Oh boy. This is what you were ready for, eh? Warning, swearing (duh) and confusing gender stuff I guess.

Chapter 1: Mulan

Mulan lets out a sigh in relief. She finally did it. She saved fucking China. Mulan walked back to her home with her parents and grandmother. After the whole ordeal with dressing up like a guy, she's been having second thoughts about what gender she is.

She asked her grandmother. "Grandmother, I have a question..."

Her grandma chuckled. She was always there for her granddaughter. "Of course Mulan. What is it that you need?"

"I've been dressing like a dude for months, and I'm starting to feel like... Like I have a boner. Something between my thighs other than Shang." Mulan says.

Her grandmother closes her eyes, lost in thought. Mulan thought her grandma wouldn't judge and have a rational answer to her problems—

"Sorry kid, you're fucking mental." The old lady laughs and walked away.

...Or not.

"Well screw you too Granny!" Mulan yelled as she gave the finger. She sighs, not knowing what to do with herself.

She was lost. No one to turn to, Mulan accepted that she was in fact a he. She believes that she's a guy in her soul. So she lost control. Mulan literally put the man in manic. Before she left, Mulan tied her hair back and put on the old armor that was used in the war she fought. She trudged into the market in her local area. A group of guys were standing and whispering about Mulan. They thought she was a guy.

"I've never seen a guy so hot!" One of the soldiers said.

"What are you, fucking gay?" The other one says.

Mulan couldn't believe it. Those soldiers actually thought she looked like a guy!

Damn, she thought. I think it's time to reinvent the new me!

"Every time he speaks, he makes me want to SING~!" Another soldier with a mustache swoons.

The other soldiers looked at him. "Taking it too far man."

Everyone was confused. Mulan, the girl who saved China, is passed off as a guy. A hot guy no less. Even the poor guy in the corner was surprised. Or maybe he's high. Mulan took this opportunity. She told all of the soldiers to come with her to help with her "problems."

"We have to do this in secret, since y'know, I'm cheating on Shang." Mulan whispered as he guided them to an alleyway.

Just then, one small soldier tripped over a jar and knocked it over, causing a huge crash. Another jabbed him in the stomach. "You god damn idiot! Be quiet or we'll get caught!" Smol soldier quickly apologized.

"Alright everybody, get ready for an orgy." Mulan smirked.

I skipped all the juicy details just for you. Anyway, after that whole... Ordeal, Mulan waved goodbye to the group of soldiers. He didn't even learn any of their names. He was a hoe. Or a man-hoe.

"Maybe someday he'll screw me." The mustached man sighs.

The rest of the group groaned. "Shut the fuck up." They said.

It seems this story is reaching the end, a happy end I guess. Mulan was happy to know that he is a man-hoe and just had a dang orgy. Then Mulan just had a sudden realization.

"Oh, that's why my name is Ping!" He laughed.

Sorry if I confused you when I switched Mulan to a he at the end there. Also not trying to bash on people that identify as a different gender or anyone gay, this is for entertainment :3

More chapters will come... Later.