Lately, music has been inspiring me so much with certain characters...my muse wants to feel the pain in the characters. This One-Shot is about Serverus Snape. Inspired by Robot Boy - linkin Park. ( I suggest playing the song on repeat really low while you read )
Disclamer: Not mine *pout*
Robot Boy
You say you're not gonna fight 'cause no one will fight for you
He stared at the refection in the mirror. Black hallow eyes glared back. Hands gripped tighter, knuckles white, if he had the strength the sink would be broken. Shatter in a million pieces, like his life. Tremors filled his body, shaking every nerve he owned. Sighing, he turned the water on and submerged his hands washing off blood from the nights raid. Water splashed over his face, cooling the ache for only a second.
Pain still lingered on his skin, like a thousand needles. The curse. Over the years he had grown used to it, but in his old age it began to devastate his body. Mindlessly he reached into the cabinet next to the sink. A pop filled the room then he downed a potion. A potion he created that slowly killed off your pain nerves. A few more doses and he would be free of pain forever.
With what strength he had left, he collapsed on his bed. The night was over, his acting was done, and the nightmares began. And tomorrow, Dumbledore would ask questions and ignore the suffering of others.
~~~~~~~~~
And you think there's not enough love and no one to give it to
His green, no emerald eyes, haunted him daily. Mocking him in classes, hallways, everywhere! Lily's eyes...they cursed him. Once, he would fall into those eyes and they would be filled with love. Promises of true friendship and trust. Now, they were fill of hatred and fear from her son.
"Mr. Potter, ten points from Gryffindor!" He barked passing the students potion. Harry Potter glared up at him. Snape sneered back. Inside he was crying. I am so sorry Harry..Lily..
~~~~~~~~
And you're sure you've hurt for so long you've got nothing left to lose
The burning always hurt, even with the nerves slowly dying. He was convinced that the Dark Lord, used your mind against you rather then physical pain. The Mark was red, hot and angry. The Dark Lord was mad. Snape made haste.
Arriving he was promptly put under The Curse, agonizing pain filled his veins. Burning and twisting every cell. Stretching the plasma , boiling it clear to the bone. Then it was gone, as fast as it came.
"Severusss...why haven't you brought me that boy. You are failing me" The hiss chilled the potion master to the bone. Voldermort circled him like a vulture want to strike his prey.
"My lord, the old fool is watching him to closely, I can not get him alone." He controlled his voice and fear, never allowing his mask to fall.
"Try harder..." The Dark Lord screamed, throwing Snape under the curse once more.
~~~~~~~~~
So you say you're not gonna fight 'cause no one will fight for you
You say the weight of the world has kept you from letting go
A rapture of pain pulled his heart through his apart. Two lives. Two worlds. One mission. The boy. One wanted to save the world, while the other wanted destruction and pain. Never in his life had he been so torn. Building up hope was so hard when all he known was failure. He failed his father, mother, Lily, Voldemort, Dumbledore,...Harry. He was cold, lonely, and lost. When had it gotten this way? When did he lose himself.
~~~~~~~~~
And you think compassion's a flaw and you'll never let it show
Snape stood outside the headmasters office trying to gain the courage to enter. Every last hope and energy was drained from his body. With a sigh he spoke the password and watched the gargoyles spring apart to allow his entrance.
"Serverus, my boy. How are you tonight?" The mans sickly sweet voice, always made Snape sick. Dumbledore's act with playing grandfather was amusing at first but now he realized how much it was manipulations.
"You called for me Albus?"
"Yes, yes. Lemon drop?" As always Snape shook his head and let the headmaster continue. " Ah well your loss my boy. I wanted to know if you have anymore information from Tom"
"Sadly, no I do not, he is very angry though that I can not steal the boy from school" He answered.
"Ah yes, speaking of Harry. I have been hearing you that you are being harder then usual on the boy. It is a tough time that he just lost his godfather, there is no need to harder on him. He needs support if we are ever going to win this war. Even your support. Times are hard and we have bigger tasks to carry out."
" That child is arrogant and corrupt, I will not sit around and treat him like a baby. He needs no compassion or love. He gets that enough from his Weasleys' and Granger. I wish not to talk about The Task" With a storm he flew from the room, wanting to end the conversation. It was to hard.
~~~~~~~
And you're sure you've hurt in a way that no one will ever know
But someday the weight of the world will give you the strength to go
He was broken and he knew it. Ever nerve was dead, finally. It would never hurt again, but the emotions still stayed. He felt cold and lost in desperation. Remembering all those he had failed. All the sadness and frustration. The confusion, he was damned and knew it. If he let it all out, it would reveal he had nothing left to lose. He wanted to erase all the pain and to heal. He let it go.
Moving into his bathroom he screamed in the mirror, cursing his refection. Hating every fiber in being. He swung his arms knocking everything from its place onto the floor. The cold decay of his memories assaulted him once more. Tears tried to escape from the black hallow eye but it was never allowed. The pain, deep inside bubbled to the surface, trying to claw a way out. The wound was always open, waiting to bleed.
The memories consumed him, tearing their claws through his heart. He reached for The Potion, clutching it like a cure. He opened the bottle and with shaking hands he downed the contents and tossed the bottle to the floor. He felt free, numb to the core. A thought crossed his mind, an idea. Taking his wand he whispered a single spell.
Blood poured down his arm. It felt amazing, no pain, nothing. Snape laughted, for the first time in years. A smile danced across his face, he had beaten the odds and felt nothing. His laughter died and turned into chokes. Tears poured for the first time since Lily died. He curled his body, close as he could and let it all go...For tomorrow he had to live his two lives, in his two worlds...
So hold on the weight of the world will give you the strength to go
So hold on the weight of the world will give you the strength to go
Just hold on the weight of your world will give you the strength to go
Robot boy- Linkin park
I know its not very long, but this is how I think Snape feels, at least through the six book. So love it or hate it! I might make another it a two shot and write about the tower with dumbledore, but lets see what you think...REVIEW?