Opening Note: Don't kill me. I've got complications with The Reminiscence of a Dream's Reality due, to an idiotic move on my part. I wrote the beginning of the second chapter on my MacBook and then started another copy at school while I was bored in Business Management. And, as it would turn out, I ended up liking both drafts that were completely different. So, I've had to undergo the task of combining them both together and making them comprehensible which, let me tell you is no easy task. It's set me back and I don't know when I'll have that chapter out so to compensate for that, I started on this Seth one-shot that I vaguely mentioned I might start.
It's kind of a gift to make up for the fact that I haven't updated yet and it's going onto the one month mark of no updates. I do apologize, though. My sophomore year of high school doesn't end until June 3rd, due to the fact that we have to make up two weeks of weather emergencies and because of that I've also got to concentrate on finals. The only reason why I was able to write this was because I was listening to a song and I ended up whipping it up on a whim. Trust me -- I wrote this and edited it in less than three hours. My brain is weird. :D
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight nor do I own Seth Clearwater. I only take credit for the plot and OC that I've included.
Silence in Black and White
"I hate you!"
The words stung -- more than he would have admitted aloud, because his pride for some reason wouldn't allow him to rectify for the mistake that he had made. He just couldn't help what he had done. When he had imprinted on Nathalie, he found that he was a completely different person around her and because of that a sudden possessive streak had overwhelmed him. He'd heard the pack talk about it before, but he had never thought it would have gotten so bad to the point to where he had nearly attacked a childhood friend of hers. The guy had just hugged her; it was a simple hug and he had wanted to rip his throat out. The urge had been so strong that if it wasn't for the fact that Nathalie had been there then he probably would have killed him. But what could she expect? He had only imprinted on her less than a few months ago -- he still wasn't accustomed to controlling the emotions that would suddenly occur and intensify with anything that involved her.
"Don't -- " He stopped at the sudden lapse in his voice before continuing, " -- don't say something like that."
She felt a hysterical laugh escape her lips before she shook her head. "What do you expect me to say? Oh, I'm sorry that you couldn't control yourself and I'll make sure not to ever hug a friend of mine that's male? I was perfectly fine until you came into my life, Seth! I had a normal life, until you came up to me one day and said that you had imprinted on me, and immersed me into your complicated life! I mean, maybe if you stopped to look once in a while then you'd realize how uncomfortable I am with this whole situation! Did you even stop to think that maybe I don't want to be attached to someone who can't even control themselves for the rest of my life? Did you just automatically assume that I would accept this? You don't know anything about me!" She couldn't stop herself from pouring her heart and soul out despite her better judgment. This whole situation had been the last straw and she wasn't sure how much more she could take. She knew that even if she was given the chance to turn back time and stop her small tirade she knew that she would not have. These words needed to be said. He needed to understand that their relationship was far from perfect and that he had been blindsided to this the whole entire time.
He needed it -- and she was giving it to him without relent.
Seth felt his chest constrict just as soon as she had started and just as soon as she had ended. How could he have not realized? He had been so worked up with the fact that she had believed him and agreed with the arrangement that he hadn't even realized how unhappy she was. No one could take news like that after fifteen years of living differently; no one, and he should have known that out of all the people in the world. "What would you have me do?" He whispered, unsure what step to take next.
Nathalie stared at him. Her brown orbs stared into his and her normally creamy coffee colored skin had a pink tint on her cheeks. He'd never seen her so aggravated -- so out of breath and upset that, such a facial expression had come onto her face. "What do you think, Seth? What do you expect me to do? What can I do? Either way this goes, someone is going to be hurt. Whether intentionally or not you and I were bound as soon as we first locked eyes and you imprinted on me. I want to be mad at you! I want scream that I hate you over and over again but I can't! This -- this..." Her breath escaped her, as she attempted to find the correct words to explain how she felt. He took that moment to step forward towards her but she held up a hand to stop him. Her eyes were pleading before she continued, "...this binding of our souls not only effected you, but me as well. You have to realize that you're not the only one who's dealing with this problem. You have to learn to control your temper because if you expect me to just drop all of my childhood friends for you, than you've got another thing coming."
"I can't promise you that -- you know that, Nathalie. I can't guarantee that I'll be able to control myself the next time I'm thrust into that situation. The sudden possessiveness that I felt wasn't something that you can just expect me to restrain so easily. I could barely contain the urge to just phase and attack you for getting in my way. I can't..." He shook his head of curly brown hair and looked away from her. He was ashamed. She was supposed to be his soul mate -- the woman that he was supposed to spend the rest of his life with and he was supposed to protect her no matter the cost. But how could he be expected to do something like that, if he couldn't even protect her from himself? He was the worst person that could have imprinted on her and he was starting to regret that he had. Wouldn't she have been better off if he had never seen her? Or that she could have had someone stronger imprint on her? Someone like the rest of the pack?
"Then what do you want? I've made my decision Seth and it's time for you to make yours. What do you want? Because once I walk away there is no turning back -- I'm going to be gone for good." Her words were like ice despite the fact that she felt completely different on the inside. She didn't want to leave him, but she couldn't stay with him when he was like this. She didn't want to spend the rest of her life with someone that couldn't even promise that they wouldn't even be able to protect her from themselves. Nathalie didn't need that and the both of them were perfectly aware of it.
He made a noise, but said nothing more.
She whispered, "Say something,"
He said nothing.
She could feel her eyes begin to burn but, she kept the feeling at bay to not show her weakness. If she showed even the smallest amount of feeling then she wouldn't be able to bring herself to leave and she'd be giving him the easy way out. Nathalie wanted him to prove to her that he was going to do his best to not act the way he did earlier that afternoon. She wanted him to show her -- say anything! -- but he wasn't doing that. He was just standing there and doing nothing and it gave her the answer that she wanted. He didn't want her. She didn't need him. Nodding her head, she smiled bitterly before tucking a lock of black hair behind her right ear.
I don't need him. I don't need him. I don't need him. I don't need him.
She repeated those words in her thoughts as she took as step back and continued to stare at him. He was seemingly unaffected as he continued to look down at the patchy green grass that the both of them currently stood on. Their current location was a playground not too far away from where the whole mess had begun. She had dragged him there, so that she could speak to him in private. Their homes were too much of a distance away and she hadn't wanted to be interrupted by either of their families. Her elder brother Nicholas would have murdered Seth and she knew that Leah wouldn't have been to easy on her either, for being so harsh with her brother. She didn't want to make this more complicated than it already was. She took another step back and before she could stop herself she heard a small sob break loose from her lips. It was so silent that a normal person would not have heard it -- she barely did -- but he had. And just like that, his sudden trance was broken he looked up at her with such an intense gaze that she stopped in her tracks.
"Don't go," His words were pleading but not enough to change her conviction.
She let out a shudder of a sigh, "Then promise,"
His next words were a simple whisper, "I can't,"
"Then why are you -- "
Seth didn't give her the chance to finish her sentence. He instead took two quick and long strides towards her before grabbing her shoulders and pulling her into a hard kiss. He wasn't sure how to convey to her in words how much he felt for her -- how much he didn't want to lose her and why he couldn't help but act the way he did whenever he saw someone else touch her. Those sudden feelings he had to deal with were so alien, that he didn't know what to do with them nor did he know how to control them and mold them into the thing that she wanted them to be. Her shoulders tensed as he gripped them tightly, before relaxing as she pressed her lips to his and the kiss became softer, but not less passionate. The both of them stood in the park not paying attention to anyone as the time passed by and their lips moved against the others. Nathalie couldn't understand it. She couldn't comprehend how she was so livid at him that she wanted to leave him one moment and then the next she wanted him to never let her go. She didn't know where her conviction went...
The both of them pulled away from each other and their foreheads touched as they greedily sucked oxygen into their lungs. Seth wanted so desperately to kiss her again, but he knew that he had to speak to her while he had the chance. "I acted like that, because I love you too damn much." He chuckled and rubbed his nose against hers before pressing a kiss to the corner of her lips and looking into her eyes. "I can't make that promise because I love you. I'm not used to this emotion, Nathalie. I've never felt this attachment to person before that's so bad to the point to where I'd gladly end my life just so you could live. That emotion is just so uncontrollable to the point to where if I were to suddenly rid myself of it, then I wouldn't even love you anymore. I wouldn't be able to devote myself to the both of us. I know that it's only been a few months since we've known each other but this feeling is so damn strong that I'd be lost without you. I don't want to lose you. And when I see another guy touch you, that's the only thing that I can think or feel. That he's going to take you away from me and that I'll be left on my own. Don't you see? If I were to make that promise then I'd be making an oath to not love you anymore and to not care whether or not you left me or if you stopped loving me. I wouldn't be able to do that -- and even thinking about you leaving me makes my chest hurt so bad it's painful. I don't want to lose you -- I don't want you to leave me; please, you have to understand."
His words were so full of emotion that she was suddenly the one left rendered speechless and she realized that she was crying. She just couldn't understand it, though. They didn't know anything about each other and yet the both of them loved each other so much already. Was this what it meant to be in love? Was this what it meant to find one's soul mate? She couldn't help but begin to laugh, as he suddenly wiped away her tears causing him to stop his task and look at her in confusion. The both of them had pulled back away from each other, but they were still so close to where his arm had moved and wrapped around her waist. His stare inquired what she was laughing about silently and she had to find her voice before replying, "Suddenly you've done it all, Seth Clearwater. You've won me over in no time at all."
Ending Note: I know that Nathalie seems a bit rocky, but you have to understand where she's coming from. She's used to independence and not having some guy constantly be so protective over her to the point of violence. She wanted Seth to understand that she wants independence and some semblance of her normal life despite the fact that it's not normal anymore. She wasn't able to comprehend why he acted the way he did and why he couldn't make a promise to her which was why she wanted to leave him. She didn't want to be with someone who couldn't control themselves. Heehee, I hope that makes sense. I'm not good at explaining these types of things and I was unsure if that message was conveyed through this oneshot. But, nonetheless I hope that you enjoyed it. Leave me a review and tell me what ya think~!
P.S. I'll write you a one-shot of your choosing if you can tell me what song and artist that last line came from! ;D