Hello, Hello, Hello.
Disclaimers: I do not own The Simpsons nor Anime.
ENJOY!
(Channel 6 news theme song plays on the background with the logo appearing on the screen).
"This is Channel 6 news" Kent Brockman (which later switched to him) said, holding the papers in front of his torso. "Here our today's top story: Krusty the Clown is hosting a live musical performance next month called 'The Clown of the West' with him starring as Sheriff McClownface along with Sideshow Mel, Mr Teeny and special guest stars such as Lady Gaga, Beyoncé, Jay-Z, Kanye West, Drake, Nicki Minaj, 50 Cent, Eminem, Snoop Dogg, One Direction, Little Mix, Lil Wayne, Katy Perry, Chris Brown, Justin Bieber, Carly Rae Jepsen, Miley Cyrus and last but not least, Fifth Harmony. So I insist you to get your tickets now or else they'll will be gone within 2 weeks. Now moving on to another today's top story: The dad of three children named Homer Simpson decided to boycott anime, which is short for Japanese animation or what he likes to call them 'Rip off cartoons that copied American cartoons'. He's live in the studio where I don't know what location it is. Now over to you Mr. Simpson, tell me why is it that you want to ban anime in America?"
"Well Kent, here are the reasons why I'm doing this" Homer said in a serious tone, he was sitting at the back of the desk with a dim light on and two bags from the Krusty Burger with two large shakes. "Is because my children, Bart, Lisa, Maggie and other children of other parents are being brainwashed by this what-cha-ma-call-it anime or 'rip off cartoons that copied American cartoons' that makes adults behave like children and babies. Also, these b*****ds came out of nowhere are responsible for stealing every animation from the world's greatest country and who the hell calls it 'anime'? Come on seriously? Why would they pick a stupid brainless childish word for a cartoon? It's a piece of s**t, whoever thought about it are a bunch of a******s that likes to corrupt the country with these b***h-a** punks, copying something that was invented by us... THE AMERICANS!"
"Dad. Why are you doing this?" Lisa asked, interrupting the broadcast. "And also, you can't banned the entire Japanese animation or anime is what we call generally, they don't even make adults behave like children and babies"
"Oh really? Who would call a show Naruto? He doesn't even look Japanese, which means he's an illegal immigrant that snuck his way into a village, claiming that he's Japanese but look at him, he has blonde hair and blue eyes! Oh come on, have you ever seen an Asian with blonde hair and blue eyes? He's also happens to be in love with that chicken butt shaped haired dude named Mr. Emo, who wants to get strong in order to beat the hell out of his brother for stealing his tomatoes and stuffed animals and has a pink haired slave who only wants him to get laid with her. And don't forget the stupid white haired teacher who always cover his face in order to hide the ugliness that can make people's head explode and everyone in that show calls themselves ninjas? They don't know nothing about being a ninja and they have those 9 cr*ppy no brain beasts inside the host who makes them do dumbest things"
"That's not how the story goes"
"Shut up Lisa, you should be proud of your father doing the right thing"
"Uhh... no you're not" the voice said revealing to be Bart, carrying Maggie. "And I don't even think the fans would like to see this"
"I love rubbing it in their faces" Homer took out the burger and began eating it. "Oh and also, what kind of name is 'Bleach'? What do they do? Bleached their stupid fancy dresses and kill these killer ghosts by using these ridiculous weapons that transforms into sissy type of weapons and who the hell says 'Bankai'? It's sounds like a toddler puking on their grandfather's mouths. Oh and what's up with these wannabe b***h-a** pirates that's looking for a treasure called 'One Piece', it might be as lame as 'Sailor Moon', the anime for sissies that tells a group of dumb planet girls, dressing up like hookers wanting to get money by showing their body parts to older men. Pokemon is an animal cruelty show where animals are forced to fight to death by their evil and torturing owners who enjoys it and would likely to eat them for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Oh and don't forget 'Dragon Ball', the show which is about where everyone have to collect all the dragon's balls if you know what I mean 'DRAGON'S BALLS' to bring back dead people, meaning that they're voodoo practitioners and...
Many anime series disses later...
"And that's why anime is the worst, disgusting, boring and yet a piece of a** kissing garbage piece of cr*p, EVER! LET'S BAN EVERY ANIME IN THIS STATE!" Homer kept on talking as Bart, Lisa, Maggie, Brockman and all the viewers got really bored and sleepy. "Ooh? Don't forget Vocaloid, they're just a piece of cr*p and garbage music stars that deserves to go to hell and get laid with satan and his minions!"
"Thank you for sharing this Mr. Simpsons" Kent Brockman was yawning and rubbing his eyes. "But would you get worried about the fans' reaction to this?"
"They would thank me later, as I assume" Homer said
"Oh please, they would tear you from limb to limb and use your lower body as a trophy" Bart said
"Why you little!" Homer starts strangling Bart. "This will teach you not to mess with America!"
"Dad!" Lisa shouted "We're still on air!"
"Sorry" he let go off Bart. "Thank you for having me guys... AMERICANS RULE!"
"Are you sure you're not that worried about the fans? They gonna start finding you and would likely to rip you apart"
"Oh please, I would call Superman to whoop their weak asses until they give in"
"*Rolls her eyes* Okay... but just remember this. You've made a biggest mistake that you'll ever regret"
"Really? These characters are not even real, they can't hear, see nor feel anything. Now then, it's time to order 4 pizzas. Let's see" Homer starts writing down the food he's gonna order. "One with pepperoni, the other with vegetarian, the other with spicy beef and the other with chinese chicken. Which comes with 2 large bottles of Buzz Cola and 4 Ben and Jerry ice creams, one cookie dough, the other cotton candy, the other fudge brownie and the other caramel chew chew"
"*Sighs* You'll be sorry one day"
"What for? I have every right to say this"
"Really, if they were real, what would you do?" Bart asked
"I'll just keep on hiding until they give up" Homer said while holding the phone.
"Are you sure?"
"I am 100%"
"If their superpowers are real?"
"I'll call Superman or the Avengers or Suicide Squad to take care of them"
"Oh boy"
Maggie suckles on her pacifier, twice.
Meanwhile, somewhere in an unknown place...
Inside a very dark room, there were two armchairs facing the big screen. One of the armchair had a hand, laying on the arm of it, tapping the finger repeatedly while watching Homer making an insults towards anime on the Channel 6 news, the other hand grabbed the remote and rewinds the video for a few seconds.
"And that's why anime is the worst, disgusting, boring and yet a piece of a** kissing garbage piece of cr*p, EVER!"
*Rewinds*
"And that's why anime is the worst, disgusting, boring and yet a piece of a** kissing garbage piece of cr*p, EVER!"
*Paused*
"So this fat idiot's calling anime a childish piece of shit, huh?" the voice of young man said
"Hmpf! This guy doesn't even know what he's doing to himself" the voice of a young woman said
"Agree, he doesn't even know who he's messing with. They watch it because it's their passionate interest and teaches them about life lessons, not getting insulted by this 'fat burger chomping crap-hole thinking he is a better person'. This is an outrage to the creators... and to US"
"What should we do? We can't just sit here and let him get away with it"
"Don't worry. We're not gonna be the only ones teaching him a lesson for being loutish when it comes to anime" he took the cellphone that was on the small round table, dialing the numbers and placed it on to his ear. "Why hello... Yes yes... there something I want to talk you and the others about... something that you wouldn't be satisfied..."
Back at the studio...
Homer was whistling with his hands on the back of his head while the legs were on the table, waiting for his food that was taking a long time, Bart was playing on his PSVita, Lisa was playing on her saxophone and Maggie is having a tea party with her 3 little plush toys, one is a green rabbit, the other was a purple teddy bear and the other was a blue monkey.
"What's taking the pizza guy so long?" Homer said "I'm really getting hungry by now"
"You already had four Krusty Burgers, why you're having more?" Lisa asked
"Because I love pizza"
"Did you remember what mom told you?"
"(Imitating Marge's voice): Homer, when you're on a long journey, eat as much as you can"
"That's not it"
"Then what did she say?"
"*Sighs* 'Homie, while you're out with the kids, don't eat too much and drink too much' is what she said"
"Well she's not here because she refuses to turn against these stupid-ass-rip-off-cartoons known as 'stinky-piece-of-crappy-anime' or whatever it is"
"Will you quit it already?" Bart complained as he placed his PSVita in his pocket. "We need to go home now, besides we've been waiting for the pizza guy for nearly 2 hours, why don't we just ditch him and eat at home?"
"Who told you that?!" Homer stands up from his seat.
"For crying out loud! Nobody told me anything, you bought us here to listen to your 'anime diss' and do you have to say it in front of the viewers?!"
"Read my lips... TO. DEFEND. AMERICAN. CARTOONS. FROM. THESE. ANIME. JACKASSES."
"No you're not, you're just being harsh and obnoxious to the people who put their hard work on them"
"I have every right to be harsh and obnoxious, and besides, these people who created these monsters must be stopped"
"Well they can't be. Plus, anime is not a rip off of American cartoons, they have their own art style and it's all about teaching people life lessons"
"American cartoons can do better then that"
"It doesn't matter, they're both good"
"Says you. Hmpf!"
All of the sudden, the sound of a knock came from the door. Homer told his son to go open the door, which he did and the person revealed to be a mysterious pizza delivery guy, he was wearing an orange polo shirt with black short sleeves, an orange cap which covers his eyes, blue jeans and a pair of white sneakers. He was carrying 4 pizzas, 2 drinks and 4 tubs of ice creams that Homer ordered.
"About time" he stood up and pulled his wallet out of his pocket. "How much would that be?"
"It's free" the pizza delivery man said
"Okay let's see. Wait a minute, did you just said it was free?"
"Yeah"
"WOOHOO! I don't have to pay! I don't have to pay! I don't have to pay! In your face pizza dude! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"Say. Aren't you the guy that was talking shit about anime not so long ago?"
"Yes, that's me. And besides, did you notice that the character Naruto is an illegal immigrant that infiltrated the village, pretending to be Asian?"
"*Sniggers*. You're just about wrong there buddy"
"What do you mean by that?"
"That's because" the delivery man took of his hat, showing his blonde spiky hair, whiskers like scars and cerulean eyes. "I'M NARUTO!"
"NARUTO!" Bart and Lisa cheered as they run up to him along with Maggie, jumping and circling around him. "NARUTO! NARUTO! NARUTO!"
"Oh, so it's the illegal immigrant of the leaf village, but not for long. When they find out, they'll put you to jail and after that. Deportation!" Homer folded his arms.
"And how would they do that?" Naruto threw the hat away.
"With me telling them that you're an illegal immigrant"
"Really?"
"Don't you 'really' me young man or should I say, Mr. Illegal-immigrant-of-the-leaf-village. You listen here buddy, I'm gonna be placing a ban on this stupid-ass-so-called-crappy-anime and I won't stop talking about how bad, babyish, poopish, garbage and idiotic it is until they get rid of these bastards that ripped off American cartoons!"
"Oh is that right?!"
"Uh huh!"
"Because we're gonna keep on kicking your big fat butt until you shut up!"
"We? Who's we? You're the only one that's here. Pffft, besides, you and what army?"
"THIS!" Naruto raised his hand and finger snapped.
The studio lights turned on, revealing the entire anime characters, surrounding the 4 out of 5 Simpson family in circles. It looks like they wanna kill and rip Homer Simpson apart for what he said about them.
"Uh oh" Homer said
UH OH INDEED!
Next Chapter would be up pretty soon.
PEACE OUT!