I had a dream where this fic happened and then I immediately wrote it down in the morning. Originally it was going to be a one-shot but then I realized I could very easily make another kurumois fluff fic out of this.
Keroro, Giroro and Dororo lay in Keroro's room staring up at the ceiling in the middle of the night. Not for any important reason, just for a sleepover.
It had been Keroro's idea. "We have to get back to our roots! Our strong childhood friendship. Us three don't do nearly enough activities together."
Giroro would have yelled at him for wanting to do something so childish at the time, but Dororo had been weeping openly at the fact that Keroro had invited him anywhere. Hmph. Fine. I guess I'll go along with Keroro's dumb sleepover idea. It's just a night and I guess I can space out instead of listening to his stories about himself. He knew there was something nefarious about this whole idea. Likely Keroro wanted to make fun of him by setting him up to do something stupid or he wanted people to listen and admire him.
It wasn't about childhood nostalgia. It couldn't be.
"Can I come?" Tamama had asked, eyes wide and hopeful.
"No!" Keroro easily rejected. "It's for us childhood friends only. I mean you weren't in our childhood, were you? You weren't part of our little group."
Tamama grinded his teeth and glared. "No. I guess I wasn't." He admitted unhappily, knowing he was being excluded from the sleepover. He brightened up when he saw Mois also looking sad though. Because the one thing that brought him happiness was his rival's misery. If he wasn't going, neither was she! "Well I hope you THREE have fun! With all that childhood nostalgia."
Keroro gave him a thumbs up, while Dororo tried to contain his excitement murmuring to himself every now and then "I'm part of a group! I was remembered! Me!"
Giroro just pat him on the back.
And now he just needed to get through the whole ordeal. As Keroro chattered to Dororo about their childhood exploits and stories, Giroro found himself becoming distracted and focusing instead on the present verses the past.
He doodled in a little notebook that Keroro had made them each bring so they could pass notes like children. He found himself doodling Natsumi's face and hearts after a while.
Eventually he let his mind drift to the chances of how likely it was that he was actually going to end up with Natsumi. He feared it might not be too likely. But he didn't want to tell himself that.
As Keroro talked Giroro started doodling names, wondering how many love rivals he actually had that would get in his way of getting together with Natsumi.
Saburo, Koyuki, he found himself writing names and drawing lines between them and Natsumi.
Other people would get in his way too. Kululu because he was a jerk, Keroro because he was a constant annoyance.
He added them too. And as the night drifted on he found himself doodling more lines between people. He would put arrows when things were one sided. Question marks when he didn't know like with Momoka and Fuyuki.
He realized after a moment that what he was doodling was a relationship chart, trying to figure out where all their weird antics were, and how he really was a small piece in the larger picture.
Man. Keroro speaking really does make you space out and draw the weirdest things. Giroro thought to himself.
Keroro peered over his shoulder, because Giroro was unguarded. "What are you drawing?"
Before Giroro could defend himself Keroro pulled the notebook out from under him. Dororo sat by his side also looking.
"What is this?" Keroro asked again even more confused as he squinted.
"Ah! It must be a friendship chart!" Dororo smiled. "You can see that by the fact that there's a line between Lady Koyuki and I." He beamed.
"It's only got an arrow from you though." Keroro frowned. "Does that mean she doesn't think of you as a friend?"
Dororo's smile fell immediately. He looked at Giroro horrified. "You think that Lady Koyuki doesn't think of me as a friend? Giroro! How could you be so cruel?" He looked closer at Koyuki's name. "She thinks of Natsumi as a friend but not me?" He curled up. "…Lady Koyuki would never forget about me."
Keroro pat him on the back. "Maybe Giroro's the cruel person of this friendship. I mean his chart really is mean. Two people are friends with me and neither of them is Fuyuki and apparently I don't feel any sort of friendship for either of them!" Keroro frowned, pointing at his name and Angol Mois and Tamama's names with arrows pointing to him.
"It's...Uhh a relationship chart." Giroro reluctantly admitted. "Not a friendship chart. But...Perhaps I should have added in the friendships. That's important too." It was important to know who his friends were and Natsumi's. He wanted to know it all.
Dororo perked up. This meant that Koyuki didn't hate him! "Oh! You should have said that to begin with." He paused. "Wait a minute….You think I have a crush on Lady Koyuki?" He frowned at Giroro and crossed his arms. None of that was Giroro's business.
"It was relevant!" Giroro defended. If Koyuki liked Natsumi, and Dororo liked Koyuki it would be easier to separate Natsumi and Koyuki.
Dororo just continued staring at him in disapproval. Dororo's disapproval was harsh.
"Well don't you?" Keroro piped in, trying to help Giroro out a little bit.
"W-what. No. No I don't." Dororo denied. "Lady Koyuki and I are just friends."
Both Giroro and Keroro now stared at him. Dororo started to sweat.
"Uh, Um..." He just kinda stuttered.
Neither Giroro nor Keroro believed his story.
Keroro eventually showed him mercy by focusing on his name. "It does make more sense that this is a relationship chart instead of a friendship chart. I mean I should have known when the only line with Fuyuki was Momoka." He paused. "But what I don't get is if it's a relationship chart what's with the line from Mois to me?" Keroro pointed. "The way you're doing this it makes it look like she likes me or something."
This time Dororo stared at him. Was Keroro seriously that dense? Did he not know? He looked honestly confused.
"What about Tamama's name?" Giroro pointed out. After all he had put Mois and Tamama as both having a crush on Keroro.
Keroro stared at him blankly. "Tamama's name is on this thing?" He looked closer. "Oh! So it is! I wonder who he likes." He was so dense that he didn't even see the line between them.
Giroro started banging his head on the wall.
"The line is there with the arrows because they have a crush on you, Keroro." Dororo tried to be kind, and explain the situation to Keroro.
Keroro yet again thought Dororo was only talking about Mois. "Huh? Nah, that can't be." He shook his head. "Giroro's got things a little wrong doesn't he?"
Giroro just sighed. Dororo giggled a little despite himself. It was a rare and wonderful opportunity when you got to tease Keroro.
"I mean Mois's dating Kululu. So she can't like me." Keroro continued. That got Dororo to stop snickering immediately.
Giroro just stared at him. "Keroro...I didn't know you could reach a new level of dumb. But today you did."
"Why...W-why do you think that?" Dororo was trying to figure out if he was horrified at this idea, or if he wanted to burst out laughing at how dumb Keroro was.
"Well…." Keroro frowned trying to think. "I mean they're together a lot. And..." He tried to get some reasoning out of his theory. His face drained of color as he slowly realized that he was either being stupid, or incredibly cruel to Mois in his head. "They work together in the basement! They have a lot of time to do things we don't know about!" Now that the words were out about Kululu and Mois dating, Keroro couldn't be wrong. Being wrong was humiliating.
"Didn't you make them work together? Aren't they alone together because of you?" Giroro pointed out trying to show Keroro how incredibly loyal Mois was.
Keroro gasped. "You're right!" He covered his mouth. He had gotten them together. He was a monster.
"They aren't dating, Keroro." Dororo tried to say it slowly so Keroro could understand it. "I mean can you imagine anyone we know actually being in a real relationship that isn't incredibly complicated? Even Momoka and Fuyuki aren't dating."
Keroro frowned. Dororo's logic and reasoning was sound as always.
Giroro sighed because Dororo's logic was too sound for him to like, considering his own situation.
"Well..You're right that I can't imagine Kululu in a relationship..." Keroro frowned, because the more he thought about it the more wrong he might be. And that meant he was too dense to realize that Mois liked him. And he didn't want to be dense. Denseness were for the Hinata siblings and dummies. He was not a dummy. "But they definitely like each other! That's why you made a mistake putting Mois's line towards me."
Giroro sighed and sat down, no longer banging his head against the wall. Keroro was beyond stupid. "He's afraid of her, Keroro." He pointed out.
"I don't think he likes her very much. Perhaps he begrudgingly tolerates her, but that really is the best sort of opinion you can get from someone like Kululu." Dororo pointed out. "He doesn't like anyone!"
Keroro frowned. "He does! He does like her! And she definitely likes him not me. I mean the other day she said he was nice. Nobody would say Kululu was a nice person unless there was something going on!" Keroro insisted.
Giroro sighed again. Yet again Keroro didn't understand Mois's boundless kindness. "Fine. If you think they like each other so much why don't you prove it? Me and Dororo will even help. But if you can't, you've got to accept reality that Mois likes you instead of denying it so much."
Maybe if Keroro realized that Mois liked him and stopped being dense they'd get together. And the more Keroro was distracted by someone else, instead of his own self-destructive tendencies the more likely they were to invade, or Keroro would be less likely to disrupt Giroro's relationships. Keroro being in a happy relationship really was a win win for everyone because they didn't want to handle him themselves.
Keroro, determined to not have Mois be in love with him because then he'd be a dense idiot, nodded. "Fine! Fine! I'll prove it! Just ask them what they think of each other. Then you'll see how weird their relationship is."
Dororo glanced at Giroro. "I'll be happy to help. This...This is just sad." Sometimes the level that someone was in denial was just incredibly sad to watch. Even Dororo had a burst of pity.
The first test that Giroro suggested to prove to Keroro that Angol Mois and Kululu didn't like each other was just asking them what they thought of each other. It was simple and Giroro really hoped it would work.
Giroro was chosen to speak to Kululu because he went to see him the most to yell at him for whatever huge prank happened to him that day.
Once Giroro had gone to Kululu's lab to yell at him for somehow drawing little hearts into his pupils, making him look super weird, he had the opportunity to talk to Kululu.
"Ku, ku, ku, you'll have to remove the hearts yourself! I hear the solution might be soap. Directly into your eye." Kululu teased.
"I'll put soap in your eyeball!" Giroro threatened. He was so done with Kululu. He turned around ready to leave and try...to put the soap in his eyeball. But then he remembered that he had agreed to talk to Kululu.
He sighed. "Hey, what do you think of the rest of the platoon?" He asked.
"Hmm? What brings this up?" Kululu asked, rather curious. "Ku! Oh, are you jealous that I don't pick on them as much as you? Well you always were my favorite!" He teased in a very creepy way.
Yeah to pick on. Why are people and large accidents so drawn to me? Red was supposed to be a lucky color, Giroro thought. Why was he so unlucky?
"Yeah kind of. I mean you aren't nearly as much of a jerk to them as me." Giroro pointed out.
Kululu made a 'bleh' noise. "I gotta up my game then. Ku, ku, ku. They're way too peaceful. Disgusting. Thank you for alerting me."
Giroro pitied his entire platoon. "But why? Why I was wondering? What makes me so much more appealing to be a jerk to than them? What do you think of Keroro?"
"He's my captain. And I know you're an idiot, but I'll remind you that Keroro is definitely the sort of person who would write up an official complaint for someone breaking his gundam model. Ku, ku, ku." Kululu answered. For once he looked sad that he couldn't prank Keroro nearly as much as he wanted.
"Tamama?" Giroro questioned.
"Ku, ku, ku. Oh don't worry. I make his life plenty miserable." Kululu grinned. Giroro felt a shiver run up his spine. He wondered if somewhere Tamama was shivering too.
"Dororo?" Giroro asked.
"Who was he again?" Kululu asked. It was clear that Dororo had avoided some of Kululu's pranks because he had just forgotten him. Perhaps that was the greatest jerky thing Kululu could do to him.
"Mois?" Giroro asked finally.
"I wasn't aware you were including Mois in that. She's not really part of the platoon." Kululu pointed out, somewhat confused. He raised a brow, like Giroro should have known why he avoided pranks on Mois. Mois remained unscathed because of his personal fear.
"Yeah, well I'm asking anyway what do you think of Mois?" Giroro asked.
Kululu trembled as if that was supposed to display all of his feelings.
"Besides that she's terrifyingly pure." Giroro added. "It always did confuse me why you disliked her so much but you picked on her so little." Giroro pointed out.
"I thought it was obvious." Kululu added, a hint of disgust on his tongue. How were the people around him so stupid? He valued himself highly and didn't want to die, so of course he didn't pick on Mois.
"You can't be that terrified of her though. I mean you two spend a lot of time together working. And you seem competent enough to do your work." Giroro pointed out. "So be frank with me, is it that she's such a good force that you just can't bring yourself to drop a spaceship on top of her like you do with me?"
"Our work relationship has nothing to do with my personal feelings towards her." Kululu reminded. "I'm one of the few in this platoon that seems competent enough to actually do work after all. I mean I even manage following the captain's dumb orders."
Giroro's eyes widened for a second. "You're not really giving me a straight answer of what you think of her." He realized. Was Keroro onto something? Or was he just getting wrapped up in Keroro's insane theory?
Kululu made a disgusted noise when he realized what Giroro was implying. "I tolerate her. Sometimes. Begrudgingly of course. She's pretty ditsy. Very Uncle obsessed, I mean that's pretty much every other sentence." He complained, "I don't like her, she's way too nice, like extremely nice, the inhumanely kind! But I don't like any of you. I can see how my degrees of dislike could be confusing to an idiot."
Giroro glared. Kululu was giving him an answer while insulting him on the side. That was so like Kululu.
"Mois's a simple minded individual. That makes her easy to understand in theory." Kululu explained.
Giroro ignored the 'in theory'. There was obviously a lot about Mois that confused Kululu that he didn't want to ask about. It was fun to think about teasing him and being the one in power for once, because Kululu himself probably hadn't predicted that he'd be afraid of her and didn't fully understand it, but he knew one victory would lead to many lost battles.
He wasn't prepared for Kululu's revenge.
Kululu glanced at Giroro. "That enough to satisfy you? Now you should probably hurry on up to throw that soap in your eye." He smiled for a moment. "Ku. It's so hard to take you seriously with those heart shaped pupils. Ku, ku, ku."
Giroro just growled. "I swear you are the worst. You're the one who needs soap everywhere. Especially in your rude mouth."
Kululu shrugged. "If I need my mouth washed, you need your brain scrubbed you've been having some nasty Natsumi thoughts."
Giroro blew him up with his gun.
It was up to Keroro to ask Mois what she thought about Kululu. After all she would never lie to him.
He was a little worried now that she wouldn't say something that tipped the scale in his theories favor. Or she said something that might actually mean that she liked him.
"Hey, Mois, can I ask you something?" Keroro asked. She was busy doing the laundry for him.
"Sure!" She beamed. "Ask away, Uncle. Questions from you are always good!" Maybe he even wanted to know more about her, it was rare to get Keroro's interest.
There was no need to be sneaky with Angol Mois, so Keroro just sputtered out his question. "What do you think of Kululu?"
Angol Mois answered incredibly quickly. "Not at all."
"Huh?" Keroro asked. He knew the statement was grammatically challenged, but he assumed it translated to not much. Keroro was worried for a second. Does this mean my theory is wrong?
"Oh! I thought you asked if I think about Kululu! Sorry." She apologized, a little bashfully. "Huh. What do I think of Kululu? Hmm..." She was a little curious why Keroro was asking, but how could she ever understand his mind? It worked in mysterious ways.
"Hmmm...I think he's a good person." She finally said. "He's very nice!" She beamed, hoping that was the right answer. "I think he does a lot of work for the platoon. He's a very hard worker. I don't know if you could invade without him. Not to say you couldn't do it on your own, Uncle. I just mean he's important to the whole group!" She eventually decided that Keroro was asking her advice on giving Kululu a raise.
Keroro smiled. "Knew it!" He said to himself. Nobody would say Kululu was nice unless they were incredibly biased. She had to like him!
Dororo dropped from a tree. "Uh-uh." He shook his head. "I don't think it's a bias causing that answer." He told Keroro.
Mois just looked confused. Where had Dororo even come from?
Dororo pointed to Mois. "Mois? What do you think of Tamama."
"Oh! He's really nice!" She beamed and replied again.
Keroro's smile faltered. He knew Tamama wasn't exactly the nicest to Mois. Maybe...it wasn't bias. Maybe she was just a little ignorant and thought everybody was nice.
"And what do you think of Keroro?" Dororo asked again.
"Super duper nice!" Mois replied again.
Now Keroro was frowning. He knew he wasn't exactly the nicest to Mois. After all she was doing the laundry that he was supposed to be doing. "Okay...Fine I guess I get your point." He sighed. "Everybody's nice in Mois's eyes."
He sighed. Maybe he really was reading too much into it.
"So you see, Keroro?" Giroro pointed out. "He really doesn't like Mois. And Mois...Well she just likes everybody. Including crap like Kululu. She thinks everybody is a good person."
Keroro slammed his fist on the table. "I won't give up!" He frowned. He really couldn't. He was too dedicated to the denial now.
Giroro sighed tiredly.
"Maybe I'm just the only person observant enough to notice they like each other!" Keroro insisted. "Maybe they're keeping it a secret. Or they're in denial."
"You? Observant?" Giroro teased. "I think not. How many people have a crush on you in our platoon?"
Keroro looked at him. "Giroro? You like me?" He asked shocked.
"I thought so. An idiot to the core." Giroro groaned, Keroro still having no idea that Tamama might like him at all.
Dororo just continued to feel a rush of pity for Keroro. "Well what next? What do we have to do until you realize that they don't like each other?"
Keroro thought for a moment. "The matchmaker test! It'll show how much they actually think of each other. Basically you ask the person who they would set up with the other person, and if they choose someone cool it means they think that person is cool! It'll show their real feelings."
Giroro sighed. He already knew that Kululu would never choose anyone good for anyone else. To him nobody was cool so this was bound to fail.
Maybe Saburo. Saburo's cool to him. But Saburo and Mois? That would be mine and Tamama's ideal situation but it's just never going to happen. Giroro sighed.
He'd go off to ask.
"If you could set Mois up with someone, who'd you choose?" Giroro tried to ask Kululu walking into his lab while he was working.
"Excuse me?" Kululu asked. "Why's everybody's romantic trouble's my responsibility? Ku, ku, ku."
"I'm just curious. I mean...As Keroro's friend I always want to know if the girl hopelessly in love with him is the right match." Giroro pointed out.
Kululu thought for a moment. "Well I wouldn't choose Keroro for one. Tamama maybe? That would be pretty funny. Ku, ku, ku." He laughed.
Giroro winced. Tamama and Mois would be bad for both of them.
"Oooh! But what about you! That would be funny too! Ku, ku, ku." Kululu laughed, "There are a lot of hilarious options."
"...But not Keroro?" Giroro asked. Maybe this test was aiding Keroro's argument. After all Keroro was the least cool person Giroro could think of, and it was likely the same for Kululu.
"Of course not. Yuck." Kululu looked disgusted. "I'm not into that couples getting closure and being happy thing."
Giroro frowned. Keroro's theory was now down the drain.
"So you'd go with Tamama?" Giroro asked.
"Sure. That sounds like a nightmare. And I love nightmares. Ku, ku, ku." Kululu laughed.
Giroro walked away. Yeah, Kululu's definitely not interested.
"Hey...Mois?" Keroro wondered how he'd ask this latest question. "If you had to set Kululu up with someone who would you choose?" If she chose someone cool, like himself, than it definitely meant she liked Kululu.
Mois frowned. "Set Kululu up with someone?" Her face scrunched up like she just couldn't imagine it. "Uhhh...I don't know. I don't think anyone really fits with him."
"But if you had to, who would you choose?" Keroro pushed.
Angol Mois stared blankly. "I don't know." She tried to think about it harder but just shook her head. "There's nobody I can really think of."
"Umm...Natsumi?" Keroro suggested trying to help her out.
Angol Mois quickly shook her head. "I think they'd kill each other before a first date even happened."
"Giroro?" Keroro asked.
"They wouldn't last a minute." Angol Mois replied again.
"...Koyuki?" Keroro was just throwing out names.
"I can't really see that." Angol Mois put her hands on her hips wondering why Keroro was trying to think so hard.
"...Lady Mom?" Keroro asked.
Angol Mois looked horrified. "No! Wouldn't he be like….Natsumi and Fuyuki's step dad if that worked out? I'm sorry, I just don't want to think about that."
Keroro agreed, secretly. That was hard to think about.
"...Me?" He suggested.
Mois's eyes widened. "U-uncle...D-do you like Kululu? A-are...Are you trying to get me to set you two up?" She seemed to be stuttering as if she had no idea what to do.
"No!" Keroro said hurriedly. "I was just trying to suggest names." He paused.
Maybe it wasn't a bad thing that Mois couldn't think of anyone. This could be good for my theory. Maybe she's jealous. It either was wonderful evidence in his favor or she just literally couldn't think of anyone and didn't want to stick anyone with Kululu.
Honestly nobody would probably blame her. They probably would have acted the same way in that situation. But he wasn't going to take the logical route.
"So let me get this straight," Keroro grinned, "You don't think anyone else would be a good match with Kululu?"
"..'Else'?" Mois wasn't sure how to take that. She was quiet for a moment. "Oh! Wait I have someone!"
Keroro frowned.
"Kululuko! You know that orange haired-" Angol Mois looked so proud.
"That's Kululu." Keroro frowned. He was sure that was the only answer anyone could come up with in the given situation though.
He sighed. The matchmaker test was a no go.
"See? They literally want the other person to be miserable." Giroro tried to reason with Keroro. Giroro frowned and revised the statement. "Well...Mois doesn't want Kululu to be miserable. She's just smart enough not to want anyone else to be miserable because they're dating him."
Keroro frowned. "I won't believe it! Maybe the matchmaker test just wasn't good. I mean of course if you were in love with someone you wouldn't want them to end up with someone who wasn't you. That's why Mois literally chose Kululu to end up with Kululu and Kululu..."
"Chose the gayest member of our platoon?" Giroro suggest.
Keroro just stared blankly at him. "I thought he chose Tamama?"
Giroro face palmed. He wanted to scream that Tamama was gay. But he didn't.
"But Kululu chose the safe option. Most likely Tamama doesn't like Mois. Probably. Maybe." Keroro wasn't too sure.
"If you start thinking that Tamama likes Mois, I'm going to stop helping you. Thinking Kululu likes Mois is just sad confusion. Thinking Tamama likes her is just unreal." Even Dororo was tired of how stupid Keroro was.
Keroro frowned. Well then he wasn't going to voice his thoughts about that.
"I got a new idea though!" Keroro smiled.
"I'm not talking to Kululu again." Giroro insisted.
"Fine, I'll do it." Keroro offered. "We'll just tell them the other person has a crush on them and see how they'll react."
"This is not going to go well." Dororo predicted realizing that Keroro was going to tell Kululu that Mois, the girl in love with Keroro was in love with Kululu. This was going to be a disaster.
"I gotta see this." Giroro smiled.
Keroro walked into Kululu's lab, Giroro and Dororo peering by the door edge to see what would happen.
"What'dya want, Captain? I'm working on repairs for the latest thing of mine you broke through your incompetence." Kululu sounded annoyed.
"Oh I just wanted to tell you a secret I learned. I thought you liked people's private information." Keroro had a broad grin on his face.
Kululu whirled around immediately interested. "I'm listening." He leaned on his hands. "I assume this information isn't coming for free?" He started to pull a drawer open with a gundam model in it.
Keroro licked his lips.
"Hmm...Maybe I should figure out if you have something of interest first." Kululu decided. "Who's this private information about?"
"Mois." Keroro replied.
Kululu hurriedly opened the drawer and tossed the gundam at Keroro. Keroro carefully caught it, desperate to not let it hit the ground and break.
"I'm always interested in Mois blackmail. I have so little of it compared to the rest of you. And I always knew you had a lot of interesting Mois facts that I just didn't have access to." Kululu seemed to be completely serious, lacking the information that Keroro was an idiot. "Perhaps even information on how she works, and how she manages to be so darn pure. Or perhaps just angolian information that aren't in any of the databases I search. Ku, ku, ku!" He seemed excited at whatever this was.
Keroro glanced behind him at Giroro and Dororo. See! He wants to learn things about Mois! Doesn't that show he likes her? He tried to say.
Giroro and Dororo were just shivering and holding each other. They both felt incredible pity for Mois. They had no idea that Kululu was so desperate for Mois blackmail and looking for it so much.
"Well, what is it?" Kululu asked. "Speak!" He ordered Keroro.
"She has a crush on you." Keroro lied.
Kululu looked at him blankly for a moment. And then he started laughing louder than he had ever laughed before. "KU! KU! KU! KU!"
"Ha? Ha? Ha?" Keroro laughed back. Maybe Kululu was happy? It was always hard to tell what Kululu's laughs meant.
Kululu fell out of his chair, now crying with laughter, Keroro having no idea what the joke was. "Ku, ku, ku, oh man this is gold. The captain….Is much dumber than I thought!" He laughed to himself.
Keroro stood still, slowly realizing the joke Kululu was laughing at was his existence. He felt bad. "I'm not dumb! She really does have a crush on you."
"Man, captain this isn't Mois blackmail. This is you blackmail. I had no idea you were that dumb. This puts Natsumi and Fuyuki to shame." Kululu was still on the floor, wheezing.
"But she does like you!" Keroro insisted. And the honesty in his voice just made Kululu laugh harder.
"Ku, ku, ku, ku. I just have to wonder what made you choose me?" Kululu spoke to himself. "Wait...Is this the matchmaker test? Are you saying you like Mois so little that you set her up with me? Wow...Ku, ku, ku." Kululu snickered a bit harder, obviously knowing he was the lowest rung on this test.
Keroro was unaware he had even known about this test.
"That's just sad, Captain. Sad for Mois maybe. I bet she'd be horrified to know that you think I like her or that we'd be a good couple. I can just imagine the tears when she realizes you failed the matchmaker test with her. Hmm...That's actually pretty tempting to tell her. Ku, ku, ku." Kululu looked very sinister as he was planning a prank on Mois.
"I'm...Not being mean!" Keroro insisted. "I mean it! She has a huge crush on you!"
"Uh-huh. Sure. Ku, ku, ku." Kululu cried in laughter again. "And what makes you think that?"
"Well..." Keroro frowned trying to think. "She just really likes you! She thinks you're a nice person and says way too many nice things about you!"
"Ick. Jealousy. I just wanted a laugh, Captain." Kululu wrongfully thought Keroro was jealous. "And Mois thinks everybody is a nice person. It's one of her many scary qualities."
"But….She talks about you a lot!" Keroro tried to pull more reasons out of his butt. "And you two spend a lot of time together. And she seems willing to spend time with you! Instead of reluctant like a normal person!"
"You told us to work together." Kululu pointed out. "It's easy to get her to do things if she thinks you want them." He seemed tired of laughing now, and more annoyed at Keroro's stupid ideas than anything else. "After all can you name one moment that she's spent with me that has nothing to do with you?" He pointed out. "You're the major factor in her decisions and toleration towards me. And it's because she's in love with you, not me, idiot." Kululu laughed again. "Ku, can't believe you had no clue that she liked you!"
"Just because multiple people think she likes me doesn't make it true!" Keroro insisted in utter denial. "And..." He tried to think of any moment that the two of them had hung out outside of work that didn't have to do with him. "Doesn't she help you show off your inventions? Uhhh...shopping for materials for invasions? I don't know. I'm not you two."
"It's all for you." Kululu pointed out. No longer as amused. He didn't want to be the one to pound the truth into Keroro's head. He wasn't kind after all. He crossed his arms. "Outside of work she's always busy with you. She never tries to spend time with me." He pointed out. "Which is incredibly lucky for me. Ku." He added quickly. "I mean when she does seem interested in what invention I'm making it's for you and your invasion. Probably. Or she's just incredibly pure. She's confusing. But...One of the things I know about that enigma is that you aid all of her choices. So it's definitely for you."
Keroro narrowed his eyes. There was a bit of rambling at the end. And it did seem like maybe she was spending time with Kululu outside of work but it was difficult to find out if that was because she saw that as work too. Mois was sometimes too kind for her own good and did things that weren't exactly fun.
"She doesn't like me." Keroro insisted again before walking out of the room. As he said that Kululu started laughing again.
"See Keroro?" Giroro pointed out. "He didn't seem interested in that at all." Giroro was giggling a little bit to himself.
"I do see that Kululu was perhaps...A better person than we thought." Dororo was trying desperately not to giggle at Keroro's misfortune too. "I mean he was trying to convince you of the truth too. That's...Something out of pity, right?" Dororo was hopeful. "But yeah. He didn't seem interested at all."
"No. I think I got it." Keroro was still desperate to cling to this idea. "He thought Mois liked me because he was paranoid! He's jealous!" He insisted wildly.
"UGH!" Giroro just banged his head against a wall again.
"Keroro...Why do you think that?" Dororo hoped that his disappointed voice would help Keroro with reason when he couldn't come up with a reason.
"Well he seemed super annoyed that she spent time with him because of me. That's jealousy, right?" Keroro replied.
"He seems annoyed all the time." Giroro pointed out. "Over everything."
"He did seem a little disappointed that she wasn't spending time with him outside of work." Dororo admitted tapping his chin.
"DORORO!" Giroro yelled. "We're trying to stop this weird idea!"
Dororo looked apologetic. "I'm sorry. I'm not saying he likes her. Maybe he's just lonely and wants friends. And Mois's willing to give everybody her friendship. Maybe Kululu has feelings-"
"He stuck a rotten egg under your hat once." Giroro reminded.
Dororo glared. "He has no feelings. I will never forget the rotten egg I was looking for for a day." He crossed his arms. He had been sleeping peacefully and then suddenly...rotten egg!
Giroro nodded, now Dororo was on the right track.
"I...I guess Mois is next..." Keroro frowned. Would she laugh at him too?
No sweet, kind, Mois would never laugh at him!
Giroro and Dororo didn't hide this time, but they didn't walk up with Keroro they were just in the same room to see how badly this would go.
"Umm...Mois..You'd believe me if I told you something, right?" Keroro asked.
"Of course!" Mois smiled and beamed. "I'd always believe you, Uncle! You're always right and would never lie to me."
"Kululu has a crush on you." Keroro tried.
"I don't believe you!" She beamed again.
Keroro's spirit cracked. What an honest answer. He felt like he was fading away.
She just kept smiling as he faded away.
He tried to regain his confidence. "But he does! He...Uhhh..." he tried to think up a lie. "He wants to go on a date with you! That's gotta mean he likes you, right?"
Mois didn't have an immediate answer at that moment. She thought for a moment. "...But why would he tell you this, Uncle? I didn't think you two were that close." She had more common sense that day than Keroro.
Keroro frowned. "I thought you'd say you would always believe me!" He pointed out.
"Yeah, but..." Mois looked guilty. It just seemed so much like a lie. She looked down at her feet.
"He was sad and was asking advice. Since I'm so popular, obviously." Keroro pointed to himself.
Mois's eyes widened. Keroro was popular. "Oh! Okay! That makes sense."
Keroro smiled.
Mois let what Keroro was saying sink in. "Wait!? Wait!? What-?" She eventually burst out. "K-kululu likes me?" She sounded completely confused and her voice was much louder than normal.
Giroro sighed. "We shouldn't have had faith in the person who fell in love with Keroro, Dororo. She's stupid too."
"Sometimes stupidity flocks together." Dororo handed Giroro a cup of tea he had brewed.
Giroro drank it. He needed something to calm him down from this nonsense.
"Yep! He has this huge crush on you!" Keroro was so glad someone was believing him. Mois's giving a normal reaction too instead of laughing. We've finally gotten through that curve of just not believing me.
Mois just blushed. "I had no idea! I just thought he really wanted to go see a movie because he would get in free because nobody would be able to see him in the pekoponian movie theaters! So I kept suggesting people who would like the movie titles better that he was suggesting." Mois moaned in horror. "Oh no...I was rejecting him without even knowing it wasn't I?"
"Huh?" Giroro and Dororo both turned around.
"Umm….What's this about the movies, Mois?" Now Keroro was also confused. Maybe it sounded a little like Kululu was trying to hang out with her, but part of him never believed that he'd hear something like that.
"You know how you're invisible to pekoponians? I just thought it was a scheme for free movie tickets!" Mois yelled again, quite distraught. "I mean that sounds so Kululu. Like really really Kululu."
"It does...Was Kululu trying to go to the movies for free?" Keroro asked. "Dang. That's a good idea. Going with a pekoponian. I'll have to ask Fuyuki to take me to the movies now. I mean he won't like doing something illegal but if I choose a space movie..."
Mois frowned. "No, Uncle! He was asking me on a date! Because you said he was asking you for dating advice about me, remember?" Mois reminded. "So it wasn't a scheme to go to the movies for free."
Keroro frowned. I did want Mois to take my lie seriously. But now she's applying it to an evil scheme.
"Hold on." Giroro walked over, Dororo following behind him. "Explain what happened again? I can probably provide some insight on if it was sinister or not. I mean with Kululu it's always safe to assume something is sinister right."
"This is just a case of you could say, the jerk who cried wolf." Mois looked frazzled. "I really had no idea!"
"I don't think it is a case of the boy who cried wolf." Giroro tried to comfort her. "I think he really was just being a jerk." He glared at Keroro, now Mois was just extremely confused. "Explain what happened."
"Well...Every now and then Kululu asks if I'm free to see a movie with him, and names one that's in theaters. I asked him the first time if he wanted to see a movie with me because I was confused why he would ask and he said he didn't, he just wanted to get in for free at a pekoponian theater because he thought it would be funny. So I suggested someone who would have more free time to go to the movies with him!" Mois frowned. "But if those were dates like Uncle said than I was rejecting him with no knowledge of it."
Giroro sighed. He pat Mois on the back awkwardly. "I don't think you were rejecting him or making him feel bad at all. Don't worry. I think he really did want a free seat."
"Or to show you a horror movie. Kululu does like those. He probably wanted to see you scared since you scare him so often." Dororo assured.
Mois smiled for a moment. "That does sound like Kululu. And most of the titles were horror movies. So I guess that makes sense."
Keroro sighed. His lie was being exposed. "...Horror movies are a date movie you know." He nudged Mois back in the wrong direction. It was a little interesting seeing her freak out.
Mois's eyes widened. "You're right! And there were so many other clues!" She moaned. "Like that he kept suggesting other things that interested me as if tailoring it specifically to me."
"Yeah he definitely wanted to make you scared." Giroro sighed. "I guess the real reason he doesn't prank you as much as me is because you somehow luckily fall out of his grasp by..."
"Saying I promised to spend time with Uncle." Mois sighed. "That must have been especially mean if he was asking me out."
Keroro nodded. "That explains his jealousy then!" He was all for this theory, nodding along. Dororo glared at him.
"You're confusing the poor girl!" Dororo frowned. "Keroro this is the end of it, I'm going to tell you the truth. They don't like each other. Kululu does not have a crush-"
"Maybe I should have realized it when he said it could be like a date or something. God, I'm really dense aren't I? I mean there really were so many clues that he liked me! But as usual Uncle is just so smart he just knows these things. Thanks for telling me Uncle I really had no idea!"
Giroro and Dororo were utterly silent.
Keroro grinned. He had been right this whole time! He knew it! "So he asked you on a date, Mois? And you still didn't know he was asking you on a date? Wow, you really are dense." He rubbed in. "I'm not the dense one guys, see? See?" He was so happy! "I was right this whole time! He really does like her!"
Mois frowned a little bit. "What do you mean...You were right the whole time, Uncle? I thought you knew this from the beginning. I mean you were the one who told me Kululu liked me."
Keroro squeaked and became silent because Mois's big eyes were staring at him and realizing that he had lied.
"He lied." Giroro told her. "...We all had no idea he was actually trying to ask you out. That...That's so bizarre. He..." Giroro was in shock, "He doesn't have feelings. He also said that he disliked you! Was he lying?"
Mois was glaring for once at Keroro. "You lied to me?" She crossed her arms. "Uncle! I can't believe it!"
"I mean I might have lied but it made you realize how Kululu truly felt!" Keroro defended. "So it was a good lie."
Mois sighed in what could only be explained as annoyance. "He doesn't like me." She insisted. "Okay...Maybe I thought everything made a little bit of sense because of what Uncle said. His fascination with trying to learn more about me and figure me out. Him fainting when I looked at him. Stuff like that. But that was cuz Uncle lied! He doesn't actually like me, Kululu just thinks of me as a good friend."
"What about the date then, Mois?" Keroro teased. "How do you explain that."
Mois thought for a moment. "Maybe he was desperate for me to just come with him, and he thought a date would be harder to say no to and say that I was busy with Uncle? I mean...Giroro and Dororo could be right that he just really wants to scare me."
Giroro did nod to that. It did make sense. "He underestimated your love for Keroro then."
Keroro ignored that.
Mois nodded. "But that seems reasonable. I mean it's not like he's ever said he likes me, or anything else. And when I ask him what he thinks of me he usually says he just tolerates me and if I stare at him longer than that for an answer he says I confuse him and then he eventually breaks something important." She threw up her hands in defeat.
Giroro winced. Yeah he never was sure about Kululu.
"Well there's only one way to know if I was wrong or not, Mois!" Keroro cheerfully got back in the game. "You have to accept going to the movies with him!"
"K-keroro...Don't say that." Dororo winced.
"She'll do it. Because you asked her to." Giroro frowned. That...really wasn't good for anyone. Mois especially.
Mois thought for a moment not hearing what Giroro and Dororo said. "Okay." She agreed. "I'm pretty curious too. And if it turns out it was a sinister scheme it won't be the end of the world. Maybe it will be unique to be jerked off by Kululu!"
"Victim of Kululu's schemes." Keroro corrected. "Better phrasing."
Mois nodded. But she seemed excited at figuring things out too now.
The next day during the evening Giroro assumed that Mois had finished her date. Kululu hadn't pranked him after all and had seemed incredibly dedicated to his computer that day, cackling sometimes to himself.
"How was it?" Keroro tried to get Mois alone.
"It was a lot of fun!" Mois beamed.
"But was it a date?" Keroro asked hurriedly.
Mois thought for a moment. She shrugged and didn't really answer.
Keroro glanced to Giroro.
Giroro sighed. He knew what he had to do. Ask Kululu. Because Mois was probably confused as heck.
Giroro walked up to Kululu who was working on his computer. He seemed very interested in his work, so much so that he didn't notice Giroro walking over to him in the camera in the corner of his screen.
Giroro noticed that the documents Kululu were organized were labeled 'Mois database'. He looked a little annoyed, biting his lip every now and then and hissing to himself. "I should have known!" and "I can't believe it!" or "This is important information to add, perhaps the larger picture will make more sense now."
None of it made Giroro think Kululu and Mois had gone on a date. In fact it seemed more like she was a science experiment than anything else.
"Hey." Giroro waved.
Kululu whirled around. "Where did you come from?" He sweated for a second. "Oh never mind." He had probably gotten wrapped up in his work. "What do you want? Natsumi's schedule for today?"
"No! I'm not that creepy." Giroro defended, tempted by the offer. "Uhhh...I wanted to see how you were doing." He tried to seem innocent.
Kululu glared. "You on board with that stupid captain theory?" He teased, realizing Giroro probably knew he and Mois had gone out that day. He crossed his arms. "Man what is up with that? Is he in denial of his own feelings or something. It's gotta be something like that. I just don't care enough to analyze it."
"Uhh...Well you did go on a date with her today." Giroro tried to test the water.
Kululu instantly glanced at him. "Is that what she said?"
"Ummm...Not exactly. She shrugged when asked." Giroro replied.
Kululu quickly added something to the document that Giroro couldn't see. "Hmm…." He said to himself, "That's interesting. I wasn't expecting that. Ku, ku, ku."
Giroro frowned. "You don't seem...that unhappy with that answer. I mean...You can't really be that mad at Keroro's theory if you just went on a date with her. I mean you've gotta know that, right?" Giroro asked.
"We didn't go on a date." Kululu corrected.
Giroro relaxed a little. That was the confirmation he wanted. "So you really did just want to scare her from a horror movie?"
Kululu looked frustrated at that question. "I did!" He threw up his hands in defeat. "But it turns out she likes horror movies. I made sure to even work on the film behind the scenes and up the gore. But you know what happened-"
"...What?" Giroro asked realizing Kululu wanted him to ask.
"She giggled! Like that cute sort of kind giggle! But someone was literally being ripped into pieces by a zombie! What the heck? I mean I laughed too, but I laugh at everything." Kululu yelled. "I can't figure her out at all. She's the nicest creature on the planet, yet she's super into all this destruction stuff. I'm supposed to be a genius but she frustrates me! She's so confusing! Nothing about her or anything she does makes any sense. Nor can I predict it!" He was venting now. "Tell me, Giroro, has anyone ever just made such little sense to you that you felt that you were getting stupider? Oh wait, you're already at the stupidest level."
Giroro watched Kululu vent having never seen him so frustrated. He decided to ignore the insult. "I thought someone giggling at gore with you would have been like your dream date or something." He said off handidly.
"Yeah. It was pretty cool." Kululu said a little dreamily.
Giroro's eyes widened.
"But that doesn't matter! Ku, it's the fact that I couldn't scare her that matters I had the whole thing completely planned out. Now I need to find a new plan and revise all my Mois information. Ku." Kululu went back to typing. "I'll figure out something eventually."
"You know...It doesn't really help your case of not liking her when you're so obsessed with her." Giroro pointed out.
"I'm not obsessed." Kululu denied. "I have an average amount of curiosity to something I can't figure out." He paused. "If you want to focus on someone obsessed with Mois talk to Tamama, or better yet Captain who seems so embarrassed that she has a crush on him that he's started up this whole theory that she likes me."
"I mean….She went on what she thought was a date with you….And she didn't know if it was a date. That doesn't seem like just a theory now." Giroro pointed out.
Kululu paused for a second, he didn't seem to have a retort for that. "I'll investigate that matter on my own." He said a little quietly to himself, "But the greater facts remain that Keroro didn't really know any of that would happen, he was lying. So perhaps you should focus on your friend's feelings instead of me."
Giroro felt a stone in his stomach Kululu was right.
And with that he left the lab as Kululu continued typing away.
In the original one shot Kululu and Mois started dating at the end but I wanted it to be longer.
I've actually finished up the entire story and will be posting it soon.
Please review.