Hokay... basically Ryan is fed up with Kelly and wants out. only problem is he doesn't know how...
Pairings: Well... sort of RyanJimness but not yet...
Disclaimer:I dont own The Office or any of it's characters... dont sue... blah blah blah.. hell and mayhem...
Not really sure how people feel about this pairing. i just wanted to see some variation in the office pairings... my apologies if you sense negative Kelly vibes... don't know how else to do it...
"Like oh my god I so can't believe she did that! What the heck was she thinking, he's such a sleazebag! I actually cannot believe she did it! I mean, can you?" Kelly turns expectantly to her boyfriend, waiting for a reply. Ryan stares dumbly, hoping to god that something distracts her before she finally realises that he hadn't been listening to her at all. Luckily for him, Michael comes out of his office and saves him, sort of. "Kelly-Welly-Jelly-Belly-Smelly-Felly-" "Felly isn't a word" Angela interjects coldly. Michael smiles awkwardly and indicates for Kelly to enter his office. She sighs and turns back to Ryan, clinging onto his hand and staring at him. "You… You better go, Michael's started a drum roll." Kelly pouts before leaning up to kiss her boyfriend, who smiles falsely, and then turns and walks through into Michael's office. Satisfied he had made everyone smile for that moment, he finishes the drum roll and steps in after Kelly and shuts the door behind him. Ryan lets out a big sigh of relief and slumps back in his chair. Currently he was staying in Kelly's corner of the office as way of punishment for lacking confidence in Dunder Mifflin.
Rubbing his temples, Ryan glances up and sees Jim sitting at Pam's desk, wearing what appeared to be the outfit she wore into work this morning. Looking at Jims desk he sees Pam wearing Jim's suit. More out of boredom than confusion, the ex-temp decides to go over to 'Pam' and ask 'her' what was going on. Upon reaching the receptionist's desk, Ryan opens his mouth to ask but is shushed by a very concentrated looking Jim. Upon closer inspection Ryan sees that Jim has even gone so far as to wear the make-up Pam put on today.
In slight interest Ryan turns to see what Jim has been staring at and sees Dwight striding in from the bathroom. He then sits down and looks briefly at his computer before glancing briefly up at 'Jim'. The real Jim picks up the phone and dials the number at his real desk. Pam picks up and says, "Dunder Mifflin this is Jim Halper speaking how may I- Oh hi Pam, hows it going?" she asks in her regular voice. With wide eyes Dwight inquires, "Pam, what are you doing?" 'Pam' looks up and calls over, "I'm sitting at my desk. Why, what's the matter?" Ryan can sense that Jim is trying to suppress his laughter. "Jim, why are you sitting at Pam's desk? I order you two to sit in your places at once." Dwight says, puffing up his chest and folding his arms across it. looking back and forth between the hidden smiles of Pam and Jim, Ryan can't see anything funny with the whole affair. Keeping a surprisingly stoic expression, 'Jim' says, "But we are sitting in our correct places. Did Pam put some of her make up on me or something when I was sleeping? Do I really look that much like her?" Very slowly but surely, Dwight's mouth began to open bigger and bigger, his eyes darting between the two. In a flash he has dived into his desk drawer and taken out a large mirror. Why the hell does Dwight have a mirror in his desk anyway? Ryan thinks incredulously. He thrusts it in the real Jim's face and he gasps, before dramatically fainting. Clearly showing no concern over 'Pam', Dwight yells, "I need to find this witchdoctor!" he then speeds out of the office, the door swinging loosely on its hinges after a failure at shutting it.
Real Jim sits up off the floor and lets a snort of laughter escape from him. Pam and Jim stand and bow to one another before walking off together towards the bathroom to get changed. Shaking his head Ryan returns to his desk to think. Up until now his relationship with Kelly had been pretty… well… not terrible. But now she had become clingy and insisted that they meet up every night for a drink or to go out to see a film or something. Ryan wasn't sure how long he could stand it for. He needed to get out of this relationship without giving anyone reason to hate him. Not that he cared at all for the rest of the office really, but he would prefer as few enemies as possible. He then spent the next half an hour alone in blissful silence to think of how to end the relationship without hurting anyone, this time during which Jim and Pam were 'returned' to their own bodies. Dwight is still not in sight.
Just as Michaels door opens something clicks in Ryan's mind. Back in high school this method always ensured you got out of a bad relationship without trouble or question. Lost in his thoughts, Ryan doesn't notice Kelly until she was right next to him. "Whatcha doing-"
"Kelly, I'm gay." Looooong pause of awkwardness. Kelly simply stares at Ryan, her smile frozen on her face. A little bit of tact would have helped just then, Ryan thinks staring up at the ceiling, imagining god; sitting in the clouds, laughing his ass off at him. The smile on Kelly's face switched to one of hurt and confusion. "What?" she asks, frowning. "I'm sorry, I never wanted it to end like this; but I cant keep fooling myself that I am ever going to feel about you the same way I feel about guys. I'm sorry." In silent prayer he watches Kelly sit in her chair. Never once taking her eyes off him. After about a minute or so Kelly declares, "I don't believe you. You're not gay, I know that."
"Oscar's gay, but you didn't know that until he told you." Ryan reasons.
"I still wont believe you, not until I've seen some proof." The dark skinned woman then stands abruptly and walks over to the door, picking up her coat on the way. "Where are you going?" the ex-temp asks. "Home." she says as if it is the most obvious thing in the world. Which it was, as it was already time to go home. Realising the lack of work he had got done today, he decides to stay behind an hour or so to do some work, which is something he doesn't normally do. Watching each member of the office leave, including Michael, who left without any drama today, Ryan tries to complete some confusing sheets with a lot of numbers on but cant stop thinking about how to prove he was gay to Kelly. If he gave her no proof, she would know he made it up, and then she would know he wanted to break up with her, and so she would be angry and upset and would never shut up about it. Groaning in resignation about his work and his 'gay' problem Ryan lets his head drop with a loud clunk, onto his desktop.
Unknown to him, Jim has also been working late and has just returned from the rec room with a packet of crisps. Realising his only chance, the ex-temp springs from his desk and runs over to Jim, who is looking at him with a surprised expression. "Jim, please, I need your help. I wouldn't ask but… but… okay I don't know why but anyway, I need you!"
"Okay, what's the matter?" Jim asks, looking slightly concerned. The day that Ryan was begging for help was the day he would stop pulling pranks on Dwight. Okay, maybe not then. "Well I wanted to break up with Kelly because she is completely driving me nuts and I don't want her as an enemy or anything so I just told her that I was gay but now she doesn't believe me and if she realises that I'm not gay then she will loath me for all eternity and so I need to prove to her that I'm gay." Ryan takes a breath and looks at Jim, his eyes filled with hope.
"Wow. So now you're gay? Why don't you tell Kelly that you're dating Oscar?" Jim suggests, smirking slightly.
Ryan looks as if he'd just had a 'gay friendly' hug from Michael. "And you're suggesting that why?" he asks. Jim shrugs his shoulders and goes to sit at his desk. The ex-temp follows and climbs onto Dwight's desk before getting comfortable, facing Jim. "Why did you even say you were gay?!" Jim asks, a smile never far from his lips. Ryan shrugs, sighing. "I really don't know. I just cant stand her any more." A few minutes of silence pass and suddenly Jim's eyes light up and he grins at his co-worker, who looks rather frightened. "What? Have you thought of something?" Ryan asks, leaning in closer.
"I'm not sure how you're going to react to this, but it will definitely work. Kelly will finally be off your case, but we would have to practice a bit to get it right."
"What is it?" Ryan asks eagerly.
"Well…"
Okay, letmeknowwhatyouthink. Apologies for the shortness. I should do the other chapter (Or chapters depending how you guys feel about it) but I don't think I should if you read this and think "What a load of crapola." Comments and creative criticism would be much appreciated so if you can be bothered... yeah... thank-you for reading... love to you.