Ready to fall
Light shined in through. I closed my eyes and deeply breathed in the sweet sent of dew upon roses in the new mourning hour. The sun bathed me. Warmed my body and mind. The Earth was alive, but I was not. I was anything but.
It had been two months since the accident. No one thought I would make it. And they were right. There had been too much unnoticed internal bleeding that the doctors couldn't fix. I died December 6 2009 at 7:45 p.m. all alone in a hospital bed. I wasn't alone because no one cared. I was alone because no one knew who I was.
I was nineteen when I died. There was a blizzard. The roads were slippery and driving a zillion miles to a interview was not a good idea. Casually I sang along with the car radio. Bopping my head along with Sweet Home Alabama. The windshield wipers swept back and forth. Back and forth. I couldn't see a dam thing outside. I guess that big old eighteen wheeler couldn't see me either.
When that semi flipped over on top of me you would've thought I'd died right then and there. But I didn't. I wasn't dead. But I wasn't alive either. I was in the mist of the angels. Everything was transparent. As if I were in between two worlds.
Light and darkness enveloped my world. Shadows of things I once thought gone long ago appeared before me. Gaz, Zim, Mom. All of them. Each and every one of my dead loved ones were now very much alive like myself.
A small smile found its way to my lips. I breathed deeply. Taking in the rushing waves of memories, I followed my loved ones in through heaven's golden gates. Right back into the arms of the angels. My savior, my light, my love.
Yes, I died on December 6, but I lived on December 6. I had found love and light once again. I didn't need a pulse to be alive. I needed love. And that love was in heaven, with my family.
Any living person on Earth would think my death was an accident. That I wasn't meant to die. But weather or not I was meant to die, it didn't matter. I was ready to die. My place wasn't on Earth. It was in the heavens above where my family was waiting for me.
I was ready to die.
I was ready to fall, right back where I belonged.
And thus, I did.