Hey world. Guess who's back? This is what I've been doing, well this and school. But fuck me, musica maestro.
Special thanks to KODfreak for the idea.
Disclaimer: I do not own The Boondocks.
Huey
Have you ever woke up, thinking that everything is going wrong. ..But…the thing is…I don't know what is going to go wrong…when will it start…can I overcome it…will I get hurt…will I cause others pain…will I ruin their life…will I destroy everything…will I hurt the ones I love…do I even have people I love… am I heartless…am I an animal, a ticking time bomb…waiting to blow…waiting for the right opportunity… I try to stall it…but what if it's inevitable… what if…for once…I'm wrong…and I let everyone down…I'll try…but is it enough…
What can I do, after everything I've been through?
Can I save you, can I save myself
How can I save others when I'm not even at half my health
I can use stealth, but is it worth it
Will I just make it worse, end up like norbit
Should I just forfeit, fuck it, I'll floor it
Try the best I can, even if I'll get fried in the pan
Oh look, seems like I have a fan
This ain't no jersey shore, now that I'm being watched you expect me to go get a way too extreme tan
I'm going to need a wish, but this is no peter pan
We ain't in nevereverland, we ain't got no magic sand
To get whatever we want given to us by hand
Everything is going wrong, why the hell you wearin a thong
Why am I singin this song, I got a feeling this is gonna be long
Well, at least that means we got time, so I think I'll continue rapping to this chime
Why am I being accused of a crime, I didn't cross the line
I thought I was doing just fine
The business I was minding was mine
Yet why, why am I being punished
What did I do, to make you punish me?
What did I do to thee, to make you want to make me flee?
Do you want me to make plea
Cause you've been bothering me like a goddamn flea
I know peace, comes at a fee
I know it don't come free, how much
Goddamn, three, that's a waste of a goddamn tree
Whatchu gonna do with it, some type of shopping spree
Not before I take you out, let me try a knee
Let me try and go all Bruce Lee
Forget it, I can't win
I guess I'll just go through with the sin
But this don't mean that I've been pinned
This is not fin.
I walk downstairs to see Riley and granddad eating breakfast. I walk to the table and begin to pour myself milk and cereal
"Hey boy." Says granddad. "What took you so long to get down here?"
"Yea Huey, watchu wuz doin up dere. If u were jerkin off u better not have gotten your shit all over my damn bed. Dats for me and Cindy" says Riley
"Boy shut yo damn mouth. You shouldn't even be thinkin bout that stuff. You only 13 years old." Granddad tells Riley.
"So. Yu jus mad cuz u ain't get none." Riley says chuckling
"That's it. Come here dammit" He says whipping out his belt. He chases Riley all over the kitchen and then move along towards the living room. I finish my breakfast and get my things as I'm off to school. I walk through the front door and as soon as I turn around from closing the door, I see someone three inches from my face.
"HI HUEY!" Jazmine yells in front of my face.
"GODDAMN JAZMINE. I'm right here. You don't have to yell. By the way, why are you so happy." I say as we begin to walk to school
"Why should I not be happy? Today's been a good day so far."
"How?" I question.
"Well, I had a good breakfast, I did all my homework, I got to hang out with you."
"Sorry. I was listening to my iPod. What was that last thing?" I ask.
"Nothing, so how did you sleep?" she asks.
"I'm not sure. I've had some premonitions of today that something was going to happen, but I'm not sure if I should believe them." I explain to her.
"Well, maybe you should lighten up and just be glad you still have friends and people who care about you."
You act like you get no love, actin like you're a lone dove
You're not alone, all this time, you've actually flown
Even though, its love what people have shown
The thread has been sown, you got me
Now you probably think that isn't much
But to me, that means a bunch
Like when you sit next to me during lunch
Yea, as such, or when I get to talk to you
I feel like a new, I feel like I was one of the lucky few
Like one of the people god picks to have a number two
Is it you, I didn't get to choose, but this really isn't surprising news
If you thought I'd lose, then you lost
Now I'm giving you the cold shoulder, it's like frost
That is quite a cost, ain't it?
So can you leave me faintin, or are you gonna leave me waitin?
"Sorry, iPod again. What did you say?" I ask.
"Whatever." She says. Weirdly enough, I never saw my iPod ever again after that day. We reach school and as soon as it is in visible distance, Caesar pops up right in front of me and Jazmine.
"AWWWWW. You guys look so cute together." He says.
"Shut the hell up Caesar. You know we aren't dating, and even if we were it wouldn't be that big of a deal." I say.
"Whatever you say man. Jazzy, keep walking. I gotta tell Huey something." He says to Jazz.
"Okay." She says as she continues walking.
"Yo. Have you noticed Jazzy's…you know" he says to me.
"Her what?" I ask not completely understanding.
"Her… you know…rear end…buttocks…booty…badonkadonk."
"What about it." I ask.
"Look at it man. It's perfect."
"How could you say that? She's our friend."
"Oh yea. Then why you hard" he says.
I look down and notice that my…you know, had been extended to its full nine inches. I quickly get a book from Caesar's book bag and cover it.
"Hahahaha."
"Shut up. I couldn't help it."
"yea yea…"
"…"
"… yo shit pretty big dude." Caesar says.
"You're gay."…I never thought I would say those words.
We finally reach Jazmine and we walk the rest of the way to school. Once we get there, I see the local racist getting ready for his daily black joke to us.
"Hey niggas and niggets. How are ya'll doin this fine white man day. You wanna hear a joke." Uncle Ruckus asks us.
"Sure. Just get it over with." Caesar says.
"Ok. What do say to a tv floating in the night?"
"What?"
"Drop it nigga!" he says laughing hysterically. He continues to laugh…and laugh…and laugh. He then clutches his chest and falls to the ground. As we walk away, I softly say
"Huh…I guess there is a god."
We walk in the school and see Cindy eating breakfast in the cafeteria.
"Wat up wat up Huey. Where your bro at." Cindy asks me.
"Getting beat by granddad. Why are you so interested in him anyways?" I ask her.
"Well… the truth is…
He means so much to me; you can say he makes me pee
K that was a bit too far in the sea, but I swear
He holds the key, but why am I the only one who can see
He doesn't know that he fills me with glee
Do you even know what that means, I'm not tryin to be a feen
There I go again, no I'm not being mean
Or trying to make a scene. I'm tryin to make this song clean
At least make it seem, like a side of me no one has seen
Your abilities, don't need, to be keen
To be, able to see, that I want him to be with me
I want to be with him, I've seen some raps talking about wantin one kid with me called tim
No he didn't write anything about some random girl called kim
This world is beginning to seem like the sims
It's being controlled by some kid
We better get our free will before he closes the lid
Is this just how life is, I just hope it's you that I get to kiss
That's at the top of my list; I don't want it to turn into a fight
Cause I will never make a fist, at least to you
I'll never get that pissed, unless you do some really stupid shit
Then you might just get hit.
"…Huey?" Cindy asks.
"He can't hear you. He's listening to his precious Eminem." Jazmine says to Cindy.
"Don't you find it kinda weird dat he like Slim so much, yet he's like da only white rapper in da game." Cindy asks.
"Cause he's the only mainstream rapper that doesn't rap about stupid shit like gangs, beef, pussy, money, or weed." I tell her taking off my beats earphones.
"Man, you know weezy would rip dat faggot ass bubble gum white trash piece of shit." Cindy says to me.
"Um, last time I checked, you're white too idiot." I say to her.
"THAT'S IT." She says lunging forward. Just as she's about a foot away from me, the first period bell rings.
"We'll finish this at the end of last period" she says as she walks away to her first class. Me, Jazmine, and Caesar stay in the cafeteria for study hall, which no one ever studies in. We take our seats which are me and Jazz sitting at the corner and Caesar sitting on the other side of the café rapping with his crew.
Riley
I run to school trying to get to first period on time. I see the school in sight and I see Cindy walking towards her and my first class. I run towards her and I notice at that moment how fat Cindy's ass wuz. I know it's wrong to think that cuz she mah friend and all, but that shit wuz looked like a basketball with a damn sharpie line in the middle of it. I snap out of my trance as I notice mah hand in pants. I quickly take it out and run over to Cindy.
"What up Cindy." I say to her. Over time, she got more girly and, just noticing today, got a banging body.
"Hey Riley. Where were you at?" she asks.
"Granddad. It's a long story. So what happened when I wuzn't here." I ask her.
"Yea. I kinda got a favor to ask you?"
Huey
"You want me to what!"
"I just want you to fight Cindy for me. It's not that big of a deal." I tell her.
"Not that big of a deal? Me and her have been friends ever since we were ten. This would completely ruin our relationship." She explains to me.
"Come on Jazmine. It'll blow over as life goes on. I'll train you and at the end of the day you'll be able to beat her without a problem." I tell her.
"Well… How can you train me? We have classes all day." She says. She can be so damn stubborn sometimes.
"I can reschedule the fight, and me and you are the top students in the school. We can miss a couple of days. You have to fight her. I can't, that's considered rape." I say to her.
"ugh…fine. But on one condition." She say coming closer to me.
"What?" I ask with her inches from my face.
"Give me fifty dollars." She says ruining the moment. Wait. Why am I calling this a moment. I just lost fifty dollars. Whatever, it's probably nothing.
I hand her the fifty dollars and from there we run off to my house. I slowly open the door making sure no one is home. I really don't want to be caught alone with Jazmine, being all sweaty, grappling eachother, touching. Wait, what the hell is happening with me? Why am I thinking these damn dirty thoughts about Jazmine, and why am I hard?
"Are you gonna let me in or not?" she says interrupting my thoughts.
"Oh. Yeah, I'll see you downstairs in a sec. Just let me get my stuff ready."
"Okay." She replies.
I walk over to my room to go get my training gear. I get my Shotokan karate gi and grab some UFC gloves for me and her. As I change into my gear, I couldn't help but wonder what is happening to me.
What's goin on, why am I showin off?
Why am I thinking of me and her layin down alone on my front lawn
It feels like I'm being controlled, like I'm just some mindless pawn
I don't know why she's turnin me on. Why am I thinking like this?
Why am I dreaming of seeing me and her kiss
Is this not real, is this just a miss
Is she only his, who am I talking about
I'm supposed to be training her for a championship bout
But will she get hurt, and then she'll blame it on me and make me pout
Will she just scream at me and say "Just get the fuck out"
Ouch, okay, you didn't have to shout
I heard clear and loud, I heard every single sound
But you're not done yet, it's just the end of the first round
Trust me; you're way better pound for pound
You can win, and then we can get it in
Wait, what am I thinkin, why am I thinkin about you and getting ready to sin
I gotta stop, before I get arrested by the cops
But we're both minors, I'm not an old timer
Why am I making a plan, actin like I'm part of the klan
Okay, let's get to the fight, before my hormones reach an unthinkable height.
Before I lose all control, and start to act like I don't even have a soul
I walk down to my personal gym and we begin getting ready for our training.
Riley
"So you think you can't beat Huey so you want me to try and beat him up for you." I say to her.
"Yea, pretty much." She tells me.
"Ok. I'll do it. But on one condition."
"What?" she asks.
"You gotta beat me in a freestyle."
"Iight Reezy. Just like old days?" she asks.
"Yup, as long as we want, any topic that I come up with, you gotta follow it. Ready?" I ask.
"Sure"
"Iight, I'll go first."
For you, imma write the sickest rhyme of mah life
It'll get rid of all the thoughts I've ever had about cutting myself with a knife
It'll make me wanna continue to blow up this mic
Or maybe I'll stop and pass it on, sike
Cause as long as I got my nikes
And I got a face book and I keep getting liked
Then I'll always rap like mike
Make all other competitors take a hike
I'm a big fish and the rest are just pikes
Enough about me, this is my rap to you
Imma go on a hunger strike
Or maybe go on a marathon on my mountain bike
It's been really sad since you died
Since then, all I did was hide
But now I have nothing to confide
Even when you're dead, I know you're always by my side
"Nice" she says.
"Thanks. Oh, and here's a little twist. I get to pick what you gotta rap about." I tell her
"Ugh, fine what is it?" she asks.
I pull out a piece of paper out of my back pocket and begin to read it out loud.
"You gotta pretend you a guy that was fake and came back. Also it gotta be to the girl that was dating him when he was fake and then she found out and left his ass. Now he wants her back and you gotta do it."
"Ok' that's gonna be really hard. Hella out of character, but I'll try.
What do I have, all I got is rap
It's the only thing that gets me dap
But still some hate, it's like ya'll have been pulled by fate
Just to ruin me at haste,
Some are even still talkin about when I copied and paste
That was nuthin, and even this is just a little taste
Thinking that I have been defaced
That's a good thing, now I have more shit to spit
Imma take a stand, I will no longer sit
My fire has finally been lit, I will no longer try and fit
In, who gives, a fuck if I'm not that thin
Yet people call me young slim
You will no longer control my life
I'm not a goddamn sim, but I won't beat you up
I'm not em, and you're not kim
Good, cause all I need is him
Just kiddin, I said some messed up stuff here
A couple were directed to my peers
But now I've conquered my fears, now I can destroy your ears
And maybe be so sweet, it'll make you come to tears
I hope I receive at least a couple of cheers
I was so near, I was so close
To rock your ears like bose
Make everyone stand on their toes
I hope I don't make any foes
Or is it too late, I haven't been involved with any hoes
I ain't lyin, I'm Pinocchio, look at my nose
It didn't grow, then why am I laying low
Why am I still hiding from the po-po
I know I did a no-no, it was a low blow
Did I repeat, don't matter
I'm still on my feet, I just conquered a feat
Isn't that just neat, if you don't think so
Then just press delete, and take a seat
But if you want me back, then stand when you wanna
You said no more drama; well this isn't any pina colada
I can't really blame you, for all the things I do
I admit, I hope you knew
I wasn't lying when I said I love you
Even now that I'm new
It doesn't change that fact, too bad the odds are stacked
Against my favor, cause it's you that I savor
Okay, I went a bit too extreme
But we could still be a team, or am I just living in a dream
"So, what do you think?" she asks me.
"…That wuz da dopest shit mah ears have eva fuckin heard. Dat shit wuz fuckin amazin. I swear to god I almost shit mahself. Oh shit, you fuckin win. Come on, let's go the gym. I gotta train."
Jazmine
"Okay! What exercise should we do first?" I ask Huey.
"Well, before we do any serious exercise, we gotta stretch first. Do you no how to stretch?" He asks.
"Do you really think I'm that dumb? I was on the cheerleading team for an entire year," I told him.
"Yeah I remember. At the last game this girl accidentally tripped on you and you wanted me to shank her," he tells me.
"… Shut up,"
We begin to stretch. I do a simple front stretch to begin. I notice a noise coming from behind me. I spin around to see the bathroom door shut quickly. I walk to it and cup my ear to the door to listen closer.
"Shit,shit,shit…awww shit…it's everywhere," Huey whispers from behind the door.
"Huh, I guess he couldn't hold in his pee,"
Cindy
Me and reezy go to the gym so he can train to beat Huey's ass. We go in and I go to the treadmill and walk while he hits the weights. As I walk, I look over at Reezy and I start to feel weird inside. I quickly stop the machine and walk over to the bathroom to try and relieve myself. I look at myself in the mirror and I start rappin.
What's happenin to me, why is he the only thing I see
I go to the bathroom actin like I gotta pee
I look in the mirror and I see him, I gotta be set free
How many times have I felt this? About three
Maybe life is a road and love is a toll booth fee
Or maybe, you want coffee, but love gives you tea
You drink but you wanted something else
They got the order wrong, but you still wearin a thong
Let me rephrase that, you wanna sing a song
But you think the tea might've been spoiled, like it's been left out for too long
Or when you're drunk and you wanna play beer pong
You know it's wrong cause you feel like Cheech and Chong
Enough of that, when I see you, you make me wanna lower my reds hat
You make me shy, almost to the point that I wanna cry
Make me feel stupid like fry, oh my
Look what you do to me, you're my drug and I'm always high
You make me wanna touch the sky, but with you by side
This isn't a lie; I hope I get a reply, so we can finally fly
We should be Bonnie and Clyde, but lets be open
Never hide, act like we got one mind
One of us can't hear and the other one is blind
Yet it's always love we find
Was gonna make it a one shot but changed my mind. Stay tuned.