Warning: Contains spoilers for 'Harleen' and 'Mad Empire'

The Joker: Health Ledger

Harley Quinn: Kristen Bell

Poison Ivy: Christina Hendricks

Joey Asaro: Vin Diesel

Sean Rider: Scott Grimes

I also appologize ahead of time for making anyone cry, I cried while writing it... (:

Enjoy!

"You alright, Sugar?" The Joker asked and Harley looked up from her plate of food where she had been pushing around a piece of scarcely consumed $75 filet mignon, "Somethin' wrong with your steak?"

She shook her head with a half-hearted grin and he returned his attention to his plate. Glancing around the large banquet hall, she placed her hands between her thighs and cringed when his knife scraped the bottom of his plate with a spine-spitting shriek. The silence could be unbearable in this huge old building and she often longed for the pitter patter sound of little feet while silly songs about the alphabet played on the television in the living area of the foyer. She was thirty-three and had been number two on the Gotham City Most Wanted List for four years now, but she still didn't see why she and her criminal boyfriend, who was number one, couldn't raise a tiny prodigy of their own. That is, other than the obvious complication his vasectomy presented, of course, but there was always 'adoption'; meaning they would obtain a child through a less than legal or socially desirable means. 'Kidnapping' was the word used most commonly. It was a sensitive topic, however, and after many a heated debate, she had painfully resigned to the idea that she would never be a mother.

"Harley," he addressed her again, interrupting her sorrowful mental process. She looked at him and he winked at her, wiping his mouth with the expensive dinner napkin, "What's cookin' good lookin'?"

She sighed and placed a palm to her head, "I think I'm getting sick", she fibbed, "Maybe I'll go see Ivy today and see if she has anything I can take for it."

He leaned back in his seat and belched low in his chest, "Alight, Joey's off today, so get Sean to take you. How long you gonna be gone?"

"Miss me when I'm gone?", she teased with a smile.

He reached across the table to fake-punch her jaw gently, "Something like that."

She rose from her seat and walked around to kiss him on the head, "Mkay, I'll be back in a few hours, Puddin'", she started for the door into the foyer and called back to him, "You can have the rest of my steak, if you want it."

"Ugh, I'm full as a dog tick on a fat hound", he moaned, staring down at the red meat. After a few moments he sighed and pulled the plate in front of him, picking up the fork, "You win this round, you cheeky little fucker."

As the black Cadillac pulled onto the abandoned lot of Ivy's massive greenhouse, Harley could see her redheaded friend walking from her front door in the direction of her bicycle, pausing to wave with a smile as the vehicle approached. Her fiery hair was concealed beneath a green scarf and she wore a pair of large white sunglasses. Harley thought she resembled a much more voluptuous version of Audrey Hepburn in her white two-piece pant suit. She walked the back passenger-side door and leaned into the open window.

"Well hello there, stranger. Wait, don't I know you?" she teased with a smile.

"Where you headed, Red?", Harley giggled internally at her own corny joke.

Ivy smirked, "The nursery."

Harley's smile faded slightly. She had sought solace at her friend's house in order to distract her busy mind from her troubles, but they seemed to be following close behind her today, nipping sharply at her custom leather boot covered heels.

Her friend lowered her sunglasses, revealing the concerned and nurturing emerald eyes beneath, "What's wrong, Sweetie?"

The blonde shook her head slightly and feigned a smile, "Nothing, hop in!", her eco-terrorist friend grumbled, "Oh come on, Pammy, it's carpooling! We're still saving the Earth, ya know."

Ivy grinned with a roll of her bright eyes and replaced her shades, pulling the car door open to slide inside next to Harley.

"That's a pretty suit", she mentioned to her, "Did Louis make you that?"

"Yeah, it's one of my 'plain' ones, you know, to avoid attracting too much unwanted attention in public."

The material was a single shade of deep crimson, rather than her usual red and black theme with the embroidered diamonds, but the general pattern was the same; a white button up blouse with short ruffled sleeves covered by a feminine vest and tucked into a pair of expertly sewn slacks. Although both women were dressed incognito, they would need to be constantly wary of their surroundings in order to avoid being spotted. It normally wasn't an issue, the people of Gotham were typically too consumed with their own pathetic existences to notice a pair of cleverly costumed criminals in their midst. Harley hadn't planned on being in public, but she kept a black fedora and pair of shades in the front passenger seat of the Cadillac for just this kind of situation.

"Sean, can you hand me my things, please?" she called to the driver who obliged with a smile.

The street next to the plant nursery was thick with heavy traffic and wandering consumers, mingling and glistening with a thin layer of sweat in the heat of the morning sun. It would be bedtime for the women soon, but Harley felt that a few leisurely errands would be just what she needed to clear her mind. Sean parallel parked the black car into a lucky spot just in front of the vending lot and waited patiently in the cool air conditioning, reading a news paper as the women ambled amongst the greenery. After a few minutes of cruising the tables overflowing with potted plants, the two friends became separated and distracted in their own exploration within the large clear tent. Harley was just beginning to feel light-hearted again when she happened to glance up arbitrarily and notice a tiny blonde girl in a white dress wandering precariously close to the busy street full of bustling cars on the opposite side of the road. She scanned the sidewalk quickly, hoping to find her mother who would be dashing to the scene to rescue her child, but no one came. Time seemed to slow to a crawl as she watched the girl take another step toward the traffic and her breath caught in her throat. The child took another brave step, and before she knew what was happening, Harley was sprinting in her direction completely oblivious to the oncoming vehicles who were screeching their tires and honking their horns.

A large Ford pickup truck was speeding down the same lane of traffic in which the girl was now standing, frozen in fear. She was too small for the driver to see, and just seconds before he reached her point in the road, a short blond woman in a dark red suit dashed quickly in front of his bumper, snatching a small child up from the pavement. He slammed his foot onto the brake and laid on the horn with his heart suddenly pounding in his ears, but by absolute miracle, they had dipped just behind a parked car in the street at the exact moment his vehicle went skidding by on its locked tires. Unfortunately, the three cars behind him had not had time enough to react and there was a loud commotion of screaming angry drivers and pointing on-lookers after the cars slammed into one another in the street.

Harley was panting hard as she stared at the scene in wide-eyed disbelieve, she had almost killed herself. Becoming suddenly aware of the small pair of arms which clung tightly around her neck, she turned her head slowly to meet the gaze of a pair of enormous, beautiful, brown eyes. The child was not crying, she only stared back into Harley's blue eyes as the tiny fingers of one hand began to twirl softly within her long blonde hair.

"Excuse me, uh, Princess!" Ivy called from across the street, holding a pair of potted plants, "I don't think it would be in our best interest to linger, it might attract the paparazzi!"

She disappeared into the Cadillac and Harley quickly checked the street before dashing across and sliding in next her to her friend.

"What is that?" she heard Ivy ask her while Sean pulled the car from the curb.

The blonde was remained in shock from the recent events and had neglected to notice that she still carried the little girl in her arms.

"Oh", she responded, "I-she was going to get hit-I couldn't just let her-um."

"Harley, you have to put it outside. You can't keep it."

"She's a little girl, Red, not an 'it'."

"Whatever, you still can't keep her. She doesn't belong to you and you know how your boyfriend feels about raising children."

The girl laid her head onto Harley's shoulder and her heart skipped a beat, "I can't just leave her outside the car. Her so-called mother didn't even notice she was wandering into the street, I doubt she has even realized she's missing."

Ivy sighed and her stern face relaxed into one of sincere sympathy, "Harley, Honey, I know you've wanted a child of your own for some time now, but you cannot afford to view this unfortunate coincidence as some kind of divine sign. You have to give her back."

"Give her back to whom?", she almost shouted with impatience, "I tell you what, if you can point out her sorry excuse for a mother to me, I'll gladly hand her over. "

The child whined at the sound of her rising volume and Harley quickly rubbed her back with a soothing palm, "No, no, shhh, it's okay. I didn't mean to yell."

Her friend tilted her head and observed her seemingly innate maternal tendencies with the child that did not even share her own DNA. A small smile spread across her face and she released another sigh, shaking her head.

"How old do you think it, uh, she is?", she asked.

Neither of them had shared even so much as a table at dinner with any child younger than about fifteen, so it was difficult to tell, but Harley imagined she must not be much older than two. Her fine strands were a pale blonde color, much the same as Harley's, and her large brown eyes were dark and knowing, much like The Joker's. A small headband rested atop her fair crown and her white dress bore a few yellow and pink smudges of what looked like unsuccessfully washed finger paint. As Harley scanned her features, the girl stared back up at her with an expressionless gaze, but her dark eyes soon lit up as her pink cherub-like cheeks lifted into an adoring smile.

"Would you like me to drop you back at your place, Ms. Ivy?" Sean asked from the front seat as he drove.

"No", Ivy answered, "I have a feeling I'll need to provide my witness testimonial to a royally perturbed Clown Prince."