Denzel Crocker was pissed.
He'd gotten so close to catching Turner's Fairies. A hair's breadth away! If it hadn't been for his mother and those stupid overgrown toenails of hers, he would have had it! The toenail clipping wasn't even enjoyable, anyway. Who likes clipping their mother's toenails? Freaks, and Denzel Crocker was no freak!
"Dennn-zelll!" His mother came into his room - without knocking, as was the tradition - , smiling, and holding something. He didn't really care to see what she was holding, as it was likely what she was so enthusiastic about.
Just smile, and nod, Denzel. Smile…
A forced smile plastered itself on his lips as he fiddled with his Fairy-Catching Device. "What do you need, Mother?" May as well be polite. After kicking her out the door, things got rough between them. After all, she provided the roof over his head, so getting rough with her wasn't something he would like to do.
"Denzel! I got this beautiful lamp at a garage sale in the town over!" Her bright red lips curled up in a proud smile and she held it up for her son to see. "Isn't it the most beautiful shade of purple?"
A lamp from the seventies? He squinted at it. "Hmm…"
"And, since you're my son and I love you, I want to give it to you!" She urged it into his twitchy hands. "There! That should add some colour to this room!"
Without a word of goodbye, she rushed out the door, giving Crocker time to examine the lamp. "Hmm… gray base, purple blobs… wait a second!" His eyes grew wide under his thick glasses. "I know this lamp!"
He rubbed it excitedly. As he did so, a loud GONG was heard and Crocker fell back from the force of it. Smoke billowed from the light fixture, a silhouette forming in the violet mist, mighty and powerful and-
"Mahhh, what's goin' on?" He lifted curtains from his eyes and replaced them with his shades, still tired but easily figuring out what had just happened after a moment of confused silence. "Ahg, really, Crockpot? When I'm sleeping- hey hey, wait." He stared at the giddy hunchback for a moment. "Crockpot? Is that seriously you? Man, what are the odds of you getting a hold of my lamp agai-"
"I don't know what they are, but they're in my favour!" he cackled. He jumped up and hugged Norm as he did when they first met, his arms and legs wrapped around him tightly.
Norm smirked. "Let me guess. Still single, huh?"
"You bet!" He hopped off the Genie, smiling as though his bleak relationship status was something to be proud of. "Women are nothing compared to FAIRY GODPARENTS!" (Spazzy spazz spazz.) "And now, with your magic, I can try once again to capture Timmy Turn…" Crocker trailed, looking down.
Norm, looking at him expectantly, was puzzled by a missed spazzout opportunity. "Ehh…"
"Oh, Norm," he sighed, sounding rather sad. "I wouldn't do that to you. That's what drove you away last time." He looked back up at him. "At least, I wouldn't force you to. I can capture his -FAIRIES!- myself."
The Genie's black eyebrows scrunched together. "Wait, wait, what? Crockpot, you're not making any sense. I'm a Genie, remember?" He GONGed up a rather showy sign, as if to further jog the teacher's memory.
"Well, yes…" He admired the sign for a moment, then continued, "but, you're my friend, too, and-" He stopped. "Uh… we are friends, right?"
Norm stared at him. "I, uh…" It was an odd concept for him to think about. Why would a master want to be friends with their Genie? Crocker was desperate and lonely, yeah, but it still didn't make a lot of sense. "I guess, yeah."
"Excellent! Now, to devise a plan to capture Timmy Turner's FAIRY GODPARENTS!" After a rather odd spasm that should have been fatal, he went back to tweaking his machine, occasionally twitching.
Norm blinked appreciatively at him and GONGed back into his lamp to finish his nap. After he did so, Crocker took the purple light fixture from the floor and set it on his desk, smiling at it. Maybe today wasn't so bad after all.
•••
Upon waking up, Norm was surprised that he did so on his own accord. Much as he appreciated Crocker's thoughtfulness, it really threw him off; one got used to routine after fifty thousand years (the term "used to" not to be confused with "content with").
Unsure of what was to come next, he decided to GONG out of the lamp. It was evening now, and Crocker appeared to not have moved, as he was still working away at the strange-looking… thingy… he had built.
"Hey, Crockpot. What is that thing, anyway?" He floated down and rested his elbows on the desk, watching him work.
"What do you think it is? It's a device for catching FAIRY GODPARENTS!" The traditional spasm made Crocker land on his head with a loud THUD, making the Genie wince. Hopping up as though nothing happened, he continued, "I've been working on it for days." With that, he went back to tinkering the thing, muttering something under his breath.
"Can't ya just use a butterfly net or something?" he asked. "I mean, that's what I did." He crossed his arms proudly. "Worked pretty well, if I say so myself."
"Norm, Norm, Norm, you're overcomplicating things!" he told Norm with a grin. "Making a butterfly net would take weeks! This beauty," — he held up the machine with a bit of difficulty — "will take mere days! I call it… the Contraption!" Immediately after he finished the statement, it fell on him, making a short CRUNCH."GEH!"
Norm flinched instinctively at the sound and snapped his fingers, magicking the Contraption back on the desk. Looking Crocker over quickly, he could safely say that none of his bones were broken. It made him wonder what exactly had crunched. "You could just buy a net, ya kno—"
"Are you crazy? You can't just buy a Fairy-catching net!" He jumped up again without any regard for the pain he should be feeling, prompting thoughts about how the man might just be impervious to it. "I know more about this stuff than you do, Norm."
As he went back to the Contraption, Norm blinked, and decided to risk a suggestion. "Ya know, ya could just wish for one. All-powerful Genie, three rule-free wishes at the tips of your fingers…" He wiggled the mentioned body parts as if to demonstrate the power his master had.
"Oh, no." He faced Norm and crossed his arms, his expression surprisingly firm. "I'm not wishing for anything. Anything, you hear me?" He pointed at his companion, who was still rather puzzled by the whole situation, and took a step toward him. "I'm going after those -FAIRIES- by myself."
Norm executed a perfect facepalm and sighed, peeking at his master through his fingers. "Look, Crockpot, you're still not making any sense. I mean, I understand the whole not-wanting-to-drive-me-away thing, but…" He trailed, unsure of how to finish the sentence. "Yeah…"
"Well, Norm, after you disappeared, I did some thinking. Maybe I was too harsh on you. Maybe Mars would have worked! Turner's head, exploding from lack of oxygen…" He smiled fondly at the image. "And, after several more failed attempts, I realized something…"
"Den-zelll! Come help Mommy pick out a pair of socks!"
He grimaced as he began to trudge out of the room. "…I know what it's like to be ordered around too." With that statement hanging in the air, he headed out before anything else could be said, leaving Norm to float in stunned silence and stare at the closed door.