Prompt: Ephemeral (definition: lasting for a very short time)
Disclaimer: I do not own Wolf's Rain and am not making any profit from this writing.
I remember I once read a review of Wolf's Rain and they interpreted the ending with the suggestion that "we get the feeling Kiba has undergone this journey before" or something like that. So, when I saw this prompt, I remembered that review, and ta-da! This story/semi-drabble was born.
Pairings: implied Kiba/Cheza, Kiba/Hige if you squint and tilt your head sideways
Ephemeral
Kiba told himself he wouldn't make the same mistakes. He wouldn't take anyone else with him, this time. This time, he would go it alone. No one would need to be hurt again. He wouldn't bring anyone else into his quest. Not this time.
She is the only constant. Every time, she's there. She is the only one that ever crosses over with him, into the next world. The others die. Without fail, they always die. In the end, when the world is crumbling around them, it's just him and Cheza.
Their lives are so short. They only have a few years at the most, before they die. Kiba and Cheza have lived lifetimes together. They have lost each other, but he always knows she's there, waiting in the wings. Always, she waits for him to find her.
Perhaps that is why he feels such devotion to her. The others question him, confused by his love for the flower maiden, angry at his refusal to accept the bond of pack. It's easy to focus on Cheza. She's his rock, always there even when everyone else is dead and gone.
The names and faces are different each time. Once, it was a pair of sisters, and two male pups. That had been truly awful, to watch the puppies cornered and slaughtered like pigs in a pen, and then the girls drown in a river, one trying to save the other. Another time, it had been his own siblings, three sisters and an older brother, that had joined his quest. They died one after the other – by bullets, flame, swords, and a terrible fall. The last time, his pack consisted of a lovesick female, a brother-sister pair, and another male. A single encounter with a troop of soldiers had killed three of the four, leaving only the lovesick girl. She finally froze to death after a fall into the icy artic water.
There were always four. Always, four faithful wolves followed Kiba, their alpha, and Cheza, their flower maiden, until the bitter end. It was always wolves – never before had a wolfdog and a pair of humans joined his quest.
He told himself he would not hurt anyone else. It was a promise he could not keep. It was all Hige's fault, really.
The tawny wolf had stood there so calmly, in that infuriating human form. Kiba had wanted to bite him, make him drop that ridiculous illusion. His smiling crimson eyes reminded him of something though. Perhaps that was why he had listened, when the other wolf gently chastised him for his pride.
His eyes were almost, although not quite, reminiscent of his beloved Cheza's, if only in color. They lacked the all-knowing frozen stare of the flower maiden, but the same gentleness he always saw in her eyes was reflected too in Hige's eyes. There was something else there though, something he had only seen in one other wolf's eyes.
He couldn't quite explain it. It was just…there. It wasn't the way Hige looked at him, or the other wolves, or even Cheza. It was the way he looked at the world. It was the same look he had seen in her eyes, the lovesick girl that had died in their last journey.
Kiba had been fond of that girl. He never returned her feelings, but it was hard not to grow attached to someone like that. Kind. Warm. Selfless. She had always known Kiba would never love her, and yet, she stayed faithfully by his side until death came for her.
Hige had shown the same devotion. He had been the one to truly bring the pack together. Kiba had been determined not to have another pack, but the tawny wolf would not allow it. He had followed him immediately, never questioning whether he was even wanted. He had broken down the white wolf's walls, and before he had a chance to mount his defenses and escape, he had a pack again.
Tsume. Toboe. Blue. She had been a shock to his system. Never before had Cheza chosen a hybrid to travel with them. Kiba had no illusions about his pack, he knew Cheza was the one that truly chose all of his companions. His own opinion mattered very little. He could caution her, and try to steer her away, as he had attempted with Blue, but ultimately, it was up to the flower maiden to decide.
She recruited each of his wolves, calling to them with her scent. Kiba had spent many a night wondering why she had chosen Blue. The wolfdog had not responded to her initial call – if she had, she would have left Freeze City with them. She had stayed with Quent the hunter, hunting her own kind, until Cheza found her and spoke to her wolf half. Even then, she had not followed them away. Something had finally driven her away from her master, but until then, she had not come.
Why did Cheza invest such effort in a hybrid, he wondered? Was it because there was no other pure wolf that could make the journey? He understood that the journey could not be completed with fewer than five wolves, himself included. He just didn't understand why Blue, only half wolf, was part of the equation.
Although Blue confused him, she was a welcome change. Any change was a welcome change. Change meant they might be improving. He knew that each time, Cheza chose the pack she felt most likely to succeed. Never had they truly succeeded. Oh, they opened the new world, they never failed to do that. But they never opened Paradise.
Perhaps with Blue and the human couple, they might succeed, Kiba had thought. At this point, he was willing to try anything. If it meant he might finally succeed, might finally open the Paradise they so longed for, he would do it.
He had thought wrong. Once again, they had failed to open Paradise. He had seen the pain in Cheza's eyes as she wilted, knowing that they had failed once again, despite her choices. The strongest pack she had ever recruited, and they still failed. He wished he could die with her, it would be so much easier. That had never happened though.
He carried her until the ice cracked beneath him, and he drowned. As usual, she had swept him away just as he thought the pain would never end. He woke in the new world.
He lay in a den, his new littermates all around him. He couldn't open his eyes, and he couldn't really see or smell either, but he knew that his new mother was in the den with them, nursing her newborns. It was a strange feeling, being a puppy again, but he relished it, and enjoyed it while he could. Until Cheza called upon him again, he would rest with his new family.
He knew that the other wolves would appear to him one day. He decided that, this time, he would not allow them to follow him. It could not happen again. He would do it alone. This time, he would rather fail to open the new world, than to kill his pack again. He had been disappointed too many times. Cheza had been disappointed too many times. She should not have to watch her beloved wolves die yet again.
He left his pack when Cheza's call grew too loud to resist. He noted, with no small relief, that she had not chosen any of his siblings to follow him this time. They would be difficult to ward off, and he would much rather they stay safely at home. He was so tired of watching his pack die. He wandered for months before he chanced upon another wolf, at the edge of a human city.
The other wolf was disguised as a human. Kiba knew he should leave, and quickly, in case Cheza had called this wolf to journey with them, but he could not resist the pull. He just wanted to meet the other wolf, to see another of his kind once again. The other wolf looked up curiously at Kiba's approach, and he felt his breath leave him as crimson eyes met his own yellow ones.
Let's meet again in Paradise.
"Hige?"
The names and faces were different each time. Not this time.
Maybe, this time, they could make it to Paradise.
What happens after that? You'll have to decide that for yourselves. There's no right answer, it's up to your interpretation. :)
Thoughts?