A/N: The only thing I own even remotely connected to this story is my computer, and that's questionable at best.
Twas the night after Halloween, and all through the house
every creature was stirring, including the zombified mouse.
For after Itachi had trapped most everyones gaze
in the freaky and mentally scarring mangekyo haze
Hidan, the only (other than Konan) one to escape its reach
decided to raise the dead rather than kill, pray, or preach.
Probably because he's a hot nutter like that.
Go figure.
Regardless: For some reason or another he thought it wise
to revive some corpses to praise Jashin and terrorize
pretty much anyone he could meet or see
while being the sexiest religious loon he could be.
Not that that's hard; the man's walking smex.
So after Itachi's spell , reflected on him via mirror, was broken,
And the various insults, whines, and whatnot were spoken
A silence did fill the room
epiloged by a necromancing BOOM!
Ok, screw the rhyming – this is harder than it looks.
So anyways, dead dudes and animals and maybe a spider or two were all 'rawr, brains for Jashin, rawr!' and the guys were all 'oshi! Runz!", and Hidan's all laughing his ass off in the background in this gay little number – I swear, it was like, what, a hello kitty apron and NOTHING, I mean NOTHING, else.
Man's got an ass like Adonis… Mmmm…
But anyways, long story short (-ish), Deidara blows up half the Akatsuki hideout, Zetsu set more flytraps out than all the Wal-Mart's in all the lands could ever hope to do, Pein teleports his ass outta there and Sasori's all "Screw this shit" and starts working with the zeds! Cute kid. Weird, and technically not a kid, but cute nonetheless. Too bad he's all 'Ken-doll'.
Hmmm… If there's nothing down there, then isn't he really just an 'it', like a rock or a soda or Orochimaru?
So anyways, this shit goes on till morning when apparently the zed magic goes all 'splody and what not, taking out the kitchen and living room, not to mention half the living areas and secret tunnels Kakazu just had to put in last fall…
So Hidan's pissed now cuz everyone's still alive…
"What the shit are you doing?" Hidan demanded.
"Nothing you computer illiterate wackjob. Fuck off already," Konan retorted, "isn't it time for church like a good little alter boy?"
"You little piece of shit whore…" he began, only to be cut off by the Leader. 'All members involved in last nights… 'incident', report to my room. NOW.'
Hidan snorted as he left, "Lucky bitch…"
Konan grinned when he'd gone, returning to her MySpace page.
…and now Leader-sama's called all those schmucks into his room for a good mental quartering or five. I love my life.