Yup. I'm back, and crazier then ever. Admittedly, the end of my last parody was meant to be a joke that there will always be more Mary Sues, and I wasn't planning on continuing. However, I just read some really, REALLY bad Aqualad/Oc and Speedy/OC stories, and I couldn't resist the temptation to mock them. So, to those few of you who read the author's note rather than just skipping down to the story, that is the origin of the fic. Not that any of you care, but still.

Oh right, disclaimer. The authors of Sue stories do not own Teen Titans (thank God.) Oh, and neither do I.

Steal City

Titans East were confronting Steamroller. Just when the battle was about to start, a pair of knives came flying out of nowhere, hitting Steamroller and somehow knocking him unconscious. The Titans turned to see a girl dress in a sexy ninja suit, freakishly pale skin, a perfect hourglass body, long, raven black hair going down to her butt, and emerald green eyes.

"Sup," she said. "The name's Shadow, and I wanna join you guys."

"Uh, who are you?" asked Bumblebee.

"I have the power to transform into any cat as well as having cat powers. I also have telepathy (but only with men) and I am super good with martial arts."

"So, you're the unnatural hybrid of Queen Bee, Cheetah, and Cheshire?"

"No, I'm totally original!"

Bumblebee sighed. She had people asking to join the team every other week. "Sorry girl, but you can't just beat up one dude and expect to join us. If you want to become a Titan, take it up with Robin. He'll probably let you. Heck, he doesn't even run background checks before handing out communicators."

Speedy, however, was not listening. As he gazed at the girl, he knew that he wanted commitment, he wanted a faithful romance, and the fact that he is a player completely skipped the notice of the author. He knew this girl had to join, for he loved her.

Aqualad too was transfixed by the girl in front of him. Although he was constantly having far prettier girls swoon over (cough Starfire and Raven cough) he knew this was THE girl.

"Come on, Bee, we should instantly accept her and take her back to the tower so she can join the team," said Aqualad. Both he and Speedy blushed at the thought of this perfect girl living with them.

Bumblebee raised an eyebrow. Speedy and Aqualad were acting really out of character. "Uh, no. As team leader, I use me veto power to-"

"Sorry guys, but I don't want to be a Titan," interrupted Shadow.

"Wait, didn't you just say you wanted to join our team?"

Speedy and Aqualad were heartbroken. "Please!" they wailed. "Join our team! We have cookies!"

"Alright!" said the girl, suddenly turning into a cheetah and running away.

"Wait, hold on, I never-ugh!" Bumblebee was understandably frustrated. Not only did some freak want to join the team, but she somehow convinced Speedy and Aqualad to support her too. Bee shook her head. This was not going to end well for her or the readers of this fic.

Mas turned to Menos. "¡Qué bonita crees que es?"[1]

"No es tan bonito como Miss Starfire."[2]

"Si."[3]

And with that, the twins and Bumblebee traveled back to the tower, unaware of the horror that was about to befall them.

Confession time: I don't speak Spanish and I'm using Google Translate. If the translation isn't perfect, sorry.

[1] How pretty do you think she is?

[2] Not as pretty as miss Starfire.

[3] Yes.