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I would like to thank my lovely beta FoXx8u Thank you so much for helping me out and giving me advices :)

Rin Point of view

I was thinking about the days when I had no friends, when I hadn't known about my true power, when everything was okay, when the routine was slowly making my life hell...from the stares that I was getting, the beatings from my classmates, the betrayals from their promises. I hadn't fought back because of my father words kept haunting me since I was child, I wanted him to be proud of me, and I had promised myself to be a man who can protect his brother by using his heart, not his anger.

I thought that I could keep living with that promise by distancing myself from everyone, but I couldn't, no matter what, everything was fine and I loved my solitude, until I met Reiji and his friends... he came as a transfer student but made friends easily and became popular between his peers, he also gained two loyal friends, might I add before friends, loyal fake friends?

He wanted, no...He ordered me to join his group; because I am strong and I would be able to protect him, but I refused him. My life, in that day, became a living hell. He kept following me everywhere I went, he found out where I was living, he found out that I only have a father, and he kept bullying me. Until he became obsessed to find more about me, I don't know why he wanted me that bad, I mean... I know that I am strong, and cannot be defeated easily, maybe that's the reason? To me, it seems a very silly reason.

I started to get frustrated because of him and I was slowly breaking my promise, I decided to fight him back, the day where I knew the truth. It was kind of my fault, maybe I shouldn't have fought back then he would be safe and not possessed by a demon, it was my entire fault. I shouldn't have broken my promise, I shouldn't have fought back.

The reason I started to regret my decision was because I turned him into a monster.

I am Rin Okumura, son of Satan. As the spawn of the king of all demons, many people fear me. Far more wish to see me dead. I want to change their opinion of me, to show them that I don't take after Lucifer, the monster that killed the man that raised me. But... no matter what I do... how much I sacrifice...nobody gives a damn about what demons think or do; after all they're still just demons. Many of the exorcists still think that I'm slipping, giving way to my demonic self, losing control... Maybe I am?

So I did what only I can do is to act, nobody knows how I suffered this year, this agony and this deep despair... I have sold my own body to keep myself unharmed. You still didn't got it? Right?...what I mean is that I got molested and raped at the same time, by a human and yet they call me a demon. It's started when I got another interview in a coffee shop near the true cross academy. I wore the same suit that my father gave me it to look pleasant.

I was so happy that I am finally able to be someone who can depend on himself, halfway through the street I spotted that guy who got possessed by Astaroth, it's Reiji again, I saw him with his two bully friends beating a little kid, the kid's face was covered in blood, and he was crying for help, I felt so angry that I wanted to kill, so I ran to where he was standing and punched him hard in the face. I pulled him close by clutching his collar then I have started to punch him many times. His two friends were long gone the moment they spotted me, the kid was hiding in the corner, sobbing silently then I stopped and looked at this guy's face.

"Reiji isn't that your name?" I asked him with so much anger; I couldn't help but feel of these burning emotions..." You...how can you do that to a child!" I've shouted at him, yelled, and punched again. We were in an area that was deserted, he was on the ground below my feet …panting heavily to get his breathe then he laughed... loud it was creepy, I backed away from him a little to have space as he started to regain his focus and body.

He stood up, facing me with his cruel smirk. "Rin Okumaru...Okumaru going for another interview... with the same suit too I guess you didn't got that interview" His mockery voice was making me burn in so much hate and despise, blue flames surrounded my body as I his eyes widened for a bit, he laughed again " I know now that you are son of Satan.. Isn't that right?!...You are a demon, a scum to this earth, you don't belong any where here... what do you want, money I can give" He added and laughed again, I wasn't shocked that he knew I am son of Satan, he was standing in front of me now, I wanted to run, I don't want to hurt him again or worse kill him, It would be wrong to kill someone with my own hands without a good reason... my back hit the wall when I realized that I was backing away from him, he chuckled evilly" Oooh there is no escape now is there"

I felt his disgusting hand was cupping my cheek and started to stroke it with his finger" You are so beautiful Rin, do you know the reason I wanted you all this time?' He paused to answer his question and I shook my head, I really wanted to know the truth.

'Is it wrong to love another guy? God I wanted you so bad, my lust was slowly killing me, I don't feel anything for you but Lust , I kept everyone in school away from you, so no one can see how you make anyone aroused or see how beautiful you are" I was surprised, I was frozen in place, my eyes widened because I knew the truth... Lust? Sadness is what I am feeling right now.

I felt his hand touch where my private area was and I tried to threw a punch but he was faster and dodge it easily, " Now you can't harm me or else I will tell them that you are son of Satan" In this moment I felt of other burning emotions, I was afraid so much that my body kept shaking violently; his hands started to touch my erection and rub it hard then kissed me with force. I, in force was dropped down to my knees, he knelt beside me and roughly pulled my hands behind my back, I cringed in pain. He was naked because his wet, disgusting cock was shoved deep into my mouth, making me gag and forcing me to back off a bit. Tears started to run down my face,

" It's only round one, honey"

He said in a seductive way, but for me I wanted to vomit then I puked, he let go of my cuffed hands to be able kneel on them as I let out all what I ate from breakfast and lunch. It was too much for me to continue, from the corner of my eye I saw that the kid got unconscious, I am glad for that, I didn't want any kid to have a trauma memory about a guy being raped.

My cries got louder when I realized that I am this guy who is getting raped

Holding my hair in a tight fist, he forced me, roughly... to look upward and what I saw, that his cock was still very hard

" Now you can see that I was honest, you made me hard again"

I clamped my hand over my mouth, trying not to vomit more, but I couldn't. He continued to do this for me he thrust his cock inside my ass but he didn't want to cum so he kept pausing and doing other rounds.

He kept muttering "Mine, Mine, MINE" Like a monster who had lost his mind, maybe he is already a monster… disguised by a demon. In that moment I wanted to die. When the suffering ended... he let go of me, all what he said, If I am not mistaken, in a sad voice" Goodbye" , I know now what the true pain is; I felt disgusted and humiliated what would my brother think of me now, or my friends? It was enough that they hated me when they discovered that I was son of Satan, it took for them so long to accept me, but now I am sure that they will hate me forever, because I am so weak. I have decided to keep my mouth shut and it was time to go back to True cross Academy and act as if nothing happened.

When I got back, I found the room empty just as I wished it to be, my twin brother was on a mission for a week just as I requested well actually I pleaded this someone who had found out the truth that I got raped. It was none other than Mephisto, when I was cornered by him, I broke down...

Flashback

When I had reached to the Academy I went directly to Mephisto's Office to ask him for a favor, I was overwhelmed with painful emotions, I wiped the tears away and stopped myself from crying. I knocked the door which was already open, Mephisto looked up and stopped reading some documents, he is still the same as ever, still like a clown to me, wearing his elegant white outfit that consists of a white top hat with pink and purple around the base, purple gloves, a tie that is pink with white dots, a white suit-shirt and undershirt, jester-style pants, and pointed shoes, Upon realizing that his half brother was visiting him, he beamed and stood up

" What a wonderful day, Rin is visiting me…what can I do to help you?"

Knowing that Mephisto liked to cause chaos around, I knew that he was curious as to why I came to him, he stood close to me that our shoulders brushed together, and I tensed... I don't know why but I was afraid for a second, my heart beat increased, I backed away from him in alert, he must noticed that, his brows narrowed in confusion

" I came here for a reason, I kindly ask you to give my brother a mission that lasts for a week"

" Oh why is that?"

He asked me as I have found myself backing away, and in that moment, he also knew that there was something up with me, because how can he not? When tears started to pour out of my eyes, my breathing was labored and I was gulping for breath, he was confused as to why I would cry in front of someone who I hate...we stayed like that for hours, he wanted to know what was going on... he never let me go out.
And because I was still feeling down, I have told him the truth, I know he would never tell anyone. I was ashamed yes that's I was exposed and Mephisto promised me that this Reiji guy was going to pay for what he did to me.

End of flashback

Normal POV

He sighed as he looked around the room, it seemed empty just like his soul and eyes. His eyes were no longer with sparkle or recognition it seemed as if his eyes were dull and lifeless… but you have to look closer so that you can actually identify these unseen emotions.

One week alone, one week to suffer alone and let this pain go, one week to learn how to hide his emotions and he is failing terribly at this task. He had to be careful from Izumi she saw his true eyes and was frightened but never dared to speak out her concerns.

Bon on the other hand was the major problem he had had to be careful around him or avoid him at all cost but after the battle with Satan, 'to avoid' was the hardest thing to do for that they had formed strong brotherly bond, bon was possessive and over-protective about him sometimes he didn't know when that had happened or why Bon was acting this way but he liked it, he didn't want to lose this bond, he didn't want to lose someone again because of himself.

He decided it was time for making a meal to keep him distracted from these thoughts; Kuro spotted him and went to watch him making meals. After awhile he started to drool at the food that's Rin was making, Kuro was amazed at how much Rin cooked… he used all of the food in the refrigerator and he kept calling out for Rin but Rin never answered, never saw him that he was sitting on the table, he was worried, so he decided to see if someone would come and say something to Rin.

When his familiar… Kuro left, the sharpness of the knife that's Rin was holding firmly, accidentally cut the side of his finger, small yet, it bled continuously, he yelped and licked his finger to stop the blood but it wasn't working, he watched as the blood started to flow faster, then he gasped loudly, he was feeling of something incredible, pleasure and relief.

He eyed the knife that's with his hand and tried, he waited with hopeful eyes that's maybe… maybe this is the answer that's he have been searching for a long time, so close he was so close

'RIN'

Crap.

He dropped the knife on the floor, he picked it up to continue chopping then he saw Bon was approaching, and started to act like nothing happened at all

'Ah Bon You scared the hell out of me' He chuckled and was feeling a bit uneasy

Bon was shocked to say the least as he saw all of the food that's had been prepared, a chef will not be able to cook all that by his own

'You cooked all of that?' He asked astonished

Rin was confused about Bon's question, he thought he saw him that he was going to… but no he didn't that was a relief and when he realized at how much he cooked he also gasped.' Oh I didn't realize the time! Are you hungry Bon? We should bring all of our friends here to eat! What do you think?'

He smiled falsely at Bon and prayed inside that he didn't saw what he was about going to do… Bon felt also this tense atmosphere and wondered why Rin was hiding something from him again, this time he vowed to himself that's he is going to find out what is bothering Rin so much, but alas Kuro heard what Rin had said and bounced happily up and down, so he went to call all of Rin's friends and left Bon with Rin alone, Rin broke the tense silence by preparing the table and humming softly at the same time, avoiding eye contact with Bon. Bon was leaning his back on the wall, his arms crossed and still eyeing the blue haired exorcist.

'Rin are you alright?'

Bon decided to ask this question since there was no one here and it was the perfect time to strike up a decent conversation with Rin, the other only shook his head." I am fine, Bon…Just tired" "Are you sure?" He repeated this question to see if Rin would hesitate to answer and will know immediately that he is hiding something." No I said I'm fine".

All of their friends came and they enjoyed eating what Rin had cooked, they joked, talked, and played some silly games together. Rin made sure to act the happy go lucky persona… and now it was a night time, everyone was sleepy and some yawning every now and then so they decided it was time for sleep.

When everyone was out of the kitchen, Rin was about to leave with Bon following behind but Bon strongly grasped Rin's wrist to stop him from leaving, Rin faced Bon…" Listen I know that there's something wrong with you Rin, I am going to find out what is bothering you if you don't want to tell me"

Bon expressions were the determination and confidence when Rin looked at him as he spoke those words, he smiled falsely at Bon" What are you talking about?! There is nothing wrong with me" He chuckled as he started to back away from him and repeated again "There is nothing wrong, nothing" But Bon already figured it out that there is something wrong with Rin with the way he responded to him, head cast down, hands shaking as he tried to hide them, his eyes were covered by his dark blue bangs, then he ran away, leaving Bon determined more than ever to find out what exactly happened to Rin.

When Rin reached to his room, he slammed the door shut and slide down on the floor… feeling ashamed and worthless, he started to feel disgusted… suddenly he remembered that feeling when he got that wound when he was cooking, he eyed the wound briefly and wondering if this is the right answer that's he is searching for.

He stood up and went to lay down on his bed, the other bed was empty; cause there is no Yukio, no one, so who is going to see him doing this? He is wondering and afraid if he will become so addictive to cutting that maybe, someday he is going to end his life accidentally, what then? He shook his head to clear his thoughts, he wasn't going to do it, he will find some another ways to release this pain and suffering, there had to be some ways. Maybe talking with people who went through with the same pain as he did would help, but where he could find these people, how did they coped? He sighed, and without even realizing it he fell to a restless sleep.