A/n: So, I decided to write a Tatsumi x Watari fic, since I've been neglecting one shots for my chapter fic. I only just formulated this one shot last night while trying to get to sleep. Also, look out for a Tsuzuki x Hisoka coming out. (Giggles) just because I've tortured Koneko long enough. If you want the effect, read this while listening to "bother" by stone sour. Anyway, please review!
Masochists to Which I Cater
''
Watari stared at the blank paper in front of him.
'There are so many things I want to tell you Tatsumi-san. Probably too many.'
So he began to write.
'Tatsumi…'
And he stopped.
He closed his eyes and began again, not thinking about his words, just allowing his emotions to do the work for him.
When had he begun to feel this way?
He couldn't remember how long ago it was when he'd waken up in the secretary's arms, both covered in blood and scratched to hell from being attacked on a case.
He had been in so much pain then and Tatsumi had done everything he could to ease it, even though he himself had been is nearly as much.
They were trapped at the bottom of a well for three days, both too weak to be able to do anything.
All they had was each other, and Watari began to feel the strings of his heart being pulled towards Tatsumi.
Now he closed his eyes, trying to remember that time so that he could pull those words he'd wanted so desperately to speak then, onto the paper before him.
''
It was supposed to be an easy case, and the first part was.
Bring the soul back like usual.
It wasn't hard to find the old man.
He was attached to his boat.
What they didn't know was the reason.
Once they had returned to the ministry, cases began popping up all around the area and finally they realized it was the work of a demon.
So they were sent back out, this time with the intent of ridding the area of the evil, but it wasn't as cut and dry as that.
This happened to be one of Sagatanasu's soldiers looking to get at Tsuzuki.
Except he didn't realize he was in the wrong district and was extremely pissed when Watari and Tatsumi showed up.
The fight was taken inland where they had almost succeeded in destroying him, however he was able to get the upper hand at the last moment and attacked, sending Watari crashing through the well's iron gate.
Tatsumi felt sick as he heard Watari hit the ground almost a full minute later.
Thirty-six feet below him, Watari had lost consciousness.
He was never sure what happened but Tatsumi had assured him that the problem was taken care of.
He looked like he'd been through hell, but Watari's pain lasted longer.
Steel shards bit into his sides and it took a while to find them all.
Once the shards were removed Watari tried to sit up, only to drop back into Tatsumi's arms.
"I…think I broke…my ribs."
Tatsumi sighed.
Those would take longer to heal.
He gently pulled Watari closer and rested the blonds' head in his lap, whispering softly.
"As soon as I'm able to I'll get us out of here. Just lay back and close your eyes."
Watari found it hurt to breath but Tatsumi gently brushed away his bangs and smoothed out his blood soaked hair, now stained orange.
"We'll both get through this soon okay?"
Watari whimpered, brought to tears by the immense pain he was in.
"It just hurts so much."
Tatsumi nodded, gently blowing on Watari's forehead.
"I know. Just try to get some sleep okay?"
Watari closed his eyes, his entire body shaking, and soon fell into a shock induced sleep.
''
The next time he awoke they were back at the ministry and in the infirmary.
Tatsumi looked back to normal, sleeping quietly beside him on a chair.
Watari himself felt well but his ribs still hurt and he had no idea how long he'd been out.
Tatsumi woke with a start as Watari gently touched his hand.
"Watari, are you better?"
The blond nodded, but was suddenly doubled over in pain.
"What is…wrong with me!"
Tatsumi sighed deeply and took his hand.
"You've only been here for twelve hours. All of your ribs were broken and they found more shards."
The pain slowly subsided long enough to ease back into a comfortable position.
"How long have I been out?"
Tatsumi frowned deeply.
"Three and a half days. I was very concerned."
Watari stared at Tatsumi for a moment.
He seemed different some how, colder…less feeling.
"Maybe it's whatever's in this iv in my arm, but it really didn't sound like you meant that."
Tatsumi blinked a moment.
"I apologize Watari. If I seem dry it's simply because I'm tired. I've been sitting here with you since we returned."
Watari still wasn't convinced but he let it go.
Without warning the intense pain struck again, this time bringing him to tears.
Tatsumi stood and buzzed for the nurse.
"I think it's time for some pain killers."
Watari was in too much pain to notice a sudden smirk that swept quickly across the secretary's lips and then vanished just as quickly.
''
Watari was better after the pain killers had settled in and he was happy to see Hisoka sitting next to him as he opened his eyes from a nap he'd been able to snag.
The boy smiled softly.
"Can I get anything for you Watari?"
He shook his head.
"I'm okay, thanks."
Hisoka sat back in the chair and looked worriedly at the older blond.
"Watari…what happened to the demon?"
Watari was silent for a moment.
"I'm sure Tatsumi killed it. I don't know how though, I was unconscious for several hours after I hit the bottom of that well. He told me everything had been taken care of."
Watari's own words made him more suspicious that something was wrong with Tatsumi and the look in Hisoka's eyes confirmed it.
"I don't think everything is said and done yet Watari. There's a very evil aura surrounding him. One that's almost as strong as when Tsuzuki was possessed. I was right then, and unfortunately I believe I'm right now."
Watari sighed deeply.
"I wish I could argue with you, but I have been suspecting myself. He's just not acting right."
Hisoka closed his eyes as he stood.
"I'm afraid we won't know for sure until Tsuzuki gets back. Try to get some rest okay? I'll keep an eye out on you."
Watari smiled.
"Thanks, Hisoka."
''
Watari wasn't sure when he'd drifted off again, or for how long, but when he woke he felt much better.
His chest didn't hurt anymore and lifting his shirt showed no signs of the open cuts that had been there before.
He looked up as Tatsumi entered the room.
"Watari…you're awake. Are you feeling okay now?"
Watari nodded.
"I think I'm all healed now. What do you say to joining me for lunch?"
Tatsumi chuckled softly.
"It's far past lunch, but I think it's a good sign that you're hungry. Does dinner sound okay?"
Watari smiled, momentarily forgetting about the conversation he and Hisoka had.
But as he stared into the blue eyes, something seemed off still.
His eyes were usually vibrant, but now they were dull.
Watari decided to see if there was any of Tatsumi left.
He stood slowly, pretending to test his feet.
He closed his eyes with a heavy breath and placed his hand to his forehead.
"Maybe that…"
And he started to fall. Frantic footsteps crossed the room far faster than Tatsumi normally could have and caught him.
Settling him to the floor, Tatsumi looked down worriedly at his partner.
"Watari?"
Watari was afraid to open his eyes.
He didn't want to see those dull eyes up close, but he knew he had to.
Slowly he opened them and was relieved to see the luster back in them.
Maybe there was hope left after all.
"Ta…Tatsumi-san. I'm so sorry I…"
Tatsumi placed a finger over his lips and shook his head.
"I shouldn't have let you try that. You're still medicated and it wasn't a good idea to get out of bed so fast."
Watari closed his eyes again with a deep sigh as Tatsumi's eyes returned to their dull state.
"Stay with me for a while?"
He was shocked as he suddenly felt Tatsumi's lips on his own and this time he really did feel very dizzy.
The voice that whispered was not entirely Tatsumi's.
"As long as you like. My paperwork is caught up for now."
He was further shocked as Tatsumi picked him up with no effort and put him back on the bed.
Silently he fought off tears.
Who's idea was it to kiss him?
Was that the loving Tatsumi that had sat with him in the darkened well, or was it the monster within trying to protect his host?
Was Tatsumi in control of his body at all?
His mind?
Watari lay there silently and pretended to fall asleep.
He wanted Tatsumi there with him, not this hybrid.
He was relieved when Tatsumi left again and turned onto his side, facing the window.
He stared out at the pink flurry of Sakura petals and tears fell silently from his eyes.
It had taken two shikigami to destroy the last one, what would Tatsumi have to go through to get rid of this one?
With no Shikigami to protect him, how would he fight off the evil inside his body?
These were the questions that weighed heavily on Watari's mind.
''
Hours had gone by and he'd just laid there staring at the grounds outside.
He could see the glow of the main building from here, it tall darkness silhouetted against pale white and pink under the moonlight.
Some part of him had hoped that Tatsumi would come back and keep his promise of dinner together, but he knew that wasn't going to happen because Tsuzuki was supposed to be back from a case he'd taken with Wakaba.
He sat up and brushed his hair through with his fingers.
He shivered, finding clumps of matted hair with still drying blood in them.
He decided a good shower was in order and he made his way to the bathing area of the infirmary annex.
On his way he grabbed his hair brush from off his desk.
His clothes too were blood stained and torn, though his pants were at least still wearable.
He threw the shirt into the trash as he reached the showers, and stripped himself of his lower clothing before turning the water on.
He set his brush on a small shelf in front of him and sighed happily as the hot water ran down over his hair and aching shoulders.
Once the water at his feet ran clear he picked up the shampoo and brush once again.
His hair was his pride and anything wrong with it made him unhappy.
Though the blood had all rinsed out he was having trouble with the tangles.
He gave up for a moment to soak it in conditioner but stopped short as he heard a voice behind him.
"Can I help you?"
He turned slowly to find Tatsumi and his eyes widened.
"What are you…?"
Tatsumi smiled eerily.
"I came to check on you and when you weren't there I thought I'd find you here."
Watari was unsure of what to say or do.
Tatsumi had never just easily walked in.
Sure they'd all been in hot springs together, but Tatsumi preferred to shower alone.
This is how Watari knew without a doubt that Tatsumi had little to no control over his own body.
He froze at Tatsumi shrugged off his jacket, tie, and shirt.
"What are you doing!"
Tatsumi chuckled slightly at Watari's uneasiness.
"I'm helping you brush out your hair. I can't very well do that in a suite."
Watari was rather thankful as Tatsumi picked up a towel and wrapped it around his waist before taking off his pants.
If this had really been Tatsumi, Watari wouldn't have minded so much.
Tatsumi took the brush from him and slowly began to work through the knots at the bottom first.
Watari had never felt so vulnerable than at this second.
It was a very uncomfortable feeling and he finally broke and sank to his knees as Tatsumi gently ran his fingers over the blonds shoulder.
The water could not hide his cries and Tatsumi stood there silently for a moment.
"Just leave me alone. I don't want your help."
Tatsumi refused to move.
"Watari, what's wrong? Did I hurt you?"
Watari looked up into his eyes.
"I know you're not Tatsumi so just stop trying."
There was a look of shock on his face for a moment before it settled into amusement.
"And how did you know that?"
Watari looked down, hugging himself tightly.
"Tatsumi would never want to bathe with me. He's a very private person. You're getting him all wrong and if you really want Tsuzuki you're going to have to do better than that."
He kneeled down to the blond and gently brushed away the bangs covering his eyes.
"Will you help me if I promise to let your friend go?"
Watari looked up at him, silently considering this.
"What is it you want me to do?"
Tatsumi smiled at this.
"Take me to Tsuzuki and the moment I see him I will give you back your friend. There's something you should know though."
Watari closed his eyes, sinking further onto the tile.
"What?"
Tatsumi leaned down and kissed him.
"This Tatsumi of yours…he's very much in love with you…and so am I."
Watari hid his face in his hands and shook his head.
"I want Tatsumi back! I'll take you to Tsuzuki, just leave me be for the moment! You've waited this long, can't you wait just ten more minutes? Do you know what I've gone through in the last week? Do you care!"
Tatsumi stood and pulled his clothes back on.
"When I kill Tsuzuki it won't matter what you feel or how long I've waited because I will have what I want."
And with that he was gone.
Watari picked up his brush again and silently cried to himself as he brushed out his hair.
He hated to betray Tsuzuki but it was killing him to see Tatsumi this way.
''
Watari didn't feel right about this as he lead the demon possessed Tatsumi to Tsuzuki's house, but in all truthfulness, Tsuzuki had a better chance of fighting it off than Tatsumi.
They stopped outside the door and Watari turned to them.
"I want to know how you have so much control over Tatsumi."
He suddenly looked around and then stared in shock as he looked upon Watari's trembling form.
"Wa...Watari?"
Watari looked away.
"So tell me, why did you do it? You made a deal with him didn't you?"
Tatsumi closed his eyes.
"We wouldn't have lived. I knew that. I needed his strength to get home to get help. In return I swore I'd give Tsuzuki to him. I never intended to keep my word but I thought I could fight him better from inside...I was wrong."
Watari closed his eyes and fought back another on slot of tears.
His emotions had been running wild these past few days and with all that was happening he didn't have the will to stop them.
"Than was it him alone who kissed me?"
Before Tatsumi could answer, Tsuzuki appeared in his doorway and the demon left him.
Tatsumi suddenly felt very dizzy and collapsed, Watari just barely catching him.
He had no time to think as they were attacked and he stood, shielding Tatsumi.
Once he got a good look at it, however, he realized it had lost quite a bit of power since the last time he'd seen it.
He closed his eyes with a smirk and the wind began to swirl around him.
"Your first mistake was trusting a shinigami to betray his own kind. And you did it twice. You're second and most fatal mistake was that you left your willing hosts body to attack because now, I'm going to annihilate you. I hope you like fire, because that's how you're going to die."
Before the creature could make a counter attack, the air around it suddenly burst into flames and in a bright orange flash it was gone.
Watari quivered for a moment, feeling his energy drain as the flames disappeared, and turned back to Tatsumi who was just waking up.
"It's...gone."
And with that he fell.
''
When he woke again it was daylight and Tatsumi was sitting beside him.
He wanted to tell Tatsumi so many things but he couldn't find the words.
At that moment he wanted most, to be alone and think about what had happened.
So he sat up for a moment, gaining his balance back, and stood, staring silently into Tatsumi's eyes.
The secretary was the first to speak.
" Watari...I want to apologize."
Watari closed his eyes and shook his head.
"I really don't want to talk about it right now. I'm going to my place for a while where I really need to be alone. I will come back when I feel like I've straightened things out and can talk rationally. Right now my emotions are going in so many directions that I don't know what to think or to say."
He left Tatsumi staring after him and that's how he ended up here, writing a letter to the secretary.
He opened his eyes and stared down at the paper.
He'd written a whole page, but all it said over and over again was
"I love you."
So he set the pen down and folded the paper and left.
He walked slowly under the gently swaying Sakura and stopped as he spotted the very man he'd been looking for.
He sat beneath one of threes at a table with two cups of tea.
He smiled softly as he noticed Watari and motioned for him to come over.
He approached slowly and pulled the paper from his pocket.
"Tatsumi. I know this doesn't make much sense but...I need to give it to you anyway."
Tatsumi took it from him and a soft smiled graced his lips.
"From your hand writing I can tell this took a lot of thought. Do you still want to know about those kisses?"
Watari sunk into the chair across from him and nodded, smiling softly as he realized this cup of tea was his favorite flavor.
It was still hot so he knew Tatsumi couldn't have been here long.
Tatsumi knew him in a way that no one else could some times.
"I don't know. Do I?"
Tatsumi was silent for a moment as he sipped at his tea.
When he looked up at the blond, his eyes sparkled and Watari felt his heart beat faster.
"I was telling it to do those things. It did for me, what I have been unable to do myself. Yes Watari, it really was me kissing you, it was me who said I loved you and I meant it."
He stood suddenly and pulled Watari out of his chair, holding him tightly.
"Watari, I made a horrible mistake and I'm sorry."
Watari looked away with a heavy sigh.
"It's over now. Let's forget about it."
Tatsumi smiled softly and lifted Watari's face to meet his own, gently pressing his lips to the blonds.
Watari wrapped his arms around Tatsumi's neck and deepened the kiss.
They stood there for a long moment, each refusing to let go of the other.
Finally it was Tatsumi who broke away, both out of breath.
Watari refused to open his eyes and his entire body tingled as Tatsumi leaned in and kissed him again before letting go of him and taking his hands.
Watari stared into his eyes for a moment.
"Is this our beginning Tatsumi?"
The secretary smiled warmly and shook his head.
He pulled Watari close again and ran his fingers through the blonds silken hair.
"Beginnings have ends and I don't ever want us to end. Now that I can freely hold you in my arms, I don't want to let you go."
Watari closed his eyes happily and rested his head on Tatsumi's shoulder and whispered.
"I'm happy standing here, just like this."
And that's where they stayed, swaying gently in each others arms until the sun rose.
''
XD yup, end. Please review.