Since the next chapter of Second Choice, Second Chances is taking much longer than expected, I thought I'd try to ease the waiting a bit by posting an older fanfic of mine. (Don't worry, it's short; I don't plan on taking that long to finish the next chapter!)
Some notes:
The plot for this was taken from an option in the ToB Kelsey romance mod that allows the PC to sleep with Anomen if she wishes, even though she is in a relationship with Kelsey. This struck me as odd, since you are given no reason to believe that she is unhappy with Kelsey, and most players wouldn't consider their PC to be 'that kind of girl'—I know I don't! So I decided to 'fill in the blanks' and write a rationale for the PC's actions that makes them, if not sympathetic, at least understandable.
Note that part of the dialogue is taken directly from the Kelsey mod, so if some of it doesn't sound like my usual work, that is probably why.
Lastly, this was my very first published BG fanfic, so I'll be interested in hearing how my style has evolved—or devolved, as the case may be—since then!
Don't choose me because I am faithful.
Don't choose me because I am kind.
If your heart settles on me, I'm for the taking.
Take me for longing or leave me behind.
I would be, for you, a fire in a rainbow,
I would be, for you, an opening door.
Time and hard lessons are one kind of wisdom.
Try to forget them or love me no more.
I'm not asking your heart to believe me.
I'm not asking for promise or pledge.
Whatever the answer, it's yes that's the question.
I am the fool dancing over the edge.
Don't choose me because I am faithful.
Don't choose me because I am kind.
If your heart settles on me, I'm for the taking.
Take me for longing or leave me behind.
The bard's clear voice rang through the crowded common room of the Tankard Tree, only occasionally drowned out by the thud of the catapults from Yaga Shura's besieging army. No doubt he, like most others in the room, was a traveler trapped in Saradush by the siege, and had made an arrangement with the innkeeper to trade his skills for meals and a bed. Cassandra smiled to herself. Even in wartime you have to earn your keep.
The mood at Cassandra's table was festive despite the army camped outside the walls of the city. Earlier that day Cassandra and her group had defeated the mad Bhaalspawn half-orc, Gromnir Il Khan, ending his stranglehold on the city. Now that they could leave Saradush, they hoped to break the siege from outside.
But that was tomorrow's task. Although it was really her decision, Cassandra had let the group vote on whether to return to her Abyssal pocket plane tonight, or spend the night at the inn in Saradush. As she expected, the vote was unanimous. The pocket plane was safe and convenient, but so dismal and comfortless that everyone preferred to risk the catapults rather than give up the chance to sleep in a real bed for another night.
Red-haired Kelsey Coltrane, the group's sorcerer and her lover, was sitting by her side. He was in a buoyant mood; he had spoken with his brother Kelvim earlier in the day and reported that Kelvim was mending and would soon be well enough to travel. At the moment, however, Kelsey was deep into a conversation on mage-lore with her sister Imoen, and Cassandra found her mind wandering.
It wandered, as it had far too often of late, toward the other end of the table where the darkly handsome Priest of Helm, Anomen Delryn sat. He was flirting with one of the barmaids, and quite successfully, it seemed. Hardly surprising, she knew; with his good looks and cultured manners he was an attractive alternative to the merchants and occasional scruffy adventurer that usually came through the tavern. Still, Cassandra felt irrational irritation at the girl who had caught his attention.
The barmaid giggled and sauntered back to the bar for another round. Before Cassandra could pretend interest in something—anything—else, Anomen turned and caught her watching him. She cursed her carelessness and looked away, reddening. Thank the gods Kelsey wasn't paying attention! she thought, as her heartbeat slowed to something close to its normal rate. She chanced another look at Anomen, and found him leaning back in his chair, still watching her. The expression in his dark eyes surprised her; rather than the knowing smirk she had expected, he looked…appraising…as if she were a puzzle he was determined to solve.
"Cassandra, honey," Kelsey began, jolting her out of her reverie. "Immy and I are going to go over to the Archana Archives for a while. He's got quite a collection of rare scrolls and I don't know when we'll get the chance to stock up again. Do you want to come with us? It could be a couple of hours…his organization is pretty bad so it takes a while to find what you want."
"Spending hours searching through a bunch of dusty scrolls or claiming the best spot in that big bed upstairs, hmmm, what a tough choice!" Cassandra smiled. "It's been a long day, and I hope you don't mind if I pass on the scrolls and get some sleep."
"I thought you'd say that. Sleep well, dear." Kelsey gave her a quick kiss and started toward the door. There was a near miss from one of the catapults, close enough for the impact of the fireball to rattle the tankards on the table.
"Hey, you two," Cassandra said, "take some precautions when you're out in the street."
"Will do," Kelsey replied, and a silver shimmer encased both their bodies. Kelsey smiled and said, "That's my Cass, always watching out for me." He and Imoen headed out into the night.
She wondered, not for the first time, whether it would have been wiser to leave Saradush immediately. Cassandra had considered insisting that they return to the pocket plane, but knew that Kelsey wanted to spend what time he could with his brother. It was still going to be very hard for Kelsey to leave Kelvim and his lady, Mirena, behind in the besieged city when Cassandra's party departed in the morning.
She said her goodnights to the rest of the party, carefully avoiding Anomen's eyes, and made her way to the stairs that led to the room she and Kelsey shared. She was just starting down the hall to her room when she realized she was not alone; Anomen had followed her. Gods, for such a big man he could move quietly when he wanted to!
"My lady, could I have a word with you, in private?" His face belied his casual tone of voice; it held the same questioning—almost challenging—look she had seen earlier. He did not touch her, nor even approach more closely than appropriate for two people who had been close companions for several months, but still, his nearness made her heart race.
"Anomen, I'm tired. We can talk tomorrow." She considered making a cowardly dash for her room, but found he had maneuvered himself so she would have to pass him closely in the hall to do so.
"This cannot wait, and I suspect you know well why not." He replied, his eyes never leaving her face.
The sensible, responsible part of her brain clenched in panic and frantically began searching for a way to prove him wrong. Meanwhile, the part of her heart that thrilled to his nearness sang with joy.
"I have noticed you staring quite intently at me as of late, Cassandra, and if it was because of a spot on my armor I am sure you would have said so by now. We are adults, I owe nothing to anyone, and you can speak plainly to me if there is something you wish."
He still did not touch her, but he stepped nearer, near enough that she thought she could feel the heat of his body through his tunic. He was wearing his favorite tunic, the one he wore on special occasions. It was fine linen and decorated with embroidery, and she suspected he knew only too well how well it set off the muscles of his chest. She wanted to touch him, follow the lines of embroidery on his tunic, and caress his face.
She looked away, hoping it would help her find a way to deny what she was feeling. It was not enough.
Instead, Cassandra heard herself saying "And I suspect you know what I wish." She still could not meet his eyes, but she heard his quick intake of breath.
Finally, he touched her, gently pulling her chin up so her eyes met his. For the first time, he smiled. "Aye, my lady, I have suspicions—even hopes—of what you may wish of me. But this is one time when that is not enough. Even if my suspicions are correct, you must speak plainly; there can be no doubt that this is your choice."
She knew then that he was offering her a way out; if she wished, she could still deny her heart, send him away, and go back to the life she had built with Kelsey. And that was plainly what she should do; but the thought that she would never know Anomen's touch was like a blade in her heart. More than anything in her life, she wanted this. She wanted him.
Cassandra looked up at Anomen and momentarily lost herself in his dark eyes. Finally, she found the words she needed. "You. I want you," she whispered.
His smile broadened. "Ahhh, how refreshing, a woman who does not fear to be direct! In this, as in all things, your wish is my command." He ran his fingers through her hair, gently cradling the back of her head, and at the same time slipping his other arm around her waist and pulling her close. Their lips and bodies met. She opened her mouth to receive his kisses, which she returned with equal urgency. The press of his body against hers inflamed her, body and soul, until she felt she would surely melt away in his arms. One of his hands found its way under her blouse and was caressing her skin with a gentleness that made her knees weak. He spoke again, his voice rough with desire. "My lady, my Cassandra, how I have longed for this, dreamed of the day I could kiss you and hold you in my arms…"
They were interrupted by a step on the stairs, and sprang apart, both breathing heavily. Fortunately, the man was a stranger, and Cassandra breathed a sigh of relief. Considering their flushed faces and disordered clothes, Cassandra was sure that no one would believe that they had just been having a friendly conversation. The man passed them with a knowing look. When he was out of sight, Anomen caught her hand and smiled. "My lady, I think it would be wise if we were to continue this discussion someplace more private." He kissed her hand tenderly. "Your beauty would grace the most splendid accommodations in all of Faerun, and it sorrows me that I cannot offer such to you. However, my room is nearby and we will not be interrupted there."
Cassandra was touched by his concern for her comfort, but couldn't help but think about the large and comfortable room that waited for her down the hall, and the bed she shared with Kelsey. It was one thing to say she wanted Anomen, but quite another to take that first, irrevocable step away from her old life and toward something new and much more uncertain. Worse, if she went with Anomen, there was no way she could defend her actions as anything other than a betrayal of the man who had been her faithful lover and loyal friend for many months.
Anomen, concerned that she had not responded to his invitation, touched her cheek. "Cassandra?"
She glanced up at him and saw in his face a look of such tenderness that her breath caught in throat. It was gone in an instant, but with it her fears and reservations also disappeared, replaced by a fierce joy the like of which she had never felt before. She squeezed his hand. "Anomen, your room will be fine. All we really need is some privacy" She smiled and in low voice, added, "Though a bed would be nice, too."
Anomen stilled, and seemed to stop breathing entirely for a few seconds. Then he chuckled and held her close, whispering intently, "My lady, let us go before I commit an impropriety that would scandalize all of Saradush."
His room was not far, just upstairs and down a short hall from where they where they had been standing. By unspoken agreement nothing else was said until they were in his room with the door bolted behind them. Despite her earlier eagerness, Cassandra suddenly felt shy and unsure in his presence. Anomen seemed to sense her nervousness, and at first simply held her and gently kissed her face and neck. Soon, their kisses again became urgent and Cassandra found herself eagerly pressing her body to his, which further fuelled their desire.
Finally, he spoke. "My lady, it thrills me more than I express that you desire my touch as much as I have long yearned for yours. I had almost given up hope that such a thing would come to pass. But again, I feel I must ask, is this what you want? To lie with me this night? And what of Kelsey? Is he not still your lover?"
"Kelsey and I are no longer together." Cassandra told him. It was a lie, and one he must surely see through, she thought. But Anomen did not question her further. "Yes, Anomen, this is what I want; to kiss you and touch you, to lie in your arms so that you may show your love for me. We both have waited long enough." That, at least, was the truth.
"We have indeed, my lady." He grinned. "I suppose there is nothing for it but to be helped out of this tunic, if you please."
His mood was infectious. "As you wish, my lord!" Shyness forgotten, she helped him ease the tunic over his head, her hands eager to show their appreciation for his toned and muscular body.
His voice grew husky. "Now, my beauty, I believe it is my turn." With what seemed to Cassandra to be agonizing slowness, he carefully loosened the ties to her bodice. He sensed her impatience and smiled. "Cassandra, please forgive me if I savor this moment. If you only knew how many times I have dreamed of touching you in this way." He drew her bodice over her head, and it dropped to the floor, forgotten. His hands, strong and rough from many hours of weapons drill, lingered briefly on her ribs before moving to the ties of her skirt. Much more quickly this time, he untied her skirt and pushed it down until it hung loosely around her hips. He paused, which elicited a moan of frustrated anticipation from Cassandra. Anomen chuckled and whispered "Yes, my lady?" before sliding his hands down the back of her skirt, caressing her behind as his lips sought hers for a lingering kiss. With one swift movement, he pulled her skirt and underclothes down around her ankles; one hand then traveling caressingly across her hip and chest until it briefly cupped her breast.
Anomen released her, gallantly holding her hand so she could step out of her discarded clothing. He did not embrace her again, but instead held her at arm's length to better appreciate her now unclothed body. He stared at her avidly. "By Helm, I would scarce believe it possible, but you are even more beautiful and desirable than I dreamed you would be."
She put her arms around his neck and kissed him lightly. "Anomen Delryn, there is a naked and willing woman standing before you, surely you can find a better use for your time than just looking!"
Anomen laughed. "Indeed I can." To Cassandra's surprise, Anomen did not return her kiss, but bent down, picked her up, and laid her gently on the waiting bed. "Now, my lady, it is high time I learned what Sword Coast girls know about love."
A short time later, someone approached Anomen's door. The lovers, lost in their own world, did not hear the footsteps, nor did they hear them pause and depart a few moments later, more swiftly than they had arrived.