She watches Regina laugh, her head thrown back and brown eyes squinted in adoration. It bubbles something in her, boiling over again and again until she sees red. She wants to tell herself it's reasonable, that she has every reason to feel this way, but the simple truth is that she doesn't. She really doesn't.
Behind and in front of her, the part is going on at full force. Emma has a beer in one hand, just one, so she can't even blame it on being drunk. It was hilarious, actually, the "We survived" party they seemed to always have after some big bad event almost killed them all. Why was it always held at Granny's? Why was everyone in the damn town- whether they had any part in it or not, always invited-?
Regina touches Hood's arm and Emma takes a swig of her beer. She wants to risk looking around to make sure no one is looking at her looking at Regina-try saying that five times fast-but she can't take her eyes off the other woman.
If Emma thinks hard, indulge herself in some twisted fantasy, she might have had a chance. She can't say this for sure, not really, but she certainly can point out the times where it seemed like there was a possibility. There were definitely times Emma knew she liked Regina, even if Regina might not have felt the same way. She saved Regina from the darkness. Would she have done that for Hook?
Regina excuses herself from Hood to get a drink and Emma eyes follow her. She's in a pretty dress and a black jacket and it's so Regina-like that it makes Emma's breath catch. Then there is Henry, who Emma has barely noticed all night, too busy in the corner with that girl, and he walks up to his other mother. They seem to talk for a bit. Regina is acting stern, but Emma knows it's an act by the crinkle in her eyes and the smile fighting its way through. Finally, she just laughs and rubs his hair.
A second later she's placing an order for food. Emma think she's beautiful like that, just laughing with their son, their family. Emma imagines them a bunch of time as a family. At one point it wasn't t Regina, but someone else. Now? Now, she continues to look at Regina and she thinks, it could have been. But she didn't do anything. She's stuck now. She'll forever watch Regina, pretending to be happy, and she knows without a doubt it'll never be enough.