The first time I ever held a pokeball it was wet and covered with dirt. It was heavier than I thought it'd be. It was cold and it was smooth, aside from the dirt. And I had no idea what to do with it.I was about 14 or 15 years old then. I must have sat there in the grass at the edge of the swamp for an hour just staring at it, rolling it around in my hands, and studying its features. I never thought I would ever actually have one of my own.
Well, I guess it wasn't my own. But finder's keepers, right?
At that age I thought any chances of me becoming a pokemon trainer were over. Most kids went off on their quest as early as age 10. I was halfway through my teens and had only occasionally even seen a pokemon, let alone captured, trained or battled any, but Momma wasn't gonna have any of that. She didn't think much of pokemon or kids going off on some wild journey through God knows what to be a pokemon master. It wasn't practical. To Momma, pokemon were just wild beasts that had no place in a proper home. Perhaps they were useful as a tool for the occasional chore or special work that needed done. Obviously, we didn't have any pokemon for chores. That's what I was for.
Gowin up, Momma and me didn't have much. We lived about a mile down a dirt road away from town. The road followed a alongside a creek that eventually became a swamp. Our house was at the end of the road, just a bit before the creek ended and the swamp land started. The house had to have been a 100 years old or more. Mostly made of creeky wood. It was a short two stories with a small cellar. It's the same house that Momma grew up in and her Momma and her Momma and so on. I guess one day it was supposed to be mine. I hated that house. Wasn't good for shit during the winter. If the wind were strong enough outside, then there was an icy breeze inside. There was an old iron stove and a fireplace, but Momma rarely lit the fireplace. Just a few crackling embers pop out and the whole house could go up like gas station toilet paper. During the humid nights of the summer, some of the fog from the swamp would drift in. Once it got so thick I could hardly see my way to the bathroom and stubbed my toe so bad on the door jamb I swore it was broken. I wasn't, but it was cut pretty good. Left a hell of a mess on the floor. Momma wasn't happy about that. Blood doesn't scrub too well off wood floors that old.
That swamp just past the house is where I spent most of my free time as a kid. Any opportunity I had to get out of the house was spent there. Sure it was a musty sticky old swamp, but it was better than the house where Momma would just find endless chores for me to do. We didn't have neighbors. Momma didn't want a TV in the house, and the only books she allowed were school books and an old bible that always sat on the fireplace mantel that rarely got touched. The only sorta fun I really had was the old swamp. I think I was about six years old the first time I decided to really explore it. And it was the time I saw my first ever real life pokemon up close. Momma had been on the phone all morning yelling about something. Money something probably. I don't remember. I just wanted go somewhere quiet. I ended up walking along the grassy edges of the water for I don't know how long, but I couldn't see the house anymore. And I couldn't hear and yelling. There were a series of grassy and mussy trails in between the water. Some spots poked out of the water just enough like little islands that I would hop between. The trees always seemed to look dead and broken, even though I guess it was a pretty healthy swamp. There were nothing close by that could contaminate the waters or harm the vegetation. It was all nature. I guess it was just an old swamp. Had been a swamp all ife, and it was getting wrinkled and tired. Ready to die even.
I found a pretty good spot where the ground was firm, grass wasn't real tall, and the sun shot it's rays through the canopy just right. The water was a grey-green murky, but still seemed to sparkle in its own way. I was hot and tired from walking so I kneeled down and splashed some of the water on my face. I can't say it tasted great running down my lips, but it sure felt good. About ten feet across the water, I heard the grass ruffle on the next bank. Kip kip, it chirped. It startled me and I rubbed greasy water out of my eyes and looked across and saw it. Large round black eyes looked back at me. A short blue fin on top of it's blue head. Orange prickles just starting on its cheek. I don't think I knew it at the time, but it was a Mudkip. For a moment I didn't know how to move. It was the cutest most special thing I had ever seen. It was so small and innocent looking. Just a baby thing, hardly a few weeks old I'd guess. It looked at me and at the water and back to me. There were some thick leaves resting in the water between us. I think it was judging to see if it could make the jump between the leaves to come over and investigate me further. And I was more than welcome to say hello myself.
It crouched its front legs and head down as if to get a better look of the water. Its back legs kick and then sturdied themselves. It was ready to make the trip across the water. Behind Mudkip, it looked like a purple arm suddenly reached out and grabbed its head. It happened so quick I didn't realize what was happening right away. I didn't know its name at the time, but an Ekans had came up from behind the Mudkip and clamped its jaws around the back baby Mudkip's skull. The little thing squealed and shrieked. I never heard a sound before that was filled with pure fear like that. The length of the Ekans' body wrapped itself around the Mudkip and tightened. The Mudkip cried again. One of it's limbs managed to slide free of the grasp, but all it could do was kick helplessly. The Ekan's maw moved further down from Mudkip's skull to its neck, folding over the little blue fin and muffeling it's cry, but only for a minute when a burst of water shot out as if from a canon from beneath the murk. It collided with Ekans and its victim shaking its grip loose. A tall blue fin first pierced from under the water, then a large head with long orange spurs quivering from it's cheeks. It must have been momma Mudkip. Ekans uncoild itself from baby Mudkip, whom then layed on the bank hardly moving, and raised itself tall and hissed like the devil at the much larger adversary. But just one more water burst from momma Mudkip was enough to put its jaw in the dirt.
That's when momma Mudkip then turned its giant head toward me and barked. It started kicking its back feet kinda like the baby did just a moment ago, but not as if it were going to hop between leaves, but jump the entire length of the water and come after me. I just remember high tailin it out of there back toward the house before I ended up like Ekans.
Within the space of maybe a minute I had witnessed the cutest, scariest, most awful and most exciting thing I had ever seen. A real wild pokemon battle.
Godamn, was I hooked.
I ran inside the house, which I knew momma didn't like, me running in the house, but I was so excited to tell her what I saw. She was sitting in her chair with her drink. I guess she was exhausted from yelling on the phone earlier. I stood in front of her and told her the whole story of what I had just seen. The cute Mudkip, the evil Ekans, and the hero momma Mudkip saving the day. My arms and hands tried to act out the event bigger than what it probably was. When I was done I was all out of breath, and momma had no look on her face. Nothing. Just blank. She had gray-white hair that she always kept in a short ponytail, simple framed glasses that were tight against her face. Her cheeks just slightly drooped beneath the line of her mouth. She always wore the same kinda simple pull over dresses. Appropriate for a lady, but comfortable. Momma had always been stern with me, made sure there was plenty of discipline in the house. But that was the first time I remember when she was down right mean to me. She threw her drink in my face. It burned my eyes. I remember wanting to run back to the swamp to rub that greasy water in my eyes again instead of this. Weird the things you remember. She grabbed me by my own little pull over dress she made for me herself and threw me to the floor. "Emmalyne Avery," she said. "If I ever catch you near that swamp again, I'll lock you in the cellar for a week." She left me there crying on the floor, my eyes still burning. I could hear her poor herself another drink and walk upstairs to her room.
A mile up the dirt road was Datto Town. It was probably established about the same time me and Momma's house was first built. Everything in it looked old and worn. The buildings were small and old fashioned, and most of the store fronts were closed or for rent. It had the skeleton of of a town that was bustling some four decades prior, but now time and technology had left it in the past. There were still a few mom and pop shops. A grocery store, a general store, a very small pokemon center that had opened up just a few years ago(the town was really pushing to finally get one. Before, you had to go all the way up to Corning), municipal buildings, a church, and a school.
A lot of kids hated school. They just wanted to learn about pokemon, not math or science or history. Now'a days, schools typically have a pokemon class, but not then. Otherwise momma probably would have home schooled me. I think the only reason she didn't was because she didn't quite get the math and science stuff herself, so school became my only outlet to the world, and I loved it. All the other kids loved pokemon just like me, but I didn't speak up much about it. For one, I knew Momma didn't like me even saying the word pokemon, so I felt guilty about it even when she wasn't around. For two, I really didn't have any idea what I could say or talk about. I really didn't know anything about them. One day during lunch time I found a little courage and told a group of kids about the day at the swamp with the Ekans and the Mudkip. None of them were really impressed. The other kids' parents were pretty supportive if their kids studying pokemon and one day going on their pokemon adventure. They had interacted with pokemon, had pokemon in their families, watched pokemon battles on TV. So my little story wasn't much to them I guess. Or at least it wasn't much coming from the dirty little swamp girl.
One girl who liked my story was Rebecca Howela. She was my age and just as excited and new to pokemon as I was, except she knew a lot more than I did. Her parents embarrassed her love for pokemon. I loved talking with her and listening to her tell me about all the strange and wild and rare and legendary pokemon. I never felt guilty about loving pokemon when I was around her. It felt really good. When you're a kid whos too young to go out on your own journey, the only pokemon you can capture are pokemon trading cards. Each one features a photograph of the pokemon, as well as basic information. Their type, their abilities in battle, their strengths and weaknesses, and other bits of trivia. All the kids had them. They memorized them and traded them, preparing themselves for their own pokemon destiny. Except me of course. No way Momma was gonna let anything pokemon like that in that house. Rebecca would give me extra cards she didn't need. Doubles of stuff she already had or ones she didn't care about. I ate up every single one. The first time she gave me two of them. Exeggcute and Diglett. I gave her the biggest hug I ever gave anyone and I think I started to cry and laugh at the same time. I stared at them the entire walk back home after school. I loved them so much. They were really my pokemon. Or at least it felt like that, even though they were just paper cards. Once I saw the house I realized I should hide them inside my sock so momma wouldn't find them. Then I would find a spot for them in my room to hide them later. But I didn't do much hiding of them. Every moment I knew Momma wasn't around I just kept reading them over and over. My first two pokemon.
Rebecca kept getting more cards. Her collection was really outstanding. About 140 cards she had collected. And she would still give me her doubles and extras and my collection had later grown to 18. It wasn't as impressive, but I was damn proud of it.
One Saturday, me and Momma had to make a trip into Corning. Momma didn't leave the house much, but a part on her sewing machine needed replacing and there was only one place to get it. She called mister Salatil, whom Momma bought seeds and fertilizer from, and asked him to take us in his truck. He was happy to since he was going that way anyhow. My dresses momma had made were starting to get ratty and ill fitted since I was really starting to grow, so I was in need of new dresses for her to make me. I had only been in the city one other time, but I was so young I hardly remember it. I knew it was gonna be at least an hour trip to and from, so I hid a few pokemon cards in my socks again. I just liked having them close by. And Oddish and a Sandshrew I believe is what I took.
On the way we passed by a farm. It was spring and fields were being prepared for the new season. As we drove by in mister Salatil's truck, I saw giant Onix out in the land, tilling and grinding in the earth. At least six of them. I had never seen something so big. The way their horns stood proudly on their heads, their Ekans-like bodies moving effortlessly through the land. It was magnificent.
Momma popped me a good one for looking at them. "Get away from that window," she said. "You look at me or the floor, young lady."
Mister Salatil gave a sideways glance toward Momma, but never said anything about it.
The sewing machine part momma needed was in a large department store. Like I said, it was Saturday, so it was pretty busy in there, so Momma tried to keep me close and away from everyone else. She found a clerk and quickly started to explain what it was she needed. The clerk must not have understood her - that could happen with Momma and regular people - because the conversation was going much longer than it probably should have. A boy across the store caught my eye. He was waiting in a line with his Momma and Daddy. He caught my eye because I noticed he was holding a Sandshrew pokemon card. He noticed me looking at him and I smiled. I looked at Momma and she was still confounding the poor clerk, so quickly, I reached into my sock and revealed the Sandshrew card I had hidden. The boy smiled and laughed. Momma didn't see my hidden pokemon, but she sure turned in time to see me and this boy across the store laughing with each other. Momma turned back to the clerk and said, excuse me, and she grabbed my arm and walked to to the boys cloths department of the store. She didn't buy that new sewing machine part that the poor clerk couldn't understand, but she did buy three pairs of jeans and black t-shirts. She never put me in a dress again after that day.
More and more kids my age were heading off on their pokemon journies. The faces at school were becoming less familiar. But that was fine I guess. I had Rebecca. We had grown so close over the years. We were both around 12 at this point. All we ever wanted to talk about was pokemon. She would always talk about wanting to be a trainer, but also a nurse working at a pokemon center, helping sick pokemon. I loved listening to her talk about her dreams and goals with pokemon, but I never really shared mine with her. Mainly because I didn't know what I wanted with pokemon, but I loved pokemon battles. Maybe it was from that fight with the Ekans and the Mudkip that one day, but the competition aspect of pokemon battling always stuck with me. One afternoon we were walking home from school and I said I wanted to win the Pokemon League world championship. She looked at me awful surprised for a moment. I must have blushed like a tomato. And then she said, "You're gonna do it, one day, Emmy! I'll be there in the stands cheering for you!" We both had a good laugh about it and she put her arm over my shoulder and drew me in close. When I think about the happiest time of my life, it's that moment that I reflect on. When I wasn't dreaming about pokemon, I would dream about Rebecca. What it would have been like to live at her house with her family. The two of us and pokemon all day every day. We said our goodbyes when we came to our split in the road. She lived in a neighborhood up a few streets. I had the mile walk down the dirt road just off route 12. That very next day was the beginning of my world going upside down.
Rebecca snuck up and surprised me in my seat. Gave me quite a jump too cuz I was lost reading about the three evolutions of Eevee when she did it. Nearly tossed my cards all over class. She a big smile on her face. More so than usual. Even her eyes seemed to smile. She was down right beaming. Maybe the only other time I saw her this excited was when she traded 10 cards for one special shiny Venusaur card. Her brown hair bounced in front of her face and offer she shoulders as she stifled laughter. I loved her hair so much. She was much prettier than I was I thought. Her parents still dressed her like a proper girl in cute skirts and dresses and flats with knee socks. Momma was still careful to make sure I didn't put on unnecessary weight so I wouldn't grow too fast out of my jeans and t-shirts.
"I have a surprise for you," Rebecca said. Like a greedy little druggy needing her fix, I immediately thought of more pokemon cards she was gonna give me. Before I could ask what it was she said, "After school!"
The rest of the day dragged on. I prodded her about it, but she wouldn't budge. Her excitement never wavered and it just kept getting me more excited. Finally the last bell rang and I was on her heels all the way out the door. "Tell me tell me tell me tell me" I repeated, trying to annoy it out of her. We went to an outside lunch area where a few picnic tables were. We both sat with the bench with the table to our backs. She took a deep breath and readyed herself. From her school bad she pulled out a four inch red leather binder. I immediately knew what it was. It was her entire pokemon card collection. She didn't like to bring the whole thing to school, but I had seen it once before when it was a brand knew binder. Now it was thick and full and even a little worn.
She held it in front of me and said, "it's for you." I took it and was immediately amazed at just how heavy it was. Filled with so many pokemon. Dozens I'm sure I've never heard of. Rare cards, common cards, shiney cards, holographic cards, exclusive cards. And she was giving it to me?
"Rebecca," I said. "What are you doing? I can't take this. You're crazy." I tried to give it back to her, but she wouldn't take it.
"I don't need them anymore, Emmy," she said. "Next week-" she started to burst with smiles and laughter again, "I start my pokemon journey!"
It was like I had suddenly become stone. Or perhaps an Electabuzz had just hit me with its thunder wave attack. It was a cold shock down my spine. And then a tingling through the rest of my body to my fingertips and toes. I kinda laughed through my teeth. The only words I could manager were, "What time next week?"
She laughed and filled me in on some of the details. I wanted to cry, but I didn't. I think she was putting on a brave face too. She was basically saying goodbye to me a week in advance, and giving me her most prized possession - her pokemon card collection. But she didn't need that collection anymore. She was off to catch real pokemon. Those cards helped teach her and prepare her. Now she was about to be the real deal.
The mile walk down the dirt road home was the longest I'd ever had. I clung to that red leather blinder so hard I felt my heart pounding against it. Once I got close enough to the house I put it in my school bad. The damn thing was so thick I was afraid I wouldn't be able to hide it from Momma, but I managed it and got upstairs to my room to put it away. It helped that some of the swamp fog was drifting into the house and Momma didn't see so well anyway. I must have went through that binder a hundred times that night looking at every card. I even fell asleep with it on my chest, and some of the cards had fallen out to the floor. I felt guilty about that because each of them had suddenly become so precious to me. When I woke up, I quickly put them back in the plastic sleeves and hid the binder under my pillows after I made my bed. The rest of the week till Rebecca took off was such a blur. I had never laughed so hard in my life. I think we both knew it was gonna be a very long time until we met again, so we had to make it count. And I think we did.
It was a Saturday morning when Rebecca was to meet with Professor Karlee and pick her first pokemon. She had told me what Karlee's options for her would be. A Magnemite, a Seel, and a Grimer.
Professor Karlee was arguably the most beautiful woman in our small town. At least I thought so anyway. She spoke to our class once about a safety thing? Or health? I don't remember. I just remember that long blue hair of hers. Her glasses, her smile. But most of all, and I'm not sure if anyone caught it but me, but when she was speaking in class, her elbow caught her white lab coat and above her skirt was a belt with at least three pokeballs attached to it. It was like she was ready to battle at any moment, and, I don't know, maybe she wasn't. But that's what I thought at the moment, and I fell in love with her.
Rebecca didn't tell anyone who she was choosing, not even me. She's such a sweetheart and could always see the beauty in things. She chose Grimer to everyone's surprise but mine. She always had soft spots for the hard cases that everyone else thought was ugly.
I almost missed Rebecca leaving that day. Saturday was chore day (well, every day was chore day, but Saturdays especially). Our little garden outside was the majority of how Momma and I ate every day, but not much was ripe for picking, per my duty every morning, picking the ripe vegetables. I knew I was taking a big risk and probably gonna get caught and punished, but I didn't care. I took off that morning into town to see Rebecca off. Thankfully that morning's swamp fog was particularly thick so Momma probably couldn't see me running off.
I got there late. I was out of breath and sweating through my jeans and black t-shirt. I was hoping to give Rebecca a big hug before she went, but when I got there she was already halfway down route 12 as her family cheered her on. For a moment she turned back to pump her fist in the air. That fist holding the pokeball that held Grimer. And when she did that, I'm sure she saw me, hands on my knees panting for air, and I swear she pointed right at me and smiled before she turned the corner and was gone.
I cried the entire walk back home, down that mile long dirt road. My best friend was gone. My only friend was gone. Off on her pokemon journey. We should have done it together. I wish we could have.
I had to stop and compose myself before I got home. I knew Momma was gonna know I was gone. I had been gone for a few hours at that point. I knew she was gonna be angry.
I walked in the back door half hoping she would believe I was in the garden all day. But no luck. When I walked into the den, Momma was sitting in her chair. The fireplace behind her was lit and full blaze. In my entire life I had maybe seen the fire place so alive in one other occasion. In her hands was the red leather binder.
She didn't say a word. She knew it. I knew it. I had broken the rules.
Like tiny chips she started pulling out cards from Rebecca's collection and tossing them into the fire. The pile of ash by the fire gave away that she had been at it for a while.
The air was gone from my body. All I could do was look to her for mercy.
She tossed the entire binder into the fire and it the fired seemed to reach out for it, starved for more kindling. The corners of the binder twisted upward. Red turned to black. It hissed as if it were the quiet cry of hundreds of pokemon burning alive. I heaved and found my air and screamed. She grabbed me by the arm. I wanted to fight away but I was so tired, and part of me was scared of being punished worse. She pulled me through the back door, and I knew where she was taking me. I let my feet go so she would stop or have to drag me. But she dragged me the whole way. She opened the small wood cellar door and she dropped me in. My face hit the dirt floor pretty hard. I was screaming still, but not because of my face. The wood door slammed above me and I heard it latch. I just layed there in the dirt and cried. My throat was raw by now, and it hurt to scream. Everything hurt.
The cellar was just under the floor of the house, so I could hear Momma cursing. And I had never heard Momma curse before. Something something all your fault, I heard her say. I could hear her steps againsts the wood floor above me. The fireplace gave her a vivid shadow of her pacing back and forth. She got louder in her yelling at no one. More cursing and your faults, then she said a word I had heard only a couple times before. A word more off limits than any pokemon. A name, really. Josiah. Momma was yelling at Daddy. And Momma never liked to talk about Daddy.
At some point, the fire went out and I heard Momma stomp up stairs. I was still laying on the dirt floor of the cellar. I couldn't cry anymore, even though I'm sure I wanted to. I just didn't have any more tears left at that point. It was pitch dark in the cellar, aside from a bit of moonlight that came through the cracks of the wood door. Part of the back wall of the cellar that faced the swamp wasn't entirely under the surface. There were some wood planks that formed a support wall. My eyes were crusty and glazed and unfocused, and I couldn't see anything in that darkness but a little light. And all the sudden I saw purple light. It moved back and forth between the cracks in the wall and then faded. I still layed there for a bit until I got curious enough to get up. I looked through the cracks in the wall and saw the purple light by the swamp. It wasn't so much a light as it was a soft glow, but it was damn sure enough to stand out in the darkness. It floated around above the water, moving slowly around back and forth and then it stopped. It was good distance away, and I couldn't see so well anyhow, but I swear it turned and looked at me.
The next morning, she let me out. "Get to pickin' the garden, girl," she said. The few days and weeks were quiet between Momma and me after that. I did my chores. Picked the garden. Pokemon never came up. I thought about asking about Daddy and why she might be yelling at him when he's gone, but I didn't. Better to keep the peace. School was the same every week. I didn't talk much to anybody. Nobody really cared much to talk to me either I figured. Nasty little swamp girl. Only a few kids my age were around. Most of them had gone off to catch pokemon. But I was still there.
Then it was some afternoon that I found that pokeball. I was down around the swamp. Momma didn't like me being there, but she was taking a nap I knew. I was just wandering, lucky to spot a Weedle, when there it was washed up, half stuck in the mud, half about to wash away down the creek. It was like a bolt suddenly struck me. It was so out of place and damn near impossible. I looked around to see who had lost it, but no one was ever out here in the middle of the swamp but me. I grabbed it and sat cross leg on the bank there looking at it. I washed some of the mud off as best I could, but it was still in the cracks between the button and the seal where the red and white met. My thumb didn't dare press that little button to open it. For one, I didn't know what to do if something came out, but for two, it could have been anything in there and it might have attacked me. I sat there for a long time just rolling it around and playing like I was gonna throw it as if I were in battle choosing a pokemon, or hurling it toward my next catch.
Then fuck me, there was another one drifting down the edge of the bank. This one was open though. Red and white split in half, connected by the small hinge on the back. Any more water collected inside it and it woulda sank to the bottom of the swamp probably forever. I stood up and hooked it with my middle finger and examined it and poured the water out. I lived there my whole life at that point. My backyard was the swamp. Things like this never washed up before. I walked down the land further, and that's when I saw him. A brown skinned guy face down in the water. Sure as shit he was dead. I couldn't tell for how long though. I really hadn't seen much in my 14 or 15 years of life then, but I don't think I was surely not ready to see a dead body. Just like the pokeballs, which I had guessed were his, he was washed up in the mud. Only thing I could figure was he was damned determined to catch a pokemon he chased out this way. The mile dirt road in front of the house got you into town, but the back of the house was swamp and marsh and water for miles and miles more. And the swamp could be tough, but wasn't enough to kill a man, I thought. Something got that bastard. No way it was an Ekans or Mudkip. I could see at least two gym badges clipped to the hem of his sleeve. My eyes were kinda fixed on those, but I didn't dare get too close. A trainer like that should be able to handle a few simple swamp monsters.
I really didn't know what to do. I didn't wanna tell Mamma cuz God knows how she would have flipped out. I felt guilty taking the pokeballs, but, I mean, come on, he didn't need them anymore. The right thing to do would have been to tell Momma and her call the police. But I was young and dumb and didn't know what I was doing. My biggest concern was how I was gonna hide these pokeballs from Momma if she was awake from her nap and get them up to my room. Plus I guess I was out there longer than I figured I'd be and it was getting dark.
I put them both in the butt pockets of my jeans to see if they would hide well, but then the left one started rumbling. It was the one I hadn't opened. Too scared to open. But godamn it just opened itself. Tore the pocket right out of the ass end of my jeans and knocked me to the grass. If anyone else had been around to see it it probably looked to them like just I farted out a pokemon.
Before me was a either a Poliwhirl or a Poliwrath. The blue silky skin. Eyes looking dead at me. Me half hypnotized by the swirl on its belly. I recognized it from the pokemon cards, but the two look so similar, and in my kid brain it was giant so I remember it being a Poliwrath, but it could have just been a Poliwhirl. Whatever it was, it was exhausted. It was probably hurt and in need of a Pokemon Center.
It sorta huffed a mist of water at me and I threw my hands up expecting a full water gun, but I guess it was too worn out, so it just got me really wet. It looked around and saw the body. Its big white hand reached out to it, but stopped. It whaled something furious and swan dived right into the water. Faster than shit it was gone down the swamp.
So there I was with two empty pokeballs and the back side of my jeans torn out, which Momma wasn't gonna like one bit. I figured they weren't so big that I could put them in my front pockets and cover them with my hands if I had to. If she was up and tried to stop me to say something I could maybe tell her I had to run to the bathroom and that it was an emergency and hide them under the sink for a bit.
Before I left the body there, kinda just hoping the water would carry it away eventually, I really wanted to get a closer look at those gym badges. I slowly crept up to him, half expecting him to pop up out of the water still alive, but he didn't. I got maybe as close as five feet. He was a large guy. The bill of his trainer cap was dug into the mud under that water and made it come off his head a little. He wore a standard issue trainer's shirt. I was amazed by it. You could only buy those in official PokeMarts. I had never been in one before obviously. And to see official trainer gear was new. Even Rebecca didn't yet have that when she left. But again, it was those badges clipped to the hem of his sleeve, just poking out of the water. Official pokemon gym badges. That means he's won some big time battles. I couldn't tell what gym they were from, but I couldn't wait to have my own. I'd be lying if I said it didn't cross my mind to go over and take those for myself too, but that really felt wrong and gross. That's not how I wanted to get my first gym badge.
I took another step toward the body and...well, it's hard to explain. I've had cold wind hit me. Be it in the house of a windy night walking to the bathroom or walking to or from school. I've been battered with cold wind and air. But this day was pretty warm and humid. When I took another step toward that body, it was like a cold wind didn't hit me, but passed completley through me. But it was still strong enough to nearly push me off my feet. I stumbled a step forward, but caught myself. It sent goose pimples down my arms and legs, and suddenly it was gone. It shocked me out of my awe of those badges and reminded me how late it was. The sun was already mostly down. Momma will have questions for me when I gets home.
When I came in the back door, I barely made it to the stairs when Momma called for me. I kept going and began my bathroom emergency excuse when she called out again in her mad voice. That voice I knew wouldn't do me well to ignore. Looking back, I think I had more options at the time. I coulda just kept going, hid the pokeballs, and accepted Momma being mad for me not listening to her. What would have been best if I had just dropped them in the tall grass outside or buried them shallow in the dirt where I knew I could find them again the next day or in the middle of the night. But Momma's yelling stopped me dead in my tacks, and I walked toward her. My hands placed stiffly, but casually in front of my pockets, trying to hide the two pokeballs puffing out.
Momma was in her chair next to her lamp. She had been knitting something as she usually did, but it was pushed aside and she just sat with her drink. She was sitting in the same stop as when she burned all of Rebecca's pokemon cards except the fire place wasn't going this time. Swamp fog had gathered along the floor. "Come here, girl," she said. I knew this was nothing good. She didn't look at me, but her hand reached out and struggled to find one of mine, which was still trying to hide a pokeball. She held my hand softly and near her. "You been out by that swamp again. I know it. I can smell it on you."
"Well..Momma, I was just-"
"Don't you lie to me, girl," she said. She pulled me tighter. Her breath stung my nose.
"You been whorin' it with some boy, haven't ya?"
"What? Momma, please, I-" She flung her drink toward my face, but, sadly, at this point I was familiar with this move of hers and I moved out of the way.
She stood up and took a good look at me. Her eyes then went straight to my pockets. Two round bulges. I had just come from the swamp. Momma was old, but she was no dummy. Even though I knew the pokeballs were empty, I'm sure she thought they had pokemon in them. And nothing I could have said would have changed her mind.
"Emmalyne Avery," she said. "How could you?" She grabbed a bottle that was on the floor by her chair and threw it at me. She missed me, but it scared me nonetheless. It shattered against the wall. "Bring those damn monsters in this house. In my house."
She shoved her left hand in my pocket and pulled out the pokeball in my right pocket. She looked at it for a moment and then turned her eyes to mine. Her thumb pressed the button on the ball. It snapped open. But no pokemon came out. Honest to my word, the ball was empty. Both were. Momma looked curiously at me and her other hand went for my other pocket. Same action. Same result. Two empty pokeballs. That's when I felt another chill. Goose pimples down my arms and legs.
Momma threw both pokeballs at the empty fireplace. They kicked up a good cloud of ash. Even though I had pokeballs, I think not actually having any pokemon in them made her more angry. She grabbed my wrist and I knew what she was after. I dropped to my knees. If she was gonna put me in that cellar then she'd have to drag me again. I screamed a good one. She tried to drag me out, but maybe she had too much to drink, maybe she was too old. She screamed something back, and all the sudden the fireplace kicked on by itself. Momma gasped and let go of my wrist, her full attention to the fire. I scooted away toward the stairs. Its big white eyes appeared first. From the fire. From the air itself, a purple glow took shape. Large points like horns came from it's head. Two sharp paws hung in front of it. A Haunter appeared. Momma's chest heaved up and down. She stumbled backward, but she didn't fall. The wild pokemon's eyes were locked with hers. For a moment I saw Momma take a stand toward it. She was afraid but brave in the same moment. Even in the face of it, her rules were strict. No pokemon in her house, and she wasn't gonna have any of it. She started to yell something, but the Haunter's eyes went red. A gust of something hit me. It wasn't hot or warm like the wind. But a gust of something got me, and I could barely keep my eyes open. All I wanted to do was roll up in the floor and go to sleep. Whatever hit me hit Momma even harder. She collapsed to the floor, knocked out asleep.
This bit gets hard to remember because it was so blurry, but I know it happened. That purple glow that was the Haunter had begun to change again. It was turning black. Its paws grew into its body, and it sprang legs and arms. A toothy grin wiped its face. It growled. I know it did. But it wasn't a sound like you hear with your ears. I heard it in my head. "Gaaarr" it said. Haunter had evolved to Gengar.
Gengar's eyes were still locked on Momma's body. A scream from Momma cut the air. It cut through me. It shook me out of my half sleep. She was somehow asleep but screaming. Gengar had her locked. I had heard Momma raise her voice and get angry with me, but this was different. This was fear and pain. This was Ekans and baby Mudkip. Momma's body began to writhe. Gengar merely tilted his head and his eyes burned. The fire behind him coughed. Her hands came to life and started scratching at her eyes. She scratched them until they were two red pools on her face. When she stopped her body was still quivering and screaming. Slowly the scream got softer until there was no life in her to scream anymore.
Gengar turned and looked at me. I was against the stairs and it locked me in with its eyes. I wanted to run or at least run up stairs, but I was like stone. Out of the fire behind it came one of the pokeballs Momma had thrown in. My muscles became relaxed and I could move again. The pokeball opened and Gengar was absorbed into it. It's eyes never left mine, though. Looking back I think I realize it was choosing to be with me. I hadn't chosen it. I hadn't caught it, it caught me.
The fireplace was still alive and had gotten out of control. Embers were popping out to the floor. I knew it before I saw it. The house was going up. There was nothing I could do for Momma. She was gone. I kicked up a floorboard near the front of the house. That was the emergency box. In case of a fire or emergency, make sure you grab that box, Momma always told me. She taught me that really early. It had all our money in it and a few other things. A picture of Daddy and Momma when the were real young.
Looking back at everything, I gotta say, it was pretty fucked up. Momma wasn't a bad lady. I think she was just afraid. She spent her whole life trying to protect me, even when it may not have been good for me. I thank her and I love her for that. But...and I'll burn in hell for this I'm sure. Watching Momma get the dream eater...in that moment, I wasn't too upset about it.
That was the second hardest time I walked that mile long dirt road. Yes, when I walked home crying cuz Rebecca left, that was the hardest. I actually liked Rebecca. I hated that house. Walking away from it was everything I wanted. Even though I only had that box, and nowhere to go, and my first pokemon, I didn't know what I was going to do. But I knew what I wanted to do. I wanted to find Rebecca.