How I Scammed Pokemon Players
BY Thomas Gonzalez
Hello, everyone. My name is Thomas Gonzalez, and I came for a reason. I mean, ya don't go up to a stand-up comedy stage, and say, "Hello, everyone. My name is insert-name-here. Thank you, everyone. I'm insert-name-here, thanks for listening". I mean that defeats the point. Now onto the story that will blow you away. This is a story about how I scammed Pokemon players. Well, not scammed, only one of them was a half-scam. The first one happened somewhere in early 2016, I was playing Pokemon X, the game with the rainbow deer on the boxart, ya hear? A RAINBOW. DEAR. My older sister, that's what she calls it. I call it Rudolf the Blue Nosed Reindeer. The red one? That's the bacon bird. So I'm on Wonder Trade, you know, that online thing where you trade useless creatures to people that are trading Shinies, you hear? 1% find rate. So I put in a Spinda, the out-of-whack panda. The thing was, I was expecting a useless Pokemon in return, because you know, the world is filled with trolls. So I put it in, confirm it, and wait. Waiting for that quarter-second of lag that says it's ready. So the screen goes black. And the trade begins. The drunk panda gets ready for the trade. It shows the Pokemon I'm getting. And as soon as I see it, I cannot believe my eyes. A shiny, Level 100, Haxorus. And I got it from a Spinda. The red panda bear that looks like it's been to the bar one too many times. So as soon as I got it, I'm imagining the player on the other end, staring at their screen, completely dumbfounded, must be thinking, "I will question my life decisions before I do it from now on". And that's the first story. The second one was pretty much the same as the first, except it was a Muk. I can't remember what level it was, but hey. A Shiny is a Shiny. But the final story, that will be a blast to talk about. So, I guess you know that February was the month of the 20th Anniversary of Pokemon. It was a special time. So, Nintendo said that from February on, they will be distributing a mythical Pokemon, every once a month, for a certain time period. So the first one was Mew, in February. Here's the thing; you have to go to a GameStop, get a special code from some Pokemon merch, and put it in Mystery Gift. I didn't have time to go there, bummer. Sad face emoji. BUT! Considering who I am, I had not given up hopes yet. And believe what I say beyond this point. I went to the Global Trade Service, and put in a Pokemon around Level 50, and asked for a 20th Anniversary Mew in return. You must be thinking, "Hah! This guy thinks people are dumb enough to fall for that!" Well, there are some. I put the trade in, but, I hadn't played in a loooooooooooooong time. I had put more time on the Wii U, played some Splatoon, Mario Kart 8. So. When I got back on, I decided to go to GTS to roam around. But when it took longer to load than usual, I knew something was up. The screen then said, "Your deposit has been traded!" or something, I don't have infinite memory. At that time, I COMPLETELY forgot that I asked for a Mew. A pokeball appeared, then a flash of light. When the light went away, I saw, in front of me, a Mew. Soon after, I checked its stats. Level 100. Event Ball. This was the Mew I wanted. And THAT, ladies and gentleman, is the three-part true story on how I unwillingly got three Pokemon. Two shiny. One mythical. Thank you, everybody. I'm Thomas Gonzalez. Thanks for listening.