve, is it you? Is it really you?" he asks me as if he was truly concerned
I look up, my eyes locked with his. I can feel the ice forming around us. Cold and bitter, filled with resentment. He reaches towards me, I grab his wrist and flip him back onto the ground.
"Do not touch the protector"
"Protector? Maeve, don't you remember us?" he looks up from the ground, confused.
"I know who you are captain. Your adventures are legendary, a bit pompus but the people speak of you. I have duties that I have to attend to"
"Maeve!"
"Do not call me that!" I yell at him, he dares to call out my name, even after everything, he thinks he has the right to. I call for my steed, and it returns. I climb up.
"Where are you going?"
"I have certain duties I must fufill" I turn my horse and ride off.
I hear the hooves of another horse behind me. I see that he is persistant. Like a vulture flying over it's prey. He will not leave me alone, this much I know. He will continue to torment me until he is happy. Until he gets his answers, until he gets his satisfaction.
I am tired, keeping up this illusion is draining me and my child. I head back to the village. I need to rest, I need to get away from him.
He blabbles something to me, I do not pay attention. I do not care what he has to say. I do not wish to hear anymore of the excrement spewing from his mouth. I do not wish for anything anymore excpet for quiet solace, so I may be with my child. My child, and only mine.
I see that the villagers are being rather friendly with the crew. They are always friendly when I tell them they mean no harm. I see her standing there, looking into the heavens for Dermott. She doesn't know, she doesn't know anything. Nor will she ever.
She is my replacement. I can see she is weak and frail, and has little control over her powers. I can see that she cannot feel anything from Dermott. I can see that she is in love with him, and obeys him. She is submissive perhaps that is why he choose her. That I will never know.
I hear a screech from above. I see a brown hawk above me. I hear him calling to me. My child, let me borrow a little bit more power so I may be rid of them forever. I feel a slight kick. I raise my arm up, a blue light surrounds my wrist as he sits down.
*Sister!*
*Aye it is me*
I look down and see the crew all with their mouths gaping open staring at me. I suppose they are in shock after seeing me. None the less, I pet Dermott's soft feathers and try to smile, though it doesn't work.
"Yes it is me. You can all close your mouths now"
I hear the horse stide up beside me. I know he is there, next to me, waiting for me to say something. My eyes fall upon her. She seems suprised that Dermott came to me and not her. And she seems even more surprised that I did not need the gauntlet.
I sense that he is trying to say something. He opens his mouth but before he says anything, I cut him off and say it.
"Congratulations, you are with child" I say staring at her in the eyes
"How, how did you know?" she seems truly amazed
"It shows, you have been carrying it for 2 months now?"
"I haven't told anyone that!" She covers her stomach protectively, as if I were going to harm her. HE seems truly suprised, as he climbs down from his horse.
"Is this true?" he questions her
"Yes, I am, I didn't know how to tell you" she studders
I sigh. She is so weak, and fraile. How can her body sustain another life? It does not matter to me. All that matters is my child. My child that will grow up without a father. My child that will never feel love from anyone but me. My child you have a long hard road ahead of you, but I will be there for you always.
Dermott chirps, and I release him. He flies off to his new mistress. The crew has all gathered around her, the petite little one. I take the reins and head off, they don't seem to notice, or care. They haven't noticed or cared since I've been gone, they stopped searching for me, looking for me, forgot about me period, as if I were erased from their memory. That I was just a ghost, that just slowly faded away. So now the ghost is disappearing again, and no one cares. Typical for men.
I enter my house and drop the illusion. I can see my buldging stomach again. My fingers run along my stomach as I can feel her inside me growing. I remember when she started to grow inside me. she was so tiny, and I was so pitiful back then, so weak, a wretched being crying over what was never meant to be. But my child, she gave me strength she have me back the power I had lost to HIM. She gave me the one thing he couldn't. Love. My child, thank you for being here with me, thank you for giving me the strength, courage and power to go on, to face him.
But you will never see his face, or know who or what he was. He will never exist for you. You will have that empty void in your heart that only he can fill, but you will live on without it. My child, his love will be but a disappointment to you. It will last as long as the morning glory blooms, a short, unlasting time. It will bring you a flash of joy for a moment, and then fade away into oblivian. It's not worth it, his love is worthless to us both. He swirls his love around you with his silky words, building you up, carrying you towards the heavens only to drop you and let you fall. Only to let you down. My child his love has been nothing but a disappointment. It is something you can do without. That we both can do without.
His silky words slither around you, making their way into your soul. His words are meaningless, he has no heart to back it up with. Like cheap paper toys that rip and break, those are the worth of his words. Like jewels made from glass and paste, those are the worth of his promises. And like the rise and set of the sun, that is what forever means to him.
His love has been nothing but a disappointment to me, to us. And it always will be. My only regret was not knowing before I laid down with him.... I can see the sun's rays rise up now my child. Warm golden rays, rising up to greet us. I can feel you my child. I can sense everything.
A new dawn, a new day, a new beginning. He is persistant, this morning he came by to see me, damn him. I almost forgot about you my child...but then again he was to engulfed in his own self to notice me shift my shape. I watched him rambling on about something, about the crew, about Dermott, about HER. Someday you will ache like I ache. My child, he will ache and burn and wither into nothing. He only likes us now cause he likes to us break. But I won't give him that joy.
He thinks he can just whisk in here, and act as if everything is alright? He is annoying me. He is making me blood boil, which not good for you my child. I want him out of here, why doesn't he just leave, like he always does. Sail off without me, leave me there in the ocean...why doesn't he leave me now? B**tard.
"Maeve?" he asks pulling me out of my train of thought
"What?" I reply slightly annoyed
"Are you listening?"
"Must I? You saunter in here, wake me up, and you expect me to be all chipper and entertain You?!"
"I'm sorry Maeve..."
"Just leave me be"
"We have so much to talk about Maeve"
"We don't have anything to talk about"
"Maeve..."
"I am NOT the person you thought you knew."
"Why are you so mad?"
Why am I so mad? Why? WHY? He dares ask me WHY? I'll tell you why!
"Why did you leave me there? Why did you sail off without me?! Why did you never look for me? Why Sinbad? TELL ME WHY?!" I screamed it out so loud that I can feel my lungs collapse on themselves.
I can see the pain in his eyes, I can see that I've finally hurt him, slightly, but still hurt him. I've inflicted the wound, now I have to make it bigger, and bloodier, until I can rub the salt in.
And now I see the pathetic tears form in his eyes. He starts to cry, mumbling out something. I can't decipher what he's sobbing out. I touch my stomach. My child, he is so pathetic, do you want to acknowledge him as your father? Do I want to acknowledge him?
I turn my back to him, I can't stand looking at him anymore. My betrayer cries, perhaps he hurts, perhaps he aches, perhaps he cares, perhaps but it is all too late now. I look out the window, and I see the crew standing there, talking, laughing. They don't seem to know what's going on. They all surround her, as they try to pet her stomach.
I look down at my stomach. Is it time yet? No my child, not yet. If you come now, he will never leave. NEVER. He will demand his rights to you even though he has none, he destroyed them when he abandoned us. He will never leave, he will haunt us. He will never stop until he gets what he wants. He never lets up. But then I feel these arms wrap around me. Damn him! His arms, the same arms I felt safe and warm in, are lik suffocating me, they surround me as he grips onto me.
"I'm sorry Maeve, I tried. I tried so hard, but I couldn't"
I grit my teeth, how dare he. How dare he say he tried when he didn't! All those ports with all those women! And not once did he even ask for me, to look around in search of me. He knew where Caperia was! He never looked back. His arms pull me closer to him. He rests his head on my shoulder, and cries.
"You're making me shirt wet"
His hands trail down and reach my stomach. NO! But it's too late. I break free of him. Damn him, he knows now.
"Maeve, why is your stomach-"
"Off with you!" I send him flying back onto the wall.
I can't maintain the illusion anymore. Being that I am using more magic, I have to drop the unecesarry things now. My child, give me the strenth to survive this.
"Maeve! You're-"
"I know what I am Sinbad!"
"But how, who?"
"I think you should know that by now!"
"By Allah!"
"Allah has nothing to do with me Sinbad! You already have a child! It's out there with HER! In HER body!"
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"Tell you what? That I failed the final test? That because of that I will never be a sorceress? That my magic will always be weak and pathetic!"
"Maeve..."
"She is MY child Sinbad, MY child and MINE alone. You lost all rights to her when you abandoned us, both of us"
"No, no, you can't-"
"I am! And I have! You're the reason why I failed. You were my final test"
I raise my arms up, I feel the energy building up. The door opens and I send him flying out. The door slams shut behind him. The energy is wild and going out of control. I don't think I can control it. The shutters of the windows fly open and then shut. I hear muffled screams from the outside banging on the door.
I can feel it. I collapse down onto the ground. I look down at my stomach, the white light emerges. I scream out in agony, I feel as if my insides are being torn apart. The energy ball is out of control, the winds like a hurricane pick up everything and throw it around the room. Flashes of bright light. Lightening, thunder, crashes, it feels as if all my senses are haywire.
I can feel her, I feel her coming. My child, enter this world, pure and free. I feel the the thick layer of sweat on me. I feel my loins about to cave in on themselves. By the Gods!
I hear her crying. She's alive! She's here! I try to sit up, but I ache too much. I struggle with myself and do, I reach my child my beautiful, innocent child. She is so beautiful. Hair like mine, her eyes still shut, but I know her what her eyes will be like, who her eyes will be like. I wipe the jelly liquid on her off. I kiss her on her forehead.
"Welcome my Child" I kiss her before I see them break down the door.
"Maeve!" he yells out
I am too weak to fight him, all of them. I try to back away, but I can't. All my muscles hurt, cramp, ache. He reaches down and take her from me. NO! I won't lose her not to you! Not ever!
"NO! Give her back!" I scream out as he takes her from me.
"Firouz take a look at her." He stands there next to HER
She leans over to see my child. I cannot bear to watch but must. I see him hold her, I see him hand her over to HER.
"DAMN YOU! GIVE ME BACK MY BABY!" I scream out but Firouz holds me down
He just looks at me. How dare he!? How dare he take her from me? how dare he take her and give her to HER? How dare he! MY betrayer rips her, MY child from me, and he dares to give it to HER? Is personal concubine? F**k him! F**k all of them!
With my last ounce of strength, I push Firouz away. I chant the spell I dreaded, but had to. I wouldn't lose her, I wouldn't lose to her to anyone. My child understand what I'm doing. Understand that it's better this way. Please understand!
The room swells up with smoke, swirling around. The spell is working. My child, I see her, I see her float towards me. They stand there amazed. My child, come to me. I hold her again in my arms. I kiss her again. I send a blast throughout the room like a wave of energy, sending them back against the wall. Stay there! I chant the last part of the spell. My child floats up. I feel myself get lighter. I see the blue orb from inside me rise up. Rise up, rise up.
It leaves me, I see it enter her tiny body. My magic, it's all in her now. The last part of the spell is almost complete.
"I love you my child"
The flashes of light are blinding, but then they stop. I see my fingers, I see myself, I see myself disappearing. I see myself fading like the first time. I look up, I see her, I see the light envelope her. Slowly her tiny arms and legs stretch out more. Her torso expands, her head, her fingers, everything. She's growing, while I'm fading, into nothing.
I see her, she's growing. She's so beautiful. My child, I love you so much. Please understand, understand.
I'm watching the expressions on his face. You will never take her away. You will never have the chance to hurt her. You will never! NEVER! I see her, her body falls down onto the wooden boards. She looks up at me, with those eyes. My betrayer's eyes.
"Mommy, don't leave me!" she reaches for me, but it's too late.
I fade away into oblivian. I cannot protect her now, she has the power within herself. Where it's always been.
"Be strong my child. You have the power within you. He'll never hurt you, never"
"Mommy!"
"I love you"
"NO! Don't leave me!"
"The power is within you, do what I could not, be what I couldn't, be everything and anything"
"MOMMY!"
My child, so young and innocent, she's aged so much, she's only a day old, but she's in the body of a 15 year old. She will protect herself from him, she will be able to, she has my magic, my strength, my love. She will be able to do anything. She will escape him.
"Be strong my child"
"I will Mommy, please don't leave me!"
"I am always with you, always...always my child....always Ceara"
Darkness....
The light had faded from the room, the magic was gone. Her magic was gone, she was gone. I look up through my new eyes and see for the first time. I pick myself up from the ground, from where she once lay. Mommy, why did you leave me? Why? I feel a hand on my body. I look up and see who it is. I pull back, still naked and covered with the fluid of my mother I back away.
"Don't be afraid" he says
His eyes, his eyes are so familiar, where do I know them from? My head hurts, it pounds, like nails exploding inside my skull.
Memories, images, voices, what are they? What do they all mean?
Her words, I remember all her words to me, when I was still inside her, protected and surrounded by her.
"You are Sinbad" I say my first words
"Yes" he replies
I get up, wobblely my first steps, I get up and walk. A fat man grabs a fabric and pulls it arund me. I suppose that my naked body would draw some attention.
"Who are you?"
I look up, it's HER. I see her dark hair fall upon her shoulders and I can see the life within her. My weak half sibling.
"I am Ceara, daughter of Maeve" I reply coldly to the little wench, that dared to take me from my mother's arms only moments after I entered this world. Wretched wench!
My mind, it hurts, it aches, it fills with knowledge, knowledge from my mother. I feel her memories, her joys, her passions, her losses. I feel it all. I need to be cleaned up, this jelly stuff is sticking to me. I head out the door, I see my mother's steed, waiting there for her, but senses that she's left already. I climb up on her, this is like all the other times except this time I hold the reins, and hopefully you can hear me.
"Wait! Where are you going?" he asks as he runs out of the house
I do not reply, he doesn't deserve an answer, he doesn't deserve anything from me ever again. He abandoned her, us, for HER, that pathetic, frail weak little being. He chose her over us. He didn't love us, he never did. He is incapable of love, of anything. In a blink of an eye is how long his love lasted...just a blink.
The steed takes me where it wants to go. It takes me to a lake, so peaceful and beautiful. I climb down and enter the water. It's cold, but the water surrounds me. I feel it start to warm up, it surrounds me. It feels like I'm back inside her, safe and warm.
Can you hear me? Can you? Can you see me? Can you see that I'm alright? That I got away? That I will be free of him? Can you?
My eyes glance upon a petite woman, dressed in yellow with a slight buldge in her stomach. I can see it. I can see the ilfe within her. I know what it will be. I know it will be a weak child, much like it's mother, weak and pathetic. I know it will have problems surviving. I know he's laid in the same bed with her. I know he's touched her. I know that he has betrayed me.
I look down and touch my buldging stomach, my red curls falling down, it will be time soon enough.
My child, you will grow up never knowing who your fatherw was. But her child will. My child you will never know where you came from, who your family was. My child, I will tell you everything when the time is right. I will tell you who your father was. I will tell you how you came to be. I will tell you that Sinbad killed your father, because he did.
I can see the small long boats trying to reach shore. My child, I will not damn you the same way I was. I will not abandon you, I will give you all the love my heart has to offer. You and you alone will have it, no one else. My child I know what you will be. A girl.
I can see Dermott on HER arm. Still perching, still cursed, damned to his eternal prison. I see that he is doomed. I was to release him. But I cannot now. Perhpaps you will my child, you will free Dermott. All my powers are for you my child. Take them, absolve them, use them. Do what I could not. Do what I was meant to do.
I turn away from the sea. I do not wish to gaze upon the blue waters anymore. Blue waters, blue eyes, the eyes of my betrayer.
My child, please understand that what I do now, is out of love for you. Understand that your father is dead. Understand that you will have to grow up without his love, the same way I've endured. You will be strong. You will grow up and see...see all the things...then you will understand...
I feel the long blades of green grass brush against my clothes. My dark cloak has eveloped me, covered my body.
"Mistress! Mistress!"
I turn my head and see the boy from the village running, panting as he tries to reach me. His hair falls into his green eyes. He finally manages to catch his breath. He opens his mouth, but before he says anything, I motion my hand.
"They mean no harm. Tell the villagers that their protecter will see them in the village. Greet them, they are just passing through"
I motion for the boy to leave, he nodds obeying me and runs back to the village. I look down at my buldging stomach. My child, you will have to wait just a bit longer. I want to bring you into a world where you will be surrounded by love. Love of the purest, untainted, and unconditional.
They are here, I can feel it, I can feel him. I want to wash this feeling away, be clean of it, of him forever, but I can't. The protector they call me. I protect the village from raiders and invaders. Who would have thought that a woman would be the village's protecter? Who would have thought that she would plump up in 8 months time? I knew it was his, it had to be his.
My child, understand the things I say, the things I do. Your father no longer exists. My love no longer exists. Trapped in this void unable to break free, we are both damned here, betrayed by the same person we both trusted.
I can feel the tears forming in my eyes. I close them and pull them back. I cannot do this now. The protector has to meet the visiters. I whistle for my steed, a beautiful black steed. I climb up and we head back to the village.
My child, he has betrayed us both. I will not let him harm you ever again. I want to make him suffer, to feel what he has done to me. Force this feeling of emptiness, of anger, of utter betrayal down his throat, and hold his mouth shut so it can rot inside him.
I look down, I feel my child, she's kicking. I cannot feel this hatred and anger now, but I do. I want him to hurt, to break and bleed. I want him to feel the stabbing pain that won't stop, the piercing wound that won't heal. I want him to hurt...the same way I hurt....
My steed makes its way to the village. The people part like the seas for me. They clear the way for me, clearing a path towards them, to him. Let me borrow some magic child, only for a short while. The hood on my cloak is drawn over my face before they can see me. My bulging stomach disappears as I pull my cloak tighter around me.
"It's the protector!" the villager yells out
Yes it's the protector, yes I am here, to protect you from the evil that you cannot because you are weak and frail. Let me do all the work, let me do everything, you just sit there, while I sweat and break my back. Let me make everything easy for you, while you just saunter in with your weak and pathetic eyes and short yellow dress. Let me do everything....
"Hello" he says to me
His voice, even now, pierces me down to my soul. Damn him. But I won't falter, I won't give him that satisfaction. And in my stern voice I reply. "State your business"
"We are just passing through. My ship needs to make a few repairs. We'll be gone in a day or two. We were hoping to find a place to get a hot meal"
"Tavern's that way" I point, unmoved
"Thank you..." he waits for my name
"I am the Protector of this village, that is all you need to know" I turn my horse and start to leave.
But then I hear it. A piercing screech above. Dermott. He knows who I am. I cannot hide myself from him. He will always know where I am.
He swoops down and perches near me. I flapps his wings at me, demanding that I say something. I block him from my thoughts, and ride on. The only family I have is my child, my child, not his...nothing will ever be his again...nothing...
Dermott persued me. He wouldn't let up until I acknowledged him. I wouldn't. He flew to me, to my hood and sank his talons into it, pulling it back. I reached for it but it was too late. My red curls spilled out. I didn't turn around for he would see my face, and then it would be over. No, not today. My child, you will be protected from him. For today and forever.
Dermott squawked at me even more. I wouldn't not even look at him.
"Something's wrong with Dermott" the petite girl said
My what a quick one she is. She doesn't know anything about him, yet she orders him around like her personal pet. But no matter, this does not concern me anymore. I pull my hood back on and continue on my way
"Could it be?" I recgonize Doubar's voice
I sense that they will soon realize who I am. I tell my steed to speed up.
"MAEVE!" his voice echoed in my mind, blaring through my ears.
I didn't turn back, my steed had already known what to do. I held onto the reins and rode into the forest. My child, I know this is a bumpy ride for you. Please just hold on a bit more. It will all be over soon. I can hear the hooves of another horse behind me. I know it's him, only he would have the audacity to follow. Only he would dare such a thing.
I hear him screaming out my name. Like he did before, like the last time I heard it, when he dove in after me, and gave up. I remember the salt water claiming my lungs. I remember reaching out into the darkness, into nothing. I remember everything.
I won't let him do it again. I won't let him. My child will not suffer at his hands. My child will be everything that I failed to be.
I loved him once, and it made me weak. Weak that he destroyed the last shred of hope I had left. That left me open to any other attacks, the betrayals, the decit, the lies, to everything.
I don't look back, I don't turn and see what once was, what will never be.
We've reached the clearing, we're on open fields. I know he's still behind me. He never gives up when it comes to women. That was the greatest flaw that I failed to acknowledge, that would be the tool he would use against me.
My child, I can feel you inside me. I can feel you breathe, sleep, and move. I can feel your little heart beating. I swear I will never let him close enough to hurt you. I swear it.
I feel am arm on me. It pulls at me. I struggle, but it is too strong. He pulls me away, but the speed of my horse knocks me to the ground. He let go. The b**tard let go. Seems that's what he's good at these days. I look up and see a pair of black boots. I see black pants, rather tight, a vest, a shirt, his face. HIS FACE!
"Maeve!" he bends down to hug me
I keep him at an arms distance and I try to get up. He cannot see my buldging stomach. I pull the cloak around me tightly. I do not want to look into those eyes, the eyes of my betrayer.
"Maeve, is it you?"
I do not want to answer him. I feel this layer of filth building on my skin. It makes it crawl. His presence is making me sick.
He reaches for my hair, I'll have to cut it afterwards. His hands are trembling as he realizes that I am real and not some dream he has.
"By Allah it is you!"
I look up, damn him for making me look up, into those eyes. I feel as if I'm drowning and I can't breathe again, like the first time he betrayed me. I cannot do this now. I don't have the energy. Just leave me along and go back to your ship, to her. I turn and look away.
"Maeve...." he whispers
His face, even after all this time is still the same, he's still beautiful as he will always be. But he no longer has the face of an angel, with that boyish charm. He now has the face of a man, who's lost the child like innocence, the faith in all that is good. But his eyes, his eyes are still the same, the same piercing ones that penetrate deep into my soul. That break down every barrier that I put up. Damn him for that.
I want this to end, but I can't stop it.
"Maeve, is it you? Is it really you?" he asks me as if he was truly concerned
I look up, my eyes locked with his. I can feel the ice forming around us. Cold and bitter, filled with resentment. He reaches towards me, I grab his wrist and flip him back onto the ground.
"Do not touch the protector"
"Protector? Maeve, don't you remember us?" he looks up from the ground, confused.
"I know who you are captain. Your adventures are legendary, a bit pompus but the people speak of you. I have duties that I have to attend to"
"Maeve!"
"Do not call me that!" I yell at him, he dares to call out my name, even after everything, he thinks he has the right to. I call for my steed, and it returns. I climb up.
"Where are you going?"
"I have certain duties I must fufill" I turn my horse and ride off.
I hear the hooves of another horse behind me. I see that he is persistant. Like a vulture flying over it's prey. He will not leave me alone, this much I know. He will continue to torment me until he is happy. Until he gets his answers, until he gets his satisfaction.
I am tired, keeping up this illusion is draining me and my child. I head back to the village. I need to rest, I need to get away from him.
He blabbles something to me, I do not pay attention. I do not care what he has to say. I do not wish to hear anymore of the excrement spewing from his mouth. I do not wish for anything anymore excpet for quiet solace, so I may be with my child. My child, and only mine.
I see that the villagers are being rather friendly with the crew. They are always friendly when I tell them they mean no harm. I see her standing there, looking into the heavens for Dermott. She doesn't know, she doesn't know anything. Nor will she ever.
She is my replacement. I can see she is weak and frail, and has little control over her powers. I can see that she cannot feel anything from Dermott. I can see that she is in love with him, and obeys him. She is submissive perhaps that is why he choose her. That I will never know.
I hear a screech from above. I see a brown hawk above me. I hear him calling to me. My child, let me borrow a little bit more power so I may be rid of them forever. I feel a slight kick. I raise my arm up, a blue light surrounds my wrist as he sits down.
*Sister!*
*Aye it is me*
I look down and see the crew all with their mouths gaping open staring at me. I suppose they are in shock after seeing me. None the less, I pet Dermott's soft feathers and try to smile, though it doesn't work.
"Yes it is me. You can all close your mouths now"
I hear the horse stide up beside me. I know he is there, next to me, waiting for me to say something. My eyes fall upon her. She seems suprised that Dermott came to me and not her. And she seems even more surprised that I did not need the gauntlet.
I sense that he is trying to say something. He opens his mouth but before he says anything, I cut him off and say it.
"Congratulations, you are with child" I say staring at her in the eyes
"How, how did you know?" she seems truly amazed
"It shows, you have been carrying it for 2 months now?"
"I haven't told anyone that!" She covers her stomach protectively, as if I were going to harm her. HE seems truly suprised, as he climbs down from his horse.
"Is this true?" he questions her
"Yes, I am, I didn't know how to tell you" she studders
I sigh. She is so weak, and fraile. How can her body sustain another life? It does not matter to me. All that matters is my child. My child that will grow up without a father. My child that will never feel love from anyone but me. My child you have a long hard road ahead of you, but I will be there for you always.
Dermott chirps, and I release him. He flies off to his new mistress. The crew has all gathered around her, the petite little one. I take the reins and head off, they don't seem to notice, or care. They haven't noticed or cared since I've been gone, they stopped searching for me, looking for me, forgot about me period, as if I were erased from their memory. That I was just a ghost, that just slowly faded away. So now the ghost is disappearing again, and no one cares. Typical for men.
I enter my house and drop the illusion. I can see my buldging stomach again. My fingers run along my stomach as I can feel her inside me growing. I remember when she started to grow inside me. she was so tiny, and I was so pitiful back then, so weak, a wretched being crying over what was never meant to be. But my child, she gave me strength she have me back the power I had lost to HIM. She gave me the one thing he couldn't. Love. My child, thank you for being here with me, thank you for giving me the strength, courage and power to go on, to face him.
But you will never see his face, or know who or what he was. He will never exist for you. You will have that empty void in your heart that only he can fill, but you will live on without it. My child, his love will be but a disappointment to you. It will last as long as the morning glory blooms, a short, unlasting time. It will bring you a flash of joy for a moment, and then fade away into oblivian. It's not worth it, his love is worthless to us both. He swirls his love around you with his silky words, building you up, carrying you towards the heavens only to drop you and let you fall. Only to let you down. My child his love has been nothing but a disappointment. It is something you can do without. That we both can do without.
His silky words slither around you, making their way into your soul. His words are meaningless, he has no heart to back it up with. Like cheap paper toys that rip and break, those are the worth of his words. Like jewels made from glass and paste, those are the worth of his promises. And like the rise and set of the sun, that is what forever means to him.
His love has been nothing but a disappointment to me, to us. And it always will be. My only regret was not knowing before I laid down with him.... I can see the sun's rays rise up now my child. Warm golden rays, rising up to greet us. I can feel you my child. I can sense everything.
A new dawn, a new day, a new beginning. He is persistant, this morning he came by to see me, damn him. I almost forgot about you my child...but then again he was to engulfed in his own self to notice me shift my shape. I watched him rambling on about something, about the crew, about Dermott, about HER. Someday you will ache like I ache. My child, he will ache and burn and wither into nothing. He only likes us now cause he likes to us break. But I won't give him that joy.
He thinks he can just whisk in here, and act as if everything is alright? He is annoying me. He is making me blood boil, which not good for you my child. I want him out of here, why doesn't he just leave, like he always does. Sail off without me, leave me there in the ocean...why doesn't he leave me now? B**tard.
"Maeve?" he asks pulling me out of my train of thought
"What?" I reply slightly annoyed
"Are you listening?"
"Must I? You saunter in here, wake me up, and you expect me to be all chipper and entertain You?!"
"I'm sorry Maeve..."
"Just leave me be"
"We have so much to talk about Maeve"
"We don't have anything to talk about"
"Maeve..."
"I am NOT the person you thought you knew."
"Why are you so mad?"
Why am I so mad? Why? WHY? He dares ask me WHY? I'll tell you why!
"Why did you leave me there? Why did you sail off without me?! Why did you never look for me? Why Sinbad? TELL ME WHY?!" I screamed it out so loud that I can feel my lungs collapse on themselves.
I can see the pain in his eyes, I can see that I've finally hurt him, slightly, but still hurt him. I've inflicted the wound, now I have to make it bigger, and bloodier, until I can rub the salt in.
And now I see the pathetic tears form in his eyes. He starts to cry, mumbling out something. I can't decipher what he's sobbing out. I touch my stomach. My child, he is so pathetic, do you want to acknowledge him as your father? Do I want to acknowledge him?
I turn my back to him, I can't stand looking at him anymore. My betrayer cries, perhaps he hurts, perhaps he aches, perhaps he cares, perhaps but it is all too late now. I look out the window, and I see the crew standing there, talking, laughing. They don't seem to know what's going on. They all surround her, as they try to pet her stomach.
I look down at my stomach. Is it time yet? No my child, not yet. If you come now, he will never leave. NEVER. He will demand his rights to you even though he has none, he destroyed them when he abandoned us. He will never leave, he will haunt us. He will never stop until he gets what he wants. He never lets up. But then I feel these arms wrap around me. Damn him! His arms, the same arms I felt safe and warm in, are lik suffocating me, they surround me as he grips onto me.
"I'm sorry Maeve, I tried. I tried so hard, but I couldn't"
I grit my teeth, how dare he. How dare he say he tried when he didn't! All those ports with all those women! And not once did he even ask for me, to look around in search of me. He knew where Caperia was! He never looked back. His arms pull me closer to him. He rests his head on my shoulder, and cries.
"You're making me shirt wet"
His hands trail down and reach my stomach. NO! But it's too late. I break free of him. Damn him, he knows now.
"Maeve, why is your stomach-"
"Off with you!" I send him flying back onto the wall.
I can't maintain the illusion anymore. Being that I am using more magic, I have to drop the unecesarry things now. My child, give me the strenth to survive this.
"Maeve! You're-"
"I know what I am Sinbad!"
"But how, who?"
"I think you should know that by now!"
"By Allah!"
"Allah has nothing to do with me Sinbad! You already have a child! It's out there with HER! In HER body!"
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"Tell you what? That I failed the final test? That because of that I will never be a sorceress? That my magic will always be weak and pathetic!"
"Maeve..."
"She is MY child Sinbad, MY child and MINE alone. You lost all rights to her when you abandoned us, both of us"
"No, no, you can't-"
"I am! And I have! You're the reason why I failed. You were my final test"
I raise my arms up, I feel the energy building up. The door opens and I send him flying out. The door slams shut behind him. The energy is wild and going out of control. I don't think I can control it. The shutters of the windows fly open and then shut. I hear muffled screams from the outside banging on the door.
I can feel it. I collapse down onto the ground. I look down at my stomach, the white light emerges. I scream out in agony, I feel as if my insides are being torn apart. The energy ball is out of control, the winds like a hurricane pick up everything and throw it around the room. Flashes of bright light. Lightening, thunder, crashes, it feels as if all my senses are haywire.
I can feel her, I feel her coming. My child, enter this world, pure and free. I feel the the thick layer of sweat on me. I feel my loins about to cave in on themselves. By the Gods!
I hear her crying. She's alive! She's here! I try to sit up, but I ache too much. I struggle with myself and do, I reach my child my beautiful, innocent child. She is so beautiful. Hair like mine, her eyes still shut, but I know her what her eyes will be like, who her eyes will be like. I wipe the jelly liquid on her off. I kiss her on her forehead.
"Welcome my Child" I kiss her before I see them break down the door.
"Maeve!" he yells out
I am too weak to fight him, all of them. I try to back away, but I can't. All my muscles hurt, cramp, ache. He reaches down and take her from me. NO! I won't lose her not to you! Not ever!
"NO! Give her back!" I scream out as he takes her from me.
"Firouz take a look at her." He stands there next to HER
She leans over to see my child. I cannot bear to watch but must. I see him hold her, I see him hand her over to HER.
"DAMN YOU! GIVE ME BACK MY BABY!" I scream out but Firouz holds me down
He just looks at me. How dare he!? How dare he take her from me? how dare he take her and give her to HER? How dare he! MY betrayer rips her, MY child from me, and he dares to give it to HER? Is personal concubine? F**k him! F**k all of them!
With my last ounce of strength, I push Firouz away. I chant the spell I dreaded, but had to. I wouldn't lose her, I wouldn't lose to her to anyone. My child understand what I'm doing. Understand that it's better this way. Please understand!
The room swells up with smoke, swirling around. The spell is working. My child, I see her, I see her float towards me. They stand there amazed. My child, come to me. I hold her again in my arms. I kiss her again. I send a blast throughout the room like a wave of energy, sending them back against the wall. Stay there! I chant the last part of the spell. My child floats up. I feel myself get lighter. I see the blue orb from inside me rise up. Rise up, rise up.
It leaves me, I see it enter her tiny body. My magic, it's all in her now. The last part of the spell is almost complete.
"I love you my child"
The flashes of light are blinding, but then they stop. I see my fingers, I see myself, I see myself disappearing. I see myself fading like the first time. I look up, I see her, I see the light envelope her. Slowly her tiny arms and legs stretch out more. Her torso expands, her head, her fingers, everything. She's growing, while I'm fading, into nothing.
I see her, she's growing. She's so beautiful. My child, I love you so much. Please understand, understand.
I'm watching the expressions on his face. You will never take her away. You will never have the chance to hurt her. You will never! NEVER! I see her, her body falls down onto the wooden boards. She looks up at me, with those eyes. My betrayer's eyes.
"Mommy, don't leave me!" she reaches for me, but it's too late.
I fade away into oblivian. I cannot protect her now, she has the power within herself. Where it's always been.
"Be strong my child. You have the power within you. He'll never hurt you, never"
"Mommy!"
"I love you"
"NO! Don't leave me!"
"The power is within you, do what I could not, be what I couldn't, be everything and anything"
"MOMMY!"
My child, so young and innocent, she's aged so much, she's only a day old, but she's in the body of a 15 year old. She will protect herself from him, she will be able to, she has my magic, my strength, my love. She will be able to do anything. She will escape him.
"Be strong my child"
"I will Mommy, please don't leave me!"
"I am always with you, always...always my child....always Ceara"
Darkness....
The light had faded from the room, the magic was gone. Her magic was gone, she was gone. I look up through my new eyes and see for the first time. I pick myself up from the ground, from where she once lay. Mommy, why did you leave me? Why? I feel a hand on my body. I look up and see who it is. I pull back, still naked and covered with the fluid of my mother I back away.
"Don't be afraid" he says
His eyes, his eyes are so familiar, where do I know them from? My head hurts, it pounds, like nails exploding inside my skull.
Memories, images, voices, what are they? What do they all mean?
Her words, I remember all her words to me, when I was still inside her, protected and surrounded by her.
"You are Sinbad" I say my first words
"Yes" he replies
I get up, wobblely my first steps, I get up and walk. A fat man grabs a fabric and pulls it arund me. I suppose that my naked body would draw some attention.
"Who are you?"
I look up, it's HER. I see her dark hair fall upon her shoulders and I can see the life within her. My weak half sibling.
"I am Ceara, daughter of Maeve" I reply coldly to the little wench, that dared to take me from my mother's arms only moments after I entered this world. Wretched wench!
My mind, it hurts, it aches, it fills with knowledge, knowledge from my mother. I feel her memories, her joys, her passions, her losses. I feel it all. I need to be cleaned up, this jelly stuff is sticking to me. I head out the door, I see my mother's steed, waiting there for her, but senses that she's left already. I climb up on her, this is like all the other times except this time I hold the reins, and hopefully you can hear me.
"Wait! Where are you going?" he asks as he runs out of the house
I do not reply, he doesn't deserve an answer, he doesn't deserve anything from me ever again. He abandoned her, us, for HER, that pathetic, frail weak little being. He chose her over us. He didn't love us, he never did. He is incapable of love, of anything. In a blink of an eye is how long his love lasted...just a blink.
The steed takes me where it wants to go. It takes me to a lake, so peaceful and beautiful. I climb down and enter the water. It's cold, but the water surrounds me. I feel it start to warm up, it surrounds me. It feels like I'm back inside her, safe and warm.
Can you hear me? Can you? Can you see me? Can you see that I'm alright? That I got away? That I will be free of him? Can you?