Chapter 1
New York City
May 13th, 1988
"Texas?" I asked in disbelief; "We're moving to Texas?" I stood in our cramped kitchen leaning against the counter. My mother poured herself a cup of coffee calmly while my brother and I took in the new information, freaking out on the inside.
"Where in Texas mom?" my twin brother, Kevin asked excitedly.
"No! Kevin you can't be happy about this!"
"We're moving to Odessa, Texas" she answered calmly then took a sip of her coffee; "It will be great"
"When do we leave?" Kevin asked; "We have to make sure we're there in time for football try outs. They have to let me on the team because I play up here right?"
"I don't think it's that easy" I replied under my breath.
"The lease here runs out July first" my mom replied looking at the calendar.
"Great. Not only are we moving to the middle of nowhere but we're moving south in the middle of summer!" I said and walked into the equally cramped living room and slouched on the couch; "How could you do this to us right before senior year?" I yelled over my shoulder into the kitchen.
"I don't have a choice. Come on, it won't be that bad" my mom said walking out of the kitchen with Kevin behind her.
"Yeah, I'll get on the football team and you can cheerlead" Kevin teased.
"Fuck that"
"Kelly. Don't swear"
"Sorry mom. It's just that people from New York City don't just pick up and move to Texas!"
"Mom is from Texas, you know that" Kevin said shaking his head.
"She hasn't lived in Texas since she was three that doesn't count"
"If you two can't respect the decision that I made than you can be grounded the whole summer and study for your SAT's"
"That's not fair!" Kevin yelled; "She's the one who's mad, she's just trying to tell you how much she hates the idea!"
"He's right. I do hate the idea" I replied with a condescending smile on my face
"Whatever" Kevin said shaking his head; "I'm going out, I'll be back" he grabbed his house keys off the wall then walked out of the apartment slamming the door behind him.
My mother sat down next to me on the couch; "Why don't you want to move?" she asked, acting like she really didn't know the answer.
"I was born and raised here. My friends are here, our family is here -"
"Our family isn't here, just…just your father's"
"So that's why you want to move? To get away from dad's family?"
"No, I just want to be closer to mine. You kids are going to graduate soon and move out on your own and I want to be closer to home when that happens"
"Then why don't we move after we graduate? It's only one more year"
"I told you, the lease runs out, besides I already found a house. It's close to Aunt Jackie"
I glared at my mother, she had sparked my interest; "So I'll be able to hang out with Nicole? Does she go to same school as me?"
"Yes! Permian High School! She can't wait to see you!"
"Well that's the one and only plus to this move. I guess" Nicole is my cousin, she's the same age as me but I have only met her once in my life. Last year when my dad died they came up to help us when we moved into this apartment. Before her trip to The Big Apple, she'd never been out of Texas - even though it was all she ever talked about. She's just like me, loves the fast pace of the city, loves meeting new people, going on adventures, and having life changing experiences. Nicole and I are really close now and talk on the phone constantly, she talks about New York City all the time and how she wants to come back here one day; "I just think your being really selfish mom"
"I'm sorry Kelly" she said looking at the ground; "I just thought this was the best choice for us, financially"
"Well the last time I checked Odessa Texas wasn't exactly thriving financially either"
"I got a good deal on the house"
"How?"
"It's your aunt's house from her first marriage that she has been renting out the past seven years. The couple that was renting it moved to Dallas so I said I'd take it off her hands"
"Just like that?" my mom nodded her head; "It's really that easy to just take a house off someone's hands? Do we have money for this?"
"Well it will be tight for a while once we first get down ther but, we'll survive"
"Yeah, if I don't get bit by a rattlesnake first and die with antivenom" I said sarcastically, remembering all the stories I would hear from Nicole about guys in her classes bragging about rattlesnake hunting in school on Monday mornings; "I can't believe this" The tension was so thick in the room you could cut it with a knife and minutes of awkward silence passed; "Just so you know the day I turn eighteen I'll be back up here, I still want to go to college in the city" I said getting up off the couch.
"I know that"
"Just tell me one thing mom, you didn't do this just because of Kevin right"
"What do you mean?"
"Kevin is captain of the football team and he's going to be in heaven if he gets on the team. I don't know what the world will come to if he doesn't though"
"He'll make it" she said, sounding as if she could see into the future and knew without a doubt Kevin would make it. I don't think she know how hard and competitive high school football was in Texas; "We just need to find something for you to do down there"
"Oh I'll be fine! Nicole tells me kids drink freely all the time down there! Trust me, I'll be alright"
"Kelly!"
"Sorry mom" My mother has been letting me drink since I was fourteen. I'm not an alcoholic by any means but letting me drink champagne on the holidays and a case of beer in the safety of my own house at parties was normal and fine in the eyes of my mother - she just didn't like when I talked or bragged about it; "I'm gonna go out and break the news to my friends then"
"Okay" she said looking at the clock; "Be back by midnight please"
"I'll try" I said grabbing my black messenger back and NYU hooded sweatshirt before heading for the door; "Don't wait up"
"I love you Kelly"
I opened the front door then turned around and looked back at my mother; "I love you too mom. Listen, I'm okay with the idea of going to Texas, really I am. I'm just not excited to go to high school there"
* * *
When my father died last September we had to move from our upper east side Manhattan apartment to a basement two bedroom apartment in Queens. It was a big adjustment going from everyone having their own room and their own space to Kevin sleeping in the living room and not having enough room for a dining room table. We have money to get by, but my mother inherited my fathers' debt when he died, credit card and car payments on top of rent puts a damper on any "extras" we want. Life is good, we get along great and love each other very much but everyone needs an escape once in a while.
I walked a few blocks to my friend Riana's apartment building. She lives with her father on the seventh floor and I love going to her apartment, mainly because it was above ground. I made my way inside the building when someone let me in on their way out; "Who is it?" her father asked after I knocked.
"It's Kelly"
He opened the door and smiled warmly; "Kelly how are you? Come in"
"Thanks Mr. Mathews" I said walking in; "Is Riana home?"
"Yes, she's on the phone I believe"
I nodded; "Is she allowed to go out tonight?"
"That's fine. I have a lot of work I had to bring home from the office tonight, I won't miss her a bit" he said with a chuckle; "Well maybe a little..."
"I understand. We shouldn't be out long, probably just grab a bite to eat"
"Are you alright? You look a little down"
"Well my mom just told me we're moving"
"Moving? Really? Anywhere close?"
"We're moving to Texas"
"Texas? Why in the world would you want to move to Texas?"
"Well, I don't. She does" I explained; "My mother was born there and she wants to go back before Kevin and I graduate high school"
"I see"
"Hey Kelly!" Riana said coming out of her bedroom a few moments later.
"Hey Riana!" I said smiling at her; "You wanna go get some food?"
"Is it alright Dad?" she asked looking at her father. Since it was just the two of them she was a major daddy's girl and rarely got into trouble. How she became such a good friend of mine I'll never know.
"It's fine honey" he said handing her a couple dollars; "Have a good time"
Riana changed clothes quickly and grabbed a jacket, then we left her building; "The crew is meeting us at Romo's pizza place. I stopped at the pay phone on the corner and called Bobby before I came to your place, told him to get everyone together"
"Sounds good" she said putting her sweater on over her tank top.
"So…guess what?"
"What?"
"I'm moving"
"Moving? Back to Manhattan?"
"Texas"
"Texas? Texas the state?"
I laughed; "Yeah Texas the state"
"Why?"
"My mother wants to be closer to her family since my dad died"
"She can't wait until we graduate?"
"That's what I said, but the lease runs out July first"
"That's horrible" she said with a pained look on her face. I've known Riana since eight grade and we've hung out literally every weekend since then. She looked like she was about to cry.
"Don't worry about it" I said putting my arm around her; "I'll buy you a drink and you'll forget about it"
"That's your solution to everything, ever since you got that fake I.D."
I glared at her; "You love it, be quiet"
When we got to Romo's our group of friends were waiting for us outside. "What up Kelly" Bobby said giving me a hug. I met each of my friends through school over the years and we all come from the same kind of family, one where we've lost a parent from either death or divorce. We're all trouble makers and rebellious (except Riana) and we all love to have fun.
"Nothing much kid" I said hugging Bobby; "You guys wanna pick up a pie and split it at the park?" We ordered a pepperoni pizza pie to go and carried it a few blocks to a park. We sat at a picnic table and started to eat; "So guys" I said taking a bite; "I got something to tell you"
"Your pregnant?" My friend Lisa asked raising an eyebrow at me.
"Your gay?" My other friend Greg suggested.
"No, and no" I answered; "Worse"
All my friends looked at each other; "Dead?" Bobby asked laughing.
"Well I might as well be. I'm moving"
"That's not so bad" Lisa said; "What school are you going to?"
"Permian High School"
"Is that in Manhattan?" My friend Zac asked taking a sip of soda.
"I think it's in The Bronx" My other friend Scott added.
"It's in Texas" Riana answered for me. Everyone stopped eating and stared at me.
"Texas?" Greg asked, breaking the silence; "Seriously?"
I nodded my head; "I'm leaving next month"
"Why?" Lisa asked; "Is your mom on drugs?"
"She might as well be! She wants to be closer to her family, and our lease runs out"
"You can move into my house" Zac suggested with a smile; "My parents won't care"
I laughed; "I have to go with tehm"
"Aren't all the football players idolized like they are Gods down there?" Greg asked.
"Yep" I said rolling my eyes; "My cousin told me that they spend more money on football equipment then school supplies for their english classes"
"And how much did Nicole say they spent on the stadium down there?" Riana asked, remembering the conversations the three of us used to have about the difference between New York and Texas.
"Like six million"
"Six million?" Greg asked in shock; "For a stadium?"
"Yep, seats like twenty thousand, it's two stories tall and even has a press box"
"That's dumb. It's just a sport" Lisa said taking another bite of pizza
"Tell me about it" I agreed; "I still think she's doing it just for Kevin and his rich NFL dreams"
Riana laughed; "Are you going to come back after graduation?"
"Defiantly. Nothing is stopping me from NYU"
"Well, there's only one thing we can do" Zac said holding up his cup; "To summer! We're gonna have a good one!" he said smiling.
A kick ass summer is defiantly what my friends and I had together. We stayed up late, snuck out of our houses, went to concerts, scared tourist, and spent many a late night having deep, insightful conversations over a bottle of Jack Daniels.
Zac and I, who have known each other since we were toddlers, had a fling later that summer. We've always been close in "that way" and we've fooled around with each other since we were teenagers but the night before I moved to Texas we lost out virginities to each other.
The next morning he woke up at four a.m. and walked five blocks to see me off; "I'm gonna miss you Kelly" he said as we stood on the sidewalk in front of our apartment building.
"I'm gonna miss you too" I said holding him tighter.
"You know I love you"
"Forever Zac, forever" I took a step back and looked at him; "I'm really trying not to cry" I said letting out a laugh.
"It's okay to cry"
My mother and Kevin walked past us and got into the U-Haul; "Kelly, we have to get a move on if we want to beat the traffic" my mother said out the driver side window.
I nodded my head and looked back over at Zac. He looked like a lost puppy. We've been side by side for so many years and have shared so many experiences together. I helped him through his parents divorce and he was in the hospital with me the night my father died; "I guess I'll...see you later"
"Okay" he said giving me one last hug.
"I'll write" I whispered, not wanting to let go of him.
He squeezed me into a tighter hug; "I'll write back"