Title: A Sith's worst nightmare

Author: Lilya

Genre: Humor (hopefully)

Summary: Anakin Skywalker's afterlife in the Force won't be quite so peaceful. A series of vignettes, following my other story Song My Mother Taught Me

Main characters: Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi, OC

Rating: G

Disclaimer: Obi-Wan "Ben" Kenobi, Qui-Gon Jinn, Yoda, Leia Organa, Luke and Anakin Skywalker belong to George Lucas. Leena and her family are mine.

Author's note: 1) English is not my native tongue. If you find any mistake – which I'm sure you will – please correct me.

A SITH'S WORST NIGHTMARE

Part I.

4 Years After the Battle of Yavin

Passing into the Force had been, in a way, like coming back home after a long, long absence.

Anakin Skywalker watched his son flee the Death Star with pride and the celebrations start with a little guilt.

He watched – more dispassionately than he had thought possible – his own body go up in flames and somehow, flanked by his masters, managed to catch his son's gaze through the Force and smile wordlessly at him.

"Well then….It's over." he said as the connection faded.

"Apparently…" Yoda remarked, shrugging.

A polite little cough was heard behind them. Turning, the younger Jedi saw two other Force-Ghosts standing there. One he could recognize from his childhood: Master Qui-Gon Jinn, who looked younger then the last time he had seen him.

The other, was a little brown-haired, plain-faced woman he was sure he had never seen before, even if there was something familiar about her. She lacked the clear Jedi aura, yet she had found a way to linger somehow. How weird…

"You surely remember our common Master," Obi-Wan said as the two approached.

"I do." Anakin smiled. "Well met, Master Jinn."

"Well met, Anakin. I'm very glad to see you." He replied with a smile.

"Looks like you had company all these years." He winked. The other masters just shifted uncomfortably.

Obi-Wan coughed lightly, then spoke again, subtly steering him toward the woman. "Anakin, meet my mother, Leena. Mom, this is Anakin."

Without missing a beat, Anakin switched into "boyish charm mode" and grinned. "Nice to meet you, madam."

The woman did not smile. Quite the contrary, she looked upset, but also pleased.

In a cat-that-got-the-canary kind of way.

It made Anakin swallow hard. He was feeling vaguely unsettled and couldn't pinpoint the exact reason.

Until, that is, the part of his brain that actually worked got fed up with him, stood up and smacked him as hard as it could, replaying the keywords of the whole conversation.

Meet my mother, Leena.

Meet my mother

Meet my…mother

Obi-Wan's mother

'Oh, shit! I'm dead!'

His face lost all color as Anakin finally realized that now he was really in trouble. No sticky situation, no life-and-death circumstance he had found himself in during his whole life was going to compare.

Part of his mind noted that at least, since he was dead, there wasn't much she could do. The worse had already come to pass.

The other part pointed out that there were a lot of things worse than death it could think of – and he should know them quite well since he had practiced all of them. And time and extent of injury were not going to be an issue.

While he stared at her, the word "atonement" floated quite naturally to the surface of his mind. He had heard Obi-Wan use it, and also Palpatine. Now he really wished he had looked it up in a dictionary.

Leena grinned – an evil grin that would have made the galaxy tremble in fear better than any Sith legend ever managed.

Anakin tried to take a step back, but it was too late.

Eyes ablaze, hands on her hips, Leena took a deep breath. "Ok, you disgrace, now for what's probably the first time in your worthless life you will shut up and you will listen carefully"

She then proceeded to give Anakin Skywalker the Dressing Down of the Century.

Obi-Wan carefully examined his sabacc cards, then glanced at Yoda, who sat opposite of him.

Right before his former Padawan broke in cold sweat, Qui-Gon Jinn appeared, causing the players to look up.

He shook his head. "Mrs. Leena still isn't through with him."

"Poor Anakin…" Obi-Wan's eyes widened slightly. "Not that he doesn't deserve it or something, but still… Who would have thought that my mom could be so scary?" He asked the Force and the Universe at large for the nth time. Again, both entities wisely decided to remain silent.

"Got it all wrong, we did." Yoda said ruefully. "Enlisted both Force-sensitives and their mothers, we should have."

The other two Masters considered this carefully.

Somehow they couldn't shake out of their heads the vision of several women perched atop a barricade, shouting down things like, "I know you're out there, our Ron! This is your Nan! You climb up one more time and you'll feel the back of my hand! Our Rita sends her love and wants you to hurry home. Grandpa is feeling a lot better with the new ointment! Now stop being a silly boy!"1

Besides, imagine having to go to your mother and telling her you have turned.

If they were half as good at "tanning hides" as Obi-Wan's mother was…

"IF I HEAR 'THE DARK SIDE MADE ME DO IT' JUST ONE MORE TIME…" Leena bellowed somewhere behind them.

A terrified whimper followed.

The three Jedi were impressed: even the Dark Lord usually had to voice the threat to make it work.

"Do you think we should save him?" Qui-Gon said, stroking his beard.

Obi-Wan and Yoda exchanged glances, then looked pointedly at him.

"Naah."

1: Terry Pratchett, Night Watch. Page 356

I had this drabble - and a couple of others - sitting in my hard-disc for a while: while one of the others won't be quite as funny, I decided to start uploading this one since I had a bad day.

As I said in the summary, this is a sort of sequel for one of my Star Wars stories - Song My Mother Taught Me. More of a "what happened afterwards", really, since it's a different genre.

For those who have already read it, I hope you'll like this new installments

For thos who haven't read it and don't particularly wish to, here's a summary: Leena had to give up her force-sensitive secondborn, a child she had called Ben, to the Jedi Temple, but she never stopped thinking about him and loving him from afar. They never met during their lives, although a chance meeting with Master Jinn revealed her he was alive and happy. Order 66 hit her very hard and she died a few years later, but she managed not to fade in the force through sheer will and determination to find out what had happened to her child.
As you saw in this chapter, she wasn't impressed.

Humor is not one of my usual genres, so I'll be thankful for any suggestion.

Leave a review and let me know whether you liked it or hated it.

Thank you