Title: Before I die

A/N: I have done this story long ago, and decided to come back to it, but im going to re-write it all over again, but better. This first chapter will sum up the previous stories first two chapters.

Sort of a different universe, but I guess it could be set as season 3 or 4, and Chloe knows about Clark, but that doesnt matter much.
Might switch POVS a bit, sorry. All knowing narrative is quite new to me, since I usually do first person narrative.

Novril pills, the name came to mind from the book Misery by Stephen King.

READ IT AND WEEP

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Chapter 1
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Weakness of Man

Dr. Gregory Himler, a content middle-aged doctor, and, of course, a workholic. He cursed softly, to God, and to himself. His work affected him deeply, and his marriage suffered for it. He wasnt oblivious, he put one and one together and realized that his wife was going to file for divorce any day now, and would obviously recieve custody, who would the judge pick? The loving stay at home mother of two? Or the lying cheating husband that she would imply him to be? She had been right to think that he was having an affair, but luckly she didnt know it was an empoyee at his workplace...and his best friends wife...and a sex trade worker, or whatever they called them these days. He had a lot of casual sex, one could say he was definetly "getting around". None of it was love, just a good fuck. Passion maybe, hell, even a midlife crisis! And come on, it didnt hurt to get to know the interns did it? Gregory laughed to himself a bit. He was sitting in his office, in his nice comfortable chair, with all sources of light obliterated. He was contemplating the revolver in his hands. Oh, Gregory could definetly admit to himself that he was a lonely, perverted, weak man. So weak, that even how much he tried, he would never be able to pull that trigger. It was just fun, to sit here, and think of what would happen after he would shoot himself. Who would clean up the mess? Maybe his secretary, Sara, would find him, so scared and shocked she would wet herself...her soiled long legs shaking, those legs that she had reluctantly opened for him, just minutes ago...

"Dr. Himler? Theres a Miss Sullivan here to see you?"
Gregory almost jumped out of his seat, Sara had come in. He shoved the revolver back into his top drawer, Sara eyeing him suspicously.
"You cant come in here without knocking first?" Gregory asked, clearly pissed off. Sara smirked.
"Well, you never asked me to before, you havent bought a new phone yet, so its not like I can just message you anymore" Sara said, discreetly reminding him of how he had knocked everything off his desk, to take her, days before. It had become an on-going thing, and he didnt want to get a new one yet when he knew that the same thing would happen, its not like he could take her home and tell his wife "Hey, didnt have room at the office, so im going to just go to out bedroom and fuck Sara here..."
"Oh yes, well, thanks for reminding me. Sullivan you say? Well, send her in, dont keep her waiting." He replied, yes he had been expecting Chloe Sullivan, he dreaded what he would have to tell her.

-
Three words

Chloe Sullivan walked casually into the doctors office. The blinds were down, and the lights were off. Chloe found this very un-nerving.
"Umm...the lights?" Chloe asked. Her doctor, Himler was his name, was sitting in his chair, arms crossed, he looked a little hassled.
"Oh, yes! Sara, please can you turn them up?" He asked his secretary. Chloe eyed her, and summed her up in three words. 'Tall, Sexy, Blonde". She wore bright red lipstick, which, in some odd reason, looked smeared. She smiled at the doctor. "Yes Dr. Himler." She turned around, and Chloe saw, that her white skirt rode up her ass as she did it, and by no means, on purpose. She turned the lights on and left, swaying left, right, in pefect rhythm. She was probably a wannabe runway model as a child. Chloe looked back to Dr. Himler, whos eyes remained in the place where the young and gorgeous secretary had just stood, with a lustful smile on his face.
"Um..you said you got the results back Dr. Himler?"
"Oh yes!" He said, looking a bit dazzed. "You..uh...better sit down miss Sulivan"
Chloe did, and gripped the arms of the chair as she did so. She really didnt know what to expect. Dr. Himlers hands shuffled as he sat there, contemplating Her face.
"Miss Sullivan, the headaches you have been having, well they are not caused by what you implyed to be "to much coffee"" He started, and by then, Chloe pretty much knew what was coming next, "They are, in fact, caused by a...tumor, a massive one, in your brain." He paused, caught her gaze before she could have time to fully react.
"You have a brain tumor Chloe."
no
no!
"Oh my god...it cant be." Chloe said to herself. "I..Its just too much caffeine! A lot of people who intake a lot of caffeine, like me, have headaches Dr. Himler, and, and..."
"Chloe." Dr. Himler interupted. "The tests dont lie, I just wish you would have come in earlier, and not disillusioned yourself into thinking that it was coffee!"
"So what happens now? What are you going to have to do to get rid of it?"
Dr.Himler sighed heavily.
"That brings us to the other topic of discussion...It is, by all means...it is to late. The tumor is very large, and covers your most vital membranes. It would be impossible to opperate on. Im very sorry Chloe, but...it is terminal."
Chloe sat in the chair, still as a rock, looking at the name plate on the desk. Re-reading it over and over again, but not really thinking much about it, just lost in thought. This was a mistake right? A Horrible, horrible mistake?

Dr. Gregory S. Himler
Dr. Gregory S. Himler
Dr.Terminal Tumor
Terminal Tumor
Im dying...
Im dying?
no!

Why the fuck hadnt she come earlier? Why? Why did she make up the stupid excuse to herself of it being to much coffee? She should have known that it had to have been something else, she was taking so much asprin these days, well over what it said could be taken in a day on the side of the bottle.
"What can you do?"
"I can recommend a Hospice"
"Hospice?"
"A place where people go when they are..."
"I know what a Hospice is, Dr. Himler" Chloe interupted. "Im not going anywhere to wait to die, there has got to be something you can do! people have escaped these things before havent they?"
"Yes, of course, but they had caught it in the early stages."
"Theres nothing?"
"Nothing."
Chloe stood up, and walked briskly to the door. "Chloe!" Himler said sternly. Chloe stood still, she didnt want anyone to see her crying.
"Yes?"
"I dont think Asprin will be enough to relieve the pain much, as the Tumor gets bigger, the pain will to."
"So your going to give me some heavy drugs Dr. Himler?" I ask, and laugh.
"Yes, Novril pills, they are quite new to the medical world, but proven to be safe."
Chloe could hear him writing something. There was a sound of the ripping of paper and Himler appeared beside her, and handed her the slip of paper.
"Thanks."
Chloe opened the door of the office, and sped out of the place, evading the questions of Sara, the incredibly sexy secretary. Oh how just minutes ago, I was alright, healthy, content. Nothing troubling but the queerness of Clark Kent, and the continuous longing for him.
Chloe was in the parking lot already, took her keys out, and speedily made her way to and in to her car. Oh how those three words had ruined her entire life. Or, what was left of it, she didnt know. She hadnt asked. But something inside her definetly told her it wouldnt be long. This...grotesque tumor growing inside her dead, would definetly make sure of that.
She thought all these things as she sat in her car. And then, the most terrible headache came, seeping slowly into her nerves, making her shake uncontrollably. Her palms flew to her forehead, pressing down hard. She started to hit herself. Hitting her forehead, over and over.
Fuck Fuck Fuck
Terminal. Terminal.Terminal.
This fucking thing is terminal.
Im going to die.
Then she did the only thing she could do.
Scream.

-
List

Chloe Sullivan sank into a cushion in the now crowded Talon. She was sipping a nice caramel Latte, carefree, now that she knew it wasnt the cause of her headaches. She still couldnt believe she had thought that they were the cause, and the headaches had gotten so bad, she had forced herself to go to a doctor.
Chloe laughed.
"Chloe whats so funny?" Lana had come up to her.
The end of my world as I know it.
"Nothing Lana." I replied, savouring a small smirk.
I feel high. Why do I feel like im not connected to my body? Maybe its these Novril pills Dr. Himler gave me.
Chloe laughed again, and Lana looked at Chloe with a suspicious smile, and laughed too.
"Gosh Chloe, you seem happier, for the last few days you've seemed...preoccupied."
"I suppose" Chloe said, beginning to wish that Lana would leave her alone.
Lana sat next to her. Chloe knew she was going to ask her about Clark or something, that was the only reason Lana would ever even take notice of Chloe.
Chloe decided to cut her off.
"Hey Lana, what would you do if you knew you were going to die?"
Lana seemed startled. "Well thats a different question, is something wrong?"
"Absoloutly not, I just wanted to know, id like to know what Miss Lana Lang would crave, if she didnt have any restrictions." Chloe said, making stuff up, and she noticed and dazzed look of lust and love cross over Lana's face. Chloe didnt need to know what she craved, it was obviously a certain Hot and Sexy Farmboy.
"Yes, well, I would first start planning all the things Id want to do, before I died, I mean." Lana said. "Like a list of sorts."
"Really? well thats quite interesting Lana." Chloe said, and thought about it, It actually was a good idea. With the headaches, it was hard to remember things and to concentrate.
Lana laughed. "Well, I have to get back to work now, my breaks not for another hour."
"Okay, ill let you get on to that." Chloe said quickly, now wanting to start to her new idea. Lana began to walk away, but stopped and turned around with a "Oh yes, and..." look on her face.
"Oh and Chloe, if you see Clark, tell him that I need to see to him."
"Uhh...Okay, sure do." Chloe says, trying to hide a grimance. God there relationship was the tanks anyways right? Lana had already told her about there in-bed problems. "I just think he might be scared to sleep with me...we have done it once already, but that was months ago." Was what Lana had said, and had observed Chloe, seeing if she would get jealous. And not admitting it, Lana had wanted her to. She was quite vain, but hid it well, with great success.

Now that Lana had finally left Chloe, she could ponder Lana's words.
"Make a list?" Chloe asked herself. "Might as well... not like I have to worry about much else anymore."
Chloe pulled out a pad of paper, that she had used to take notes when investigating with her beloved Clark Kent. No need for that anymore.
"Okay so...lets see." Chloe started, and began to write down, in a very abundant manner.

BEFORE I DIE:

1) Tell loved ones my diagnosis.

2) Slap some sence into Lana Lang. ( literally slap to, if I can manage it )

3) If I do slap her, sincerely apologise the next day.

4) Let go, and live for a change!

Chloe new this would mean rocking out and fucking around, which she could never bring herself to do, she had always wanted to stay compromised.

Chloe frowned. Fuck, didnt she ever really want something in her life that she couldnt bring herself to achieve before?

5) Confess my feelings to Clark Kent, and make sure he sees ME and not his "best friend"

Yes that was a good one, Chloe thought and smiled.

Chloes smile turned to a grimance, as she could feel the Novril wearing off, and the pain seeping towards her again. Crawling like a grotesque creature, in such a manner that would scare anyone. Chloe's entire manner disapeared. The pain, she had to suffocate it, before it overcame her like an animal, stalking its prey. She dug in her purse for the new prescription of Novril, found it, and greedily took out two pills.
'Fuck' she thought, as she had swallowed the pills with the rest of her latte.
I am so Fucked.

-
Telling Clark

Chloe sat in silence in her car, driving to the Kent farm.
Just her, her thoughts, and the tumor.
Chloe thought that it would be good to get number one over with. And she sadly realized that Clark was the only one she could tell. Her father was dead, her mother insane, she hated Lana, Pete was gone, and she lost his number.
She bet no one would come to her funeral.
10 bucks says the Kents will be the only ones, and Lana, if shes the hypocrite I think she is..
Chloe laughed.
Uh oh. Why do I always get this way after I have my fix of Novril?
Well, I better shape up before I tell Clark anything.

"Okay, here we go..." Chloe said to herself as she pulled into the kents driveway, passing their mailbox, with Kent printed on it. She parked closer to the barn, because she knew thats where Clark would be. Her wonderful, predictable Clark.
Hers?
Yes. Always. He may not know it, but he is, in my world.
In my world, he is.

Chloe got out of her car, gracefully. Her aura had changed in the days recent events. So does any person who has been given the premontion of their death. She strode to the barn, and was right to see that a light was on. She stood at the barn doors, admiring the bright red color of it, the feel of the wood, professionally fixed by super Clark. probably took him seconds, but all the same, it was still beautifully made. Chloe breathed in the air, feeling out her surroundings. Appreciating it all, so much more than she used to. Closing her eyes, she listened. The wind swept the hair from her hot face. She put her forehead against the wood of the barn door. For some reason, Chloe wanted to cry. To cry, and cry, and cry. She was going to miss it all. But not as much as Clark. Clark Kent. His neat plaid shirts. His smile. Oh! how wonderful his smile was. It could just lift you up, and embrace you, which Chloe fantasized him doing anyways.
Get a hold of yourself Chloe!
No. I dont need to anymore. Fuck I can do anything I want to. I have the right, im a dying girl.
Im a dying girl, just give me this one thing.

Lazily grapping a hold of the barn door and pulling it open, Chloe lets go. Lets go of her fears, herself.
Number four on your list, mind you!
Focus on your wants now, dying girl, not your needs.
I want you Clark.

Chloe walks in, leaving the barn door open. Towards the staircase, and up it, Chloe can just imagine Clark sitting at his telescope spying on Lana, like he used to do. But he hasnt met the dying girl yet, the one with no restrictions. The one with everything to live for, but cant live, not for long.

"Clark?" Chloe called as she walked up the staircase. When she reached the top she found Clark on his couch, with a picture frame in his hands, he was looking at it with content, but with a grimance on his face too. He looked as if determined to do something. Thats what it was, determination. But what about?

"Clark?" Chloe called to him, and he looked up at her, with an expression that clearly read that he didnt know she was there.
"Chloe, hey, I didnt hear you, for what do I owe to recieve the pleasure?" He says to her, picking himself up and towards his desk, setting the picture frame in his desk drawer. Chloe saw that it was a picture of miss uptight self concious Lang.
Chloe compromised her self, reminding herself of what she came to do. She walked to the couch and ploped down in a lazy manner.
"I have some news." Is all she could say.
He looked at her with those green eyes, everytime he looked at her she wanted to moan in pleasure. Whatever god made this man, was an artistic genious.
"News?" He asked, getting interested.
"Bad news."
Interest turns towards the bitter end of fear of the unknown, Clark is getting worried now.
Chloe gestured to the unoccupied side of the couch. "Come lounge with me, Kent." She says, suprised in the way her manner was, especially in the cirumstance of being there.
The dying girl is savouring, juicing out all she can get from this opportunity.
Chloe laughs, and Clark looks at her like she really has gone insane.
"Are you sure its bad news?" He says with a smile.
God, dont do that, it makes it so hard.

Why do I find myself enjoying this? Like its exciting news! I want to see his reaction. Oh god, please make him realize what i was worth in his life. If Lana was dying, would he cry more? I hope not. Fuck, I hope not.

"Yeah, im pretty sure" She answered, eyeing him. He appeared a little upset, i sure am fucking with him arnt I? I must be scaring him.
"Well what is it? Fess up!" He said, trying to make light of the situation. He was not looking at Chloe, just down at his hands, his large large manly hands, which were folded, and he was shuffling them, Like Dr. Himler did in his office, when he was awaiting something Unknown.
Unknown.
hmmmm...

"Clark, I went to the doctor today."
"Yeah?" He asks, eyebrows raised.
"I have a brain tumor."

He looks up at me, shocked. His hands dropped to his sides.
"What?" He asks.
"Its terminal." I say. Get the worst out, so it can only get better from now right?
"No, no it cant be!" He says, his eyes are gathering sadness, worry, pain, and gathering speed.
I dont like to see his eyes like that.
"Please say it isnt true, Chloe, you cant...d..d.."
"Die?" I say. "Well thats what Terminal means, Clark." She says a bit rudely, trying to avoid Clarks eyes. They want to make her burst into tears.
Clark grabs her arms, forcing Chloe to look in them.
"Please dont leave me Chloe." He says, with such pain, I can hear it in his throat. He has dealt with this before a lot hasnt he?
Im going to cry, I dont want Clark to be sad, and more alone. He has Lana. No, Lana is nothing, shes so selfish, always wanting to know Clarks secret. Wanting to know my Clarks secret.
I give up.
Falling into Clarks arms, dreaming of his embrace all the time, even in this situation it is wonderful. His hold of me tightens. So tight. He wants me, he wants to keep me forever doesnt he? Like a butterfly. We always did that as kids didnt we? Catch butterflys and stuff them in jars, but eventually Mrs.Kent would find out and make us let them go.
"They dont have long to live, so let them enjoy it while they have it" She would say.
What true words. So true.

Clarks breathing is hard, he must be crying.
I want to...I want to...kiss him.

4) Let go and live for a change!

Yes. I will.

"Clark" I say, in a whiny voice, no, a needy one. I need him right now. I straighten myself up, and look into his eyes, which he is trying to evade. Hes collapsing, his world is collapsing.
"Clark, I love you."
He looks at me, his eyes afresh. He must think I mean as a friend.

5) Confess my feelings to Clark Kent, and make sure he sees ME and not his "best friend"

See me Clark.

"I love you, I have for years now."

He gets it now. I have a feeling he will try to pull away, so I wont let him, not this time.

I move in to kiss him, and slowly, I see his eyes droop. He wants this too?
I kiss him, full on the lips. A very wet kiss, as we are both crying. Hes so beautiful. I am kissing a god now arnt I?
His breathing and mine have slowed, and we both hold on to one another. Whats going to happen when I die? I will never see him again will I? No I cant let that happen.
I move onto his lap, wanting more of him. My hands, balled in fists in his hair, bringing him so close to me. His arms are so warm. His perfect beautiful soul, and my, fragmented one, seen to combine, and share something, something more special than sex, marriage, or children.
Understanding.
Complete knowing of eachother.
Does he actually want this as much as me?

And then he does something so awful. So cruel.
He pulls away. I sit back, searching his face. Hes looking at the desk. The drawer. Where, in no doubt in my mind, Lana's picture is hidden.

I knew this would happen
Will I ever win against Lana Lang?
Even in the shadow of death, I cant seem to.
Have I no chance?

I need to leave. Before Clark gives me some lame excuse, saying the usual "were friends, we cant wreck that"
Well Clark Kent, your wrecking it anyways, by always doing this to me.

I stand, and Clark looks a bit dazed. His eyes read "dont leave".
But I want to, and I will.

"Where are you going?"
"See you at school tomorrow." I say, and quite heartless. "If you look past Lana, maybe you will see me, I mean really see me, you dont have much time left to do that."
"Chloe dont go."
Im already at the staircase, walking down. My destination: Car.
I can already feel the pain seeping into my head. Oh my god, will it ever end?
I need to leave and take the fucking drugs, before the grotesque monster of filth, formed like a man, comes and claims me.
Oh my god. My mind is fucking up again...Im losing it, slowly to the tumor.
I need to leave.
"Bye."

Running to my car, and driving away, is really blurry for me. All I know is that I was miles away from the Kent Farm, when I realized that I was speeding. Going so damned fast, running away from Clark, and the monster that was chasing me.
The monster, havent fixed that yet have I?

Crouching forward, I try to obtain my purse, which has slided down under the passenger seat. Taking her eyes off the road, she took only three seconds to capture it.
But, a lot can happen in three seconds.
In this case, a cow.
Oh yes, dead in the middle of the road, a classic white-with-black-spots cow. She swerves to the left, and avoids the cow, but not the steep hill she had swerved towards.

Screaming, screaming, as the car rolls around, seemingly hundreds of times. Im getting so dizzy, she thinks.
Finally, it stops, and she is yanked forwards, hitting her head on the dashboard.
She remembers black mist.
Slowly creeping towards her, through the broken windows, it comes to devour the dying girl, with hundreds of glass shards around her body and embedded thick in her hair.
Chloe can feel herself fading into it, the blackness.
The last thing she remembers, is thinking:
"Hills? Hills in Kansas?"

The car wreck is left unseen by anyones eyes, because most environmentalists have observed that animals keenly try to avoid these sorts of places.
Places where the green meteor rocks are.

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A/N: Okay well, please tell me what you think of the improved version, well, to those who have read the previous version. and if not, just tell me what you think of the story.

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