It begins with The Golden Goulet in a hospital bed.

"Where I am?" groans Goulet.

"Right where I want you." screams Brick Tamland.

"Now Brick, don't do anything you'll regret." cringes The Goulet.

"It's your birthday silly." Giggles Brick Tamland aka The Weatherman

"Here comes your birthday spankings!" says Brick

Brick then turns over The Golden Goulet and begins to violently spank him until he bleeds.

"Good times my friend. Good times." winks the Golden Goulet.

"Now Brick, I thought you were shot. How come you aren't injured?" questions The Golden Goulet.

"Yes" replies Brick.

"That is great my friend." replies Goulet.

Chuck Norris then enters the room.

"I thought you died." Grumbles The Chuck Norris.

"The Reverend Jesse Jackson is on the run and we must bring law and order to his doorstep." Says Norris while staring at his bulging biceps.

"We have a problem." Replies a nurse in her mid-twenties as she walks in on the three.

"The Chuck Norris is a papa?" winks The Chuck Norris.

" No, there is an African-American man waving a gun on the roof." Replies the nurse.

"Hmm, seems normal to me." ponders The Chuck Norris.

"Lets bring him justice." Howls Brick Tamland. Brick then whips out two machine guns and fires them in the air. As he twirls around he repeatedly hits the nurse which mutilates her.

"That's what you get for denying the truth." Whispers The Chuck Norris. "Lets go Brick."

As the two arrive on the roof, Brick is hit in the head and knocked out by a fluffy puppy.

"Suckidy duck." Replies The Chuck Norris.

"The Reverend is here to steal your soul Norris." Replies the reverend.

"Not if I do it first." Replies The Chuck Norris followed by an awkward silence.

"BLACK POWER!" screams the reverend as he runs towards Norris.

"CHUCK POWER!" screams The Chuck Norris as he runs towards the reverend.

The two engage in a bitter power struggle between good and evil.

"We are evenly matched Norris." Grins the reverend.

"Perhaps in brain power but not in gun power." Chokes Norris.

Norris pushes the reverend off of him and begins the gun show.

The two are both instantly hit in the neck with tranquilizer darts.

"That's just what the doctor ordered." Smirks George Clooney, former surgeon on the hit show E.R.

He then pulls out a magnum and blows off the reverend's head.

The End

Issue #5 very soon

Dedicated to my cousin Josh . . . . one heckuva cool guy and the reason I live. Get better soon buddy.