I Loved You Till It Killed Me

by Dysnomia Hybris

After Remy breaks up with Bobby, the Iceman doesn’t take it very well, and soon the repercussions catch up with the XMen. SLASH

Title: I Loved You Till It Killed Me

Fandom: X-Men

Author: Dysnomia

Rating: NC-17

Pairing: Remy/Bobby

Part: 1/1

Sequel/Series: A sequel to my ficlet 'Miss You', which can be found here: slash, angst, violence, AU because Remy never did more then flirt with Rouge.

Summary: After Remy breaks up with Bobby, the Iceman doesn't take it very well, and soon the repercussions catch up with the X-Men.

Notes: I decided I didn't want Rouge to be the bad guy in this fic, so I gave her and Bobby a close friendship. I've thought about the possibility of writing a prequel to this fic, which would showcase Bobby and Remy's developing relationship as well as Rouge's role in Bobby's life.

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He was being pressed down into the mattress, his lover's weight draped over him. Bobby's arms wrapped around Remy's neck, hands tangling in auburn hair. He sought out the thief's lips, pulling him even closer, until it seemed there wasn't anywhere left on him not being covered by that lithe body. Remy wasn't idle either. His hands roamed everywhere, sliding along a taunt stomach, downward to tease at a growing erection, then back up to stop at a nipple peaked with arousal. Agile fingers rolled the small nub between them, squeezing gently, eliciting soft whimpers from the blonde beneath him.

Bobby's hands ran down Remy's back, short nails leaving tracks that would be sure to raise questions the next time they were in the Danger Room. He stopped at his lower back, fingers kneading flesh just above the round globes that were just out of his reach. His senses were on high alert, every nerve singing with pleasure, making his skin sensitive to the touch.

Remy shifted suddenly, one knee pushing Bobby's legs apart, fitting between them, at the same time reaching out for the small tube on the nightstand, other hand never leaving its assault on Bobby's nipple. Remy managed to do al this without once breaking their kiss.

Remy squeezed a liberal amount of lube onto his fingers, looking Bobby in the eyes as he moved his hand lower. Bobby tensed for only a moment as still slightly cold gel touched his entrance, rubbing soothingly before Remy pushed one finger gently inside. By the third finger Remy had him panting, moving to impale himself on the fingers buried inside him. "Please Remy, inside me now!"

Remy grinned at him in response, removing his fingers and smearing some more lube on to his straining erection. He pushed Bobby's legs even further apart, pausing for a moment before sheathing himself in one quick thrust. Bobby gasped, back arcing, hands gripping at the sheets convulsively. His frustration grew as Remy refused to move, staying perfectly still, buried to the hilt. Finally he couldn't take it anymore. "Move Remy!"

"Not just yet. Dis tight little body of yours goin' to make Gambit lose control."

Bobby tried to move on his own, but Remy's hands quickly moved to rest at his waist, pinning him firmly down on to the bed. It was only a few minutes later when Remy released his grip and started to move, but to Bobby it seemed like hours. Remy pulled out slowly, till only the tip of his cock was left inside. He pushed back in just as slowly, making sure he angled himself to hit the blonde's prostate with every thrust. With one hand bracing himself on the bed Remy's other hand wrapped around Bobby's erection, stroking in time to his thrusts.

He sped up gradually, until he was slamming into his lover's body. The pleasure was building in Bobby's gut, and he didn't dare release his hold on the sheets, not wanting to leave finger shaped bruises anywhere on Remy. He was getting close to coming, the pleasure from the cock in his ass and the hand on his own cock combining to leave him close to losing control. One last small shift had Remy hitting his prostate directly, and was enough to send him over the edge.

Bobby came hard, his cum splattering against his and Remy's stomachs. His muscles contracted, and Remy was able to thrust twice more before being pulled over the edge as well. Remy collapsed on top of Bobby, and they both lay there panting for a minute before Remy rolled to the side, slipping out of his lover. Bobby moaned at the empty feeling he was left with. He moved to cuddle up to Remy, laying his head on the thief's chest. Bobby sighed contentedly, one hand absently tracing patterns on Remy's arm. "I love you Remy. You know that, right?"

Remy moved suddenly, rolling away and sitting up, leaving Bobby to fall flat on his face on the mattress. Pushing himself up on to his forearms Bobby turned to his lover, an angry remark ready on his lips. Which died the second he got a look at Remy. His mouth was twisted into an ugly sneer, his eyes narrowed in disgust and hate. "Dis thing we got between us isn't gonna work. Gambit's gettin' bored wit you. I'm leavin' you, goin' ta see if Rouge'll keep me interested. Goodbye Bobby, you were a fun ride Cher."

At the shock and despair showing on Bobby's face Remy gave a sharp laugh. "You sure are pathetic, hey homme. Even in your dreams you can't avoid havin' Gambit dump you, non?"

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Bobby woke with a start, a choked off sob making its way out of him. He curled up on his side, hands scrubbing the wetness off his tear streaked face. He was crying again. No matter how many times he told himself that he wasn't going to do that anymore, the tears still came. The memory of Remy's harsh words and cold eyes was starting to fade. Bobby let out a shaky breath. It was that dream again. The same dream that's tormented him for the past two months. "Every night. Every night it's the same damn dream."

He clutched the spare pillow to his chest, burying his face in the soft fabric. Fresh tears spilled when he realized the pillow no longer held Remy's sent. Time, and Bobby's constant cuddling had finally worn it all off. But if he closed his eyes and concentrated, his memories would bring up that familiar scent. It was an odd mixture of cigarette smoke, Drakkar Noir, and for reasons Bobby had never been able to figure out, the smell of a lakeside beach.

He hated this dream, hated that he had to constantly relive one of his moments with Remy, followed by words that the Cajun hadn't actually said. He hadn't been cruel when he'd left, he had been about as nice as you can be while breaking up with someone. Bobby's mind just insisted on supplying the words that would keep the pain freshest.

With his thoughts still on the man who'd left him, who he still loved with all his heart, Bobby managed to fall back into a fitful sleep.

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When he woke the next morning Bobby groaned when he realized it was only after six. Getting up he stumbled his way to the bathroom, cursing as he tripped several times on the junk scattered throughout the room. He'd never been the poster child for the cleanest room out of all the X-Men, but lately he couldn't be bothered to even attempt to pick up after himself.

Flicking on the lights, the blonde squinted at the brightness while making it to the sink. Grabbing hold of the sides of the sink, he stared at his reflection in the mirror. The man that looked back at him was hardly recognizable. Blonde stubble covered his chin, and he eyed the razor sitting on the shelf in the corner, knowing he'd have to shave soon, before even Ororo commented on the hair. His face was thinner, cheekbones more defined then ever. He'd lot a lot of weight in the last two months and it was defiantly starting to show. The skin under his eyes was dark, bruised looking from the lack of sleep. When the nightmares didn't wake him it seemed the sleep he did manage to get wasn't doing him much good. It was his eyes that startled Bobby the most though. Blue eyes that used to be bright, smiling, and mischievous were now dull, lifeless, and pain filled.

Overall he decided he pretty much looked like a wreck. He tried to take care of himself, he really did, there were just some days where all he wanted to do was curl up in bed and try to forget about everything. Forget about all the good times he'd had with Remy, before things had started to go bad. Forget about the dates, the laughs, all the warm kisses. Forget about all the times they'd made love, Remy's charming words, and softly whispered promises.

Shaking himself out of those thoughts Bobby quickly brushed his teeth before stripping off his sleep clothes. Grabbing the nearest shirt and pair of jeans, which just happened to be the same clothes he'd worn yesterday, he changed. Running a hand through sleep mussed hair to try to tame it Bobby glanced once more at his ragged appearance before leaving his room. He walked through the hallways, stocking feet making next to no sound on the carpeting. He kept his eyes on the floor as he walked, absently taking note that the carpet was getting pretty threadbare in places, and that he should probably let Jean know. His steps faltered slightly as he passed by Remy's room. How often had he made this same trip in the past? Although more times then not it was in the opposite direction. Back when the others hadn't known they were seeing each other Bobby had made countless trips back to his room at this time of the morning, sneaking back to his own bed before they got caught.

Bobby made his way downstairs, briefly contemplating going to the kitchen. Deciding he wasn't hungry enough to eat he changed direction to enter the rec room. Flopping down on the couch, Bobby reached for the remote he'd tossed on the table before finally going to sleep last night. Turning on the television Bobby started to channel surf, not really taking in what he was seeing, before stopping on the nature channel.

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Rouge woke up late in the day, it was almost noon before she finally went downstairs for the day. She started humming softly to herself, the good nights sleep leaving her in a good mood. About to pass the rec room, Rouge heard the TV droning on about a colony of bugs. Curious as to which of her teammates would watch a program like that, even though she had her suspicions about who would be in there, she pushed the door open quietly.

Her good mood quickly disappeared when she realized she was right about who was in there. The smile on her face faded as she took in Bobby's slumped posture and the blank way he was staring at the screen. Silently cursing Remy's name Rouge back tracked to the kitchen. She knew Bobby probably hadn't eaten anything yet today, she rarely saw him get up to go anywhere anymore. The last two months she'd watched as a heart broken Bobby made the trip from his room to the couch, sat there all day, then went back upstairs to his room, only to repeat the actions again the next day. Only on his 'good days' as Rouge called them, did he make the trip from couch to kitchen for even a small bite to eat.

She couldn't stand watching him waste away like this. Knowing there wasn't much she could do to heal his wounds she helped in the small way that she could. These last weeks Rouge had taken it upon herself to make sure he'd eat at least once a day. Two if she could manage to get away with it.

She fixed him up a plate, keeping it simple. She made a turkey sandwich, and tossed some carrot sticks and apple slices on the side, just in case he only felt like munching. Pouring a glass of milk, she hunted throughout the kitchen before finding the bottle of chocolate sauce Bobby kept hidden. Stirring, Rouge watched the white milk turn brown and sugary. Picking up the glass and plate she went back to the rec room. Bobby was still sitting where she'd left him. Trying to wipe the worry off her face, Rouge went and took a seat on the coffee table in front of him. She wanted to make sure she got the blonde's attention, but was willing to wait patiently for him to address her only when he was ready. She buried a pang of sympathy when it took him over a minute to even realize that he couldn't see the TV anymore.

Rouge almost cried when those broken blue eyes finally focused on her. She didn't like this Bobby. She wanted her old Bobby back. The one who would play practical jokes on her, laugh with her when she tried out another failed recipe and would still eat it, saying it was great. She wanted the Bobby who would flirt with her, when they both knew nothing would ever happen between the two of them. She wanted her best friend back, not this pale shadow of her friend, who still looked right but was so completely wrong at the same time.

She held the plate out as an offering. "Here ya go Sugah. Ya need ta eat somethin'."

Bobby took the plate, silently conceding to her wishes. He could see the worry and concern in her bright green eyes, no matter how hard she tried to hide it from him. He felt guilty that he'd been neglecting Rouge like he had been. It was bad enough that he was miserable, he shouldn't be dragging other people down with him.

Rouge was silent, biting her bottom lip, as Bobby slowly and methodically finished off the meal. She knew he was doing it for her, that he had no real desire to eat. She exchanged the plate for the glass once it was empty. He drank the milk with more enthusiasm then the food, because she'd made it just the way he liked it. Once he was done she took both dishes and set them down on the table beside her. "Thank you Rouge"

The words were softly spoken, barely a whisper, but she heard them. Heard the meaning behind the words. He wasn't just thanking her for the lunch, she could hear the unspoken 'thanks for being here for me during all this', that she knew he wouldn't ever say out loud. "It's not a problem, Sugah. Ah'd do it again for ya anytime."

The barest ghost of a smile flickered briefly across his face before disappearing again. "I know you would. That's why I love you so much and put up with your cooking."

Rouge's breath had caught when he'd made the joke, it was the first he'd made in weeks. But her hope faltered when she took another look at him. At the mention of love his face had fallen, and tears were once again pooling in his eyes. She put a gloved hand on his knee, rubbing soothingly, but it didn't work. As the first tears spilled Rouge abandoned the knee and instead moved to sit next to Bobby on the couch. She carefully pulled him into her arms, resting his head on her shoulder. She wrapped one arm snugly around his too thin frame, pulling him tight against her chest and side. The other hand started to run through his hair, stroking softly. After a moments hesitation his arms snaked around her waist then clung on tight. Rouge was suddenly glad for her strength as Bobby's arms tightened convulsively around her, sobs shaking his entire body. "Honey, don' cry. Please don' cry. He ain't worth all these tears of yours."

Even as she said it, Rouge knew he wouldn't agree with her, that he thought Remy was worth it. Worth all the pain and tears, because Bobby was still very much in love.

Rouge continued stroking Bobby's hair softly, hugging him back tightly, desperate to give him whatever comfort she could. His tears were starting to soak through the material of her shirt. That wetness, combined with the heart wrenching sobs coming from the man in her arms, caused tears of her own to spill. Bobby didn't notice her silent crying until one of the tears dripped off Rouge's chin on to his forehead.

He pulled away enough to be able to glance up at her in confusion. Red rimmed eyes and a tear streaked face took on a look of shock and disbelief. "Why are you…oh…I'm sorry."

The last bit of his sentence was whispered, colored with shame. Rouge realized that he was blaming himself for making her cry. Not wanting him to feel more guilt and get even more upset, Rouge grabbed Bobby by the shoulders, and giving him a good shake she said firmly, "Robert Louis Drake this is not your fault. Ah'm cryin' cause it hurts ta see ya in so much pain. I don't want ya ta go an' blame this on yerself. Ya hear me?"

Bobby nodded dumbly. The use of his full name told him just how serious Rouge was about this.

"Good. Now are ya goin' ta talk ta me yet or are ya still keepin' everythin' locked up inside that head of yours?"

Bobby stared hard at her, blinking rapidly. She could all but see the thoughts quickly going through his head. Rouge hoped he'd finally be comfortable enough to open up to her about Remy.

Another nod from Bobby had her smiling gently in gratitude. Bobby was still curled up next to her, pretty much seated on her lap and she knew he'd be more comfortable there during their talk so she let him be. The blonde was chewing on his bottom lip nervously, watching her silently, waiting for her to start the conversation. Which was more then all right with Rouge, it would give her a chance to ask only the questions she really needed an answer to. Some of the questions she wanted to ask Bobby she really had no right to know the answers, they were too personal.

Green eyes narrowed in thought briefly before Rouge nodded, coming to a decision. Staring into the sad blue eyes of her best friend Rouge chose her words carefully. She was almost certain that she had already come to the right conclusion about something but wanted a definite response. "Remy was the one ta end things, wasn't he?"

The flash of pain was all she really needed but Bobby answered her, voice thick with sorrow. "…Yes. He didn't think things were working out anymore. He told me that he just didn't feel the way he used to about me anymore. He even told me that it hadn't been anything I'd done that made him leave. But he was lying to me when he said that. I don't think he'd figured out that I'd learned to tell when he was lying. His fingers twitch, like he wants to charge a card. But you know what? I've spent everyday since then trying to figure out what I did wrong. What did I do, or what aspect of me, made Remy stop loving me. And do you want to know what else? I haven't been able to figure it out. No matter how hard I think, how often I go over our relationship in my head, there's nothing in particular that tells me 'this is why he left.' That if I hadn't done this, or hadn't said that, that I'd still have Remy. Maybe I got too clingy, maybe I didn't get clingy enough, and should have pushed him to share a room. Maybe he wasn't attracted to me anymore, or I really wasn't good enough to satisfy him anymore. Maybe my nonstop talking and joking finally annoyed him enough that he realized he'd never to able to live with me. But maybe, just maybe, he finally realized that he deserves someone so much better then me, that I would never keep him happy, that he'd be trapped with me. Hell, I have no idea why he left me, all I know is that somehow it was my fault, I drove him away, I'm the only reason I hurt so much."

Bobby hadn't meant to say that much, originally he'd wanted to stop after the simple yes, but once he'd started talking, he just couldn't stop. Bobby actually felt better now, not by much, but better then before. Now that he'd released some of what he's been feeling it was almost like he'd come to accept their breakup a little bit more.

After Bobby had finished his tirade Rouge just sat there, stunned into silence. He'd told her so much more then she'd expected to ever be able to pry out of him, and it hadn't taken any real effort on her part either. She'd also learned more then just the answers to some of her questions. Bobby had also showed her just how insecure he was, how he thought so little of himself, not thinking he was worthy of Remy. Believing that he was the reason, the only reason, that Remy ended things. Now there was only one question left that Rouge wanted to ask. She already knew what his answer would be, but wanted to find out to what depth his feelings still went for the Cajun. Rouge paused before asking, bracing herself for another round of watching Bobby spill his heart out to her. "Do ya still love Remy?"

His eyes met, and held hers when he started talking. "You know I still do. I still love him with all of my heart, love him more then I ever thought I could love another person. Do you have any idea just how ecstatic I was when Remy actually started showing interest in me, even as a friend. I mean, yeah, I'd wanted more, but at the time I could barely come to terms with him putting up with me enough to spend any time with me, never mind imagine things ever going further. But things got better when he finally kissed me, and I was happy Rouge. Happier then I've ever been. It was a dream come true to finally be held in Remy's arms, all the charm he used to have for the ladies being directed at me. Just being in the same room with him would leave me feeling completely at ease, like nothing could touch me as long as he was with me. Left me feeling like we were the only two people in the room, no matter how crowded it was. I think Remy knew that I was in love, even though I never had the guts to mutter anything along that line to him. He never told me he loved me either, but I was so sure, so damn sure that he felt the same way, especially after Antarctica. But I guess I was wrong, it was my mistake to assume that Remy loved me back."

The guilt Rouge had been trying to keep back for a while now came flooding back at Bobby's words. "Bobby, about Antarctica, Ah'm so very sorry. Maybe if I hadn't done what I did things woulda been different."

Bobby shook his head sadly. "No Rouge, things would've turned out the same. He was drifting away from me before then. It wasn't feeling like it was just the two of us in a room anymore. I was alone again, even when he was right there next to me, pretending nothing was wrong. After Antarctica it was better again, more like it used to be, but that didn't last. I'd seen it coming too, had the time to either prepare myself for the inevitable, or break things off myself before I got in too deep. I had myself convinced that I was over him, believing him to be dead in the snow. But when he showed up, starved and half dead, everything came flooding back. When he started acting like he cared for me again, I couldn't resist him, even though deep down, I knew he was just using me for comfort. But that's because I'm a sucker, I was so in love that I was willing to throw away my pride and better judgment, just for another chance to be with him."

He gave her a small self-depreciating grin, and even though he'd done nothing but talk about Remy, to Rouge it looked like some of the sadness was gone from Bobby's eyes. Thinking he'd want to be alone again, Rouge gave him another quick hug before getting up and grabbing the empty dishes. Bobby's hand on her arm stopped her. Taking the dishes from her he said, "Here, let me bring these back for you, since they're actually mine. Please, just stay here, and when I come back we'll watch, actually really watch, some TV. As long as it's not the nature channel."

Settling back on the couch Rouge nodded, picking up the remote and starting to flick through the stations. Watching the blonde leave the room, Rouge was glad she'd finally tried to get him to talk, instead of only feeding him. His steps looked lighter then they had since this all started, the crushing weight of his grief lifting to a more bearable amount. As the door swung shut behind Bobby, Rouge let out a sigh of relief, happy she could help her friend, if only a little.

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Jean honestly hadn't been eavesdropping, really she hadn't. She had just happened to be passing the rec room when she'd heard Bobby crying. Besides, the anguish pouring off him would be enough to alert any telepath in the area. She'd had to block him from her mind, since his pain was making her start to cry as well. Jean had stayed rooted to the spot while Rouge comforted Bobby, hadn't moved a muscle during all of Bobby's heartfelt confession. Even Jean hadn't realized just how deep his feelings went for Remy. Sure, she'd seen how happy he had been during those months, but she'd never thought to attribute all that happiness to Remy alone. Going back through things in her head, Jean could see it now, see the love Bobby had tried desperately to hide from his lover, barely managing to stop it from showing in his eyes.

When she heard the two moving around, heard Bobby's offer to take the dishes, Jean snapped back to herself. She really didn't want to be caught standing in front of the door, what she'd overheard was private, not something to be shared. Panicking, she moved quickly, heading to the only other door she'd ever make it to in time, which just happened to be in a closet. Ignoring the smell of moth balls and dust she darted inside, managing to close the door just in time. The same moment the door clicked shut behind her, Jean heard the rec room door swing open, and Bobby walk past on his way to the kitchen. Waiting a minute to be sure Bobby was gone and Rouge wasn't about to follow, Jean exited the closet, automatically heading to wherever her husband was.

Her feet took her to the hanger, where Scott had spent the last few days doing repairs to the Blackbird. She must have been projecting some of her shock and contemplation because he met her at the door, concern for her coming across the link they shared. The redhead sent back a wave of reassurance, accompanied by a warm smile. As a sudden impulse Jean wrapped her arms around her husband tightly, kissing him deeply, then snuggling into his chest. She looked up at him intently, whispering, "I love you Scott, I want you to know that. I'll always love you, no matter what we go through."

"I love you too Jean, always." After a pause he added, "What brought this on, not that I mind?"

Jean shifted in his arms, making herself more comfortable. She blushed in embarrassment, realizing she'd have to admit to having eavesdropped. "I overheard Bobby and Rouge in the rec room. I guess she finally managed to pry information out of Bobby regarding Remy. It made me think, because Bobby never told Remy just how he felt, and look how that went. Would things have turned out differently if he had confessed to Remy? I just wanted to make sure you knew I loved you."

"I know you love me, I won't ever forget that." He gave her a quick squeeze.

After a moment of quiet Scott spoke up again. "How's Bobby doing anyway? Do you think he's improved at all? I'd like to know when we can start counting on him again. I admit that I miss his style, and heaven help me, even his mouth out in the field."

"Actually, this talk with Rouge seems to have perked him up a bit. I think he can come back anytime he feels up to it, we'll just have to keep an eye on him for awhile, just to make sure he's going to be okay."

Scott nodded his acceptance. "I could deal with that. I keep an eye on everyone anyways, it wouldn't be that much of a difference."

Jean smiled, suppressing a laugh and the mother hen comment she wanted to use, instead she changed the subject. "So how are the repairs going?"

Hearing the laughter in her voice, Scott scowled behind the visor, knowing the direction his wife's thoughts had gone. He decided to let it go for now, he'd have a chance to get back at her later. "The repairs are almost done, there's just a few last minute things to work out then everything will be finished."

"I'll give you a hand, then you'll be free to take me out to dinner."

Jean's laughter echoed throughout the hanger as she made her way to the jet, leaving her husband standing stunned into place behind her.

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After quickly throwing the dishes in the sink Bobby started to make his way back to Rouge. He was actually looking forward to spending some time with her watching TV. For the last couple of months all he'd wanted to do was be alone, spending as little time with other people as possible. If he'd known talking would have made him feel better he might have done it weeks ago.

Turning the corner on the way back to the rec room Bobby walked right into a very solid chest. He stumbled backwards, barely managing to stay on his feet. He didn't even have to look up to find out who he'd bumped into, the scent gave it away. Biting his bottom lip the blonde looked up nervously, eyes meeting surprised red on black. The sight of those familiar alien eyes caused a sharp spike of pain to spread through his chest, settling in his stomach, leaving an icy, heavy feeling in its wake.

This was the first time he'd seen Remy since the man had said goodbye. The thief had left the mansion the next day, telling Ororo that he'd be back, but needed to get away for a little while. Storm hadn't known at the time that he'd left Bobby the night before, but word had spread quickly through the mansion, especially since Jean had felt Bobby's heart break.

Bobby had known it would be hard to see him again when Remy finally showed his face, but it was so much worse then he'd thought it would be. Remy looked exactly the same as when he'd left. It looked like he'd had no problem dealing with their breakup. And that hurt, hurt almost as much as the initial goodbye. Here he was falling apart and Remy didn't even look like he'd lost any sleep over it. But now there was more then just the pain, Bobby's anger started to grow as well. Why should he be the only one of the two suffering?

When Remy started to look uncomfortable Bobby realized he'd been caught staring for a while. Flushing, he looked away from Remy's face, focusing on the bags held in those long fingered hands he knew so well. It looked like Remy was back to stay. Gesturing vaguely at the bags Bobby decided to break the silence. "Ummm…I guess you're back now, huh?"

Remy stared at him intently for a moment before answering, the expression on his face one Bobby couldn't interpret. "Oui, Remy's back to stay now, you okay wit that homme?"

Bobby's heart clenched at the question. Was Remy really asking him for permission to live in the mansion? Taking a second to compose himself, the blonde tried to reply as casually as possible, trying to make it seem like he didn't care one way or another. "Yeah, sure, of course I'm okay with it, it's up to you to decide where you want to live."

It sounded like a lie, even to his own ears. He knew Remy would be able to see right through him. And sure enough, the skeptical look on the redhead's face told Bobby just how unconvincing he sounded. He'd never been able to lie very well, especially when it came to Remy.

It looked like Remy wanted to leave, he kept glancing at the hallway beyond Bobby, but Bobby wasn't ready to let him go just yet. No matter how badly things had ended, it had still been over two months since he'd last seen Remy, and despite the pain, he'd still missed the Cajun, had still worried about him while he was gone. "So…where have you been all this time?" Again he tried to be nonchalant, but failed miserably, the curiosity evident in his voice.

"Jus' been travelin' round de country, goin' to a few o'the placed dat I've been wantin' to see. Jus' had to check out Canada, see what Logan's always goin' on 'bout. Bit too cold fer Gambit, bring back too many bad memories. 'Cided to head down to California, nice an' warm down dere, an' the beaches were a nice change from New York. 'Sides, dere were lots of distractions too." The smile on his face told Bobby just what kind of distraction it was. The female kind.

Disappointment flooded through him. He should have known that Remy would go right back to flirting with the ladies. It was wrong of him to have assumed that Remy might have actually waited a while before starting his old habits again. Bobby closed his eyes, desperately trying to hold back the tears that wanted to leak out. He must have been silent for too long because he could hear Remy shifting around, probably wanting to get by him. His eyes flew open in shock when he felt Remy's hands on his shirt collar, finger tips just barely brushing along his neck. After a few gentle tugs, Remy's warm hands slid down the front of his shirt, brushing the wrinkles out. Bobby's traitorous heart sped up, thumping almost painfully in his chest. Then the hands were gone, leaving the blonde feeling cold.

"Sorry 'bout bumpin' into you, I roughed you up a bit, non? Got you all straightened out now though."

Any response Bobby would have had was cut off by the shrill sound of the alarm klaxon going off, followed closely with Jean's voice in his head. 'Any available X-Men report immediately to the hanger. We have an emergency.'

"I jus' get back an' already the excitement is startin'." Remy ran off, leaving Bobby standing in the hallway all alone.

Bobby slumped back against the wall, waiting for his wildly beating heart to slow back down to normal. That was all it took for his feelings for Remy to come flooding back. All he'd done was straighten his clothes! Was he really so pathetic that such an impersonal touch would affect him that much? There had been nothing sexual about Remy's touch, he'd have done the same to anybody he'd run into.

The alarm still blaring finally snapped Bobby back to reality. Jean had said any available X-Men, and it had sounded urgent. Bobby made the decision. It was about time he got back into the swing of things at the mansion and actually start to pull his own weight. He ran off after Remy, hoping that everyone hadn't left yet.

Bobby came skidding into the hanger just as Scott was finishing up his pre-mission speech. If Scott was surprised to see him, the visor hid the reaction. "Hurry up and change if you're going to come along, we're leaving in two minutes."

Bobby nodded, rushing into the change room, stripping his clothes off as he made his way to his locker, hopping on one foot as he tried to pull of his jeans. He appreciated the fact that Scott didn't question him, didn't ask if he was sure, if he was ready. Tugging on his uniform quickly, Bobby ran back to the Blackbird, getting there just in time, following Jean up the ramp. Flopping into a chair near the front Bobby looked around, seeing which X-Men were coming along for the ride. Scott and Jean were up front in the pilots chairs, and other then himself, the only ones on the plane were Remy and Rouge.

Fidgeting in his seat, Bobby tried to ignore the nervous butterflies in his stomach. He hadn't had any training sessions in the Danger Room in the past two months, and wasn't sure whether he was still in shape. He could admit to himself that even the short trip to the hanger and change room had left him winded. Hopefully this wasn't going to be too difficult s mission. Getting up, Bobby wandered to the cockpit, and plastering a sheepish smile on his face, cleared his throat.

Jean was the one who turned around, a warm smile on her face. She had felt his nervousness from the moment he'd stepped on the jet, and wanted to help put him at ease. "Yes Bobby? What is it that you need?" She asked the question, even though she had a pretty good idea what he'd come up here for.

"I, uh…since I kinda missed the briefing I don't really know what I'm flying to, well, other then probable danger."

"It's Sabretooth. It seems he's managed to recruit a group of four mutants to work with him, and right now he's attacking a small town just on the outskirts of New York. We're not exactly sure why Sabretooth had chosen this particular town. Scott assumes he's doing this just to get our attention, and that this town was the one he was closet to at the time. His companions are unknown, so we'll have to tread carefully until we know what we're dealing with."

Bobby nodded, turning around to head back to his seat. He steadfastly refused to look in Remy's direction. It still hurt too much to meet the redheads burning gaze. He sat back down, hands gripping the armrests tightly. He spent the rest of the trip steeling himself for the upcoming battle. Bobby was just going to have to come with terms with the fact that he'd have to fight alongside Remy once again. He'd shove everything personal to the back of his mind and treat Remy like any other teammate. Or at least he would try. He didn't know how successful he was going to be but he figured all he needed was some practice, and eventually out in the field Remy would be nothing but a teammate once again. And not the man he loved with every ounce of his being, the man who had broken his heart.

"Strap yourselves in everyone, we're going to be heading in for our landing."

Scott's announcement jolted Bobby back to reality. He scolded himself for already letting Remy distract him, and they weren't even on the ground. He couldn't let thoughts of Remy control him like that, doing so in these kinds of situations would just end in him getting killed. The blonde shook himself mentally, trying to banish any thoughts except for what was awaiting the X-Men when they disembarked.

Scott brought the Blackbird down with only the slightest of bumps. He'd landed the jet slightly outside their destination, to try to get some element of surprise, though it wouldn't take too long for Sabretooth to smell and hear them coming. Lowering the ramp the group filed out, senses on high alert for danger. As soon as he stepped off the plane Bobby iced up, not wanting to risk being caught with his guard down. Besides, he felt better shielded by the ice. It was just one more thing that helped to separate him from Remy. After Antarctica, Remy avoided the cold, avoided him, whenever he was in ice form.

As a group they headed towards the town. As they drew closer they could hear the sound of crashes, smashing, and explosions. Just as they passed from the safety of the open area into the closer quarters caused by the buildings, Jean stiffened. Before she could give a warning, a green blast hit the ground at Rouge's feet, singeing her boots. Rouge's head snapped up, following the lingering trail the blast had burned into the air. She was up and in the air a moment later, flying to face the mutant hovering above the buildings two hundred feet away, while the rest of the X-Men made a run for cover.

Scott's voice in their heads gave them their newest instructions. 'We need to make our way to the town's center. That is where Sabretooth and the others will be. Rouge, I'll need you to try and lead this one back to where the others are situated. Try to get back to the rest of us as soon as possible, I don't want all of us to get split up. I'll take point, followed by Jean. Bobby I want you after Jean, and stay close. Remy, you're to take the rear, watch our back, in case another of Sabretooth's men manage to get behind us.'

Even as he moved to follow orders, Bobby's stomach lurched at the unintentional slight towards him. Usually it wouldn't matter if he stayed close by, Scott was just wanting to baby-sit him. Really, he couldn't blame Scott and Jean for not trusting in his abilities anymore. He barely thought anything of them himself. Already Bobby was doubting how smart his decision to come along was. He really should have spent some time in the Danger Room, making sure he was in top form again before going out in the field.

As a group, minus Rouge, they moved towards their goal, moving as quietly as possible. A few minutes later they realized there really hadn't been a need to move quietly. Standing out in the open, in the middle of a park, stood Sabretooth, flanked by three other mutants. They had obviously been waiting for the X-Men to show up. They stopped when they were close enough to talk, and faced off in front of the other group. Bobby found himself standing in front of an awkward looking teenager, who couldn't have been more then sixteen years old. The boy looked almost as nervous as Bobby felt. He kept tucking longish blonde hair behind his ear, which would fall in front of green eyes, which were darting nervously to each of the X-Men's faces.

Bobby took his own look around, wanting to know what they were up against. With the exception of Sabretooth, all the others with him were young, with the oldest probably being nineteen at the most. So now Sabretooth was recruiting children in his fight against the X-Men.

Scott moved to stand directly in front of Sabretooth, ending up slightly ahead of the other X-Men. Sneering at the mutants assembled before him, Sabretooth addressed Scott, disdain evident in every word he spoke. "No Wolverine, eh? That's too bad. Was looking forward to giving the runt a good beating. I'm just gonna have to settle for one of you then."

That was the end to any conversation that was going to occur. Sabretooth gave a sharp whistle. That seemed to be the signal, since all of his men rushed forward, choosing an X-Men to face off against.

Bobby found himself faced with the blonde teen he'd been watching before. The boy still looked nervous, but now his expression was laced with determination. Before Bobby could act the blonde pointed his hands at the ground, and immediately he felt the tremors. Bobby jumped to the side just in time, as the ground he'd been standing on a second ago exploded. He hit the grass and rolled, chunks of dirt and rock raining down on him. Back on his feet a moment later Bobby glanced at the crater that had been created, then muttered to himself, "This might not be as easy as I was hoping it was going to be."

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The teenager Rouge flew to meet didn't react, didn't try to flee, as she barreled towards him. It looked to Rouge like he was sizing her up, and she took the chance to get a good look at him as well. He looked to be about eighteen. Spiky black hair was streaked with bright blue and green. Multiple piercings adorned his ears, lip, and eyebrow. He wore a ratty black T-shirt, the name of a band faded to the point of obscurity. Ripped jeans and a pair of skate shoes showed just how new he was to fighting, not bothering with the uniform most chose to wear.

He smirked at her as she drew close, twin green blasts of energy starting to emerge at his fingertips. The teen let the blasts loose, and they headed right for Rouge. Her eyes widened at the speed of the blasts coming for her. It took all her skill to dodge the projectiles. When Rouge saw another set coming for her she groaned mentally, already annoyed by the kid. She twisted to the side, barely managing to avoid the first. Rouge wasn't as lucky with the second one. Despite doing a flip in midair, the blast caught her hard in the chest, knocking the air out of her lungs. Losing her concentration Rouge started to fall. She managed to catch herself before falling too far. The teen took advantage of the situation and sent out two more blasts, both of them slamming into her back, sending her crashing into the side of a warehouse.

The force of the fall sent her right through the wall she'd hit, her body going through concrete and steel, before skidding to a halt underneath half the building. Rouge lay still for a moment, buried under the debris, trying to catch her breath. Rouge took quick stock of herself, making sure she wasn't hurt. The blasts and trip through the building hadn't done much more then leave what would probably soon be bruises. Other then being pretty sore for a couple of days Rouge figured she'd be fine. Now she was really pissed. There was no way she was going to let some little punk get the best of her.

Gathering her strength Rouge burst out of the rubble pile, darting quickly towards the youth. He looked startled, and quickly tried to gather more energy to throw at her. But there was no way Rouge was letting him hit her again. She got to him first, grabbing his wrists tightly, forcing his hands to point at his own chest. His deer in headlights look increased when he realized Rouge had turned the tables on him. Fear and panic started to creep into his eyes, and Rouge found herself almost feeling sorry for him. Almost.

Glaring at him she shook her head. "Nuh uh, Sugah. No more o'these cute little blasts o'yours. What do ya think yer doin' hangin' out with a guy like Sabretooth. That route ain't gonna get ya what ya want. All Sabretooth's way will get ya is dead. Now are ya goin' ta behave or am I goin' ta have ta teach you a lesson?"

Rouge watched as confusion clouded the pair of steel gray eyes in front of her. Teeth came out to nibble and flick at the ring in his bottom lip. Rouge could see the war he was raging inside and decided to see if she could help him win. Banking on the fact that his appearance was nothing more then the rebelling teenager phase Rouge spoke quietly but firmly, wanting this to get through to him. "Look hun, this can't be the kind of life that ya want. Yer still young, ya still have a choice. It'd be nothin' at all ta hide yer mutation, you can still live a completely normal life. Yer jus' a kid, I'm sure yer parents miss ya, want ya ta come back home. I know that no matter what's happened between ya guys that they love ya, and always will. I know that I'd love ta be able ta go back ta a regular life, I'd jump at the chance, so I don' think ya should give this chance up. Please. Think about it."

The teen nodded mutely, arms going limp in Rouge's grasp. She let him go cautiously, ever wary that this was a trap. When he did nothing but float in front of her, she smiled at him, happy that he'd made the right choice. "So jus' who am I talkin' to anyways? Never did catch a name. I'm Rouge by the way."

It took him a minute, but a soft voice finally answered her question. "Uh…Terry. My name's Terry Carter."

"Well then Terry, I'm sorry for what I'm about ta do, but it's for yer own good. Don' want ya ta get hurt." As she spoke Rouge moved quickly, punching Terry just hard enough to knock him out, catching him as he started to fall.

Bringing him back to the ground, Rouge brought him to the relative safety of another warehouse. Laying him gently on the dusty floor, Rouge winced at the purple bruise already blooming on Terry's right cheek. That was going to hurt when he woke up. Hopefully he'd forgive her for the cheap shot.

It was just as Rouge turned to leave that everything went horribly wrong. She staggered as Jean's mental scream ripped through her mind. She snapped around to the direction of the battle, her heart pounding furiously, a sense of dread washing over her. She took off towards the battle, cursing the fact that her fight had left her at the opposite side of town, away from the other X-Men. Rouge prayed that she wasn't too late, that there was going to be something that she could do to help by the time she got there.

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Scott had assumed that it would be him that would end up pairing off with Sabretooth. As the respective leaders of their groups, it would have been the most natural assumption to make. So Scott was more then a little surprised when instead of Sabretooth, it was a pink and white blur that jumped in front of him, grabbing his arm. In a flash of bright white light and a wave of nausea so severe he nearly threw up, Scott suddenly found himself nowhere near the park. The blur darted away from him again, before stopping far enough away that Scott had to squint to make out the features. A young girl stared back at him, body quivering with pent up energy. She had bright pink hair, and was wearing a white track suit. Wide brown eyes looked at him in nervous anticipation.

Waiting for his stomach to settle from the not so friendly teleportation, Scott tried to judge just how far away from the others he'd been brought. It wasn't too hard to make out the sounds, and he could have sworn that he could still hear Remy's voice. He needed to get back, had to get back to watch over Bobby, he was worried about him. Wanting to make this as short a fight as possible, but not wanting to kill the girl, Scott adjusted his visor, to the point where any hits from him would stun and hurt, but not do any lasting damage.

He tried to be quick about it, tried to knock her out before anything really started. She dodged at the last minute, blinking out of existence, then reappearing ten feet away. His blast hit the wall behind her former position, leaving nothing more then the slightest of pockmarks. He tried again, and again the red beam missed its mark. No matter how fast Scott thought he was, she was always a little bit faster.

At every shot Scott would steadily make his way forward, getting ever closer to the others. Soon he could make out the ice form of Bobby glinting in the sun. A little bit further had nearly everyone else in his field of view. He breathed a sigh of relief. He couldn't see where Jean was, but he knew instinctively that she was doing good, and wasn't too far away, just out of sight. Now that he was able to keep tabs on everyone, Scott could put his entire focus on the task at hand. But first there was the small matter of Bobby. Keeping an eye on the girl, he watched to see how Bobby was doing.

As far as he could tell Bobby was doing just fine. It looked like he was the one in control of the fight. In fact, it seemed to Scott that it wouldn't be much longer before the blonde had the kid beat. In that moment Scott realized that he was proud of Bobby, proud of the fact that despite his personal pain, he was able to bounce back. That he was able to go back to their dangerous life without really needing an adjustment period to help ease him back in.

He could see that Bobby was doing just fine, that he really didn't need to keep a constant watch of him. That was good enough for Scott. He started paying closer attention to the girl zipping back and forth in front of him, looking for any kind of weakness that he'd be able to exploit. Jean interrupted him before he found anything. 'Everything is good on my end Scott. I got stuck with a fellow telepath. Fortunately his skills weren't nearly as advanced as mine and it didn't take much to deal with him. Good luck Scott, I'm heading back to the others.'

It was after his next few shots that Scott found what he'd been looking for. There was a pattern to the way she moved. Left or right, it didn't matter which direction, it was ten feet to the side either way. He smiled inwardly, not wanting to alert the girl that he'd caught on to her little game. He let out another blast, and as she blinked away, sent another immediately to the left, hoping he'd chosen right. When she blinked back into the path of the beam, Scott gave a silent victory cry. She had time for a startled scream and a look of surprise before crumpling to the ground, unconscious.

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Bobby tries to ignore the irritating feeling the bits of dirt left on him. He didn't have time to brush himself off so he'd just have to live with it. Decided he really didn't have time when the ground started to tremble again. Bobby knew what to expect this time, and he was ready. Pushing himself up from the ground with a quickly made ice slide, Bobby got out of the way before the ground was turned into another pit. What Bobby wasn't able to do was predict that the teen's powers extended to things other then the ground. Thirty feet in the air, on his way to a nearby building, the boy aimed his shockwave at the base of his slide. He felt the tremors, could hear the crackling sound of the ice starting to splinter, and he had enough time to look down to see the ice breaking beneath him.

His surprise wore off fast, and as soon as there was no longer anything solid under his feet Bobby was already moving. Ignoring the jagged ice shards that flew around him from the destroyed slide, Bobby twisted into the fall, trying to keep his feet pointed towards the ground. He managed to form a crude ramp underneath him, it wasn't perfect but it was enough to make a soft landing.

Bobby changed the direction of the ramp, swinging himself towards the boy who looked ready to try to shatter some more ice, himself included. He formed a bat out of ice, readying himself as he drew closer. Not wanting to hit him in the face, Bobby went right past him, pivoting quickly before the teen had a chance to turn around. When he was within range he swung the bat, striking the teen hard across the back. The kid dropped like a stone, without making any noise. His morals made him stop and check on the boy. He had to make sure he was alright, even if he had tried to kill him. Rolling him over, Bobby made sure he was breathing, and once satisfied that the teen was alive just down for the count, Bobby let his attention wander to what was going on around him.

He couldn't see Jean at all, and Scott was only a tiny speck in the distance. He could just barely make out who he assumed was Rouge in the sky across town. It wasn't until he turned around that he finally spotted Remy. He took a minute to admire the lithe grace and agility that seemed to be second nature to Remy. But paying closer attention to what was going on around Remy, Bobby went cold with fear. Remy was facing off against Sabretooth, and it didn't look like he was winning the fight either. His hair was mussed, his duster torn in several places, and there were four large bloody gashes running down the upper thigh of his left leg, claw marks left behind from Sabretooth.

Even as he watched, rooted to the spot, Sabretooth quickly gained the upper hand. Sabretooth was too close for Remy to try to charge a card, so he watched as Remy tried to knock Sabretooth back with a jab from his bo staff. Watched as Sabretooth grabbed hold of the end of the staff before it could connect. Bobby watched, panic starting to lick at his insides, as Sabretooth yanked on the staff, pulling Remy to him. Watched in growing fear as Sabretooth wrapped one clawed hand around the throat of the man he loved and started to squeeze, Remy struggling in vain to get loose.

Bobby couldn't let this happen, he wouldn't be able to stand watching Remy be killed. Right then it didn't matter to Bobby that Remy didn't love him, that he'd been tossed aside for the newest bunch of female conquests. He was scared to death of losing Remy permanently, as long as he was alive there was always the hope that Remy might one day want him back.

He was shaking, fear and panic starting to get the best of him. He was moving along an ice slide even before he was consciously aware of it. He just wasn't moving quick enough, he was going to be too late, he just knew it. Bobby looked on in horror as Sabretooth's arm reared back, claws poised to do the most damage. He wasn't going to make it, he couldn't make himself get there fast enough. Remy was going to die, all because he didn't get his ass in gear sooner. He was getting closer now. He was close enough to be able to lock eyes with Remy. He could see Remy's desperation to get away, as well as resignation that this was probably the end. And that was what scared Bobby the most, that Remy was ready to give up, wasn't going to fight for his life with everything he had. Bobby managed an extra burst of speed, his gaze never leaving Remy's face, finally making it to the building they were fighting atop.

At first Bobby thought that he was too late, because he'd never seen the look on Remy's face before. It was a mixture of fear, pain, surprise, and something Bobby wasn't able to place. But then he felt the pain. He hadn't realized it but as soon as he'd reached Remy and Sabretooth all his panic and fear finally overwhelmed him, making him lose his concentration, and control over his powers, turning him back into vulnerable flesh and blood.

Sabretooth's claws had ripped into him, tearing into his stomach, leaving him impaled, hanging limply on Sabretooth's arm. With a savage growl Sabretooth flung him away harshly, towards the wall of the building next to them. Bobby barely felt it as his head connected solidly with the wall, the pain searing through his gut was more then enough to distract him. Bobby dimly heard Jean's scream, followed soon after by Rouge streaking past and Sabretooth's roar of pain.

He must have passed out for a bit, because the next thing he knew he was being gathered up into someone's arms. Without opening his eyes Bobby knew who was holding him. Accompanied by the smell of sweat and blood was Remy. Forcing his eyes open, Bobby looked up at the face hovering over him. He was startled to see the tears running down Remy's face. Not once had he ever seen Remy cry before. He was saying something as well, Bobby could see his lips moving, but the rushing in his ears made it impossible to hear. It couldn't have been anything good though, judging by the fact that Remy looked kind of mad as well.

His vision going gray around the edges, darkness threatening to overwhelm him, Bobby's last thought was, 'I'm sorry Remy, I did something else to get you mad. I don't mean to piss you off, I really don't. it just happens. I'm sorry. I love you Remy.'

He went limp in Remy's arms then, leaving him sobbing brokenly over his body.

The End