Superhero Smackdown: Battle Royale!
by CidGregor
Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans.
Dedicated to Lord Belgarion, for letting me steal his idea and run with it. Don't throw me in the woodshed!
"LLLLLAAAADDDDIIIIIIIEEEEEESSSS AAAAAAAAAAANNNNNDD GEEENNNTLEMEEEENN!.!.!.!.!"
The massive crowd of at least five hundred people scream and roar in excitement.
"YOU ASKED FOR IT, AND YOU GOT IT! THE BIGGEST HIT TITLE SINCE FINAL FANTASY X! GAMESTATION LABS IS PROUD TO PRESENT JUMP CITY'S FIRST ANNUAL "SUPERHERO SMACKDOWN" TOURNAMENT: BATTLE ROYALE!.!.!"
The screaming fans grow louder by the second, squeezed tightly together against the stage as the host officially introduces the event.
"Now the rules of the game are simple!" the host says. "You are participating in teams of two in a single elimination bracket of over a hundred duos ready and raring to go! Make your way up the tournament ladder until you are the last pair standing! Other than that, ANYTHING GOES! There is no such thing as cheap moves, unfair tactics, or unbalanced match-ups! If it's in the game, IT'S LEGAL!"
The crowd roars its approval.
"AND THAT'S NOT ALL, FOLKS!" he continues. "Here to promote the event are two very special guests, who will be competing alongside you for the top spot and the title of first annual Smackdown Champions! Ladies and gentlemen, please give a very warm welcome to Jump City's golden boys…two of our very own Teen Titans, BEEEEEAST BOOOOOOY AND CYYYYYYYYYYBOOOOORG!.!.!"
The decibel level reaches epic proportions as the two Titans in question walk on stage, much to the raving fans' happiness.
"HELLOOOOOOOOO LADIES!.!.!.!.!" Beast Boy shouts, enjoying every moment.
"BOO-YAH!.!.!" Cyborg joins in.
The green Titan leaps up on top of Cyborg's shoulders and waves emphatically to the fans, and discreetly says to Cyborg, "They don't have an ice cube's chance in hell!"
"They don't even have that," Cyborg snickers back. "This is going to be too easy…"
"Boys, care to say a few words to your fellow competitors?" the host asks. He hands off the microphone to Cyborg, who snatches it enthusiastically.
"ALL RIGHT, Y'ALL!" he bellows into the mic, and the crowd's cheers swell momentarily before dying down just enough for Cyborg to be heard. "I tell ya, BB and I are psyched to be here, this game is…man, I can't even begin to describe it, that's how awesome it is!"
Beast Boy snatches the mic. "It's pure genius is what it is!"
Cyborg pulls the mic back to him. "Listen, y'all, I just wanna wish everybody good luck, and play your hearts out. And if ya don't win, don't worry; this game's so popular right now I wouldn't be surprised if this tournament is held for the next twenty years! So y'all have plenty of opportunity to win!"
Beast Boy grabs the mic again. "But don't expect us to go easy on you! Cuz we've got the mad skillz! Oh yeah!"
The crowd gets a roaring laugh after that comment.
"Hey, I was serious…" Beast Boy mutters, but no one hears him.
At this point the host steps forward and retrieves the mic. "And with those bold words…LET THE FIRST ANNUAL BATTLE ROYALE BEGIN!.!.!"
"He's right above you, watch it!"
"I can handle it, greenie, watch your own damn hide!"
"Okay, okay, now box 'em in! Don't let 'em escape!"
"The hell you think I'm tryin' to do?.!"
"Gah, it's not working, they're too fast!"
"It's just a guy in a Moth costume and his bratty kid's boyfriend! Get 'em in a corner!"
"Ack! LOOK OUT!.!.!"
A digital image of Killer Moth and Fang summon a swarm of ravenous moths onto the playing field, which swoop down over the digitized Beast Boy and Cyborg, who just barely manage to block the assault.
"Okay, okay, STUN 'EM BEFORE THEY RECOVER!.!.!"
Cyborg rolls his controller joystick from down to forward and jabs a button. His digital self unleashes a sonic cannon blast and stuns the enemy duo of Killer Moth and Fang where they stand.
"FINISHER MOVE, QUICK!.!.!" Cyborg orders. Beast Boy complies; the pair simultaneously punch a button combination into their controllers to great success. The digitized Beast Boy curls up into a tiny ball as an armadillo, and the Cyborg sprite chucks him into the air; when he falls back down, he has become an elephant, and flattens the enemy duo under his two-ton girth. The screen flashes.
"Cyborg and Beast Boy WIN!" the cool female announcer says.
"Whew! Almost had us worried for a sec there!" Beast Boy says.
Cyborg gives his partner a glare of mock anger. "Us?.! Man, you were the one who kept gettin' hit! They never even TOUCHED me!" he brags.
"Oh, so I guess I just IMAGINED Spider-boy catching you in that silk-web trap, huh?" the changeling shoots back.
Cyborg's mock glare is replaced by a slight reddening of the human half of his face. "Man, you weren't supposed to see that!"
"SEE IT?.! How could I miss it?.! It was hilarious! Er…I-I mean…"
Cyborg glares at the changeling, who laughs nervously and drops the subject. "Ah, whatever. Point is, we kicked their boo-tays!" he exclaims.
The two exit their soundproof game booth and are met with the roar of the crowd's approval. They stand at one end of the main stage. Above the booth is a massive projector screen, showing the audience every moment of the battle in glorious detail, and now flashes through the highlights of the battle. At the other side of the stage sits the second game booth, where their opponents stand fuming. Cyborg and Beast Boy address them with a wave and half-a-glance, but both quickly do a double-take; their opponent are none other than the REAL Fang and Killer Moth.
"The hell…?" Cyborg mutters.
"Daddy! You promised me we would win! YOU PROMISED!" a shrill voice echoes over the crowd. Moments later the pink-clad Kitten marches onstage screaming at her father and boyfriend.
"Dude! What are the freaking odds?" Beast Boy cracks up. "That's soooo funny!"
"Are you making fun of me, shrimp?.!" Kitten turns her shrieks on the changeling. "Just you wait, I'll get you for this! I will have my reven-OW! DADDY, LET GO OF ME!"
Killer Moth ignores his daughter, and continues to pull her by the ear off the stage and out the side door, the teen girl screeching profanities all the way out.
"Ahem…sorry 'bout that, folks!" the host says. "Let's just get on with the show, eh?"
The crowd cheers, indifferent to the strange scene a moment earlier. For all they knew, it had been part of the show.
"Since when were wanted super-villains allowed into public events…? Let alone allowed to actually participate?" Cyborg wonders aloud.
Beast Boy doesn't even hear the question; the changeling has lost himself amid a crowd of fangirls who squeal in delight as he transforms for them into an adorable green kitten.
"Uunnhh…" Cyborg groans. "Never mind…"
Unknown to either of the Titans, another pair of contestants watch the teens from just offstage with apparent interest.
"They are quite skilled."
"Yes…they will most certainly reach the finals. The rest of these peons are mere fodder."
"At last…a pair who might truly challenge our skill and might."
"Perhaps we might actually get hit this time…"
The two figures snicker heartily. One swishes a black, hooded cloak tighter around himself…or perhaps herself; the figure's natural voice is warped by some strange device hidden under the hood, and the rest of the cloak hides anything that might suggest the figure's gender. The other is more of the same; this figure's cloak and hood, however, are a radiant white.
"Shall we bend the odds in their favor? Just to ensure they reach the finals?" white-cloak asks.
"Now, now, my dear partner…if we did that, how could they be worthy of challenging us?" black-cloak answers. "They will reach the finals of their own accord, or not at all. Only then will they be worthy of facing our might."
"Yes…quite right…"
The two fall silent, watchful…
The crowd jeers in unison as they watch the screen. The final match of the first round is being displayed, where a digital Slade and Brother Blood are tag-teaming their one remaining opponent. Sprite-Starfire summons star-bolts and tries desperately to defend against the assault that claimed sprite-Raven, but to no avail. The sprite-supervillains overpower her, and with a mighty double-uppercut, sprite-Starfire's life meter is emptied. The crowd appears to have swung in favor of the girls, however, for they suddenly boo the victors as they emerge from their booth, one wrapped in black and the other wrapped in white.
Beast Boy and Cyborg watch the two, impressed.
"They're pretty good," Cyborg admits.
"Aw, we can take 'em!" Beast Boy insists.
"I wonder why they're wearing those cloaks…?" Cyborg says.
"What a stirring finish to round one!" the host says, leaping up onstage. "Now let's jump right into round two! And guess who's up first! That's right…Beast Boy and Cyborg!"
"Hey Cy, check out who we're up against!" Beast Boy says, pointing. "Isn't that Raven's friend? That goth kid?"
Cyborg looks over; indeed, he recognizes the teenager's dark hair and black shirt sporting a picture of a Pac-Man ghost. Next to him is another gothic teen dressed almost identically, though his shirt portrays simply a gray-scale smiley face. A second later they all disappear into their booths, soundproofed so that the screaming crowd doesn't affect the players' concentration. Beast Boy and Cyborg watch their screen as the goth kid wastes no time selecting Raven, and the other teen selects…Raven.
"Gee, who didn't see that coming?" Beast Boy remarks.
"C'mon…time to school these kids," Cyborg says with a grin.
"READY…FIGHT!" the game announcer shouts.
The two Ravens – one in the normal blue and black combo and the other in pure white – immediately unleashed blast after blast of telekinetic energy…and nothing else.
"Ah, dammit! Beam whores!" Cyborg exclaims.
"The heck does that mean?" Beast Boy asks as he blocks the assault.
"It means they sit in a corner and do nothing but shoot beams the whole match. GAH!" Cyborg adds as a beam gets past his guard. "I HATE BEAM WHORES!"
"Don't worry, I got this!" Beast Boy assures. He punches a button combo, morphs into a mouse, and darts under the beams, under the twin Ravens' collective guard; and before they can react, the changeling switches morphs to his trademark gorilla and swings his fist through both Ravens. The beam attacks cut off, and the Ravens fly straight at Cyborg.
"Oh, yeah, you're mine now, punks!" Cyborg grunts. A quick button combo later, sprite-Cyborg opens up both arms into sonic cannons and unloads them on his opponents. The Ravens take the blow hard, but continue to stand. They continue to fire beam after beam of telekinetic energy, but their attention is split now in two different directions, and neither can keep up the firing speed solo that they had together. Eventually Cyborg slips under white Raven's guard and pummels her, and the moment normal Raven turns to help, Beast Boy pounces on her.
Five seconds later, the match is over.
"YEAH! TAKE THAT!" Cyborg exclaims.
"Better learn some new strategies, dudes," Beast Boy chuckles.
The duo exit and enjoy the crowd's cheers for their victory. Though it had never really been in doubt, the two friends were quickly becoming the fan favorites.
"C'mon, let's take a break, I'm starving!" Beast Boy suggests.
"Yeah, I'm sure they have tofu 'round here somewhere," Cyborg snickers.
"Yeah, yeah, stuff a circuit in it, clunker."
"Hey, what happened to those guys in the cloaks?" Cyborg suddenly wonders, looking backward as he walks.
Beast Boy glanced back too. "Maybe they went to find some tofu, eh? Ha-ha-ha-ha-ooof! Hey, watch where you're going!"
Beast Boy looks up into the face of the figure who bumped into him…or at least, he looks at where the figure's face SHOULD be. But it is obscured by the shadow of a hooded black robe.
"Hey, it's you!" Beast Boy said. "We were just talkin' about ya! You're pretty good."
The figure is silent, unmoving.
"…Ooooookay then," Cyborg says after a handful of uncomfortable seconds. "Good talking to ya…sort of…"
He slowly backs away, but then he too bumps into someone…a mirror image of the figure in black. This person, however, wore white.
"Uhh…hi there…" Cyborg says.
"You may be quite skilled," the white-robed person says. "Very skilled, even…"
"But you will have to use all of it to stand a chance against us," black-robe continues. "Make no mistake, those peons out there don't truly provide any of us with real sport. They are nothing to we elites."
"We will meet each other in the finals," white-robe finishes. "This we all know. What transpires there…we shall see soon enough. Expect nothing less than the best from us, as we shall expect the same from you."
"Dude, who do you think you are?" Beast Boy demands.
The robed figures ignore the changeling. They about-face and stride away.
"HEY! I was talking to you!"
The figures don't answer, and a moment later they disappear among the crowd.
"Cocky little freaks…" Cyborg mutters.
"Don't worry, Cy, we'll show 'em how real pros do things soon enough!"
"Yeah…yeah, we will…"
"ALL RIGHT, FIGHTER FANS! THE MOMENT YOU'VE BEEN WAITING FOR HAS ARRIVED!"
The crowd explodes in redoubled cheers, and the host smiles euphorically.
"It's been a day of incredible matches, insane twists, and NONSTOP ACTION! But finally, we're down to the cream of the crop! The elite of the elite! Ladies and gentlemen – and tournament losers – "
The defeated enjoy a hearty laugh at their own expense.
"- we are proud to present to you…THE CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH!.!.!"
More cheers, cat-calls, and wolf-whistles rise from the crowd. The host allows it for a few moments, then raises a hand for silence.
"First, a duo shrouded in mystery. Not a soul knows who these two are, but they have been squashing the competition almost without even trying, and those intimidating cloaks of theirs certainly don't help matters. Their character choices have been all over the map from match to match, they have never yet exhibited the same strategy twice…indeed, they are the epitome of mystery, a style that has earned them a hearty nickname. Ladies and gentlemen…The Enigmas!"
A fair balance of boos and cheers meet the first pair as they emerge from backstage; just as they'd predicted earlier, the two figures in black and white robes and hoods stood facing the final round.
"And here to battle against these two are much more familiar faces, I can tell you that! They've saved our lives and kicked our butts, and now they're posed for victory in the championship…please welcome back the Teen Titans, Beast Boy and Cyborg!"
This time no boos are heard among the crowd as the duo stride onstage, waving emphatically at the crowds and enjoying the limelight.
"All right, then! Fighters, are you ready?"
"We were born ready!" Beast Boy exclaims.
"Let's do this," Cyborg agrees.
The robed duo – The Enigmas – merely nod.
"THEN LET THE BATTLE BEGIN!.!.!"
The cheers follow the two titans all the way into the booths until they shut the door, blocking all outside sound.
Cyborg takes a breath. "This is it. The big one."
Beast Boy nods along. "Yeah…this isn't gonna be as easy as we thought, huh?"
Cyborg shakes his head no. "We gotta give it our all, BB. No holding back."
Beast Boy gives the 'thumbs up.' "You got it. Let's finish this!"
As usual, Beast Boy and Cyborg select themselves. The Enigmas, true to their pattern, choose a duo they had not used so far the entire tournament.
"Slade…" Beast Boy grunts.
"And Brother Blood," Cyborg hisses.
Indeed, The Enigmas had chosen the Titans' worst enemies; Slade in his black, silver and orange armor, and Brother Blood in his glowing red, half-machine body.
"All right. I don't know which of those clowns decided to pick Blood, but he's mine."
"Fine by me," Beast Boy agrees.
"READY…FIGHT!.!.!" the game announcer calls.
Cyborg wastes no time in charging Brother Blood with a flurry of punches, trying to start a combo, but Blood blocks the blows smoothly, lands a hit under Cyborg's guard, and pounds the robotic sprite with a combo of his own.
Beast Boy, meanwhile, transforms into his gorilla morph, trying to outmuscle the Slade sprite, but to no avail. Slade leaps around like an acrobat, too fast for beast Boy to get a hold of him. Slade darts in, whacks beast Boy one with his staff, and retreats before the changeling can counter the hit. The four opponents back off momentarily, the Titans with slightly less life than before, and their opponents untouched.
"Man…these guys really are good," Cyborg says, somewhere between impressed and annoyed. "Okay…new tactics. Time for a partner super-combo!"
"Just give me the word," Beast Boy agrees.
"Wait for it…"
Slade and brother Blood break the standoff and dash forward.
"Wait for it…"
The villains each prepare a special move…
"NOW!"
The two Titans both punch in a button combo, and with a massive flash, the villains are caught completely off-guard and vulnerable. Beast Boy morphs into a porcupine, turns his back on the enemies, and fires spines from his back at high speed, impaling them with hundreds of needles, while the Cyborg sprite transforms his sonic cannons into massive blasters and unloads them on the unprotected villains.
"YEAH! BACK IN THE LEAD!" Cyborg shouts.
The villains recover like lightning, and dash forward again.
"Uh-oh…we can't use that combo again so fast!" Beast Boy realizes.
"Block 'em!" Cyborg shouts.
The Titans block the assault, but not well enough. The villains each break their way through the Titans' guard, and without warning unleash a super combo of their own. Slade pulls an enormous flaming axe from nowhere, and slashes Beast Boy's character straight across the chest, and Brother Blood, in full Cyborg mimickery, turns his own arms into blaster cannons and plows them into Cyborg's chest.
"Uunnhh…damn, they're good…" Cyborg grunts again. "Gotta be more careful…"
The crowd, oblivious to the tension within the booths, watch in awe as the match carries on in stalemate fashion for the next ten minutes, neither side landing more than a glancing blow here or a lucky shot there. But now both sides are worn down, all four life-meters in the danger zone.
Cyborg pounds a combo into the controller and activates his sprite's sonic cannon. Brother Blood blocks and prepares a counter, but Beast Boy slips in with a fist, forcing Blood to call off his attack so he could block. Slade leaps forward to knock Beast Boy away, but Cyborg mirrors him, and their blows cancel one another out.
"Cy, help!" Beast Boy cries. Cyborg glances at the changeling and gasps; Brother Blood is halfway through picking up the teen for a throw, more than enough to finish off his life meter.
"NO!" Cyborg leaps forward with a flying kick, and it connects with Brother Blood's unguarded back…but a split second too late; two flashes light up the screen, and both Blood's and Beast Boy's life meters fall to zero.
"DAMMIT!" Beast Boy swears. "Augh…well at least you got him right back…"
"Yeah, but…ah, dammit!"
"Oh crap, LOOK OUT!"
Too late, Cyborg notices Slade coming straight for him. He jabs a finger toward the block button, but he can't make it in time; Slade impales sprite-Cyborg with his staff, and with a third and final flash, the robotic Titan falls, his life meter empty.
"…We…we…lost…" Beast Boy whispered.
Cyborg sighs. "Damn…"
The duo emerges from their booth, and they are met with a round of applause.
"What an incredible match-up, ladies and gentlemen…" the host tells the crowd. "Let's have a big hand for the valiant runners-up, Beast Boy and Cyborg!"
Beast Boy and Cyborg manage small smiles. "Hey," the changeling says. "No shame in second, right?"
"Yeah," Cyborg said. He glanced over at the other booth, and frowned. "But just who the hell are those two?"
"Now, let's congratulate our winners, The Enigmas!"
The crowds cheer for the other pair now, just as the white- and black-robed figures emerge. The two Titans walk over to them and extend their hands.
"Good game, you two," Cyborg says. "But I just gotta know, who are you?"
The robed pair ignore the Titans' hands, and laugh mechanically. A second later, in unison, they snatch the folds of their cloaks and throw them off…
Every eye in the room bugs out, and every voice goes dead silent.
The uncloaked figures each point a dramatic finger at the Titans, who stare, dumbstruck.
"PWNED!.!.!" Slade and Brother Blood cry in unison.
Every jaw in the room drops to the floor.
"At last, I have defeated the Teen Titans," Slade snickers. "Now…you, host person…if you don't mind, I'd like my trophy now."
Slade snatches the golden trophy from the limp arms of the host, but a moment later Brother Blood makes a sound of protest.
"What do you mean, YOUR trophy?"
Slade turns to sneer at Blood. "If you'll remember, you were defeated in that match. The trophy belongs to me."
"Like hell it does!" Blood snarls. "I was the one who did the most damage! You just danced around with all your fancy acrobatics!"
"Irrelevant. The trophy is mine."
"In your DREAMS!"
Blood tackles Slade, and the two wrestle the trophy back and forth, rolling across the stage floor and out of sight.
Silence.
Silence…
Silence……
Clap……clap……clap……clap…clap…clap…clap clap clap clapclapclapclapclapCLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCLAP!
The audience erupts into a storm of applause. As though the scene before them had been nothing more than a part of the show. And they loved every second of it.
Beast Boy and Cyborg, however, do not join in the applause. They continue to stare, eyes wide, jaws open, dumbstruck.
After perhaps five minutes, Cyborg looks to Beast Boy.
"We turn around. We go home. We never speak of this again."
"Agreed."
The two turned, bolted for the door, and were gone.
THE END
Author's Notes: Okay, this isn't the update I bet you all were expecting or hoping for, but I kinda needed a bit of a break from writing, hence the long time since my last update. My apologies. While you wait for more of "Thresholding," I hope you enjoyed this wacky little oneshot. Special thanks goes to Lord Belgarion for allowing me the use of his concept, "Superhero Smackdown."
More to come on Thresholding soon.
-Cid