Hi! I'm still in Korea, but I'll be going home in just 3 weeks. Yay! It feels SO good to write something again, it's been too long.
And sorry if this melts anyone's brain. I believe this is what is known as a "crack-fic". I think I've been eating too much KIMCHI!
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. If I did...hehehe, Shikamaru would be know as the Shirtless Shadow User. Teehee
Did I come at a Bad Time?
The door to the Hokage's office flew open and Shizune burst into the room. She stopped dead on the threshold, as a comical expression of utter shock manifested itself on her face.
At almost the same moment, a thick folder of unsigned mission reports slipped unheeded from her suddenly limp grasp. It fell to the floor as all good inanimate objects do when obeying the laws of gravity and, opening itself wide, strewed papers haphazardly at the purple-robed medic's feet.
Yet despite the effort and three hours that Shizune had spent in compiling the reports into chronological order, then colour coding them by order of priority, she simply stood frozen in the doorway at the horrific, unbelievable, shocking, bone-chilling sight that met her eyes, oblivious to the papers around her feet.
Her first coherent thought was, "That's NOT what the Hokage's desk was meant for, Tsunade-sama."
This thought was quickly followed by, "And that's NOT what your 19 year old top strategist is meant for."
After at least a minute or so of stunned silence from the three occupants of the room, the first words that forced themselves from her frozen stiff lips were
"Forgive me, Hokage-sama, did I come at a bad time?"
"No!" yelped Shikamaru, from where he lay, facedown and shirtless on the polished dark wood of the Hokage's desk. He would have said more, had not the most impressive cleavage in Fire Country smothered him, effectively cutting off his words and half his air supply.
"Yes!" snapped the owner of said cleavage, tightening her infamously powerful grip on Shikamaru's wrist, which was trapped between his shoulder blades, effectively rendering him unable to move.
The fact that she was straddling his waist, pinning him to the desk, may have also had something to do with this inablity.
Shizune gulped at the look on her employer's face. "I guess I'll come back in an hour then?"
Tsunade narrowed her eyes. A muffled plea for help came from Shikamaru.
Shizune tried again. "Two, no, three hours?"
Tsunade's eyes were slits.
Shizune began to back out the door, hastily pushing the mission reports into a crumpled heap inside the room so as not to impede the door from closing firmly.
"How about I just cancel all your appointments for the rest of today and, uh, lock the door after me?
Tsunade smiled.
The door slammed shut and Shizune dazedly wandered down the hallway. She needed a drink, and she needed one NOW.
At the sound of another muffled cry from the 19 year old jounin beneath her, the Fifth Hokage leaned back, allowing Konoha's laziest ninja full breathing privleges again.
"Mendokusee...do you really have to do this every time I get back from a mission?" he groaned. "I was only gone for three weeks, che."
The blonde woman smiled down at him, while her unoccupied hand worked his hair free of it's band. She angled her head to admire the effect of his thick dark locks lying tumbled around his face.
"I missed you. Plus, I think your strategies are better after you're...relaxed. And those strategies are what have saved this village time and again. So really, in a way, this is for the good of the village."
Shikamaru rolled his eyes, then shivered as she leaned down and slowly ran her tongue along the underside of his jaw.
"Now," Tsunade grinned, nuzzling at his ear, playing with the silver ring adorning it, "Where were we?"
AN: (runs and hides, while giggling maniacally)