AN: I've returned to the Gone fandom! This is a oneshot about Quinn, just because I think he deserves more attention. Also because I love him.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Quinn doesn't think he's worth much.
He's got his fishing business, of course – and that's worth a lot to the starving kids who wait on him and his crew every day. He supposes that means he's worth more to Caine now than to Sam.
Sam.
They used to be best friends, Quinn and Sam. The surfers. Brothers. Unique from the rest of the school, in their own little clique, just the two of them. And that was perfect, back when everything was normal and they weren't encased in some sort of stupid bubble. It suited them just fine. They tried so hard not to fit in, even if they didn't know they were trying at all. Quinn looks back and knows that they were, though. They wanted to be different to everyone else. Now, he can see that same quality in Sam today. He's different from everyone else. He's the one who was always going to lead them, he's the one with the powers. Quinn wonders where his desire to be different came from, because he's nothing special.
When the hell did that start to matter, anyway? When did Sam become the special one? He'd like to be able to truthfully say it didn't matter – but it did. It had always mattered. Quinn and Sam worked together like two sides of the same coin. Shiny at first, but over time, one side would always grow to be brighter than the other. When Sam became special, Quinn became nothing.
And it was a shame, such a crushing shame, because Quinn and Sam had been so close. Then the FAYZ happened. He'd have liked to have blamed their loss of trust on that, or on Astrid when Sam begun to have eyes only for her, or on Edilio when he tried to worm his way into Quinn's place (although if Quinn is being honest, he knows that had never been Edilio's intention for even a second). But Quinn knows it was none of those things.
It was when he'd betrayed Sam to Caine.
Quinn can't even fathom what he must have been thinking at the time. He's tried to block all memories of that disaster out of his mind, but they always come back to haunt him before anything else – before innocent kids dying, before the massacre in the town plaza, before Zil's gang started rebelling, it's always his unforgivable betrayal he can't stop thinking about. Denying it for all these months hasn't helped. That was the exact moment Quinn lost Sam forever.
And without Sam, who is he? He's not Quinn, Sam Temple's right hand man anymore. That's Edilio. He's not Quinn, Sam Temple's most trusted friend anymore. That's Astrid. And he's never even been Quinn, Sam Temple's most valuable asset anymore. That's Lana, Dekka, Brianna, Jack and a whole host of other people. He's just Quinn the fisherman.
Just Quinn.
And really, for most people, that would be enough. Most people in the FAYZ want that. At least he isn't starving, or sick, or grieving, or dead.
Although the last two are debatable.
Really, he's gotten lucky. He's pulled one of the longest straws of the batch. He's Quinn the fisherman, relied on by everyone else to keep their stomachs full enough to survive. Sometimes that can be a tall order, if they don't have such a good day out in the boats, but most of the time it's an easy job, and the fishermen are well loved for doing it. It's a simple life, just the type of thing Quinn always had in mind.
But then he compares that to what Sam is doing – to what all of them are doing. He can't bring himself to call them freaks. He's done that before, and he regretted it straight after. It only served to further distance him and Sam. But he can't quite accept that they're just like him, either. He won't believe that. And he's not sure why.
Perhaps it's because Dekka survived being eaten from the inside out by bugs, which isn't fair because anyone else (normal) would have died. Perhaps it's because Toto's truth telling isn't fair, either. It could even be because his slim chances with Lana were never fair, and he doesn't even care how childish that is.
Does Quinn even deserve fair? Does anybody know what fair is anymore in the FAYZ?
Of course they don't, but this is the FAYZ, a new balance of right and wrong. People make up rules anyway when they're needed. Quinn isn't sure he wants to conform to Caine's, but he's made his choice to stick around Perdido Beach. He's not regretting it at all, and that's the honest truth. He does miss Sam, but he missed Sam when they lived on the same street. The day Sam and everyone else left, Quinn finally accepted that his place would never be at Sam's side again. Maybe it never was – maybe Sam was always destined for bigger and better things, FAYZ or no FAYZ. And though he hated to admit it, Quinn would have never fitted in with that. He's just not good enough.
It still hurts to know Sam doesn't need him anymore, but it's a dull ache, something that's been nagging at him for a while. He'd never say it out loud, because it's not manly at all and quite embarrassing actually, but Sam left a hole in Quinn's heart when they drifted – no, fell apart, and fishing is starting to fill that hole, feeding the kids of Perdido Beach. He has a purpose. Something that makes him feel useful for once, which is a relief since he'd almost forgotten how that felt.
Quinn supposes how much you're worth all depends on who needs you the most.
please don't favourite without reviewing. :)