I Loved Him Back

by SevSnape13

His name was Severus Snape, and it was no secret he loved me. It was a secret that I loved him, greatly, but my parents forced Potter upon me, thus making me end my friendship with Severus. He said he loved me, and I loved him back. But then... when our friendship ended... so did his life...

I looked at him, into his ebony eyes, and I feel the pain radiate off of him.

"But, Lily!" He yelled, incredulously, but all I did was stare at him, hardly.

"Sorry Severus, but I cannot be your friend anymore," I told him, before I turned away, like so many others before me. I felt his gaze at my back, but I just continued to walk away from him. By walking away, I did not know that I would be the cause of him breaking, falling deeper into the darkness than ever.

X-X-X

The next day, Professor Dumbledore called me out of the Great Hall, and when he looked at me, his blue eyes held no sparkle of before. Instead, his eyes were sad and full of anguish. I could see he was hurting, but for what reason, I did not know. Not yet.

"Lily, I knew you were rather close to Severus," He began, and my suspicion rose at his use of were. "Alas, Severus is no longer with us, but he left this for you," he continued, putting a box into my hands. I stared at him, before I finally comprehended what he had just said.

"Not with us? What do you mean?" I asked, frantically, my green eyes panicked.

"My dear... Severus has... he has committed suicide," he said, before walking away, his eyes clouding with tears. I don't know how long I stood there, staring at where he was, my mind blank.

Then, I looked at the box in my hands. With gentle fingers, I pried it open. At the top, there's a letter, which I pushed aside for later. Under it, there's picture book, with moving pictures of us. Then, there's a teddy bear. The teddy bear that I gave him on his eighth birthday. I broke down, memories forced themselves onto the front of my mind.

I took out the letter once more, opening it, and I read it.

'Lily,

I had loved you, and I gave you everything and anything I could. Why you would choose that Potter over me, I could not comprehend. I am sorry for this. Thank you for everything. I loved you, I still do, and I always will.

Love,

Severus Snape'

I fell onto my knees, hugging the teddy bear to my chest.

X-X-X

Now, at the present time, 10 years after Severus... passed, it still cuts at my heart every time I see the teddy bear, the picture book or the letter. Many times, I wanted nothing more than throw those things away, like my husband, Remus, advised on more than one occasion, but I do not have the heart to throw Severus' things away. It would feel like I'm cutting myself from his memories. I do not want that.

Because I loved him too.