NOTE-

As far as I can tell this is the original post : post/50068253853/how-could-you-do-this-to-chekov-a nd-enterprise

This is me reblogging it with this fic at the bottom (un-edited, and written at 2 in the morning as all proper crack is supposed to be) post/52473661424/cattybat-how-could-you-do-this-to

I should probably apologize for the poor writing, the lack of any focused editing, and the plot that isn't ... but you've been warned so I wont.

And low, the crack is forthe coming ...

/It's alright Chekov/ came the orange words on the data pad accompanied by a subdued beep. /I have a plan, and a Jeffries tube where they're bound to find us./

"I don't know 1701, it just, it feel too soon. I want to be happy for them but…"

Sulu laughed from across the room the Scotsman was telling the story of meeting the captain for the first time again. Stupid sandwiches shouldn't be funny.

"No, you're right. 18 hundred?"

/I'll scan for anomalous temperatures and adjust accordingly. It's for their own good./

Chekov didn't think as he changed into his favorite down time shirt. He checked his face in the mirror but ended up looking past his shoulders to the bunk. He was angry. Sulu should be here, it was their movie night, but instead he cancelled to 'have a drink' with Scotty.

Pavel had felt so small at the excuse. He had accepted and rushed off. Sulu thought Chekov to young to hold his liquor. Ha. Chekov had been practically raised on vodka, it was tradition, he could out drink anybody but his Grandmother and the entire Russian heritage brewers alliance couldn't out drink her. He had wanted to pull Sulu away from the talkative engineer the whole day especially with his conversations with the ship.

That was another thing that he loved about his job. The ship had acquired sentience after a rather exciting experiment with the holodeck went crazy and then fused with an on-going experiment with an unobtrusive planetary probe's A.I. that the engineers had been tinkering with. Nobody had bothered to tell HQ, they'd only decommission her and nobody wanted that.

He followed 1701's blinking light and found the tube open a tool panel already open.

"I feel like I should buy you dinner first."

/Just realign the coupling, They're coming./

Chekov reached blindly laying half in the tube and pulled out the coupler. He could hear the laughter in Sulu's voice, the approaching footsteps. He reached into the panel over head and gently moved the fibers to the side applying a precise burst that had 1701 buzzing out a sharp trill.

"Now, what-cha be up to in there now laddie?" Chekov blushed furiously as he extracted himself.

He saw the confused look on Sulu's face.

"Yust rwe-adyusting the kouplings siw." Kirk in the chair, he hated how his accent pushed through whenever Sulu was near.

Scotty raised an eyebrow. "Not with that you're not." He smirked and took away the tool.

Chekov was dismayed to find he hadn't grabbed the decoupler at all, but rather the fuser. No wonder 1701 had been so surprised.

Chekov tried to ignore his deepening blush. "Oh."

"Chekov, perhaps it's time to hang up your engineers hat and remember your our best navigator." Sulu said pulling the Russian away from the open Jeffries tube. "Wouldn't do to have you electrocuted on movie night, Bones would never allow us to watch a vid-pad in his sickbay."

"It's not movie night, you're out." Chekov mumbled face growing ever hotter in such close proximity.

"Actually I had asked if we could move drinks to your place for movie night, Scotty seemed amenable and we were on our way to rudely invite ourselves over."

"Rweally!?" Chekov did not have a goofy grin on his face. Honest. Really he didn't stop staring! "That would be grweat, rweally just, are you coming?" Chekov had danced away pulling on Sulu before he had halted and turned to the engineer holding the fuser.

Scotty sighed. "Aye should probably fix whatever you've been up to now, a'fore it affects anything else." He looked pinched. Upset, even proprietary. "You go-on" he looked to Sulu. "I've got someone to look after.

1701 chirped happily.

End …. and in the sequel there's a freaky foursome.