Bella
INTRODUCTION:
My mother went to Francewhen both of her parents died. She was seeking an escape. But she didn't realize how free she was. She took her freedom for granted. We all did. I know that now.
My mother was half German and half Jewish-- This was before anyone had even heard the name Adolf Hitler. My mother lived in the time of peace. My mother never heard of concentration camps, or the word Nazi. I did though.
My name is Bella. Bella Swan. This is my story. The story of me falling head over heals in love with a Nazi soldier.
CHAPTER 1: Bright Angel
"Bella," My mother's voice was quiet and broken. She'd never sounded like this and I was so afraid. My father had already gone to heaven. And mother said Father was waiting for her. I begged her not to leave me. Begged god to take me with them.
"I want you to take this for me. To keep it safe. It isn't much, but I want you to have it. I want you to remember your father and I always." She whispered.
I didn't cry. I said. "I will mother. I will never forget. I swear." I took the thick book, so thick that at first I thought it was a bible. As I looked at it I realized it was my mother's poetry book. A page was marked. I looked at her and she nodded.
"Read it to me." She said taking one of my hands after opening it to the page she'd marked for me.
I read; "Bright Angel,"
"I lie here and I think of you,
And I have realized everything you've given me.
I know, I cannot give back to you,
I wish I could give you what nobody can give to anyone
But I cannot.
You have made my life the best of all,
You're the reason I've tried to get up every time I've fallen.
You are my bright angel in this darkest hour.
You flood the darkness that surrounds me with light."
"Thank you, mother. It's beautiful." I said quietly, knowing she had written it for me.
"Darling, The next page. I want you to read that when you get back to France. Your uncle Charliewill be here later today to take you home with him."
"You- You don't want me any more?" I asked at the verge of tears. "Did I do something wrong mother?"
"Oh, no! Never. You must never think that, darling." She told me patting the open spot on the bed next to her. I pulled myself on to the bed beside her she pulled me into her warm embrace. "I loveyou with all my heart." She murmured into my hair.
"Then why can't I stay with you?" I asked. my throat tight and sore from the tears I held back.
"Because, you need to be safe. You need to be taken care of." She explained, "And I cannot do that anymore, Oh, how I wish I could." She said. Mother began to cry. And so did I.
"Mother, please don't leave me. I'm afraid. And you're my best friend." I sobbed. She said nothing only held tighter, so tight I thought maybe she'd pull through for me. That she'd get better. We lay together, crying. I was woken later that night, by my mother talking to someone.
I sat up and saw my uncle, my father's brother. I turned back to my mother. She looked worse, if that were possible.
"It's time for you to go now, darling." She said softly. I leaned in gently to hug her. She held me close.
"I love you, mother." I told her.
"I love you too, Always, my bright angel."
My uncle helped me down from mother's bed. He let me sit comfortably on his hip resting my head on his shoulder. As he turned to leave I lifted my head.
"Mother," I called, she lifted herself a little at my breathless cry and my uncle paused. "Will you tell Father I love him, too. When you see him."
"He knows, but yes I promise you I will tell him. Don't for get to read the next page." She reminded. I nodded jerkily. Uncle Charlie squatted down to grab my small suit case, while I gripped mother's book in my two small hands.
After 5 years in France with my uncle, his wife and their 3 children, We moved to Germany because Uncle Charlie got a promotion.
Tanya and I were 10, Tanya was my youngest cousin. Then there was Jasper, 11. And Emmett, He had just turned 12. I hung out with the boys most the time, but of course I was becoming a 'young lady'. And my Aunt Renee couldn't not teach me how to become a woman, so I was made to spend less time with my 'brothers' and more time with my aunt and Tanya.
I thought it was funny how Emmett thought I was a helpless girl. I toughed it out and had wrestled my brothers a thousand of times. And beaten them a few times! I was far from having to be protected, but of course my brothers said they didn't mind looking out for me... and I didn't really either. I loved my brothers.
And once in a while Uncle Charlie would get me out of the cooking and sewing 'lessons' so I could be with my brothers. I knew they loved me more then Tanya, no matter how rude it is for me to admit, and they told me often. My brother Emmett was very protective at school when he saw a boy try to hold my hand he immediately made sure that boy never came with in a 3 ft radius of me.
That is until the 6th week attending our school in Germany. Tanya sat with her group of friends and I sat with my brothers. I sat in our usual spot. I was writing a poem when some one bumped my arm. I rolled my eyes, even though I'd been told it was rude. I suddenly realized Emmett nudged me on my other side. I sighed loudly and decided to speek up.
"Okay, what is it? National everybody bump Bella day?" I asked Emmett and Jasper laughed. And so did the stranger that had bumped me first. I turned my head to the side and saw the most beautiful boy I'd ever laid my eyes on.
CHAPTER 2: Best Friends
After the boys were done laughing. Emmett introduced the stranger.
"Bella, this is Edward. He moved in right next door."
"Where are you from?" I asked remembering how to talk.
"Not far, Miss Swan, Just the next town over." He answered politely calling me by my last name, Purposely pointing out I didn't know his.
I purposely ignored it. "Well, at least you'll still get to see your Friends."
"Yeah, but I can always make new friends. Maybe better friends... You're lucky you have such a big family. I'm an only child." He stated and right then Tanya laughed obnoxiously loud.
"Well, I want to keep my brothers, but you can gladly take my sister." I said nodding to Tanya.
He laughed, "Ah, no thank you."
"Edward, you know I really am an only child, right?" I asked unsure if I should tell him. I hated it when people asumed my aunt and uncle were my parents. I didn't mind my cousins being my Brothers and sister, because I didnt have any, So they weren't replacing any thing. But my parents... They would never be replaced.
"I... Don't understand."
"When I was young my parents got sick and died. I came to live with my fathers brother. My siblings are my cousins."
"I'm sorry, about your family."
"It was a long time ago. And at least I had somewhere to go." I smiled.
He continued asking questions and I answered until The teacher, Ms. Cope came in to take roll.
She went through the list of names quickly,
"Bella Swan?"
I raised my hand, "Here." I murmured quietly. The teacher nodded.
"Emmett Swan?" She called he raised his hand.
"Jasper Swan?" He followed suit
"Tanya Swan?"
"Here!" My sister answered, enthusiastically. I watched my brothers roll their eyes. I laughed quietly.
A little while later. The teacher called; "Edward Englebert?"
"Here." he said.
Englebert. Translated meant Bright Angel, My mother's poem immediately came into my mind as I stared at Edward.
"What?" He asked quietly. I just shook my head, "Bella, why're you crying?" He whispered.
"I'm not." I argued even as he inconspicuously wiped a tear from my cheek. He didn't say anything more. Just watched as I tried to calm my racing heart.
Just coincidence?
Edward didn't say anything, and for that I was thankful. After awhile he laced his fingers through mine hesitantly giving me time to pull away if I wanted to. But I didn't and I had no clue why. He squeezed my hand Comfortingly. Resting our twined hands on my knee (A/N: In a non-sexual way, he is only comforting her). I squeezed back, begging him not to let go. And he didn't. Even when Emmett saw our hands.
I was expecting Em to get angry, but he only smiled.
After school the five of us walked home together Me, Edward, Em, Jazz, and Tanya got close to home. I immediately slowed my pace and caught Edward's pinkie finger gently. He looked down at me. His beautiful eyes boring in to mine.
Edward slowed his pace. Em, obviously, saw us slow so he began teasing Tanya, knowing it'd distracting both her and Jaz. Predictably, Jasper jumped in, and Tanya argued back insulting them.
"Hey, so..." Edward started.
"I wanted to apologize... for you know getting upset today. I just- I..."
"It's fine, No big deal. I was just worried that maybe... well, that I'd done something..."
"No! No, it wasn't you at all. It- It was your last name. My mother wrote me a poem right before she died. It was called Englebert. (A/N: Englebert is German for Bright Angel. They are speaking German.)"
"Oh, um, well thats..."
"Quite a coincidence." I finished for him with a sunrising laugh.
He nodded, "Yeah, yes it sure is." Edward smiled. He suddenly looked at me. "You surprise me. I mean I... You're probably the prettiest girl I've ever seen." He murmured.
I shook my head. "I have to much of my father in me. You should have seen my mother. She was beautiful. I have a picture of them. Would you like to come in and see it? Maybe my Uncle Charlie could make some hot chocolate..."I suggested.
Edward nodded, "Yes, Thanks for asking I'd very much like to spend more time with you." I smiled.
Germany, Berlin. July, 1940-
I spotted Edward leaning against the far wall where he usually waited for me.
"Happy 17th birthday!" I called bounding carefully down the street, away from my teasing brothers to Edward and flung myslf into his embrace. He Picked me up off the ground and swung me in a circle.
"Your birthday is only a week and a half away. Aren't you excited to be 15?" He asked. releasing me slowly so I could look in his eyes.
"15 is not nearly as cool as 17." I told him. "I've got something for you. After school you're walking me home, right?"
"Yes, isn't that tradition? But I have to go to youth(A/N: He's talking about Hitler youth) right after." he mumbled.
"It won't take long. I promise, I won't make you late." I murmured quietly, blushing at the thought of letting him finally read one of my poems. He'd been begging for the 5 years we've been friends.
"Okay," He murmured, catching a stray hair between two fingers and pulling it back into place, as he did his hand brushed against the side of my neck. He opened his hand fully so he rested his open palm against my neck. My heart raced, and thumped so loud I highly doubt he couldn't hear it, or feel it in his large warm hand which gave me chills. Unconsciously I realized I was leaning into his hand. He caught the invitation and slid his hand so it was cupping my face. His free hand catching my other cheek. I couldn't help, but close my eyes.
"You're so beautiful." He whispered. I could feel him leaning into me. When I felt his breath on my lips he stopped as if asking my permission. My hands moved so they were resting on his chest. Unsure of what to do. This was going to be my first kiss. I dreamed of doing this with Edward for so long.
"Edward-" my whisper was loudly interupted by some one shouting Edward's last name. Causing us to spring apart suddenly. He turned so he was facing a boy his age. Blond hair and blue eyes.
"Newton," He said nodding politely, but I could hear the undercurrent of anger. Anger at what? Did he really want to kiss me? He was really going to kiss me? My heart flew as the boy- Newton jogged over to us.
"Why, Hello," He said to me.
"Hello."
"Micheal, this is Bella. Bella, Micheal." He introduced us. Micheal took my hand while saying; "Ah, this is your Bella. We hear alot about you at youth."
"All good I hope." I said hopping to cover up how excited I was to hear he spoke of me to his friends, that he thought of me even when we weren't together.
"Of course," Edward whispered, Wrapping his hand around my vacant one. This wasn't anything new we'd held hands a lot, ever since him walking me to school and back became a routine.
"Well, she much prettier then you let on." Micheal said, smiling at me. I turned to Edward,
"Oh really?" I teased knowing Micheal was joking.
"Not true." He promised smiling down at me.
"I'll see you later Micheal, We're going to be late for class." He said pulling me down the street and into the school house.
We took our usual seats, but this time Edward's Left hand rested on my knee as we talked to our friends who sat around us.
The Ms. Cope finally called roll and launched into her lesson for today.
I slouched down in my chair. For I was the only one in my family to where a yellow star of david on my coat. And she knew it.
"Can tell me what an Aryan is?" Ms. Cope called curtly into the group of students, and a girl 2 rows ahead raised her hand eagerly waving it around.
"Aryan's are true Germans," she said obviously excited withherself. Edward looked down at me. I tried to smile at him. His hand squeezed my knee gently, offering me the only comfort he could give.
"Very good," she said nodding. "Mr. Englebert, elaborate on what Miss Mallory's answer."
"Of course. I would love to. They are a race built on hate, and contain no morals, They only wish to see corruption. The only reason Hitler is insisting on blondhair and blue eyes is because it makes them look pure – but the truth of it all is that it's just one huge, manipulative lie."
Ms. Cope's eyebrows rose in shock. "I never pinned you down to be a... diseased German, Mr. Englebert – but if that's who you chose to love..." She says, her eyes flicking to me.
Emmett rose quickly from his chair, his face angered.
"Sit down," she insisted as soon as she saw him.
"I will not sit and listen to this."
"Unfortunately, you don't have a choice, Mr. Swan" She smiled mockingly, and with his face still furious, his muscles flexing, he sat down reluctantly. Edward took my hand setting our intertwined hands together on the table. Where everyone could see.
"Miss Swan, please come get a book off my desk and read the first paragraph to the class."
Mockingly Tanya stood up from her seat next to Rosalie, Em's Girlfriend, in front of me raising her head high. "I'd love to Ms. Cope." She said in a defiant tone.
Tanya knew Ms. Cope wasn't talking to her. I smiled. Me and My sister may not be very close, but we were always there for one another.
Ms. Cope only smiled. "I meant, Miss Bella Swan." She corrected.
"Well, perhaps you should make yourself more clear." Rose growled.
"Oh do not fret, I will not make that mistake again."
Before sitting down Rose turned to me Murmuring "I'm so sorry."
"Miss Bella Swan." Ms. Cope sneered.
My muscles locked as I heard my whole name, and I rose unsteadily to my feet, letting go of Edward's hand. Then accidentally knocking my chair over backwards. The Tyler, the boy, behind me laughed. Ben Cheney, punched him hard in the shoulder, he was one of Edward's friends. The teacher cleared her throat. Yelling at Ben for hitting Tyler.
I walked uncertainly towards her desk, my cheeks flushed red, with embarrassment as I slowly opened the book to the correct page, still standing before the class.
My heart sank in my chest when I read the title: Schmutziger Jude- Filthy Jew
"The Jewish youth," I began, my voice trembling as the class listened, "lies in wait for hours on end... spying on the unsuspiciousGermans they plan to seduce. They want to contaminate German blood and remove them-" I stopped, my eyes wide with horror as I glanced to the teacher.
"Keep reading," she commanded smiling gently, and I bit back my pride as I forced myself to read aloud the words on the page.
He doesn't believe in any of it, I chanted over and over to myself. Not unaware of how his eyes were fixed on me from the Our seats.
"Remove them from their own people. Is there any form of filth or crime without at least one Jew involved in it?"
He doesn't believe it.
"If you cut even cautiously into a sore, you find a maggot in a dead, rotting body, dazzled by the sudden light – Jews."
And those were words directly spoken from a man Edward's Father glorified with all his might.
To him, I wasn't even human.
The book shut weakly in my shaking hands, and the teacher nodded in agreement, her eyes raking over my shaking form – not with concern, but with happy satisfaction.
"That'll be all for this lesson," she dismissed us. As I stood frozen trying to hold back My traitor tears.
CHAPTER 3: Men's Attention.
Everyone got up as I made my way back to my seat. I arranged my things and began putting them in my bag.
"Bella," I heard Edward whisper.
"I'm okay," I nodded not looking up. "I'm fine," I lied.
"I'm sorry, she only did that because I-" Edward started.
"Edward, it's not your fault, She does that everyday. I just have to get use to it."
"No you don't, Bella. What she's doing is wrong. No one deserves that." Angela told me. Alice and Angela, my best friends, were suddenly at my side wrapping their arms around me in a comforting hug. "Especially you." Alice cooed, quietly. Jasper Patted his hand on my back. His other rested on the small of Alice's back.
"Are you sure you don't want us to walk with you and Edward today? We could all walk together." Emmett offered, His arm around Rose's Waist.
I shook my head. "No, I'm fine." I smiled. "I swear. Now, go before You're all stuck walking with us." I laughed quietly. After practically shoving my friends and family out of the room. Edward took my hand. He had a serious look on his face.
"Bella, you know none of what you read or hear is true, don't you?" He exhaled unsteadily and swallowed hard. "I mean, you know I don't believe, or agree with any of it?" His eyes took on a misty look that I'd never seen a man have before. I immediately put myself in his embrace wrapping my arms securely around his neck.
"I know. I know that, Edward." I promised, my fingers teasing the hair at the back of his neck. His toned arms held me to him tightly. I felt his lips graze my temple. I snuggled into his neck.
"As soon as you're old enough, I'm going to take you away from here." He whispered. "Me and you. We're going to leave this place and never look back." He promised. I felt my eyes burn. I didn't dare blink. "I'm going to protect you. I'll never let anything hurt you."
"Edward, stop." I whispered. "Please don't." I begged, on the brink of sobbing.
"You don't believe me?" He questioned, his voice pained. He only held me tighter. "That's okay, I'll prove it to you. I'll make You see. One more year and we'll leave. That's it. One more year, put up with this for one more year and I'll take you away. You'll see. I'll protect you." He whispered.
I wanted to believe him, but I knew soon enough he'd find a pretty Aryan girl, one worthy of a man like him. One who could give him the perfect Aryan baby. I bit my lip, imagining him holding any other girl the way he held me, comforting her the way he was comforting me.
"Mr. Englebert," A man said, I jumped and tried to pull away, but Edward only dropped one arm still holding me to his side with the other. I saw the man who had spoke. He was a Nazi officer. The way he looked at me wanted to send me running away. I looked down at his feet.
"Officer James," Edward greeted. pulling me closer to his side.
"Who is this? A friend?"
"Yes, this is my best friend, Ms. Swan."
"Ah, Ms. Swan." He repeated, "Well, She's a shy little thing isn't she."
Edward didn't reply.
"Ms. Swan why don't you look at me so I can see you?" He asked I swallowed and turned my face up. Looking him dead in the eyes. "There, you see? Is that so bad?" I shook my head.
"She's quite pretty, Edward." He praised. I didn't like the way the Officer was looking at me. It made me feel disgusting.
"May I?" He asked holding his hand out for mine.
"Don't ask me. That's not my permission to give. Ask her." Edward replied nodding his chin at me.
"Oh, of course, you're right. How rude of me."
He said, I hesitantly took his hand, after glancing up at Edward questioningly. When Edward nodded, either because I really didn't have a choice, or because he knew the officer wouldn't hurt me, I had no idea. Officer James took my hand firmly and kissed my knuckles gently. I was shaking, even as Edward stroked my hip comfortingly. Reminding me I wasn't alone.
I pulled my hand away from him as soon as he lessened up enough that I could yank my fingers from his grip.
"Well, I really have to be getting Ms. Swan home, Officer James."
"Yes, yes of course, we don't want her walking by herself. A pretty delicate thing like her could easily get hurt."
"Not with me." Edward answered. Officer James, smiled and nodded.
"See you at youth, Edward. And hopefully soon I'll see Ms. Swan again."
When we left the room I went for my sweater. wanting to cover as much of my body as I could.
"No, Bella. Leave it. You don't need your sweater today." He said quietly tugging me away from the closet.
"Edward, I could get in trouble." I argued. The rule was to wear the star at all times. Edward knew that.
Edward studied me. "Fine, but you're going to wear my sweater over yours."
I nodded. I was completely fine with that. The more clothing I had on me right now the better.
Once we were outside of the school and Brant was walking with me tucked underneath his arm I asked; "Why was he looking at me that way, Edward? He scared me."
"Bella... You're pretty, you draw attention to yourself." He tried to explain. "Um, I don't really know how to explain... When you were younger none of them were allowed to pay any special attention to you, because you were young. But now you're older. They figure they're allowed to look at you freely now. They think they're allowed to... express interest in you. Because you're not a little girl anymore... Do you understand what I'm telling you?"
"No, Edward, I don't." I shrugged.
"They want to be able to touch and look at you the way a man looks at a woman. They believe it's they're right. But, Bella, no man is allowed to touch you. I swear to god if any of them try, I'll kill them." He growled.
"Why would they want to do that to me?" I asked confused.
"Bella you're a woman now. A pretty woman. They're men." I finally caught on. I stopped pulling Edward to a stop with me.
"You mean they like..." I said shaking my head, "But... No I mean I- I don't want them. I- Edward- I- Why? I'm- no." I couldn't even think straight. I didn't want anyone, but Edward to think- let alone touch me- in any grown up way.
"Sh, Honey. I won't let them. You hear me? None of those men will touch you." He caught my face, making me look up at him. His thumb gently caressing my cheek.
"Edward, I don't want you to be a soldier. I don't want you to turn out like them." I whispered.
He pulled me to him again. "Sh, Bella, I promise you. I won't ever be like them."
Once we made it to my house. I looked at the time. "I guess you can't stay for your present." I murmured.
"I wish I could." He told me. "How about I come over after youth? You think you'll be awake?" He asked.
I nodded. "Yes," I told him. "If I'm not I'll leave my window open so you can get in and wake me up."
"Bella, if you're asleep I don't want to disturb you." He said.
"Edward, don't argue." I scolded. "Just wake me up this is important. I 've been working in it for a long time. I don't want to wait any longer then absolutely needed."
He laughed. "Okay, I'll wake you up. I promise."
I nodded taking off his soldier Jacket. "Here," I handed it to him.
"I'll see you tonight." He whispered then leaned down slowly, carefully and pressed a soft kiss to my jaw. "Now go inside, you're brother is going to kill me for having you home so late as it is."
"He won't kill you." I promised. "I won't let him." We both smiled knowing it was true. I walked inside and closed the door locking it behind me. Then I stood at the window and waved to Edward. He nodded smiled softly and started to walk to youth. "Love you, Edward." I whispered inaudibly.
CHAPTER 4: Birthday Present.
After Edward left I was called into the family room, by my uncle. My heart picked up in double time as I walked with my head down.
Did they see him kiss me?
My Aunt was sitting in her rocking chair. My Uncle sitting on the couch, his brown hair falling on his forehead,
"... Uncle Charlie," I said, but it came out as a whisper. Right now he looked so much like how I remembered my father when he heard my mother was sick. Afraid and unsure.
My heart broke.
"Bella, you know what he is? What he's going to be? You know what his type see you as..." He murmured.
"Yes, sir. I do... But... Edward would never hurt me." I promised.
"Bella, that'sbeside the point. A young girl should never be out this late with a man. It's-" My Aunt began. My uncle sighed waving her off.
"Go. Warm up Bella's dinner."
Like an obedientwife she did as she was told. I could never see myself doing anything like her. I couldn't see myself obeying anyone, Other then my parents. When I am married- No matter who I maybe wed to- I will expect his respect as he should expect mine. All though I wouldn't push my children into being what they aren't like she does withhers... and tries to do with me.
"Bella, I- we just don't want you to get hurt." Before I could respond he swept on. "I know Edward would never lay his hands on you, but Bella... He's training to be a soldier. Either he will begin thinking like the soldier he's being trained to be, or he will have to leave." He sighed.
My throat was tight, my eyes sore. I knew he was going to leave me. It was inevitable. He deserved his perfect Aryan. Deserved what I could never be. My uncle was finally looking at me.
"Bella," He held his arms out to me. And next I knew I was sobbing into his shoulder. "I'm so sorry, little girl." He murmured, running his hands over my hair, so much like I remembered my father doing. My arms wrapped around his neck.
"Uncle," I said after a while, when I could finally control my sobbing. "No matter what I'm going hurt now. I- I can't not be with him. That- that would kill me. Can I please just... Please don't forbid me from being with him..." I thought over what I would do if he did. And then I swallowed. "Because if you do... I won't listen. And uncle the last thing I want is for you to be mad at me... Just please."
He sighed, resting his hand on my cheek. "You look so much like your Father... But you deffinately get your attitude from your mother..."
He smiled. "Bella I will not forbid you from seeing him. I just, I need you to promise to be careful. To be smart."
I smiled. "Thank you, Uncle!" I said kissing his cheek quickly. "I swear, I promise." I got to my feet and ran over to the stairs.
"Bella," My uncle began I found that he'd followed me.
"Yes?"
"Do you like him?" He asked. And I knew what he was asking. My face automatically flushed red.
"... Yes, Yes I sure do."
"You've liked him for awhile." He said, nodding to himself.
"Yes, I have." I answered even though it was clear he wasn't asking. He was stating a fact. "Uncle... I- I believe. I love him." I whispered almost hoping, maybe he wouldn't hear.
"Yes, I believe you do." He murmured. I blushed. "But I also believe- Believe? No, I know He feels the same for you." He said, Shocked I looked up at him. He laughed. "Bella, I'm not that old. I remember the way your father looked at your Mother. That look us men get..." He heaved a sigh and smiled sadly. "That boy is head over heels for you, little girl. And I trust him." He smiled. "You should invite him for dinner this Friday. He, um, he doesn't..."
I smiled looking down at my stocking feet. "He doesn't have youth. I'll ask him. But uncle... We, um, aren't anything serious."
"Yet." He laughed When I blushed a new shade of red. "He use to come over a lot." He added. "No pressure. Go do your home work Bella. Then get some rest." He kissed my cheek.
I turned to go up the stairs then stopped. turned on my heel and said; "Goodnight, Uncle... And Thank you. For everything."
"No need to thank me for anyting, girl." I bounded back down to hug him. Uncle hugged me back and whispered; "You're the best of 'em. We all know that." He pulled back and nodded. I ran upstairs quietly. I stopped at Em's door and knocked.
He opened the door, "Bella, where the hell have you been? I was so afraid." He gasped pulling me into a bear hug. My brother was huge. I have no idea where he got it from. I knew he got his height from our fathers' side, but He had to secretly be working out, since puberty.
"Edward and I just got held up." He gave me a look. "Emmett," I moaned. "Edward took care of it. Every things fine."
"Fine, Goodnight Bella, get some sleep." Grey eyes, overlooked me carefully, as if looking for any damage.
"Goodnight, Emmett." I walked off into my room and picked out my favorite night gown. My prettiest one and walked to the bathroom, brushed my teeth and changed my clothes. I looked at myself in the mirror. Wondering if this was really what Edward saw when he looked at me. I leaned closer. My fingers brushing at my thick, dark, wavy hair. My hair was of medium length, just past my shoulders. Suddenly I was jealous of Tanya. We were the same age but she was considered a woman. She had already changed. She'd lost the baby fat around her face. She'd developed a woman's body.
I examined my figure carefully, looking for any subtle change. I ran my hand down my side. My hip only curved out a little, nowhere near as noticeable as Tanya's. Did Edward see me as a little girl? Is that why he felt the need to protect me? It hurt to think that... My heart felt like it dropped to my stomach.
Did he look at me the way I looked at him? As a man to a woman? I shook my head hoping to clear away the tears threatening me to fall.
I mean I know I'm not ugly, I'm pretty. I'm just not a woman yet. Would Edward wait? I studied my face carefully. My face was nicely shaped. My top lip was a tad to small to match the bottom. My eyes weren't to far apart or to close together.
---Uncle said Edward loved me! --- I thought suddenly a smile broke out, lighting my features. My eyes gleamed a bright sea green. I raised my head up.
yes, Edward will wait. I know he will. I left the bathroom and made my way to my bedroom. I pulled the poem out of the shoe box under my bed. I then unlocked my window and crawled in my warm bed, clutching the poem in my hand.
A warm hand stroked my cheek gently. I sighed.
"Bella, I'm here. Do you want me to leave? We can do this tomorrow if you're tired." Edward'svoice whispered in my ear. His breath warmed my face.
"No, don't leave. Stay." I told him while stretching. I felt his knuckles brush my hair out of my face.
I opened my eyes. It was still dark, but that isn't why my heart suddenly broke out in a sprint. Edward's face was so close to mine.
"Hey sleepy head," He whispered.
"Edward," I Murmured, cautiously raising my hand to touch his cheek. My finger tips, just barely making contact with his cheek bone. He sighed and his eyes slid closed.
I sat up never taking my hand away from his perfect face. My free hand came up to stroke his temple, running my hand down so I was cupping the side of his face. He leaned into that hand. His hands moved too. One rested on my thigh, messaging it with his strong fingers. His other wrapped tightly around my hip.
"Bella," he whimpered, when my hand wandered lower so I could run my fingers down his neck they down the front of his thin white T- shirt. I felt his breathing speed up. I whimpered quietly. I felt... odd. My breathing had sped up as well when his hand slowly began moving farther up my thigh. That only made this odd feeling more pronounced, harder to ignore.
It caused a slight damp, burning sensation between my thighs. It was making me tremble. It was making me gasp for air. Edward rested his face into the crook of my neck. I could feel his ragged breaths brushing against my sensitive skin now. God, was something wrong with me?
"Edward..." I whispered, scared out of my mind.
--- What was happening? ---
"Shh, you're okay, Bella." He pulled away taking my hand and sitting down beside me on my bed. Edward brought me onto his lap and into his arms. I buried my face in his chest, until finally the overwhelming sensation dulled down enough for me to stop trebling.
"What was wrong with me?" I asked him.
"Bella... What do you mean?" He questioned.
"I... I felt... odd." I told him. "I thought I was dying."
"Tell me what you felt , Bella." He said quietly. Edward's breath grazed my ear.
"I was... Burning..." I murmured, looking down in my lap, embarrassed. "Between my legs," I whispered even more quietly. Not sure if I wanted him to tell me what was wrong with me any more.
He chuckled softly. Soothingly. "But it didn't hurt you, right?"
"No." I shook my head, still looking down.
"And you don't know why you felt that way?" He asked seriously.
I shook my head, blushing deeper.
Edward's fingers grasped my chin and gently angled my face to look up at him. "You felt like that because you... like me." He explained. Obviously dumbing it down for my sanity.
"Of course I like you, Edward." I admitted.
--- I like my brother but I'd never felt like that with him! --- I thought then suddenly realized the difference... --- I love you, actually. --- I concluded. I was in love with him.
"You... desire me." He said his voice suddenly deeper and... thicker then ever before.
I twined my fingers together and bit my lip nervously. "...Yes." I answered, almost inaudibly.
I felt his fingers drag gently down my back. "Bella, I desire you, as well." Edward murmured into my hair. I turned my face up to look at him. He was closer then I'd expected. When I moved our faces were suddenly an unbearable inch apart.
"You do?" I asked self consciously.
"Yes, I have for awhile, now." I smiled extremely excited about our confessions.
"Have you ever kissed a girl, Edward?" I asked.
"Yes, at a party once. It was a dare." He explained.
"Oh... so it doesn't really count then, right?"
"I don't want it to." He murmured. "Have you ever kissed a boy, Bella?"
I blushed. "My uncles friend came over one evening... He kissed my hand but I don't believe that counts... Do you?" I asked him.
He chuckled again quietly. "No. No I don't believe so."
I looked down again, before conjuring up the courage and murmuring; "That's what I want from you... on my birthday."
Edward's hands froze where they were on my body. I thought he was going to tell me no, but instead he said;
"But I can still give you something else can't I? You see I've already bought your present." He told me.
"I suppose," I told him smiling up at him. Edward smiled back, his bright green eyes sparkling, right into mine. "But right now it's time for your birthday present." I reached around on the bed until my fingers came into contact with the piece of paper. "Hold on I have to turn on the lights." I slipped reluctantly out of his lap to flip the switch.
Then padded back across the room to him. I was expecting to sit on the bed beside him, but he caught my hips gently as soon as I was close enough and brought me back into his lap.
"What's that?" He asked resting his head on my shoulder.
"Your present... your poem." I pulled away to look at me as I turned my head to see him.
"Are you teasing me? Or are you really going to let me read it?"
I slid the paper into his hand that was resting on my leg. Then I leaned back into his chest. Edward lifted the paper in front of us to read it.