This is a collective series of oneshots, basically thirty or forty something year old Hermione's rememberings of Malfoy, going off of the song "head, shoulders, knees, and toes..." etc. It will be eight parts I believe…(head, shoulders, knees, toes, eyes, ears, mouth, nose). YES. Eight. Not totally AU, because it ends up the same place JKR's series did. Speaking of which, you might have heard of it…she owns everything.
I will do my best with updates, but I'm pretty busy at the moment, and have what seems like a couple bazillion WIPs…so we will see.
Head
She could remember the crown of white-blonde hair that sat atop his head.
It was different from hair, because it was so much like a crown. And he wore it like one, like everyone else at the school served him.
When he acted like that it made it so much easier to pretend. Along with the sneer, and condescending insults…well is almost came naturally. Hating him.
Almost.
"Come on, Granger." They were hiding out in a broom closest. He had said Filch was on the other side of the school, cleaning up after Peeves. Two birds with one stone, he had said. "It wasn't real."
"They're my best friends. Do you think I like it when you're awful to them?"
"Weasley's been acting like a little girl, getting his knickers knotted over a mouse named Scab? Anyway, you're not really lovely to my mates either."
"Crabbe and Goyle? I don't even know how one begins to be "lovely" to Crabbe and Goyle."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
She gave him a blank look. "They're idiots, Malfoy. They are really, really, bloody stupid."
"Yeah, well same."
"Oh, please…"
"Well, you slapped me!" He sounded a bit outraged, and rubbed his jaw.
"You had it coming. You were a little too believable."
"I guess I go a little overboard when you're in trouble, Granger." He smirked again, and moved closer.
And she hated how she could feel her glare beginning to melt. Her resistance giving way.
"Are those lines really supposed to work?"
He moved, so his head was hovering in front of her, his hair tickling her eyes. "You tell me."
"They don't. They've no affect on me at all."
"Really?"
"Yes." Her voice was clipped.
"That's too bad. Pansy loves it."
"Oh, shut up, you are such an arsehole I don't know why I even bother—"
And then he was kissing her. And she couldn't even protest, she let him back her against the wall, and slide his hands up her robes. She tipped her head back, drinking more of him in.
This part of Malfoy, she can still remember.