A/N: I'm playing fast and loose with Canon, Season 1 and Season 2 up until New Year's happened, but certain things from before New Year's didn't, because I'm attached to the couples from Matters of the Heart, which means that while in this story Maya and Lucas aren't siblings, Maya's mother also didn't marry Shawn. (Because Shawngela is still one of my favorite couples, and I will go down with that ship)

As per usual, the first chapter is background to the story, because I can't physically rewrite all of the show without this becoming a 500,000-word monster.

Also, while I do live in NYC, I made Hamilton High up, mainly because there's three Hamilton High Schools in the city, but this one is only made up because I wanted to have a school that I didn't have to remember where it was. There's a lot of schools in this city, and I didn't want to have to pick one, so I made it up, and named it after Alexander Hamilton.

Lastly, while all of the other couples will show up from time to time in the story, this is 100% Rucas centric which means that the focus will be on them, sorry, but it's how I want to write this, also it's a secret relationship AU. So there's going to be a lot of running and hiding on their part, and I'm planning for this to be a secret for a long time in the story so be prepared.

This is partly based on the Backstreet Boys Song Chances and my Rucas Fanfic Week Day Five Fic Love among the Stars

Chapter One - What if I'd never run into you? What if you'd never smiled at me?

Riley sat at the bay window, it was the end of winter break, the last semester of senior year of high school was starting in a few days, and she couldn't help but think back to the last time she had been a senior. To the last time she had seen a boy with green eyes, who smiled at her like she held everything in the world just for him. It had been three years since, and while she wished that they had all stayed in contact, it was strange that she hadn't heard from Lucas since they graduated middle school. Zay was still in New York, he went to school with Riley and had become one of her closest friends, along with Maya, Farkle and Smackle. After the few dates she had had with Charlie they were good friends as well, Charlie realizing that Middle School had been too soon to have too much drama around them. They all needed to grow up a little more, and learn from one another, not get involved in love triangles and miss the opportunity to be friends with one another.

Yet, at the beginning of the school year, every year since that fateful day on the subway, Riley couldn't help but remember falling into Lucas's lap. To that day on the roof where her true feelings had been revealed. Only for Lucas to leave New York soon after, because his Pappy Joe had had a heart attack, and his parents went down to Texas to help the man run the ranch, Lucas going along with them. The feelings between her, him, and Maya never resolved. Well at least until that summer when Riley's Uncle Josh, moved to the city, and into her apartment, along with the rest of them. It was cheaper than having him live in the dorms, and would keep the financial burden off of her grandparents. With Josh living so close, and Maya being there almost every day, the blonde had figured out that her feelings for Lucas hadn't been real at all.

"What were they then?" Riley had asked while they had sat on the bay window in her room, thinking of all of the pain that she had gone through, and the fact that she hadn't had the chance to talk to Lucas about it afterwards.

"I don't know, I think in some way, I was afraid of whatever I have with Josh, and I sort of latched onto the idea of being with who the class had wanted me to be with," Maya said shrugging her shoulders. "I think I had been too, I don't know, vulnerable or something."

They had argued that day, and hadn't talked to each other for a week afterwards, the tension had built over time, Riley had been angry with her best friend. Too much had been lost because of what had happened that neither one had spoken to Lucas since he left because they were afraid that he would have picked the other one and broken their friendship. Josh and Maya hadn't started dating until Junior year, the tension between them boiling over into a fight that ended with Josh kissing Maya. Riley had rolled her eyes at them before walking away and thinking about what could have been with Lucas.

She had dated in the three years since he had left, she made new friends, and she was on the cheerleading team, she had been captain until she stepped down at the end of the first semester because she had wanted to have a little free time to save up for college, by working at the café. The dates never really went anywhere, because while she tried, for some reason she didn't click with any of the guys. Charlie had said that she should just have fun, and would sometimes take her out to a club that let teens in, or to the diner Maya's mom used to work at. Zay and Maya had also dragged her off to places, both of them trying to help her get out of her funk, because she had been on several dates, but none of them lasted past the third, one barely made it to the end of the first date after he had tried to get his hand under her shirt. She broke his nose when he hadn't taken no for an answer, and then tried to report her to the cops, but there had been too many witnesses so it hadn't gotten too far.

It was weird thinking back to how so much had changed in the years since middle school, how she had changed as well. Maya's mom didn't marry Shawn, the relationship didn't go anywhere, and after a fateful meeting with Angela, after he had hung out with Riley's father, they got into a relationship like they hadn't been apart for years. It had also turned out, that Angela had been keeping a secret for a few years, she had been living in Texas with a man, who she had married and had a son with, except the son wasn't his to begin with. As it turned out, Angela's son was Zay, and his father hadn't been who he had thought it had been. Angela had moved to New York after the divorce had gone through, taking her teenage son with her, only to find herself with friends once again, and the biological father of son right in front of her. Shawn and Angela fought about it, but in the end, for the last three years, the three of them had been a happy, yet sometimes dysfunctional family.

"It's so weird," Zay had said to her after they had all had dinner, he had been sitting on the bay window, while the rest of them sat around him. "My whole life was a lie until now, but I don't know, I guess its nice, mom's happy with Shawn, my dad not Shawn but the guy who had raised me... well he had been a real bastard to her. It took me a long time just to convince her to leave him."

She remembered the sad look on Maya after the relationship between her mother and Shawn had all but crumbled. Maya who had hoped against it all to find someone to be a father to her, someone to give her a relationship like the one Riley had with her own father. Riley had told her that everything would be better with time, and her mother would find someone who would love her like she was the sun. So, Riley's parents had set up Maya's mom on a few dates, before finding herself in front of someone she had once known, before she had met Maya's father. In the end it had turned out that Maya's mom had once had a thing with Jonathan Turner, the now superintendent of schools in New York, it had been a fling right when she had first arrived in the city, it had been one of those summer romances that stuck around in her mind for years. It had also been a secret that Katy Hart had kept from the world, as it turned out, Maya was in for a surprise as big as Zay's. Her mother had kept the truth about her biological father to herself, because at the end of that summer, she let go of him thinking that it was the best, because he shouldn't be stuck with a nobody like her. So, Maya's mother met Kermit Hart and eloped with him when she had told him a little lie, about the baby in her stomach.

"I don't know what to think," Maya said as she paced the café after hearing about all of this, they had taken a DNA test that afternoon, and the result would be sent to them when they were ready. "I don't know what to think, my mother lied to me, and all I can think about is how all of these years when she had been avoiding certain topics, she had been lying to me about my father."

"But in a way, this could be a good thing, she loves him, like really loves him in the same way my parents love each other, in how Shawn and Angela love each other, yes, I guess she had been afraid, he had been pretty high up in his career by then, and yes she shouldn't have lied to you, but Maya, be happy that they found each other again," she had told her best friend, this had been a part of the fight that had finally pushed Maya and Josh towards each other. Maya had been afraid about a lot of things, especially losing herself in the same way her mother had lost herself.

All of the adults had been finding their happy endings, even Maya who had been afraid of being in a relationship with Josh that she had let everyone's opinions about who she should be with lead her towards Lucas had found her happy middle, because Josh and Maya's happy ending was still far away from where they were, hell they were still kids. So, Maya learning that her father wasn't really her father had changed a lot for the blonde, all of it for the better. It had taken her exactly two months after her mother and Jon had started dating again, before she had called him dad. Now eighteen months later, it's as if they had never been separated from each other, their little family growing, as Maya's mother had a baby not long after the two had gotten married. Maya's brother was named George Eric Turner, because of a joke that had gone on for years between Mr. Feeny and Riley's Uncle Eric.

Charlie had been the biggest surprise for Riley, mainly because she had found a friend in a person that she had had a chance with, but in the end had broken his heart. As time went by, she had learned that there was more to Charlie Gardner than what she had seen in middle school. He was her friend, and they confided in one another with almost everything, even when Maya called him names, or when her father told them to date, because to her dad Charlie was a safe bet compared to Lucas, at least in his eyes. Instead she learned about his family, his hopes and dreams, and after a while his crushes on people, which were sometimes just in passing. She helped him get dates, because even though he had been bold about asking someone out in middle school, Charlie had become self-conscience about it in high school. Rejection as public as the one Riley had given him had made him scared to go after anyone else.

Then there was Farkle and Smackle, who had ended up graduating from high school during sophmore year, both of them ended up going to school at Princeton and were graduating this spring. Riley always smiled when they came back to the city, the two of them raving about some experiment they were working on, or some random thing they had learned. They didn't get to go to parties at the university, mainly because they were young, so during breaks and holidays they would go with Riley and Charlie, or whoever was available and they would go to parties or just hang out like the two geniuses weren't in college already. They were as close as ever, and Riley was sure that when they were finished with school and well on their way to taking over the world, that the two would get married.

Through all of this, no one had heard from Lucas, when Riley had asked Zay, he had told her that for some reason he hadn't heard from his friend in a long time. It was strange to her that someone who had had such an impact on her life, would vanish completely. Maya had told her that maybe it hadn't been meant to be, that maybe he was only supposed to have been in her life for that short amount of time and that was it. But after seeing how destiny had brought together all of the couples around her, after so many ups and downs, she realized that all she had to do was to wait for that moment, hoping that it would happen.

Lucas had found himself standing in JFK, just before New Year's wondering why this was his life, the constant uprooting by his parents whenever something happened. Luckily Pappy Joe had recovered after his heart attack, but he had to have open heart surgery to fix the damage. Lucas's father travelled all of the time, his mother wasn't the kind of person who would be able to do the work needed, she could only work the books for the ranch, which left Lucas working on the ranch, while being home schooled, so that his Pappy's ranch wasn't falling apart. He had worked hard for four years, but in the back of his mind what had happened before he left had made him wonder about his friends.

He hadn't meant to stop talking to them, it had just happened, he had been too busy, too scared about everything that had been happening, that he couldn't bring himself to confide in anyone. His mother made sure that he connected with other kids his age, and when he his Pappy had recovered, Lucas had gone to the local school and played on the football team, even dated around, but no one would compare to Riley in his mind and he knew that he should let that childhood crush go. She had been his first kiss, his first real romance, but after what had happened before he left, he wasn't sure if she had felt the same way.

Working summers on the ranch, playing football, and studying had been the only things he concentrated on, he didn't care about romance or anything like that. Only going to dances because it was required, especially when his classmates kept nominating him for court, he had only won once, during homecoming at the beginning of senior year. The homecoming queen had hit on him and suggested that they go to a hotel after the dance, her boyfriend hadn't been happy about it and Lucas just ignored them both and had gone home right after. He always thought about Riley during days like those, wondering if she still liked being a princess who would save the world, if she had danced with anyone recently, laughing at how far apart they had been the first time they had danced with one another.

It was a surprise to him when his parents had said that they were moving back to New York, in December, and that he would have to transfer to one of the local schools. His father had been offered a huge contract and he wasn't going to give it up. Lucas had seen it as an opportunity to get away from his meddling classmates, even though he was sad to leave Pappy Joe in Texas, but the older man had told him to work hard and when he finished school, he could help him run the ranch.

"Also find your girl, and talk to her," he said to Lucas. His girl could very well be with someone else completely, it was just a childhood crush, nothing more. "Lucas, I met your grandmother when we were just kids, and I looked at her the same way you had looked at that girl, what happened here that weekend wasn't worth the heartache, but if you can find your way back, do it."

So, that's how he found himself standing in an airport, in a city, that he hadn't been in for nearly four years, wondering if destiny was messing with him. Or if his parents were just moving around because they had too. They ended up living on the upper east side, which was far away from the Greenwich Village apartment they had had when they had lived in the city when he was in middle school. His school was nowhere near where his middle school had been, the chances of seeing Riley or any of his old friends weren't very high unless he went looking for them. Instead he decided to let destiny do the work, if it was meant to be, then they would meet again. It was silly to think that way, but it was his only hope in a city as big as New York.

He spent the week unpacking his things, and painting his room, on New Year's Eve his parents had gone out to a party, and had encouraged him to go to one as well, giving him a ticket to a countdown party that was happening in a club that was for the sixteen and up crowd. His mother was worried about him not going out, she knew that Zay still lived in the city, she knew that he had friends there, but after being in Texas for so long, after everything that had happened, she worried that he had pulled back from being a normal kid. He wanted to leave it, to forget about spending the day anywhere else, but as the time slowly came up, he decided to have a little fun and reacquaint himself with the city he had once lived in.

The club was loud, the moment he walked in he hated it, he couldn't figure out what the appeal was, but he knew that it was because he was alone and no one he knew was around. He hadn't realized just how lonely it was, that he hadn't spoken to anyone in the last four years, until that moment, and he regretted leaving his house and going anywhere. Then he saw her, dancing to the music, no one around, though some guys tried to get close but she pushed them away. She was alone, which meant that either she was waiting for someone, or like him, she had just decided to go alone. He felt himself being drawn to her, just like those first days in middle school where one smile was all it took to hook him. She had turned around as the music changed, smiling at him, and he felt like the world had righted itself.

She stopped dancing to the music, and looked at him as if she had seen a ghost of someone she used to know. The lights in the room playing with how they looked, he was sure that he was imagining her standing there, and was sure that she was thinking the same thing. Like magnets, they felt themselves being drawn to one another. The moment they were next to each other he reached out to her, but pulled back not sure if he should touch her without her permission, only to be surprised when Riley put her arms around his neck and pulled him in for a hug.

"I hope this is real," she said in his ear, as he put his arms around her waist. "I really hope this is real."

"I hope so too," he said to her finding himself swaying with the music.

She had grown a little taller since he last saw her, her hair was shorted, just under her shoulders, but she still had the same beautiful brown eyes, and a smile that went straight to his heart.

"You look different," she said pulling away, he had to struggle to hear her over the loud music. He knew he looked different, they hadn't seen each other in four years, he grew a little too, and put on more muscle from working, and from playing football.

They had been swaying to the music without thinking about it, like it's the most natural thing in the world. "That's what happens when you work on a ranch for four years," he said with a smile. "You look a little different too, but I knew that smile anywhere."

He saw her blush and he wanted to keep that look in his memory for the rest of his life, "Yeah well I had to grow up, a lot has happened," she said though the tears in her eyes made him want to kick himself. "Why did you stop talking to me? Why didn't you call Lucas?" he could see the pain in her eyes as she slowly hit him.

There was no easy answer to any of it, no answer to the feelings he had had all those years ago, "Let's go somewhere quiet and talk about it," he motioned for the door, he hadn't really wanted to go to a party, the reminder of the last New Year's party still fresh in his mind.

She nodded at him, and pulled him towards where the coat check, neither one of them said a word, as they walked through the packed club. He didn't know who she was here with, she probably didn't know that he had come by himself, the whole meeting was a random occurrence. He hadn't shown up there because he knew she would be there, he had gone because his mother had wanted him to have some fun. They dressed quietly, Riley texting on her phone as they walked out, she was probably telling who she was supposed to meet that she had to leave.

They walked off onto the cold New York street, not saying a word to the other as they walked away from the sounds of the music from the club, away from the place they had seen each other for the first time in four years. A chance meeting, a one in a million chance on the first day since he arrived, that he had gone out and done something other than mope about having to move before graduating. His college applications had already been sent, the address had been the New York address when he had done them because they were moving, but there was no way that him seeing Riley at some random club in the city would have happened. If not for fate.

They didn't talk, they just walked down the street, no destination in sight, just the two of them together, it was strange that after all of this time he still had the urge to reach out and take her hand, to just be near her. It was something that he had wanted to do all of the time in Middle School, even when they awkwardly did it after their first date, she hadn't known just how happy it had made him. They talked about everything, small things like their favorite sports teams, or the big talks like that night in the library, but in that moment, he couldn't figure out what to say to her, what to tell her to make everything seem better than it had been. So, they walked, through crowds of people getting ready to celebrate a new year, the packed streets of Manhattan making it impossible for him to not reach out and hold onto her. His heart threatening to explode if he didn't do something, or say something, but it was just an awkward silence on the loudest night of the year.

When she had seen him, she thought that it was just her mind playing tricks on her, that she had wished for him to be there so much that he had shown up without another word. He looked different, and the yet the same and it was strange to think about him like anything other than that boy she had met in Middle School so long ago. So of course, when he had walked up to her, and her brain telling her that it wasn't real, she grabbed onto him and didn't want to let go. The thought that she had latched onto some random stranger because he had looked like Lucas hadn't even crossed her mind. In the end it had been Lucas all along, almost like her dreams had manifested into reality and she was given a second chance at something she hadn't thought was possible.

Now they were walking down the street passing what felt like a million people trying to push them into the crowd of onlookers who were waiting for the ball to drop. The problem was that she had to stop herself from reaching out to him, she wanted to be angry at him, she wanted some form of control over her life where she wasn't drawn into those familiar green eyes. She wanted to be angry with him, she wanted to yell and scream and ask why he had just dropped out of their lives without talking to them before it happened. She wanted to tell him everything and nothing at the same time. Someone shouldn't have this much control over her emotions, over her feelings, but with Lucas it felt like something was pulling her towards him. She had wondered if what they had had was like what her parents had, what Maya and Josh now have, or Smackle and Farkle, but she never got the chance to figure it out, and every relationship since hadn't worked out in any way at all. It wasn't that she hadn't tried, it was just that she hadn't felt what she had felt when she had been near Lucas.

Riley walked them towards the river, towards her house, no one was home, her parents had gone to a party thrown by her mother's firm, Auggie went off with Ava for the night, to see if they would make it to midnight without falling asleep. Josh and Maya were supposed to be at the party that Riley had just abandoned, sending them a message that she wasn't feeling well. Lucas showing up had changed everything, and all it took was one look from him and she needed to talk, she needed to tell him about her life. He shouldn't have this kind of power over her, and she knew it, but for some reason there was something, a spark maybe, it always drew her to him. It was something that had been missing for a long time now and something she hadn't known she had lost. Now there it was standing in all his six-foot-tall glory, she hadn't realized just how much he had grown in four years, how different he looked and yet he was still Lucas in her eyes.

Once they were in her apartment, she dragged him to her bedroom and sat him at the bay window, this was an important conversation, she needed to know what had happened, and why he was there in front of her all of a sudden. The bay window was her safe space, but she knew that she didn't want anyone walking in on them, or opening the window, so she shut the blinds and pulled Lucas towards the floor. He looked at her as if he wasn't sure what to think about what was happening, but when she turned to face him with only the glow of the lamp on her nightstand, she knew that this was something she needed to confront.

"Explain," she said to him without any questions, she just wanted the truth.

She watched as Lucas played with the edges of his jacket before shrugging it off, "Where do you want me to start?" he asked her looking at her as if he was finally getting air to breathe.

"Start from the beginning Lucas, I just want to know why you stopped talking to us, why everything had changed, and yet you show up now like nothing had happened," she was frustrated and she knew it. There was no way around that fact, because after all of these years she just wanted answers.

He sighed before turning and leaning against the bench, "Pappy Joe had a heart attack."

"I know that part."

"Let me explain first," he said every once and a while he looked over at her. "He had a heart attack, and then when we got there, he was in the hospital, and he had a second heart attack, he needed surgery, and my parents felt guilty for leaving him alone to run the ranch. I mean my dad is very strict at times, but he has a heart, anyway my parents had decided that we should move back to Texas, my dad still worked at his job constantly flying back and forth, but we stayed. At the time I wasn't sure what I felt, so much had been happening especially with... well you know."

And she did know, the triangle had come to be, Maya was still fighting her own feelings, and Riley just wanted everything to be like it had been before they let their classmates dictate their lives. When he left, she had felt like someone had thrown her into the east river, and didn't want her to get out. They were kids, and kids their age shouldn't have had those kinds of feelings, but there they were.

"I think I felt as if the pressure was off of me at the time, I had something else to worry about, but in the back of my mind I couldn't stop thinking of what I left behind. I was afraid and I took the cowards way out and just stopped talking to people."

"I noticed," she said trying not to think about what he left behind because she was still afraid that he wanted Maya and not her.

"Riley, I didn't want to come between you and Maya, I hated that it had started like that, but you two are the best of friends and you deserve only happiness and not some random guy in between you both."

"You're not some random guy Lucas, you were my first boyfriend, my first kiss, my first everything when it came to learning about love."

"Yeah except after everything that happened it felt tainted some way," he sighed before banging his head against the bench. "I didn't know how to talk to you anymore, it felt like you had kept something from me, but I want to talk to you so desperately from the moment we landed in Texas, Riley... if you had made me choose, I would have picked you, what I was being forced into with Maya, didn't feel like what I had with you and it hurt that you put me in the middle just because you wanted Maya to have happiness. What about what I had wanted, what about my feelings?"

The question was directed at her, and she realized that she hadn't thought in that sense when it came to Lucas, "I think, that in a way especially during those years," she sighed, there was an answer, one that Zay, Farkle, and Charlie had all pointed out to her in the time since. "I think that I was both afraid of what we had, but also I would give up anything to make others happy, even at the cost of my own happiness. I was always reminded of how lucky I am, of how much I have, that when something special comes I want to give it to someone who wants it more."

"Riley you're not responsible for everyone else's happiness, no matter how lucky you are in life, everyone is responsible for their own happiness," he said and she knew it was the truth. "I learned that when I was in Texas, because I questioned everything, including my decision to stop talking to you all."

"What did you do in the last for years then?"

"Mostly I helped out on the ranch for the first two, I was homeschooled for the first two years of high school while Pappy Joe recovered. Then I went to high school, and played football, went to dances, all the while I thought about how much I regretted not talking to you."

"You mean to all of us?"

"No... no Riley just you, I had learned that I missed those conversations we had had, the silly things you used to do that made me smile, I missed you Riley."

She could feel her heart pounding in her chest, she wasn't sure if he was confessing his love to her, or what he was trying to say, it was all new and scary all of a sudden. "I don't know..."

"No listen," he said interrupting her. "I just have to say this before I lose my nerve, and you're probably dating someone so this is probably just me saying these things, but Riley I hadn't known what love was, the kind that takes over and keeps a beacon of hope shining inside of you, until I met you and lost you. It's weird that after four years, all it took was looking at you for that hope to come back."

She couldn't help but blush at his words, she knew what he was saying because in those same four years she hadn't found what she had once had with him. It was strange that something that happened in Middle School would have such a profound effect on her life.

"I'm not dating anyone," she blurted out, because of course that's what was important, not what he said, just the hope that they could still have something. "Sorry, I didn't mean for it to come out like that, but... um... yeah, I feel like too, I've felt like everyone else had moved forward and I was stuck for some reason. I guess I was just waiting for you, which should have been stupid, because what were the odds of the two of us being in the same place at the same time."

"Yeah," he said smiling at her.

"I'm still mad at you," she said because she wanted him to know that what he did still hurt her. "I've been mad at you for so long Lucas, I'm mad because you just left and never talked to me again, to any of us, you let this thing," she waved her hands around exasperated with the situation. "Hang over all of us for a long time, except Maya finally found her center, she was happy, and all I had was a missing piece of myself."

"Trust me I'm angrier with myself over all of it than you are, but I think I was just punishing myself for letting it get out of hand, I only dated because it was expected, but I never went out with more than three girls, and in the end, they were only to school dances. Nothing felt the same, I just wanted to dance with you in that awkward way we danced in seventh grade, because it was more fun than being in Texas... but I couldn't leave my parents were down there, everything was happening down there, and when I realized that what I had with you was something special, it had been too late to do anything about it."

They didn't speak for a while, they just sat there, every once and a while her phone went off and she knew that she would have to answer it because if she didn't than everyone, she knew would show up at her place looking for her, and she didn't want to stop talking to Lucas. She wanted this moment to figure it all out, she didn't want to keep living in the past and not finding her way forward.

"Can you not tell everyone that I came back," he said after they had been quiet for what felt like an eternity.

"Why?"

"I guess, I just want to find my footing again, I've been living in this kind of limbo where I do things because they're expected of me and nothing else, like tonight, my mom gave me the ticket to go, and I didn't really want to go to the party but I went anyway. Walking out with you is the first thing I've actually done for myself that wasn't dictated by other people."

She could feel the blush creeping up her neck and onto her cheeks, it was weird that what he was saying was right, "Crap," she said as the realization hit her.

"You've been doing the same thing haven't you?"

"Yes," she sighed and felt herself sink onto the floor. "I dated because Maya, or Farkle, or Charlie thought that the person would look good with me, but it never went anywhere... everything I've done I've done because others told me I should try, and the only things I did do for myself were things that reminded me of you." she could feel her face heat up at admission, but it felt nice not to have to hold back on what she had to say.

"Riley," he said after they had been quiet for a moment, most likely because both of them had been reevaluating their lives. "Do you think that you could, not tell anyone that I'm back in New York?"

"Why would you want to hide that?"

"I guess I just want to find my way, and if tonight brought me to you without you knowing I want to know what fate has in store for me."

"I like the sound of that," she smiled at him. "Fate and destiny brought us together tonight for a reason, without anyone knowing, it's nice," she wanted to ask him if he would consider going out with her, but she stopped herself, for some reason she wasn't sure what she wanted for a long time, outside of her academic life, her personal life had been just her and her friends, she didn't want a relationship for some reason. But at that moment, she wanted him, even four years later, he still had an effect on her heart and after several failed dates set up by her friends, she just wanted a moment to grab onto that feeling and hold onto it.

Lucas wanted to take her hand in his, he remembered how soft it had been when they were in middle school, but he wasn't sure if he would allow himself the moment now because he was afraid of losing her a third time. He wanted to make sure that they would be able to talk like they once had, that they could be friends again. Even though it had been easy to fall into it at that moment, he wasn't sure if they were at the point where they could reach out towards one another.

"What school are you going to?" she asked him, not really looking up to meet his eyes. "I mean if you were going to Abigail Adams, I'm pretty sure that my dad would have been screaming bloody murder up and down the street."

"I'm not, my parents picked a place on the upper east side for us to live in, my dad got a huge promotion and they figured that they should live up there, and it's near his job, so I'm going to Hamilton high school instead," he said wishing that he would have had the chance to go to the same school as her, to be near her even for a few moments.

Riley nodded, he noticed that she was playing with her fingers on her lap, "That's good, they're a good school," she said not really committing to the words.

"We can hang out you know," he said with a smile. "I would love for us to get the chance to hang out, because it would mean that we could get to know each other again, after being apart for so long."

"I would like that," she said before meeting his eyes for the first time since the conversation turned to where they would be going to school. "I would like it a lot, it could just be our little secret."

"Wouldn't Maya hate that, you don't keep anything from her," he could feel himself inching closer to her for some reason. He just wanted to be near her, to get the chance to hold onto her because he was sure that he would never get this chance ever again.

"I think it's time for me to have something that I don't share with anyone, but if you want to tell the world then by all means," she said leaning into his space, which made his heart race, because he was sure that she wanted this as much as he did.

They were drawn to one another, just a few hours after seeing each other again for the first time in years and they were like magnets being pulled together. Their faces were an inch away from one another when the sounds of the new year rung throughout the neighborhood, and Lucas hadn't realized that he couldn't really wait any longer, as his lips met hers for the first time since their first kiss back in seventh grade. It felt like coming home for some reason, like the spring rain Riley always talked about, like the summer on the ranch under the stars. It felt like everything and nothing all at the same time.

When they pulled apart, he was faced with a smiling Riley in front of him. "Happy New Year's Lucas," she said before kissing him again.

He remembered something that Farkle had said so long ago, about who you're with when the clock strikes twelve is how you'll spend the coming year. At that moment Lucas hoped that this would mean that they would spend the next year together, because it would be everything, he had wished for in the last four years and more. A second chance with Riley, one where they could look at one another without the fear of other's interfering in their lives.

"Happy New Year's Riley," he said to her feeling as if his heart had finally found its way home, in her hands.