Title: Tales of Mother Duck.
Summary: All of the tennis players were forced to join different plays! With Yanagisawa as their narrator and Mizuki as the soon manager, who knows what kind of chaos will ensue? Chapter 1: "Ne, ne, gramma, why do you look like a rock?"
Warnings: Idiotic crack, nonsense. 'nuff said.
Disclaimer: I shall never own Prince of Tennis, unless I'm the lost daughter of Konomi-sensei…Now THAT is impossible! XD
Chapter 1: Little Akaya Riding Hood.
- - -
The curtains had opened and revealed a scene of peace and tranquility. A peaceful forest and a small cottage could be found. Soon, all the lights were focused on the small stage.
'Once upon a time, on a far away land da ne, there lived a small child and her mother da ne. She was a little girl who wore a red hood and had a very cute face da ne. She and her mother lived peacefully on a small cottage near a forest da ne.
One day, her mother called her and told her to run some errands for her da ne.'
A guy disguised as a little girl entered the stage, skipping merrily in front of a huge audience.
"My dear child," The mother said in her husky kansai voice, patting the little one's head. "Would you please take this basket of goods to your sick grandmother?"
"Sure, Oshitari from Hyotei." The boy with black curly hair, who was supposedly playing the role of a sweet little girl who was about to deliver a basket of goods to her grandma, grouched at the supposed mother.
Some voices from backstage called his attention.
"Akaya! You're supposed to call him mom!" A bespectacled guy who was wearing a princely outfit said.
"Oh." Kirihara muttered, then turned to his mom. "Sure, mom." He said in an almost uncaring voice.
"Yes, please do take this to grandma Yukimura." Oshitari said and pointed at the big fake picture of a forest behind them. "You should take this path, the woods. It would be easier to reach her small hut if you go through here."
"Yeah, yeah. I know that already. It's written all over the script." Little Akaya riding hood rolled her eyes.
"You aren't supposed to say that!" A guy, namely Seigaku's fukubuchou whispered from backstage.
"I mean…" Kirihara trailed off, then thought of an excuse. "Dear mother from Hyotei, just please give me the basket full of goods for me to deliver to my dear buchou grandma, Yukimura."
"Ahh, yes. Here." Mother handed the little basket to her daughter. "Take care, my little one."
"Pssh, who are you calling little one? You're only at least a few centimeters taller than me." Kirihara grumbled as the scene changed. The stage darkened as they turned off the lighting.
'Little Red-riding hood took the path of the woods and skipped merrily da ne. Everything da ne was fine until a wolf entered the scene da ne.'
The lights opened again and our little heroine was found gazing at some pretty flowers.
"These are pretty flowers, I wonder if grandma would like some of these." Kirihara said touched a flower.
"Your grandma, would love 'em." The voice came from a small guy, who chewed gum and had a blond wig.
"What is he doing there?!" Gakuto demanded from the person beside him, Choutarou. "That gum boy from Rikkai is ruining the show!!"
"I don't really know, Mukahi-san. From what they told me, Hansel and Gretel were supposed to be played later on."
"Akaya, if you give me that basket of sweets, I will let you meet with Santa!" He said with pride. "A tensai like me can contact Santa easily!"
"Really, Marui-sempai?" Kiriahara's eyes sparkled. "Here you go then!"
And Gretel took the basket from little Akaya riding hood.
"You guys, do something about this!" Oishi ordered.
'But then da ne, a bunch of super rookie tennis players attacked Gretel and gave the basket back to our heroine.'
Momoshiro, Yuuta, and Atsushi ran to the stage and grabbed Marui and took him away.
'Now the real wolf came and talked to our heroine da ne.'
"You are the wolf?!" Kirihara asked in a terrified tone as the wolf entered the scene.
"Tarundoru, little red riding hood." The nonchalant voice came from none other than the super masculine wolf, Sanada. "Are you going to pick flowers for your grandmother?"
Little Akaya riding hood snapped out of his fear and nodded. "Yes, I was thinking of doing that, fukubuchou."
"Wolf." Sanada corrected.
"Mr. Wolf."
"That's a great idea," Sanada said in a stiff voice. "In fact, I saw more beautiful flowers, like your grandma, over there."
Little Akaya riding hood turned to the direction where wolf fukubuchou was pointing.
"Thank you, fukubuchou wolf, I'll go there and pick some for gramma-buchou!" Kirihara happily exclaimed.
'Unknown to little red riding hood da ne, wolf had flipped the sign that directed to grandma's house. He then went straight to grandma's house and ate her all up. Then little red riding hood arrived and asked what she thought was her gramma da ne different questions da ne then the woodcutter arrived da ne and killed…'
"That wasn't even supposed to be said yet!" Gakuto whined again. Choutarou patted his head. "And he keeps on saying da ne at every sentence it's annoying!"
"Mukahi-san, please do calm down." Choutarou comforted the aggravated acrobatic player.
"That guy's being a spoiler." Saeki smiled as he watched the scene.
'… And the grandma da ne was..!'
The others covered his mouth before he could even utter another word. They've assigned a new narrator.
'Nya…Mata raishu! Now the wolf is heading towards grandma's house! But wait! What is he going to do there?! Nya, is he gonna eat her up? Or pretend to be her nya? What's he going to dooooooooo? And Fujiko's over there nya! Hi Fujiko!! Ooh ooh! I saw Hyotei's captain! And Frankenstein's with him again!'
The other's sweatdropped as they watched Kikumaru Eiji's hosting skills.
"He's even worse than the duck guy!" Gakuto grumbled. "And I'm much better than him in acrobatics!"
"That has nothing to do with this show, you idiot." Shishido rolled his eyes.
"At least I'm not holding a fake axe." Gakuto crossed his arms and ignored him.
"What'd you say, you circus freak?!" Shishido yelled at him.
And they went on…
Meanwhile, onto the real story, the wolf had already reached grandma Yukimura's hut.
"Genichirou," Grandma Yukimura said softly. "…Sorry for the trouble."
"Yukimura." Sanada muttered as the other one stood up from his bed.
"Good luck, Genichirou." He smiled warmly and gave him the clothes. Then he left the scene, repeating 'Sorry for the trouble' again and again.
It was heartwarming.
But…that wasn't really supposed to happen for the real grandma of the story would've fought the wolf first before getting eaten.
"They didn't follow the script." Saeki smiled as he continued watching from afar.
"Puri, oh true love." Niou, who was beside Saeki, sighed.
"That wasn't supposed to happen." Oshitari, who was now on backstage, said as he scanned the script.
'Nya! Now the little red riding hood opened the door to her gramma's hut and entered the house! Unya! The wolf had really pretended to be gramma! Oh no, little red riding hood! Don't fall for his evil tricks!'
"Gramma!! I'm here!" Kirihara shouted in an almost annoying voice. "And I brought you flowers!!"
"Tarundoru, Akaya." The wolf pretended to cough. Kirihara blinked a few times.
"Gramma! Are you sick?!" He shouted again in his oh so loud voice. "You really do look sick! You're so stiff and and rocky!"
"Yes, I am sick so please tone your voice down."
"Gramma, here's your basket!" Kirihara accidentally threw it straight onto his face.
"Ta…ta…tarundoru."
"Umm…uh.." Kirihara mumbled, he seemed to have forgotten his dialogue.
'Unya! Little red riding hood is getting suspicious of gramma! I hope that helped, Kirihara-kun!'
"Uh…"
"Akaya…when acting, always remember that it has to come from the heart…"
"Ahh!" Kirihara neared the fukubuchou and raised an eyebrow at him. "Ne, ne, grandma, why do you look like a rock?"
"Bwahaha! That was on the script?!" Niou laughed as he clutched his stomach.
"Here you go." Saeki smiled and handed the script to the trickster.
Niou scanned the note and laughed even more. Then he remembered Yukimura and Kirihara's conversation before the play started.
"I can't believe that he believed what buchou said! Looks like Akaya's going to take revenge on Sanada!"
"I look like a…ro-ock?" Sanada choked.
"Yeah! And why do you have such an ugly nose?!" Kirihara asked again then pointed at his own nose. "It has a line over here!"
"Uhh…the better to smell you with, Akaya."
"That doesn't even make any sense!" Niou laughed even more, and Saeki only giggled silently.
"Then, then...why do you always say tarundoru?" He asked again.
"The better to…hear you with, Akaya." Sanada answered hesitatingly.
"Say…what?" Gakuto spit what he drank, and turned to the seen. "What does tarundoru have to do with hearing?"
"Then, why do you wear an ugly hat?" Kirihara asked again.
Sanada was running out of what to say, with all this difficult questions little red riding hood was throwing him. He looked at the silent audience and found Yukimura seating on one of the chairs holding a small board. He narrowed his eyes and read what was written without any hesitations.
"The better to hide my bald head, Akaya."
Kirihara snorted. "Really fukubuchou?" He asked tauntingly.
"I'm going to tarundoru you, Akaya!" Sanada went into devil mode and rose from the bed.
"Stop!" The woodcutter barged in the house. "Stop this or I'll cut you with my axe!"
The woodcutter looked at the audience for a moment, and spotted who he was looking for. Choutarou was anxiously watching the scene beside an uncaring Gakuto.
Choutarou mouthed a small 'good luck' and gave him a thumb up.
"For my doubles partner, I shall cut you and your stupid blue hat, you lameass."
"Hey, you have a blue hat too." Kirihara pointed out. The woodcutter looked up.
"Do you want me to help you or not?"
"Yes, please!"
"I'm doing this for Choutarou!!"
And he cut him to pieces with his paper axe.
"Ore-sama shall save this show from further humiliation." Atobe suddenly went up the stage and all of the spotlights were focused on him.
"Ore-sama no bigi ni…yoi na."
Next up…Fujirella.