AN: NSFW!
Gabriel was running out of ways to hit on Sam.
Considering that he was a motherfucking archangel who had watched humanity at a distance since its conception and then later decided to go and fuck around with the naked apes (literally, but let's not judge) – this was impressive.
He'd tried sweet, he'd tried classy, he'd tried up and in your face, he'd tried subtle, he'd tried rude, he'd tried manipulative. He had tried every goddamn thing he could think of to get him into Sam's pants without introducing magic.
And he knew, he knew that this was just hitting ridiculous but he was so freaking sick of trying just to get a sassy comment that was really undeserved. So fine, he wouldn't try. This time, the sassy comment would be totally deserved.
Sam was unbelievably hungry. For the last half hour all he could think of was the glazed donut he'd been hoarding in his room, but he needed to shower the monster gore off of himself before he could even think about eating something.
Grabbing a rubber band, he snapped his hair up into a sloppy ponytail, practically salivating as he headed towards sugary goodness. He opened the door, and oh, that's why Gabriel hadn't bugged him while he was in the shower.
Gabriel was laid out on his bed, legs spread, donut settled around the base of his very erect dick. Sam closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and reminded himself that punching Gabriel would break his hand. He wasn't in the mood for this. He just wanted his fucking donut.
He stalked across the room, snatched the pastry off of Gabriel's dick, and stalked back out. He bit in with a satisfied sigh, a distant part of his brain noting that Gabriel had put on some kind of chocolate flavored lube.
Whatever.
As an archangel, Gabriel had the ability to calculate all the possible outcomes of a situation and their likelihood.
As an archangel, Gabriel felt like a dumb fuck for not even thinking of what just happened.